A/N: Okay, so I pretty much have been MIA (Missing In Action) for like the last year? That's cause I got . But I'm getting my job in a couple of months to try and get into college-where I hope to study film and possibly become a director or cinematographer. Maybe even a screenplay writer. Moving on! I have a lot of stories I started but haven't continued/finished. SO, I just wanted to let you all know I do plan on finishing them. Looking back on previous work, I found myself not pleased. So most of, if not all, stories are getting a Re-Write. I thought I would kick-off my re-writes with one of my personal favorites, Crooked Reality. It's the same story. All I did was expand and fix a few errors. So if this your second, third, whatever time, reading, please review and let me know if you still love it. Or if this is your first time, review and let me know your thoughts. Enjoy.

Reality: Reality can be defined as a state of being. My reality, my state of being, seems to be slipping. My mental state has severely changed into something I don't understand. I don't know my own head or even who I am anymore. Even with all this dark and gloom around me, this state of never ending confusion, she is the only thing that I want. Yes, she. She is more lovely then a sunset. There are no words in any language to describe just how perfect she is through, and through. I want her. She would be a perfect fit to my puzzle. She would complete me. The only thing is, I can't have her. The fact that I can't have her make me angry. If I can't have her then no one can. Why can't I have her you wonder? Because she is my stepsister. It would be, wrong? Or that's what I'm told.

Our parents met and married when we were both sixteen. I remember thinking even then that she was brilliant. Now things have changed. For so long I have wanted her and now I can no longer control the want. I have been waiting for two years too long.

There are two ways this could end.

My name is Derek Venturi. I'm a high school senior and that's all I really care to divulge. The name of my beloved is Casey McDonald. She, as I said above, is everything perfect. You may be thinking my feelings for her border on the tad un-healthy side. It's true, they do. But what, I ask you, can you do when you fall madly in love? When you find your soul mate? One can only truly understand this when they have experienced it. I will admit that I am a tad obsessive. I can't help myself. I want to know everything about her. I want to fill myself with her. I want to be one with her.

I watch and admire my beloved Casey from afar. I know her favorite songs, favorite movies, favorite books, favorite colors and the jokes that will make her nose crinkly in that cute way when she giggles.

You don't understand the kind of torture it is not to be able to worship her openly. How I long to touch her smooth skin. To taste her sweet lips. To ravish her in ways a goddess deserves to be ravished. I long to tell her my feelings. Scream them from a mountaintop! Let the world know I love Casey McDonald. She would smile her perfect smile and tell me she feels the same.

Often I've dreamed of our life together. It was perfect and beautiful with never ending love. However, they were just dreams. Lately its been getting hard to tell the difference between dreams and reality.

I needed to tell her my feelings. I needed to know how she felt. I needed desperately for it to turn out the way I wanted it turn out. The right way and not the other way. There are two ways this could end.

I had it all planned out and the timing couldn't be more perfect, it was as though God was on my side. It was Halloween night and our parents were going to take the younger siblings out trick-or-treating. It was going to be just me and Casey.

Casey sat on the coach while I sat in my usual chair. She was wearing pink jogging pants, a white spaghetti strap tank top and a matching pink jogging jacket over it. Her hair was pulled back into a tight pony tail. She was so stunning.

I kept glancing at her from the corner of my eye, which she didn't notice because she was paying attention to the TV. I coughed to clear my throat, which directed to her attention from the TV and onto me. That's what I wanted to happen, so I was very pleased.

"Something on your mind?" she asked in her angel like voice.

I looked straight at her, making eye contact; her eyes were so beautiful. My heart started to race and I was started to feel weak. I took a few shallow breaths to calm myself.

"Casey," I began. "I'm in love with. Truly, madly, deeply. I have been for quite sometime."

She looked at me with what I would interpret as stunned.

"I guess what I'm trying to say or ask is. Casey, will you be my girlfriend?"

I waited for an answer. I sat there with my heart out in the open, waiting for the "YES! Yes Derek I would love to be your girlfriend."

"Derek," she said softly, her features not revealing anything of what her answer might be. "It wouldn't be right. We are step siblings and we live in the same house." She looked away from me and back to the TV.

"My answer is no." she said.

I didn't know what to do. I hadn't anticipated her rejecting me. No one has ever rejected me. I feared that she might say no, but inside hoped she wouldn't. I had given her my heart, my love and what did she do in return? She bit it. She threw it to the grown and stomped on it. I was torn. The room was spinning, my head was dizzy, and I couldn't breath. The pain was worse then anything I have ever experienced. What hurt even more was that I was over here dying while she calmly continued to watch TV with no remorse. I knew what I had to do. There are two ways this could end and she has chosen number two.

