Disclaimer: I don't own .Hack, so don't ask.
Timeline: After .HackQuarantine.
Dedications: To Goldberry, for always having great ideas and for giving me great reviews that inspire a lot of my stories. Thanks.
# # #
As Long as I'm with You
'Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.' The angry Heavy Blade berated herself as she paced the length of the great luminescent floor of the virtual cathedral. Delta-Hidden Forbidden Holy Ground was an anomaly within the world, a dungeon that had no monsters and no real purpose. It just seemed to exist. No one knew of it, it was a hidden hideaway where she could come to think without being caught in the swell of player-crowded dungeons. It was that reason, if for no other, that the Heavy Blade enjoyed this place so much. She could be alone, and right now, that's exactly what she wanted to be.
She had made what she felt was, certainly not the biggest mistake of her life, but right now what seemed a pretty damn significant one, and she needed some time to sort out her thoughts. But that was the problem; her thoughts were jumbling around inside her head in such a rapid spin she could hardly grasp one before ten others overpowered her attempt to get a handle on the situation. It was her fault why she was in such an indecisive state of mind, and she hated it. She was anything BUT indecisive. It's what gave her the strength to complete the often- dangerous missions with her partner Kite as they fought in order to save the coma patients. And now, with the Wave defeated and The World back to normal, with all the coma patients awakened she could be free from the fear and uncertainty, if not for her suddenly foolish lapse of judgment that would not stopped plaguing her.
A sudden chime of a Flash Mail ringing in her ear took her mind temporarily off her own problems. It was from Kite, wanting her to join his party, and it took every ounce of strength in her will to keep from bolting out the door to go to him. She wanted to, she desperately wanted to go to him, to see his caring smile and soft, tender eyes that lit up whenever he looked at her. Damn those eyes, and damn everything about him, that's why she did it. She felt so safe and secure when she was with him; she knew he'd never let anything happen to her, just as she'd stop anything that tried to hurt him. They were partners, but...she couldn't help thinking about him more everyday, and somewhere along their journey, she stopped thinking of him as her partner, because he meant more to her than she had the courage to admit.
Walking to the stone steps that led to the alter where the chained statue of the girl Aura stood, BlackRose turned and quickly sat on the marble stairs, burying her face in her hands as she let the tears fall freely. She didn't want to admit her feelings for the Twin Blade, but everyone had seen it, her friends in the real world, her parents, even Kazu, and he's rather dense. They all saw the change in her, she seemed perpetually plagued with happiness, more than she ever had before. She was the only one who refused to accept it, at least refusing to verbally admit it. So, she sent a simple email, an email to Kite asking about a having a wrap party for all their friends to attend, to celebrate the end of the crisis. It truth, she really only wanted to see him. That's why she wrote the second part of her email, the part that caused her so much contemplative stress...'You know what? I think I may be in love with you. Just kidding. Ha!'
As if! She knew she wasn't joking, and Kite knew her well enough to see through that as well. But she sent it regardless, before she had time to chicken out. The question that was plaguing her so much was, 'why?' Why did he seem to have this effect on her, make her feel like she could fly just with a smile, or a simple word, or even the way we walked or the way he breathed. Just everything about him made her feel more alive than she dared believe possible. So why risk everything, their friendship and partnership just to voice her feelings to him. Why risk ruining all that they had for all that they could become?
"Because I'm stupid, that's why." BlackRose answered her internal question loudly, her voice bouncing back at her from a thousand different angles as if reminding her of her folly. Though, what she couldn't understand was why she let this bother her so much? Neither her nor Kite have met in the real world, at least yet. They might not hit it off at all; of course she knew this was a lie also. She knew Kite as well as he knew her, and if they had nothing else it common, it was that there was chemistry between them that couldn't be described. From the very beginning they were a team. Maybe the feelings that she felt for him were inevitable, after all, she challenged anyone to spend as much time with him as she had and not feel the same.
