It's All Harry's Fault
By DarkLady
Disclaimer: If I owned the Harry Potter Universe, everyone but Severus and Hermione would be gay. Since they aren't, I do not own the Universe.
He was a man on a mission.
As he trudges down the darkened 3rd floor hallway of Number 12 Grimmauld Place, his face was set with determination. Thankfully he encountered no one in his path, for they would have taken one look at his expression and ran the other direction, tails tucked between their legs, literally in Remus' case.
No one better get in his way, he was a man on a mission.
He was a man on his way to the bathroom.
It seemed like eternity before he arrived at his destination. He grasps the door knob and pulled, only to find it locked. One might think this was bad, but no, it was a very good thing. It meant that his prey was still inside. That she was finally caught in the act.
She was his.
He placed his ear against the door, listening through the wood for the tell tale sounds of his quarries illicit acts. There it was! Ah hah! Caught in the act! That unmistaken able sound!
It was the sound of someone vomiting.
A smile broke out over his face, an ear to ear grin. He pulled his ear from the door and settled his self against the door frame. Waiting. Poised to strike. Ready to apprehend the criminal as soon as the time was right.
He didn't have to wait long, for a few minutes latter he heard the telltale sound of the toilet flushing and the sink running. A moment or two after that the door unlocked and opened. He moved as quickly as lightning and he was in front of his prey. The look of surprise in her eyes was priceless.
It wasn't very often that one got to surprise the esteemed Hermione Granger.
"Harry, what on earth are you doing?"
Harry's eyes narrowed at her.
"Is there something you would like to tell me Hermione?" He asked quietly.
"I'm tired Harry. What is this about?" she said as she brushed a strand of hair out of her face.
"I think you know. You've been here every morning for the past 4 days, at the same exact hour, tossing your cookies."
"It's just the stomach flu."
"Hermione, the stomach flu is where you spend 2 days glued to the sofa with a stove-pot on the floor. Not working in library with no sign of an illness. Now, tell me the truth." Harry looked straight into Hermione's eyes, green into guilty looking brown.
Hermione shook her head and looked down; wrapping her arms around her self as if cold.
"I don't actually know Harry. I've been meaning to go see a healer, but, things keep coming up. With the war and my research, I haven't had any time."
Hermione looked up at him and he could see the weariness' in her eyes. His own eyes softened a bit and he sighed.
"I'm taking you to Madam Pomfrey."
"Harry! I'm fine. It's just a bug, probably from over work."
"No it's not Hermione and you know it." With that Harry grabbed her hand and pulled toward the nearest fireplace, which was in the study.
As he tossed a handful of Floo Powder he pronounced "Hogwarts Infirmary", sending them spinning through the Floo Network.
They arrived dizzy and covered in soot, but Harry was a man on a mission. He dragged Hermione over to where Med-Witch of Hogwarts was organizing potions and made her sit down on the closest bed. He ignored the death glare she sent his way.
"Mr. Potter, Miss Granger, what in Merlin's name are you doing here?" Madam Pomfrey said when she noticed them.
"Hermione's been sick for the past few days. She's been throwing up only in the mornings though." Harry said as he took a seat in the chair next to the hospital bed.
Madam Pomfrey turned her attention to the pissed-off looking witch and gave her a thoughtful look. She sighed and began to look Hermione over; checking her blood pressure, pulse, temperature, and all the things that healers do.
"I want you to drink this Miss Granger. I'll be back in a moment to check the results." Madam Pomfrey handed her a silvery purple potion from the wall and then headed into her office.
Hermione sniffed the potion after she took out to stopper and her eyes narrowed. Despite her reluctance, she drank the potion, making a face at the horrid taste. She shot another glare at Harry, who was leaning in the chair as if nothing was going on, and then lay down on the stiff bed.
It was a few minutes later that Madam Pomfrey came back from her office. She set a few parchments on the bedside table and then ordered Hermione to lift up the bottom of her shirt.
"What?" was all the teenage witch said, looking at the other witch as if she was insane.
"You heard me Miss Granger, lift up you shirt so I can see your chest and stomach." Madam Pomfrey said.