I quietly exited the family room and went upstairs to my room. When I entered I went straight to my desk chair and sat down. There are two ways this could end. One way was us being happy and together forever. The second was, well, if I can't have then no one can. I opened my desk drawer and pulled out a syringe, which contained a muscle relaxant. It was enough to last as long as I needed it to. I set the syringe on top of my desk, got up and walked over to my closet. I bent down to pick up my hockey stick. I stared at it long and hard; thoughts swirled around in my head. I didn't want to do this, but I had to.

I stood at the top of the stairs looking down at her; she was still infatuated with whatever is on the TV. I tip toed down the steps so she wouldn't hear me coming.

I stood directly behind her, gripping my hockey stick tightly. One good swing is all I need. Powerful enough to knock her out, but not kill her. I gripped it tightly, pulled back, and swung away. It made a large smacking noise as it made contact with the back of her head. Casey fell face forward on the floor. There was a smidgen of blood on my hockey stick.

I tossed it aside, and walk over to her. I scoop her up in my arms and took her to my room, where I place her on my bed. I knew it would be quite sometime before she woke up.

I sat on the edge of my bed staring at her figure in the pitch black. Just staring. Casey's silhouette started to stir and she jolted awake. Her breathing was ill regular and panicky. I could tell that she was scared. I quietly picked up the syringe, which was lying in my lap, and held it in front of me. I leaned forward and my hand grazed her foot. She became startled and brought her legs to her chest. She then scooted all the way back to the wall; I knew I had to act quickly. She moved to the side of the bed and leaped forward onto her, jabbing the syringe into her ankle She screamed as she rolled onto the floor. She crawled to the door, stood up, and ran out.

The drugs started to spread quickly through her body. When she reached the stairs, her muscles went numb and she fell down them.

I found her lying at the foot of the stairs; a small puddle of blood under her head. She laid there squirming and groaning in discomfort. I walked down and picked her up. The fall left her disoriented.

"Derek. Derek, what are you doing?" She moaned.

"You made me do this Casey," I whispered into her ear. Her eyes got wide with fear and confusion.

I brought her into the bathroom. I gently laid her in the tub and plugged the drain. Her eyes looked scared and tears started filling up in them. I turned on the water. It came out fast and angry, quickly filling up the tub. Casey tried to mouth 'why?'

I leaned down and gave her a gentle kiss on her lips. Kissing her was something I had wanted to do for so long; too bad it was under these circumstances. I wiped away her tears and whispered to her.

"I love you. See you soon."

I left the bathroom, and went back into my room. I sat back at my desk and turned on my lamp light. I grabbed a pen and a piece of paper and proceeded to write:

To Whom May Concern (Dad and Nora.)

You will come home tonight, and find Casey and me dead.

The reason for such an act is because we are in love!

Deep, passionate love.

We feel society, friends, and mainly family, would not be able to accept us for who we are.

This decision was only made so we could be together without any of the problems.

I ask you not to mourn for us, but rather rejoice! Rejoice in knowing that we will be able to be together forever.

Love Casey and Derek.

I grinned at my perfectly written letter. It was our suicide letter. I laid the letter on my desk, and the pen on top of the letter. I reached into my desk draw and pulled out another syringe. I tapped the needle and injected it into my arm; I grimaced from the light sting that it made. I turned out my light and exited the room.

I walked back into the bathroom; Casey was completely submerged and no air bubbles were coming up. I came closer to the tub, took a long breath, and stepped in. I positioned myself across from her and sunk down; letting the water completely devour me. Water filled my nostrils, and I could feel it flowing into my entire body. My thoughts left me and I drifted away.

-

"Perfect." Derek said to no one but himself. He dotted the last period and grinned at his now finished work. He closed the green notebook, reached over, and grabbed a black sharpie. On the front he wrote, 'Story # 35' He grinned again at it.

Derek scooted back his desk chair and got up. He walked over to his bookshelf, which was crammed with similar notebooks, and slid in his new completed work.

The door creaked open and Derek turned around to see Casey poking her head through.

"Derek time for dinner." She said. Derek took in a deep breath and silently let it out.

"I'll be there in a minute."

Casey nodded and left. Derek walked towards his door, turned, and took another glance at his bookshelf. He smiled an unsettling smile, and turned off the lights.

If I can't have her, then no one can.