Disclaimer: The character, settings, etc. belong to Mutant Enemy, etc.
Spoilers: BtVS through Chosen, Angel through Just Rewards
A/N: This story picks up where Nature of the Beast left off. If you haven't read that, it might be a good idea to read it in order to understand this one.
True Nature
Chapter 1
Wesley sat at his desk, staring at the book in front of him as if it could provide him with the answer he needed. He sighed deeply as he stared at the unassuming little book
He knew how Angel felt about Buffy, his past, and Spike. So, it wasn't really that surprising that Angel had hidden what he knew about Spike's place in Buffy's life.
It still bothered Wesley, though. Angel had known about Spike and his quest for a soul since May and had never said a word. He'd led everyone to believe that Spike was nothing more than a reluctant ally of Buffy's.
Of course, Wes knew better. He and Spike had become acquainted over the past few months as he and Fred had worked to discover how Spike came to be with them.
June 2003
"Spike, would you join me in my office?" Spike and Angel looked at Wesley with interest.
"What do you need, Wes?"
"I'd just like to speak with Spike, find out a little more about what happened. Se if we can't find a pattern, a clue, something, somewhere that might help us discover why Spike is here, why he's a ghost, and why he can't leave."
Angel looked unhappy, but Spike just shrugged. "Alright. If you really think you can suss out what happened just by picking my brain, you're welcome to try."
He followed Wesley out of Angel's office. Angel rose from his chair and started to follow them, but Wesley stopped him before he made it around the desk.
"Actually, Angel, I'd like to speak with Spike alone. I need him to try to remember details and whenever you two are together, you tend to agitate each other to the point that you forget everything else."
Angel seemed to be mildly hurt by the rebuff, but returned to his chair nonetheless. Spike smirked smugly before following Wesley down the hall.
*******************
Wesley sat behind his desk as Spike sank onto the sofa on the opposite side of the office. Spike studied the other Englishman's office. He took note of the floor to ceiling shelves covering nearly every inch of wall space, overflowing with books and papers. He could see books on the occult, demonology, Slayer lore, vampires, and dictionaries in a variety of languages, texts on various rituals and spells, and a number of other books he did not recognize.
He also noticed the personal touches; photos, souvenirs, etc. scattered among the books. He stood up and wandered around the office as Wesley rummaged around for notepaper and a pen. He saw a photo of Wesley as a young man with an older man who looked too much like Wesley to be anything other than a relative, probably his father.
Another photograph, more familiar, showed Wesley and Cordelia. He was wearing a smart suit; she was dressed in a very fetching frock. He had seen enough of the Scoobies photos over the years to recognize that it had been taken at Cordelia's senior prom. 'Buffy's senior prom' he thought. Wesley must have still been Buffy's Watcher. The last prom before Buffy and her mates blew up the old building. 'Should've left the pile of rubble where it was. Building another one on top of the Hellmouth was a bloody cock up.'
Then he saw it. He was drawn to it, like a moth to a flame. Amidst all of the books and papers sat a simple 3x5 wooden frame. Inside the frame was a picture of Buffy. It was obviously a candid shot. She was caught mid-conversation with Giles, who was also in the photograph. And, although Spike could see the worry in her eyes, she was smiling, as was Giles. They had been caught in a moment of levity and the smile on her face was genuine. Spike reached out to touch the photo, barely noticing that his hand passed through the frame.
Wesley looked up from his desk and watched the emotions play over Spike's face as he stared at the photo.
"So, what did you have?"
The quiet question seemed to startle Spike out of his reverie and he turned quickly, his hand reaching up to swipe at his eyes. "What?"
"You told Angel he could never understand what you and Buffy had. So, what did you have?"
Spike's eyes grew distant and his voice took on a tenderness that Wesley had only heard him use once before, the last time Buffy's name had been mentioned.
"You ever been in love, Wesley? I mean, really in love? Totally, completely, 'walk through the fires of hell for her because she's THE ONE' love?"
Wes shook his head. Spike smiled softly. "Well, I have. She was the one. Changed everything for her. Turned my back on who I was, changed my very nature; sacrificed myself to save the world, mostly because she's IN the world. She WAS my world."
Wes nodded as he looked at Spike, carefully weighing his words before speaking. "And, did she feel the same way?"
Spike smiled sadly. "Not quite." He turned to gaze out the window. "She had feelings for me. She was finally letting me in, breaking down some of those walls she put up after the big poof left her. And she counted on me. She knew she could rely on me to watch her back."