Hermione obeyed, knowing after 7 years at Hogwarts that the Med-Witch was not someone to be trifled with. She looked down at her exposed stomach just as Madam Pomfrey did the same. She saw a small glowing golden light situated between her bellybutton and the bottom of her breastbone. She inhaled sharply as the Med-Witch shook her head.
"It seems Miss Granger, that you are pregnant. About 5 weeks along from the results of the potion………."
Harry could tell that Hermione wasn't hearing anything Madam Pomfrey was saying after she heard "You are pregnant". Her eyes had glazed over and she was still staring at the golden light on her stomach.
"……And you'll need to drink plenty of water Miss Granger. I also want you back here in a few weeks so I can check up on the baby. Miss Granger, have you heard I word I said?"
Hermione looked up from her stomach, where the glowing light had already faded, and nodded her head. Madam Pomfrey sighed and turned to Harry.
"Have you been listening at least?" Harry nodded, "Fill her in once the shock has worn off, if she doesn't already know everything from reading the entire Hogwarts Library." Madam Pomfrey then began to fill out the parchments she'd set on the table earlier.
"Her due date is approximately December 20th. She's in good health so there shouldn't be any problems during the pregnancy, but if there is, I want her coming straight here. And I want to see the father with her 2 weeks from now. Am I clear Mr. Potter?"
He smiled at her as he said "Perfectly."
"Come on Hermione, time to go tell Professor Snape the happy news." Harry grabbed her arm and pulled her into the green flames, leaving a shocked Madam Pomfrey in their wake.
As soon as they stepped out of the fireplace in the living-room Hermione's shock was starting to wear off.
"Harry James Potter! What on earth did you do that for?" Hermione screamed at him.
"I did what I thought was best. Now you know the truth 'Mione." He replied nonchalantly.
"Not that and you know it! Did you have to mention who the father was?"
"Well, it is Snape's, isn't it? Not like she's not going to find out anyways." Harry turned around and noticed a shocked looking Remus staring at them from the sofa.
"Oh, 'ello Remus, having a good morning?"
Remus could only gape open mouthed at Hermione. She shot him a glare before making her way towards the stairs. Harry followed suit, shrugging his shoulders as he passed the werewolf.
"Come on Hermione, it's not as if everyone isn't going to find out anyways. It isn't everyday the Former Head Girl of Hogwarts gets knocked-up by the Evil Former Potions Master." Harry said as he caught up with her halfway up the stairs.
"It is not everyone's business. It's not fair to Severus if everyone finds out he's going to be a father before he does!"
"What?" A loud voice said from above them. When they reached the 2nd floor, they were ambushed by a dripping wet, half naked Draco Malfoy, who was standing there with just a towel wrapped around his waist. He pulled the two of them off to the side before giving Hermione a once over.
"You're having Sev's baby?" He asked in a low voice.
Hermione ran her hands threw her hair before answering, "Yes, all right. Will you please not tell anyone? He doesn't know yet."
Draco nodded, before wrapping Hermione in a bear hug screaming "Congratulations!"
He dropped is towel as he did so.
"AHHH! Draco let go!" She pushed him off her, covering her eyes, "That is not something I want to see!"
"Dear, what was it you were saying last night? Only I'm the one allowed to see you naked?" Harry said as he came up behind the blonde and wrapped the towel around him.
He left his arms around his boyfriend, making sure to secure the towel slowly. Hermione peaked through her fingers, glad to see that Draco's private parts were now covered, but did not like seeing the look on his face caused by Harry's hands being so close to those parts.
"Get a room you two." She turned on her heal and headed up the next staircase.
Harry followed, after giving Draco a small kiss. Again he caught up with her half way up. He flashed his best smile before saying "It's only Draco 'Mione."
"When are you going to tell Snape?" He asked as they climbed the rest of the way to the 3rd floor
"I'm going to tell him now. I was supposed to meet him in the back study 15 minutes ago."
"Any idea how he's going to react?"
Hermione looked at him and sighed, "I don't know Harry. We haven't talked about it. Marriage yes, but not kids. And especially not now. Not with the war and the uncertainty of life right now."
"Marriage? So, you're going to be Mrs. Hermione Snape?"
And again, they hear the telltale "What?" from above them.
"Oh Merlin, kill me now" could be heard from Hermione as they climbed the last few stairs. "Ginny, please, keep it down."
