A/N: This goes beyond my natural hatred of Nate River. This is… bad plot!
I do not own Death Note. If I did, then this story would have occurred, and it would have been awesome.
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During their communications, when Near didn't know that the new L was in fact, Kira, Light had been able to subtly manipulate the SPK's computer. In other words, he hacked it.
It was this fact that allowed him to watch as Near saw all his monitors show the image of Mikami Teru voicing his opinion on Kira, then gawk at the outright absurdity of Near deciding that Mikami was his assistant based on that fact alone.
But then, Light's genius brain started working…
I can have FUN with this!
Light immediately opened up his programming software and got to work…
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The next day, one of the SPK members came into the main room.
"Near, now that we have our prime suspect for X-Kira, what should we do?"
"Right now, we have to watch, and wait for a time where we can act." Replied Near.
At that moment all of his monitors flicked on at once, to the same channel.
It was Elmo.
Near could not explain why Elmo was on all of his monitors. But he didn't mind, since the fuzzy talking doll was one of his favorite companions at the orphanage. But what came out of Elmo's mouth sent Near into conniptions.
"Elmo says Hail Kira, God of the New World! Everyone should praise him and help him cleanse the filth! Hee hee hee!"
Near flipped around. Indeed, Elmo was on all his monitors at once, praising Kira! This couldn't mean… could it?
His eyes flashed blinding white as his mental faculties threw themselves into overdrive. Calculations of percentages and probabilities solved themselves in seconds.
"It's all so simple!" He said to no-one in particular.
"Elmo is also one of Kira's assistants!"
End A/N: I hated the way Near "discovered" Mikami. Total, unashamed plot device. I may eventually write more of this crack, but not until I finish Brother's Footsteps. And only if you people like this kind of stuff.