Lila Hayes – Forget About Him

The family told me 'he's going off to war 'forget about him' so, though it killed me inside, I forgot about him…until he came back. Reo is the only man I have ever loved and now I can't have him I'm 'engaged to be married' I'm a fool, I'm so sorry, Reo.

Lila Hayes – Pre-Wedding Jitters?

Pre-wedding jitters? Those are the LEAST of my problems. I am in love with a man and getting married to an entirely different man. I suppose it isn't a shock, most women scarcely get the choice but I always imagined I'd get the luxury to choose as long as he wasn't a total wastrel or a scandalous reprobate. To make matters worse Reo has returned from the front lines, honorably discharged of course and promptly accepts a job in security for MY FIANCE! Not only cannot I not have him but he is to be flaunted before my very eyes constantly – someone to be seen but never had. I don't know what I will feel like once he moves on and gets married…another woman will make him a fine wife but it won't be me…

Fall – 1950

United States East Coast

"The date of the Big Day when Ms. Lilian Haynes is to marry into the wealthy and enigmatic Ashrend family has not yet been released but the wedding is anticipated to take place in the Summer of 1951 in a public park where the whole of the city is invited to attend. However the reception following afterwards is a private ordeal, admittance being 'invite-only' making many wonder who will find themselves lucky enough to be present for the post-wedding well-wishes."

Reox glanced over at the television but already his interest in the news message had faded, he wasn't really all that interested in hearing more, easily allowing the noisy stupor of the bar to drown out any further words of the newscast. The marriage, not his though in many ways he thought it should have been. Lila had been his woman, his love as long as he could remember, if she was getting married he'd always had expected that her wedding would be his own, that she'd be getting married to him. It wasn't from lack of trying that he wallowed in self-pity, he'd made an offer for her hand, an offer she'd smartly rejected. Lila had enough sense to say 'no' - aiming higher than he could ever hope to offer or provide. Lila had always been destined for great things being raised upon the cusp of the upper middle-class with looks like hers. Even recognizing the logic of her choice the rejection hurt, it hurt like a bitch especially after all they'd been through.

He'd been pining silently to himself ever since news of the engagement had been released. It shouldn't have surprised him, even though he'd always had every intention of marrying her, perhaps he should have prepared himself for the fact that when she went off to the luxury of 'college' she'd find a man, a knight in shining armor to sweep her off her feet. College, what a joke, Reo knew what it REALLY was. It wasn't a place for women to learn, it was a place for them to go find good prospective husbands, better than they could get among the high school graduates in public amongst the common man. She'd gone to school to find better than him regardless of how good they got along together; she'd gone to school to remove herself from him, to strike a better mark. If he knew this so well than why had he bothered trying to propose? He knew the answer to that too, he'd have NEVER forgave himself if he didn't try. Funny thing was now that he had he felt like a loser AND a fool – what a glorious combination.

His eyes flickered up the length of the bar, trying to decide if he should order another and put himself under. He decided against it, he had plenty of alcohol to do that at home and he preferred passing out in private not public. The last thing he needed was to live up to everyone's low opinion of him. At least he was still functioning enough to count his bills, he slammed them upon the bar and got up, pleased that he wasn't stumbling about as he stepped into the street proper. If only Lila had the sense to choose someone else, anyone else would have been better than his bloody client. With a strong, lithe medium sized build, impeccable physical fitness, and top notch marksmanship his line of work ran dangerous, he was a bodyguard, bodyguard to Skyler Ashrend – Lila's fiancée, no escaping the wedding for him. Except for time off he was suffocated by it, by the preparations and emotions, it was why he'd taken two bloody weeks off it. His back up had been called in and he'd taken a temporary 'leave of absence' that went utterly unnoticed by anyone. Nevertheless he knew that he'd have to go back and face it all. Maybe he'd ask for a transfer, if he had difficulty watching her as fiancée how would it be when she became THE wife? No way in fucking hell he wanted to find out.

So caught up in his thoughts he wasn't even paying attention as he rounded the corner on the second floor, heading back to his apartment colliding with the small fragile body of another individual, "Sorry," he mumbled as he recovered, side stepping. Only he wasn't able to walk away, he suddenly realized that the figure he'd ran into had caught onto him, using a hold on his shirt to support herself, definitely a female but damn it if that scent wasn't familiar, it was Lila!

