"Barbed Wire Fence"

7:32 P.M., Pacific Time

You know, I like Carly's friends a lot. They're pretty funny to watch. Heck, Sam even inspired me to sculpt something. Well, she inspired me, and then I started thinking of the counter she was sitting next to. Then, I started thinking of Swimmie. Then, I started making a sculpture of a fish, and then-

Wait, what? What was I talking about?

Oh yeah, Carly's friends. Freddie's one awesome little dude, and his fencing skills rock! I never could win a single match against him. Actually, I could never really win a match against anyone, but man was it fun! You get to wave around your saber and you look cool-

Shoot! Spencer, get it together!

Geez, these days I get more sidetracked than that long Pak-Rat binge I once had. Oh man was that a blast! Have you ever played it? It's a classic, and I can really call myself the master since I beat (and then dated, may I add) none other than Sasha Striker herself! And then all these guys from the Video Game Channel came over and then-

Okay, I'm done!

Here, I'll get straight to the point. Yesterday was absolute insanity! I mean, practically every day Carly's friends are over is absolute insanity, but this is different. This is the not-so-fun insanity, as in an actual cause for worry is needed.

Now I've gone through insanity before. I've dated insanity, a la Ms. Ackerman. I've tasted insanity, considering Galini's pies, which are out of this world may I add. And then I've had to escape insanity; being strapped to a massage table by a couple of Japanese crazies, case and point.

But yesterday takes the cake, sets it on fire, and shoves it down my pants.

Okay, that didn't make much sense, but at least you know where I'm coming from!

Anyway, my afternoon was going pretty normal. I was a little tired because I think I woke up at around 3:00 in the morning and heard something about someone yopping Carly's doozer and there being five avocados, but other than that, it was pretty normal.

I was in my room, nearly done with my "hat sculpture". I was pretty smart in working in my room this time around since Sam and Freddie were at the apartment, and while they are fun to hang around and everything, a delicate dome of hats and headwear with no inside support was just begging for an accident.

And there I was, stuck on what to do next because I had to place a football helmet on the very top of a weak, outer frame composed of soft fedoras, flexible baseball caps, winter hats, Mexican sombreros, and so on. If I tried to start over with the football helmet on the bottom, than I'd have to unglue everything, and then scrape all the hardened glue off first.

Any-who, I was in the midst of deep thought until it hit me.

I needed a shower.

Yes, the shower. It really is great. When you're in total privacy, have loud water running, and completely soaked, don't you feel that you can finally think straight? Well, I do.

Then I heard what was probably the loudest thing I've ever heard in my life. I played in a band once, and when we practiced, we were loud. When Carly and her friends are doing the web show, they can get loud.

But this? This was earsplitting loud. A couple of hats fell off of my sculpture just from the sound waves.

So what in Harry Joyner's name was so loud? Simple answer: Sam.

"What!?"

"Sam, please-" That was Freddie's voice.

At that point, I was genuinely concerned. I ran out to the living room and saw Sam swing around to look at me for a split second before sprinting out the door.

Freddie, who was a couple feet across from her, took off to follow and called her name, but stopped at the doorway. I stood behind him and looked down the hallway to see where Sam was going, which I assumed was down the stairs and out of Bushwell Plaza.

Mrs. Benson opened the door to her apartment, wondering what that same noise was. I told her I didn't know and looked at Freddie to get some answers. Mrs. Benson did the same.

Freddie didn't look at either of us. All he did was look down the hallway with one of the most panicked faces I've ever seen him wear.

Then, one of Carly's other friends from school, Gibby, came up the stairs with a priceless face of confusion. He probably passed an upset Sam while coming up.

Freddie walked over to his place across the hall, his head hung over and his hands pulling his hair. I almost said something, but realized it probably wasn't my place to ask since Mrs. Benson, worried, asked her son what was wrong and involuntarily closed the door in my face.

Gibby just stood there. I didn't know what to tell him. I didn't even know why he was here.

Then Carly came in through the elevator and ran in, asking for Sam. Had she really been that loud?

"Where's Sam!? Is she okay!? Did she get in trouble with the Seattle police again!?"

I reassured her that the police weren't involved, and the whole thing had probably been another argument between her and the Fredster.

"Alright, let's hope it wasn't as bad as it sounded."

"Yeah, I'm sure it wasn't." I told her, but I actually wasn't so sure myself. "Sam and Fred-o been getting along lately?"