So then, what was her problem? There seemed to be some invisible barrier that prevented her to move forward, to face her feelings. Perhaps she was afraid of the truth, or afraid of her feelings. Maybe she was just afraid Kite would reject her. Or maybe it was all of these things, each fear rearing itself to attention within her mind and not letting her absolve any of the problems at hand. Or it could simply be that she was cursed to spend the rest of her life as some lovesick ninny.
She was so lost in her own thoughts she hadn't even heard the opening of the large oak doors, or the soft footfalls of the Twin Blade making his way up the aisle and stopping several feet away from the suffering Heavy Blade. It wasn't until BlackRose sensed that familiar feeling; the electric tingling that possessed every fiber of her body before she finally looked up, knowing that Kite was standing before her yet not wanting to believe it.
Like always, Kite stood silently, watching his partner in her own isolated torment, wanting desperately to take whatever burden she was facing away from her, but not knowing what to say to do it. He could tell by simply looking at her, she was torn up about something, but also knew she'd only tell him if she wanted to.
"K...Kite...how long have you been standing there?" BlackRose asked, hurriedly rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand. She felt even more vulnerable than before, and hated the deep blush that began to burn her cheeks.
"I just got here..." Kite told her; unable to determine why her eyes were purposely avoiding his. He wanted to look her in her beautiful garnet eyes, to know what was wrong so he could help her out of it. "BlackRose, what's wrong? Please tell me."
BlackRose closed her eyes and turned her face toward the ceiling, anywhere away from Kite's eyes. Even with her eyes closed she feel his eyes on her, could see them so vividly in her mind and choked back another sob. She had no idea if she even had the strength, let alone the words to tell her best friend she was falling for him. She felt stupid and totally irrational. But above all, she was afraid.
Taking a deep breath, BlackRose answered him. "It's nothing, don't worry." She said in a forced calm that sounded completely unnatural, knowing Kite wouldn't be convinced, but like always, he'd let it go. She thought quickly to change the subject, to veer the conversation away from this dangerous territory. "So, what are you doing here?"
"I was worried." Kite said simply, and though she couldn't hear him, she felt him take a few tentative steps towards her. "I'm not sure, but something told me I'd find you here. I haven't seen you much since we beat the Wave, only a couple of times, and you haven't replied to any of my Flash Mails...I was worried about you. I guess I was worried about us...whether you still wanted to hang out with me. I mean...I guess since Kazu's back to normal, you don't have any reason to stay with me. I was scared...still am, about whether you even want to keep our partnership. I mean...I miss that...I miss us." He said shrugging his shoulders.
BlackRose kept her eyes closed, not at all worried about the tears that traced down her cheeks. She was having trouble breathing and wondered how her emotions had so violently taken control of her. Kite took a few more tentative steps towards her, and lowered himself to his knees. Looking up at her face, he raised his hands, his left touching her shoulder in what he hoped would be reassuring for her, and cupping her face in his right hand, his thumb wiping away the tears that fell from her eyes. For a moment, he was trapped by the touch of her skin and forgot this was only a game. Though, with a few exceptions, characters were merely digital reanimations of their players, and despite the tattoos and clothing they each wore, he felt himself holding the real BlackRose, if only in his mind. To his surprise she did not pull away from his touch, but leaned into it.
"Please," Kite whispered, his voice shaking now as well. He realized for some reason he had hurt her, but he didn't know how. "BlackRose, why won't you look at me?"
It was that plea in his voice that caused the Heavy Blade to shake with nerves. And opening her mouth to answer, she found the words stuck in her throat. She wanted to tell him, amidst the gentleness of his touch and caring tone of his words, but she couldn't find her voice to say what she wanted to. Instead, she took his right hand in hers, and pressed it gently against her face, moving her face deeper into his touch. She didn't want to open her eyes, afraid this was only a dream, and if it was just a dream, it was a dream she didn't want to wake from.