He hauled her upright and set herself upon her feet, gently but firmly jerking her hands free of his clothing, "Why are you here? And more importantly without your own guards?"

"I came to see you, have you been alright? You've been gone for weeks."

"It's called a leave of absence, sweetheart," and damn it if the alcohol wasn't talking, making his choice of words ever careless. In all seriousness those words were over the line, he had no right to speak to her like that. If he meant them he was being 'too intimate' if he didn't he was being 'insolent' and 'impolite', he grimaced, "What are you doing here? And unescorted to boot?"

"I'm taking a leave of absence," god damn, if that wasn't something he loved about her, something he feared the rich and wealthy would see crushed out of her, that spirit.

"You don't get the luxury of that, YOU are getting married and therefore belong under the care of your 'husband-to-be' and you are going back now!"

Even though he was off duty it was worth more than his job if the Ashrend's found out their 'treasure' ran away, he knew it, and didn't attempt to bring her back. His employment paid well and he wanted a favorable recommendation and transfer that meant she had to go before she got them both into trouble. Reox took a hold of her hand and started hauling her down the stairs and back into the street, whether her protests all along the way, until she pulled away once they got

"Will you STOP? Slow down? Why have you been gone so long? Have you been alright?"

"How about we focus on you? How in the hell did you give the stiffs (bodyguards) the slip?"

"Puh-lease, you speak as if that is hard," it wouldn't be hard, not for Lila, unlike most females in the early 1950's she had acquired usage of her brain and actually attended school. Book smarts weren't the only thing she had going for her either, the woman could slap down logic like it was second nature to her.

"You would not have gotten by with it on my watch."

"They AREN'T you," that much was certain,

"That is right, they aren't. You still haven't answered my question."

"You haven't answered MINE. You are avoiding me aren't you?"

That question hardly necessitated an answer, Reox was never one to bandy words, he said what he wanted, meant what he said, his actions were the same way - blunt and obvious. Regardless he gave her a lie, maybe it would keep her from stalking him to his doorstep halfways drunk, well maybe more than halfways, "No, I wanted a vacation which you have just ended with these antics, now I have to haul you and my ass back to work early."

"We need to talk."

"WE need to do NOTHING."

"You haven't spoken or looked at me once since the engagement, are you telling me that is coincidence?"

"It isn't, rejection kind of hurts."

"Are you saying that you won't have anything to do with me because of that?"

"Let's get something straight, Lila, whatever we had cannot be ANYMORE, so the talking is pointless! You've made your choice no matter how BAD a choice I think and we KNOW it is. What you see between us now is as close and far as we are going to ever be, you made it that way. I am an employee, your husband my employer making you mine as well."

"Is that how you truly feel?"

Hell no it wasn't, even now he knew the alcohol wasn't the sole source of the burning within him. Try as he might he couldn't quell the feelings he felt for her, that impassive speech was the only defense he had and it was a poor one when he had her alone, in his arms. Worse yet she wasn't tense, she was at ease and comfortable. All at once impulse control went out the window and he wondered if she was second guessing, was that why she came to him now, tone so doubtful, touches so hesitant, heart so uncertain. If there was a chance of wooing her away from this 'unhappy' fate she was walking into he'd take that chance in an instant even if it meant the possibility of her rejecting him again. Rough arms ensnared her within his grasp as he brought his mouth hard against hers, the weight of it demanding hers to yield and it did, her body shivering within his embrace and her mouth melting beneath his with a sigh that was pure longing. His tongue pierced her mouth as her body settled against his, the rigid length of him pressing between her legs where he was sure they were both yearning for that unity, that completion.

"Lila?"

The voice penetrated the dark of the night, the haze of their passionate interlude and he pulled away from her, recovering more swiftly than she could as he turned to his employer, "Reox, Lila," her husband-to-be, his eyes roved over that of his fiancée, a precursory check that she seemed to pass, that they both did.

"I found her out and about on her own."