"No. A week ago, the insults just kept getting worse and worse," Carly walked over to the fridge, "but now they hardly talk anymore." she finished while pouring herself some lemon iced tea.

"Except when they occasionally shove or throw things at each other." Gibby added, closing the apartment door behind him. "I'd stay out of it, but it's hard when you're caught in the line of fire every time."

"Oh! Hey Gibby!" Carly greeted while forcing a smile. "Didn't see you there."

I forgot about him too. Man, my mind was out there before all this started. What did I eat the night before?

"If this is a bad time, I can always come back again tomorrow."

I looked over for Carly's response, but she stood there next to the counter with the lemon iced tea in her hand. She hadn't taken a sip, and she stared at the floating ice cubes with those worried eyes I found always found unpleasant to find.

"Carly?" Gibby waved his hand across the room. "Uh, Carly?"

She put down the tea. "Gibby, nothing against you or anything, but I think it's best that you leave."

He nodded and headed for the elevator.

"Listen, I'm sorry you had to get caught up in all of this. Everything's just been insane these past couple of days."

Gibby pushed the button and stepped in.

"Hey, everything's always insane, but that's life isn't it?"

I thought about it for a bit, but before I could say anything back, the elevator door closed.

"So," I started awkwardly, "is it alright if I ask what's been up?"

Carly sat down at the dinner table, drink in hand, and took a deep breath.

"Well, in case you haven't noticed by now, Sam constantly picks on Freddie. Insult here, insult there, and then there's the occasional smack to the face."

I knew this for sure, but I didn't wanna butt in. Now that I think about it, you can't really know Freddie without knowing Sam and vice-versa. Those two have too much fun giving each other torment, but then why would they be arguing so much…

"And then a month ago on iCarly, Sam told the world that Freddie had never kissed a girl before. The next day at school turned into a nightmare."

Yowch, talk about rough.

"It was like she didn't even care that Freddie was the laughingstock of Seattle and the internet."

Now that's rough.

"Then, and I swear this was a total miracle, Sam told everyone watching iCarly to back off. She even admitted the fact that she hadn't kissed anyone either. After that, she went to go talk to him. Then, they kissed and made up."

Wait.

"Hold on, so Sam and Freddie kissed-"

"Not literally, silly, although Freddie was glowing so much the next day, who knows, right?"

Carly cracked an actual smile, finally.

"A couple days later, I thought things were finally going back to normal," her voice was rising, "but no, Freddie just had to get weird. All of a sudden, the fights between my two best friends were getting louder, violent, and worst all, hard to control!"

She took a drink of her lemon iced tea. I hoped that would calm her down a little, but her next couple of lines killed my hope.

"One week after that, and it's total war! Sam's pulling every prank possible, and she doesn't care that about half of them could wind up with Freddie in the hospital! Then Freddie actually tried to fend her off with a fencing sword, a sharp fencing sword! This wasn't for fun anymore, this was pure hate, and I could sense it"

This was getting serious. Well, I guess it got serious when Sam screeched and ran out the door, but this was getting even more serious than that.

"So this past week, half of the kids are wearing helmets just in case either of them decided to do something extra risky. Luckily, neither of them did, but I think the fact that they stopped doing anything to or with each other at all is just as bad."

"Maybe they're just cooling down?"

"I wish they were, but I've been talking to them both individually, and the loathing still hasn't stopped. It's like a giant stretch of barbed wire fence between the two. They can't do anything, but they can still each see the other to occasionally condemn them and whatever it is they're doing at the time."

She finished her drink and got up to wash the glass and the rest of the dishes.

"Whoa, hey, Carly, it's fine, I'll do the cleaning tonight. Why don't you go rest? A little sleep never hurt." I took over the sink

"Yeah," she dropped the rag and glass, "but how can you sleep when your best friends are going to bed with dreams of killing each other?"

Carly, probably tired, walked up the stairs without saying a word.

So here I am now, a cabinet full of clean plates and cups, but stuck with a broken sister and her feuding friends. At this point, I can't really comfort Carly any more than lend an understanding ear. I know I'm her brother and everything, but I'm too out of the loop to really do anything with emotional problems despite the whopping story I just heard.

I hope she knows that it's her problem, as tough as that sounds, and that she has to be the one to fix this.

Who knows, maybe I can talk to Freddie and how he can cut down this 'barbed wire fence' keeping Sam and him-

Wait a second.

Wire! That's how I'll get the hats to stay in place! Put in a light, outer wire framing!

To the store I go!