"I'm sorry." She managed to whisper, her voice shaking and exhausted. "I'm sorry...I was afraid. I'm sorry I let my fear keep me away from you. I'm sorry I wasn't able to tell you...I mean, this seems harder than any of the phases we've fought. I mean, after all of the challenges were done, I finally had to face it, and that scared me." BlackRose blurted, wanting to stop before she spilled her heart and soul to her partner, but willing herself to push forward. "I'm sorry I lied about the email. I wasn't joking when I said I think I'm falling in love with you...I meant it. But I was afraid to let you know. I mean, how do you just tell someone that?"
Kite made a sudden move to speak, but BlackRose stumbled forward, cutting any words he may have said off. "I mean...tell me why this had to happen. I can't stop thinking about you. You're in my mind; you're in my dreams. Every breath I take is yours. And I've been keeping this to myself all this time...and I feel like I'm drowning. I mean, what was I supposed to say? When did I have time to say anything? I was afraid of what you'd say when you found out." BlackRose paused to take a breath before continuing. "I was afraid you'd turn and run when you did find out."
Kite moved forward and pulled BlackRose into his arms, hugging her tightly as if she were the only precious treasure in the world, afraid of losing that treasure. Pressing his cheek against hers, Kite whispered lightly into her ear, "Why would you be afraid of that?" BlackRose let out a sigh, as if all the tension in her body was finally leaving her. Very shakily, she wrapped her arms around Kite and returned his tight embrace.
"Since we beat the Wave, and I haven't...we haven't been together, I've been a wreck." Kite said, hugging BlackRose tighter in the hopes of bringing her closer to him, hoping she understood how much she truly meant to him. "I've only gone through a few dungeons and only finish them half way before quitting. I have trouble concentrating on what I'm doing; with school, with my friends, my family...I'm becoming an inconsistent basket case. And it's only been a little under a week. I..." Kite broke off his words for but a moment, pulling away slightly from BlackRose and resting his forehead against hers, so he could fully lose himself in her endless garnet eyes. "You make me whole."
BlackRose slowly opened her eyes to stare into Kite's eyes, unable to say anything and barely willing to believe what he had just said. It wasn't his words that finally convinced her; it was truth staring out at her from behind his bright, shining eyes that told her everything she wanted to believe. It was as if they turned the page of their story and found the start of new and more wonderful chapter. Every doubt and fear within BlackRose vanished the moment she stared into his endless deep blue eyes, replaced by a torrent of excited nerves that made her feel slightly unsteady, but wholly excited but the unpredictability of what was to come.
"I'm an idiot." She said, thinking back to her emotional battle that seemed to consume her life for the past four days. Now that it was over, it seemed silly, but at the same time, it was honest. Because only Kite could make her lose control that badly.
"No," Kite said, raising his lips to press them lightly against her forehead. "You're perfect."
At that BlackRose smiled her trademark grin that had the power to light up the darkest dungeon and always caused Kite to blush furiously. "No, I'm not perfect, but I'm damn close." She replied, much more her usual self.
Kite smiled widely before resting his forehead against BlackRose's again, staring once more into her eyes, determined to commit every detail of this moment to memory. He found it almost beautiful that both of them were their normal selves again, that they were whole because of each other. That spoke louder volumes than any words they could, for there were no words needed to express what they felt for each other.
"You know, this will make things complicated." Kite said, smiling softly, unwilling to break away from her eyes as he felt himself falling into, half expecting to drown within the Champaign pools he had come to cherish so much.
"Since when have we ever done anything the easy way." She smiled back at him as his lips met hers in a deeply tender, yet powerfully passionate kiss. If they had not been holding each other so tightly, they would have sworn the floor of the church had fallen out from beneath them, but as it was, the earth itself moved, and time had stopped. All that existed within the universe was two hearts beating as one, and the joy that two people who had done so much for everyone else, found within each other.
The End
Author's Note: Yeah...fluffy. WAY fluffy. Well, hop you like it, please R&R. Thanks.