"I thank you for that, we we're so worried," he stepped forward, claiming Lila by bringing her into the folds of his arms, a proprietary hand upon her shoulder, rubbing up and down the upper arm, "we've been looking everywhere for her. How fortunate you found her before the wrong sort did."

"How fortunate indeed," it was purest irony that Skyler could talk about the 'wrong sort' when he was just 'wrong' for Lila.

"Well, I should get Lila settled down for the night."

"I'm fine, I can see myself up to my room. Good night & Thank You, Reox," she slipped free of her fiancee's arms, beating a hasty retreat.

"Good night, Lila!"

She turned back to glance at him, her eyes so far away, she almost seemed to be seeing past him, almost as if seeing into the future and realizing that it held no happiness only horrors, she inclined her head wordlessly.

An awkward silence pressed between the two men, Reox having no been certain if they'd been 'in the clear'. Lila had taken a while to recover, even in darkness her face had been flushed, she'd been silent near breathless, and they'd been much too close, the situation was incriminating if Skyler had seen all or a few of those sign, one thing was sure Reox was going to take control of the conversation, he was going to talk first, it might save his ass and his job, "I've been meaning to speak with you."

"Shall we step into my office?"

"No, that, that won't be necessary. Over the last few weeks I've been doing some…thinking and I've decided to ask for a transfer."

"I see, it would be a horrible loss to lose you, you've been invaluable, skilled beyond measure even though your experience in the field is…lacking," it made sense, he was young, he'd only been at this a few years but still was one of the best, "I'll see what can be arranged though," there was a bit too much eagerness to the last words, oh yes he'd definitely seen their exchange and it had not been to his liking.

Summer - 1951

United States East Coast

"Please sit down, Reox, I wish to resolve this quickly, I must return soon."

Reox was more than mildly surprised, a mere hour after the wedding he was removed from active duty and instructed to meet in the master office only to be face –to-face with the groom. The wedding had been difficult to sit through but his job had demanded he be present thus he was present whether he wished it or not. Deep down he wondered if it had been a message to him specifically that Lila was Skyler's wife and he was forced to acknowledge it by his mere presence, a presence mandated by the terms of his employment. Gods knew that he'd have preferred severance pay, a pat on the back, and being sent on his way to seeing her married. It was a silent death, a future with Lila was the only one he'd ever seen, it felt like none now existed, not for him.

"I have composed a favorable recommendation and as you requested I've found several possible positions for one of your profession. One of which requires an…understanding before you accept, I'd like to get it out of the way."

"Years ago, my Father invested in a profitable venture, a venture that requires the best and brightest but also sacrifice. Deep under the ocean exists a city – Rapture. Now I have nothing to do with it, only bits and pieces but the truth is I forwarded your service record, my recommendation and you've interested whoever or whatever is in charge down there but the truth is they demand all or nothing, you have to make a choice right here, right now. If you go down there, you cannot come back up, the secrecy of the City and its ideals demands its inhabitants minimize contact with the surface to safeguard its…ideals. If you accept I have instructions for you to follow, instructions to lead you there but if not than you can go anywhere else and pursue your destiny elsewhere," he glanced at Skyler, noting the almost nervous anticipatory way he proffered this 'alternative', he still feared him, he wanted to get rid of Reox, to get him out of the way, to make him disappear.

The only thing was after today he was on board with that – he wanted to disappear, to disappear and forget what was lost to him, "Tell me."

No explanation was given, a sealed envelope was in his hand, "Follow the directions in there, your path should be set though if you do not intend to go it would be in your best interests to burn any traces of THAT letter. Understand?"

"Thank you. I think I shall…," a voice interrupted him.

"Skyler?"

Lila's voice, both of them turned as the door knob turned, her eyes seemed to lock on the two men, "I, I'm sorry, did I, did I interrupt something?"

"Of course not, you are dismissed, Reox."

"Are you leaving already? But the reception has just started surely if he is off duty now he can attend…as a guest, a friend right?"

Skyler mouth looked like he'd swallowed a lemon whole, it was bitter but somehow after years of tailoring himself to look good regardless of what he thought or felt his mouth yielded a smile at his wife. Lila tentatively returned it, there was a nervousness to her as if she could read the lust in his eyes, she might be a virgin but Lila was never an idiot, she probably did see it and it made her apprehensive. She was not in love with him simply living up to expectations, marrying well and settling down, "Of course, would you like to stay Reox."