The youngest Weasley had a grin on her face to rival the Cheshire Cat. She started jumping up and down and clapping her hands like a child on Christmas morning.
"You're getting married to Snape? Oh Hermione, why didn't you tell me? We need to start planning your wedding right away!"
"You're going to need to do it fast; she won't fit in her cloths much longer." Harry whispered to himself. But Ginny heard him.
"You're pregnant as well? Ohhh! Now we need to plan a baby shower! 'Mione, we have so much to do!" Ginny continued to jump with excess energy.
"Ginny, quiet please! He doesn't know yet!" That seemed to calm Ginny for a moment, before she started laughing.
"Oh, that is going to be priceless! Potter knows he's going to be a daddy before he even does. He's going to kill you Harry!"
"Who's going to kill Potter because he knows he's going to be a dad before he does?" George Weasley said as he and Fred came into the hallway from their room.
"Ginny don't you dare tell them!" Hermione practically screamed.
"It has to be Snape, George, no one else hates Harry that much."
"Well, You-Know-Who does, but I doubt our dear 'Mione here would shag him."
"So 'Mione, when did you hook up with the Bat?"
Hermione glared at all of them before turning around and running down the hall towards the back study. She threw open the door and slammed it behind her.
"You're 20 minutes late Miss Granger."
Severus Snape was sitting in an overstuffed arm chair with a rather think book propped open in his lap.
"It's Harry's fault."
Severus looked up from his book and raised an eyebrow. He saw the look on Hermione's face and smiled. She looked absolutely livid. It wasn't very often that one got to see Hermione in such a state. He placed a marker on his page, stood up, and walked slowly over to her.
"Please, enlighten me on how Potter has managed to annoy you so early in the morning."
She looked up at him and he was surprised to see a little fear in her eyes. He wrapped her in his arms and nuzzled her hair.
"You might want to sit down Severus."
He raised both eyebrows, but he obeyed, taking a seat on the closest chair, dragging Hermione with him. As soon as she was settled comfortably on his lap, she took a deep breath.
"You know how I haven't been feeling well these past few days?" Severus nodded, "Well, Harry caught me coming out of the bathroom. He dragged me to Madam Pomfrey, and….. Oh Gods Severus, I'm pregnant. And on my way up here he couldn't keep his bloody mouth shut, so now Draco, Ginny, Fred, George, and Remus already know. And likely it will be all over the Order by the time breakfast starts." Hermione then buried her face in his chest and sighed.
But of course, Severus hadn't heard a word after "I'm pregnant". His arms tightened around her as she sought his comfort.
Hermione was pregnant. Pregnant. With his baby. HIS child.
"Oh Gods. Minerva's going to flay me alive." He buried his face in her hair. They stayed that way for a few moments before the rest of what she said sank in. His head snapped up quickly, and Hermione looked up at him at the sharp movement.
"But only after I sew Mr. Potter's mouth shut with his own insides."
"Do you even know how to sew?"
"I was a bachelor for many years Hermione. I also don't trust the house-elves with my cloths after they accidentally bleached all my robes. So yes, I know how to sew."
Hermione snorted at the though of her lover in bleach white robes. It was a scary thought.
Oblivious to them, the rest of the house was in a near uproar. Tonk's had finally been able to get Remus to break his stony silence, and had promptly fainted at the news. Mrs. Weasley had overheard Ginny talking to herself as she planned the entire wedding in her head, and was now drinking a large cup of Irish Coffee. In the process of reprimanding Draco and Harry for snogging in the hallway, with Draco still barely in the towel, Harry's "'least I can't get pregnant like 'Mione" had not gone unheard by the stern Headmistress. And after getting them to tell her who the father was, had decided they were going to need to start a Hogwart's Cemetery. Bill, Fleur, and Charlie had come across the Twins talking about what pranks to pull at the Snape-Granger wedding, and were now trying to convince them that no, charming their former Professor's dress robes orange was a bad idea. Florescent pink was much better.
A/N: I hope you all like this fanfic. It was a random plot bunny that attacked me one night. It originally was a one shot, but is going to tie into another one shot I have in working, "The Greatest Choice". Reviews please!
Excuse the miss spellings and sucky grammar. I've not beta.