Dedications: To Goldberry, for always having great ideas and for giving me great reviews that inspire a lot of my stories. Thanks.
# # #
As Long as I'm with You
'Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.' The angry Heavy Blade berated herself as she paced the length of the great luminescent floor of the virtual cathedral. Delta-Hidden Forbidden Holy Ground was an anomaly within the world, a dungeon that had no monsters and no real purpose. It just seemed to exist. No one knew of it, it was a hidden hideaway where she could come to think without being caught in the swell of player-crowded dungeons. It was that reason, if for no other, that the Heavy Blade enjoyed this place so much. She could be alone, and right now, that's exactly what she wanted to be.
She had made what she felt was, certainly not the biggest mistake of her life, but right now what seemed a pretty damn significant one, and she needed some time to sort out her thoughts. But that was the problem; her thoughts were jumbling around inside her head in such a rapid spin she could hardly grasp one before ten others overpowered her attempt to get a handle on the situation. It was her fault why she was in such an indecisive state of mind, and she hated it. She was anything BUT indecisive. It's what gave her the strength to complete the often- dangerous missions with her partner Kite as they fought in order to save the coma patients. And now, with the Wave defeated and The World back to normal, with all the coma patients awakened she could be free from the fear and uncertainty, if not for her suddenly foolish lapse of judgment that would not stopped plaguing her.
A sudden chime of a Flash Mail ringing in her ear took her mind temporarily off her own problems. It was from Kite, wanting her to join his party, and it took every ounce of strength in her will to keep from bolting out the door to go to him. She wanted to, she desperately wanted to go to him, to see his caring smile and soft, tender eyes that lit up whenever he looked at her. Damn those eyes, and damn everything about him, that's why she did it. She felt so safe and secure when she was with him; she knew he'd never let anything happen to her, just as she'd stop anything that tried to hurt him. They were partners, but...she couldn't help thinking about him more everyday, and somewhere along their journey, she stopped thinking of him as her partner, because he meant more to her than she had the courage to admit.
Walking to the stone steps that led to the alter where the chained statue of the girl Aura stood, BlackRose turned and quickly sat on the marble stairs, burying her face in her hands as she let the tears fall freely. She didn't want to admit her feelings for the Twin Blade, but everyone had seen it, her friends in the real world, her parents, even Kazu, and he's rather dense. They all saw the change in her, she seemed perpetually plagued with happiness, more than she ever had before. She was the only one who refused to accept it, at least refusing to verbally admit it. So, she sent a simple email, an email to Kite asking about a having a wrap party for all their friends to attend, to celebrate the end of the crisis. It truth, she really only wanted to see him. That's why she wrote the second part of her email, the part that caused her so much contemplative stress...'You know what? I think I may be in love with you. Just kidding. Ha!'
As if! She knew she wasn't joking, and Kite knew her well enough to see through that as well. But she sent it regardless, before she had time to chicken out. The question that was plaguing her so much was, 'why?' Why did he seem to have this effect on her, make her feel like she could fly just with a smile, or a simple word, or even the way we walked or the way he breathed. Just everything about him made her feel more alive than she dared believe possible. So why risk everything, their friendship and partnership just to voice her feelings to him. Why risk ruining all that they had for all that they could become?
"Because I'm stupid, that's why." BlackRose answered her internal question loudly, her voice bouncing back at her from a thousand different angles as if reminding her of her folly. Though, what she couldn't understand was why she let this bother her so much? Neither her nor Kite have met in the real world, at least yet. They might not hit it off at all; of course she knew this was a lie also. She knew Kite as well as he knew her, and if they had nothing else it common, it was that there was chemistry between them that couldn't be described. From the very beginning they were a team. Maybe the feelings that she felt for him were inevitable, after all, she challenged anyone to spend as much time with him as she had and not feel the same.