"I…," before he could say more Lila interjected.

"Wonderful, shall we?"

Her arm laced with her groom's with little hesitation, dragging her 'spouse' back to the party and leaving Reox with little choice but to follow or be left behind. The last thing he wanted to do was stay and celebrate the wedding but the actions of the groom and bride made it clear they were not on the same page. Skyler lusted after her but was not capable of loving her and Lila desired love but knew only the fleeting physical shadow of it existed within her spouse, she'd married into wealth but that wealth would cost her true happiness – one that tragically she would have found with Reox. Already the gears were grinding methodically in his head, there was a way, if she'd abandon her spouse and run away, they could go it together. This place, this Rapture, it was a place of no return. God only knew what the place was like but it wouldn't matter to him as long as they had each other.

One Last Time, I have to try, she is making a mistake. She does not love that man but she loves me, it is why he fears me, why he wants me away, FAR away.

Although he was 'invited' he was still almost anxious as he stepped over to her, he'd allowed the groom and Father to have their traditional dances, even allowed a few lucky others to twirl her around the dance floor before he chose the moment to approach her. He proffered a hand out to her, one that Lila gave a measured look, glancing once at her husband as if getting his 'approval' or at least 'permission' to proceed. His look was one of disproval but it was not outright nor would he, with his rich boy upbringing, likely make a scene. It was with pleasure that the groom yielded albeit reluctantly allowing him to claim Lila for a dance or two.

"What are you doing?"

Her voice turned frantic as she realized he'd melted them into the shadows, drawing them away from the party, having hidden within the sea of dancing people.

"To show you what you won't hear," he brought his mouth against hers, his lips pressing against hers, his tongue coaxing, teasing her mouth to open. The kiss was altogether forward, almost aggressive. He'd never planned any of it out further, never had planned to take it beyond that point in time until the moment he felt her response, it was so natural even if it was tentative. Once she started touching him it was difficult to pull away let alone think, her innocent virgin touches were like a searing aphrodisiac, goading him to go on, One thing was certain her participation belied her willingness, she wanted it, want him, wanted more.

Even after the wedding today the deduction to act upon his impulses took little to no time to materialize into something more. He felt her fingers slide beneath the lapels of his suit's jacket, her nails scrapping lightly against his shirt as she searched for the fold down the middle where it was buttoned. Her explorations encouraging his own, he gripped her waist and hauled her between himself and a wall, never breaking the pressure of their lips, the dance of their tongues. His hand slid beneath the voluminous skirts of her wedding dress, his palm caressing up the length of her leg, coming to congregate and stroke along her inner thigh. Her legs parted to his questing hand as his fingers bypassed her undergarments, penetrating the silken heat of her feminine core. Instantly her virgin flesh tightened, coiling around that finger as she shivered in his grasp, a breathy moan escaping the taut outline of her lips as he stroked her, her thigh closed around his entire hand as it moved in and out. Moments later her body joined the movements, riding his hand as it mimicked the motions of entering and taking her.

He never went far enough, not to break the impediment of her virginity. It was a gaping reminder that she was a virgin and in front of man and god today that prize of her flesh wasn't rightfully his, wasn't meant to be his. His mouth contracted bitterly around the sudden dryness in his mouth, he wouldn't leave her wanting but he'd just leave it at that, allow her to walk away, it was definitely the saner thing to do. Lila, however, decided she wanted something else, something more. He'd never encountered any tales of virgins being so bold, it was like she wanted this so bad that it didn't make her afraid to explore and ask and demand, unfortunately for every action she did knowing or not it fanned their already passionate affair to new heights, to that point of no return. A climax shuddered through her as her trembling hands found the waistline of his pants, undid them, and freed his raging erection which had been painfully kept in check.

Somewhere along the way he had expected the whole ordeal, their passionate lovemaking to come to an end. Reox had expected Lila to come the realization of what she was doing and to stop him, to stop them both. If she did realize what was happening she never once stopped him. In fact it seemed like she needed this as much as he did, the closeness and contact they'd been denying for months, for years. They always had friendship, love, and companionship but as adults now they had physical lust going for them too. When he looked into her eyes he saw an awareness that made him know she knew that this was a choice, just another one of many, but this was the one that felt right to them both. Nevertheless he had to ask, to make sure that this wasn't a 'heat-of-the-moment' decision that she'd regret for the rest of her life, "Do you want this? With me?"

His voice almost cracked at the idea of her being able to reject this between them. She placed her palms upon his cheeks and kissed him, nothing passionate just sweet and chaste, "I want this," while I have a chance, "with you," while I have a choice. It was a bitter realization that this the first 'selfish' thing she had done, it was also the first thing she'd done that she wanted. Her family had wanted her to have a rich, well-to-do husband, she had that but there was a stark realization that she only had these 'snatches' of time to be happy, to gain a small sliver of happiness before fatalistically living up to the expectations.

She was abandoning a love match for lust at best, her family gaining wealth and prestige "gold-digging" at the expense of her freedom. After this she'd be expected to be a dutiful wife and mother, perfect in all things, a trophy. To be something (not someone) for her husband to wear upon his arms, to be shown and seen but never heard or known. It was a small miracle in itself that she hadn't ran away, gods knew that she had dreaded this wedding ever since it was in the planning, the works. Deep down she knew that she'd never have a chance of getting away, the two families would see to it that she stayed put, and if they had to, to make sure she behaved. At worst if she turned to Reo that would get him in trouble, more than he could handle, it would ruin his chances at a future, she couldn't be that selfish. No, she couldn't run away, not when she was 'in' this 'deep' but she could do this – this intimacy, an affair. Lila knew that she loved him and she wanted him to know that. She wanted him to be her first where he'd never be her 'one and only'. So many times she'd heard other females from upper-class ladies and lower-class whores say the same thing 'you never forget the first' 'make the first one special, make it count' – she intended to. This moment with Reox would become a memory of light for her to keep in the dark day to come, when living through her bleak future.

Without thought she parted her legs, allowing them to straddle him, cradling his waist as his length settled between her legs, she couldn't see anything beneath the skirts of her gown but she felt him pushing in, penetrating her then he stopped, his touch turn soothing and placatory then he came forward in a rush that had her seeing stars, tasting copper, she realized she'd bit her lip and it was the only thing that kept her from crying out when he'd taken her virginity. She hadn't been totally ignorant but she'd forgotten the advice she'd gotten from friends and family that the act hurt a bit, even if you were prepared, often men were so large and she knew she was very small, very tight. Gradually the pain faded to a dull throb that she easily shrugged off, there was a pleasurable thrill to the way he filled her, "I'm alright…"

She was ready to explore past the pain, to get to the pleasure. This time he was able to go deeper, allowed to stroke along the entire length of her passage. Upon the retreats there was a pleasurable friction of growing heat, upon the push inward that feeling of possession, a possession that thrilled her, a possession she wanted. He was a considerate lover, starting out slow but over time it became impossible to feel the pain around their passion. The pace naturally sped up, bringing them to spiral up further towards a climax. The act was both an eternity and a blur, it seemed to take such a long excruciating time to get to that point of blissful release but so swiftly it came upon them, bringing them down and bitterly back to the realization that it was over.

For a long time silence settled over them, it was uncomfortable to say the least. She was a newlywed adulteress and he was scorned suitor turned lover but both of them knew that kind of arrangement would never work, they would likely never manage to pull off what they had this evening.

"I have something to tell you," he finally, "I've requested a transfer, it has been granted and arranged, it is what we, your husband and I were setting up before your reception," understanding flooded her, awareness coursing through her in an instant, "It doesn't have to end here, I know of a place, a place where he cannot follow you, a place where you can be free, we can be together regardless of what happened today."

"Reo…you don't understand."

"Lila? Please."

"Don't, just don't," she paused, trying to pull out of his arms, feeling her resist and fight him only made him want to hold her all the tighter, the last thing he wanted to do was surrender her. For a few short minutes he had heaven, if he let go he knew it would not fall back into his keeping again, if he let go she'd be beyond his reach.