So then, what was her problem? There seemed to be some invisible barrier that prevented her to move forward, to face her feelings. Perhaps she was afraid of the truth, or afraid of her feelings. Maybe she was just afraid Kite would reject her. Or maybe it was all of these things, each fear rearing itself to attention within her mind and not letting her absolve any of the problems at hand. Or it could simply be that she was cursed to spend the rest of her life as some lovesick ninny.
She was so lost in her own thoughts she hadn't even heard the opening of the large oak doors, or the soft footfalls of the Twin Blade making his way up the aisle and stopping several feet away from the suffering Heavy Blade. It wasn't until BlackRose sensed that familiar feeling; the electric tingling that possessed every fiber of her body before she finally looked up, knowing that Kite was standing before her yet not wanting to believe it.
Like always, Kite stood silently, watching his partner in her own isolated torment, wanting desperately to take whatever burden she was facing away from her, but not knowing what to say to do it. He could tell by simply looking at her, she was torn up about something, but also knew she'd only tell him if she wanted to.
"K...Kite...how long have you been standing there?" BlackRose asked, hurriedly rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand. She felt even more vulnerable than before, and hated the deep blush that began to burn her cheeks.
"I just got here..." Kite told her; unable to determine why her eyes were purposely avoiding his. He wanted to look her in her beautiful garnet eyes, to know what was wrong so he could help her out of it. "BlackRose, what's wrong? Please tell me."
BlackRose closed her eyes and turned her face toward the ceiling, anywhere away from Kite's eyes. Even with her eyes closed she feel his eyes on her, could see them so vividly in her mind and choked back another sob. She had no idea if she even had the strength, let alone the words to tell her best friend she was falling for him. She felt stupid and totally irrational. But above all, she was afraid.
Taking a deep breath, BlackRose answered him. "It's nothing, don't worry." She said in a forced calm that sounded completely unnatural, knowing Kite wouldn't be convinced, but like always, he'd let it go. She thought quickly to change the subject, to veer the conversation away from this dangerous territory. "So, what are you doing here?"
"I was worried." Kite said simply, and though she couldn't hear him, she felt him take a few tentative steps towards her. "I'm not sure, but something told me I'd find you here. I haven't seen you much since we beat the Wave, only a couple of times, and you haven't replied to any of my Flash Mails...I was worried about you. I guess I was worried about us...whether you still wanted to hang out with me. I mean...I guess since Kazu's back to normal, you don't have any reason to stay with me. I was scared...still am, about whether you even want to keep our partnership. I mean...I miss that...I miss us." He said shrugging his shoulders.
BlackRose kept her eyes closed, not at all worried about the tears that traced down her cheeks. She was having trouble breathing and wondered how her emotions had so violently taken control of her. Kite took a few more tentative steps towards her, and lowered himself to his knees. Looking up at her face, he raised his hands, his left touching her shoulder in what he hoped would be reassuring for her, and cupping her face in his right hand, his thumb wiping away the tears that fell from her eyes. For a moment, he was trapped by the touch of her skin and forgot this was only a game. Though, with a few exceptions, characters were merely digital reanimations of their players, and despite the tattoos and clothing they each wore, he felt himself holding the real BlackRose, if only in his mind. To his surprise she did not pull away from his touch, but leaned into it.
"Please," Kite whispered, his voice shaking now as well. He realized for some reason he had hurt her, but he didn't know how. "BlackRose, why won't you look at me?"
It was that plea in his voice that caused the Heavy Blade to shake with nerves. And opening her mouth to answer, she found the words stuck in her throat. She wanted to tell him, amidst the gentleness of his touch and caring tone of his words, but she couldn't find her voice to say what she wanted to. Instead, she took his right hand in hers, and pressed it gently against her face, moving her face deeper into his touch. She didn't want to open her eyes, afraid this was only a dream, and if it was just a dream, it was a dream she didn't want to wake from.