"You've made a mistake, you know that," he shook her lightly, his hands almost encircling her upper arms like manacles, "yet you do nothing to rectify it."

"I can't rectify it but you're not one to talk, you are so caught up in your dreams, your fantasies that you can't see reality!"

"Funny, this sure as hell doesn't feel like a fantasy."

"Let go," her voice was iron hard as her blue eyes surveyed him, the threat was there, she could ruin his future with a word, scream for help, she was the 'victim' everyone would believe her. Deep down he didn't believe that she'd set him up for rape but right now she was so desperate, so distant, so irrational, he wasn't sure if he knew her at this moment. He retracted his grip with reluctance and her gaze softened; there was love there, a love that was more pain to her than anything else. Her palm reached out to touch him, to lay bare against his cheek, "I love you, Reo but your life, your destiny does not lie with my own. I've chosen my path, you've chosen yours, both lead us in different directions. Its time you realized that - this was a mistake, one that won't be repeated," she swallowed, leaned up upon her tiptoes, and kissed him upon the cheek. The kiss felt like a burn, it was a gesture of friendship that signified the distance she'd now interjected between them. Lila carefully gathered her skirts in her hand looking back once before fleeing, leaving him with the fleeting memory of her in flesh and blood. Possessing Lila had been such a hollow victory; somehow he'd won her heart but lost her nevertheless, won the battle but lost the war…

Lila never returned to the party, she just couldn't as much for physical reasons as emotional ones. Physically she was disheveled, it was evident she'd been with someone, emotionally she was in pieces, at least her physical appearance matched her emotions. She'd been a fool, oh no, she did not regret the brief and torrid affair they had if it could be called that, even on her wedding day she almost proudly wore the title of adulteress though only she knew of her infidelity, there had been no witnesses. Her foolishness had been in believing that she'd scorn her true love and that he'd be able to stay, to be her friend, to help her weather the disaster of her married life when he could not remotely be part of it, part of her life. How could see have thought he'd would have been able to stay seeing her married to another man.

To make it worst the disagreement they had before she left only made her feel all the more wretched. She HAD to silence him before she fancied doing exactly what he offered, it seemed quite impossible for there really to be a place beyond the reach of others, but every part of her had wanted to believe him and that is why she had to stop him, before they did something they'd regret. She'd regret this entire day but no part of her could regret her time with Reo, no matter how much she claimed it was stupid or foolhardy, her heart would not allow it.

The latch of a door handle turned behind her, she put down her brush. She'd long since cleaned herself up of sweat, blood, and seed then dressed herself in a nightgown. Some parts of the love-making she'd had remained such an the dulled pain between her legs but none were visible. Truth be told though no one had needed to see the affair to know it happened, she'd disappeared off the dance floor with a man who'd been her 'love' it didn't take too much brains to piece together their absences with her absence from the reception. No confirmation was needed but she knew she had to steel herself because her 'husband' knew what she'd done this night and she had no clue how he'd react. She didn't dare offer him a smile nor did he give her one, his face was unreadable as he stepped into the room, his eyes taking in the sight of her ready and resolute. It was as if that 'spirit' and the defiance it exhibited, displeased him. She'd disgraced him publicly this night, he wasn't likely to forget it nor was he likely going to let her. Her spouse crossed the room in a few solid strides, backhanding her so hard she fell to the floor, on the way down her head hit the bathtub nearly knocking her into unconsciousness, her vision scrambled as she tried to recover her bearings. Rough hands pulled her up, hauling her against wall, "Come, Wife, if you can whore for him you can do it for me."

A/N: I am just looking for some HONEST opinions, that means I want reviews, nothing too detailed or extravagant. I just want to hear whether you like it or not, what you like or don't like, and whether you'd be interested in reading more or not. Right now it might be too early to tell if you'll like a story from the first chapter but sometimes it is the first chapters that make the story. I am going to warn you this RATED M and it is because of this chapter, it has some semi-explicit content/coarse language towards the end. To my knowledge, the rest of the fic, not so much. This chapter was the one in which the 'love child' was conceived, on the other chapters I will likely censor anything too mature.