"I'm sorry." She managed to whisper, her voice shaking and exhausted. "I'm sorry...I was afraid. I'm sorry I let my fear keep me away from you. I'm sorry I wasn't able to tell you...I mean, this seems harder than any of the phases we've fought. I mean, after all of the challenges were done, I finally had to face it, and that scared me." BlackRose blurted, wanting to stop before she spilled her heart and soul to her partner, but willing herself to push forward. "I'm sorry I lied about the email. I wasn't joking when I said I think I'm falling in love with you...I meant it. But I was afraid to let you know. I mean, how do you just tell someone that?"
Kite made a sudden move to speak, but BlackRose stumbled forward, cutting any words he may have said off. "I mean...tell me why this had to happen. I can't stop thinking about you. You're in my mind; you're in my dreams. Every breath I take is yours. And I've been keeping this to myself all this time...and I feel like I'm drowning. I mean, what was I supposed to say? When did I have time to say anything? I was afraid of what you'd say when you found out." BlackRose paused to take a breath before continuing. "I was afraid you'd turn and run when you did find out."
Kite moved forward and pulled BlackRose into his arms, hugging her tightly as if she were the only precious treasure in the world, afraid of losing that treasure. Pressing his cheek against hers, Kite whispered lightly into her ear, "Why would you be afraid of that?" BlackRose let out a sigh, as if all the tension in her body was finally leaving her. Very shakily, she wrapped her arms around Kite and returned his tight embrace.
"Since we beat the Wave, and I haven't...we haven't been together, I've been a wreck." Kite said, hugging BlackRose tighter in the hopes of bringing her closer to him, hoping she understood how much she truly meant to him. "I've only gone through a few dungeons and only finish them half way before quitting. I have trouble concentrating on what I'm doing; with school, with my friends, my family...I'm becoming an inconsistent basket case. And it's only been a little under a week. I..." Kite broke off his words for but a moment, pulling away slightly from BlackRose and resting his forehead against hers, so he could fully lose himself in her endless garnet eyes. "You make me whole."
BlackRose slowly opened her eyes to stare into Kite's eyes, unable to say anything and barely willing to believe what he had just said. It wasn't his words that finally convinced her; it was truth staring out at her from behind his bright, shining eyes that told her everything she wanted to believe. It was as if they turned the page of their story and found the start of new and more wonderful chapter. Every doubt and fear within BlackRose vanished the moment she stared into his endless deep blue eyes, replaced by a torrent of excited nerves that made her feel slightly unsteady, but wholly excited but the unpredictability of what was to come.
"I'm an idiot." She said, thinking back to her emotional battle that seemed to consume her life for the past four days. Now that it was over, it seemed silly, but at the same time, it was honest. Because only Kite could make her lose control that badly.
"No," Kite said, raising his lips to press them lightly against her forehead. "You're perfect."
At that BlackRose smiled her trademark grin that had the power to light up the darkest dungeon and always caused Kite to blush furiously. "No, I'm not perfect, but I'm damn close." She replied, much more her usual self.
Kite smiled widely before resting his forehead against BlackRose's again, staring once more into her eyes, determined to commit every detail of this moment to memory. He found it almost beautiful that both of them were their normal selves again, that they were whole because of each other. That spoke louder volumes than any words they could, for there were no words needed to express what they felt for each other.
"You know, this will make things complicated." Kite said, smiling softly, unwilling to break away from her eyes as he felt himself falling into, half expecting to drown within the Champaign pools he had come to cherish so much.
"Since when have we ever done anything the easy way." She smiled back at him as his lips met hers in a deeply tender, yet powerfully passionate kiss. If they had not been holding each other so tightly, they would have sworn the floor of the church had fallen out from beneath them, but as it was, the earth itself moved, and time had stopped. All that existed within the universe was two hearts beating as one, and the joy that two people who had done so much for everyone else, found within each other.
The End
Author's Note: Yeah...fluffy. WAY fluffy. Well, hop you like it, please R&R. Thanks.