He shook his head. "But it wasn't just that. She let me be there for her in other ways, she leaned on me when she was hurting and she let me hold her. She trusted me. She believed in me. And she was there for me, too. She gave me reasons to trust her, to believe in her.
"I'm not sure either one of us would have made it through this past year without each other. I know for sure that I would have been dust long before the fight in the Hellmouth if it wasn't for her."
Wes cocked his head to one side as he gazed at Spike. "It sounds as if you two had a very strong relationship. It's obvious how much you love her. And, you say she didn't feel the same way, but it sounds as if you two were very close. Are you quite certain she didn't love you?"
Spike gave him a small half smile. "Well...maybe she did. Not the way I loved her, of course. Wasn't a grand passion or anything, but, yeah, there was something."
Wesley nodded, once again feeling that nagging irritation with Angel that he'd been experiencing quite a bit lately. Angel really had no right refusing to allow Buffy and Spike to have any contact, just because he disliked Spike.
"Is she the reason you got the soul?"
Spike nodded. "I hurt her. And the one thing I never wanted to do, at least since I fell in love with her, is hurt her. So, I did the only thing I could think of to make sure I don't do it again."
"You know that having a soul is not a guarantee that you will always do the right thing, right? And that many people with souls still make very poor choices and hurt people they care about."
Spike nodded. "Yeah, and I apparently went on a bit of a killin' spree even after the soul. But, I haven't consciously done anything to hurt anyone since I got the soul."
Wesley nodded and bent to write some notes on the paper he'd finally located.
As Wes wrote, Spike continued looking over Wes's belongings. He spotted another photo of Wes and the man from the first picture in a very familiar looking park.
"This Kensington Gardens?"
"What?" Wesley looked up from the notes he was writing and focused his attention on the photograph that Spike was indicating. "Yes. It is. You're familiar with it?"
"Yeah, a bit. You from Kensington?"
"No, Chelsea." Wesley looked at Spike with curiosity. "Where are you from?"
"What?"
"Well, you recognize Kensington Gardens quite easily, although according to my research you haven't been to London in decades. So, I have to wonder, are you familiar with it because you spent a great deal of time there in years past?"
Spike smiled shyly. "Alright, yeah, I'm from Kensington. Kensington Gardens was my mum's favorite park. She used to love taking her daily constitutional there."
"Really, it's my mum's favorite park, as well." Wesley smiled at Spike.
"So, this your father?" Spike pointed back at the picture.
"Yes. That picture was taken on my first day with the Council. My father and I had lunch at the park with one of our colleagues, who took the photograph."
"So, your old man's a Watcher, too?"
"Yes, it's a legacy in our family. He was quite displeased when I chose to leave the Council. Of course, if I hadn't, then I probably would have been at Council headquarters at the time of the explosion."
Spike snorted as he turned to respond. "Yeah, well the Council of Wankers never gave Buffy anything but grief..." He paused as he noticed the blue and gold mug sitting on Wesley's desk. "CFC." He sputtered. "You're a Chelsea fan?"
"Naturally." Wesley answered distractedly, as he returned to writing the notes he'd been transcribing. "I am from Chelsea after all."
Spike waved aside his argument. "Doesn't matter. Manchester United's a better club."
Wesley looked up from his notes. "You're daft. Chelsea is the superior football club."
"Bollocks. Man U is the mutt's nuts. Any ninny knows that." Spike walked around to stand in front of Wesley's desk.
Wesley stood up and pushed his chair behind him. "They've done well in the past, but they're wining streak is almost over. CFC will trounce them in their next match."
By now, both men were leaning across Wesley's desk, noses nearly touching.
"Care to wager on that?"
"Certainly, how much?...Wait a minute, you're a bloody ghost. You haven't got a pound to your name."
"I most certainly....Oh, well, we can still wager, unless you don't think your bunch of nancy's can win against a real football club?"
*******************
Wes smiled as he thought about that first meeting. Nothing had been accomplished. He and Spike had still been arguing over which football club was the best when a member of his team had interrupted with some important information about another case.
A few days later he and Spike had finally managed to sit down and talk about the battle against the First. Spike had told him in great detail about Angel's delivery of the amulet, Buffy's decision to let Spike wear it, the energy flow through the amulet which had destroyed the Turok-Han, and finally Spike's ultimate demise inside the Hellmouth.
As Wesley thought about the second vampire with a soul he'd met, he looked at the book again, and realized that there was really no question about what was the right thing to do.
He picked up the telephone and dialed the interoffice extension.
"Yeah."
"Angel, is Spike with you?"
"Yeah."
"Right here, Wes. What do you need?"
"Could you come to my office? I've just received some interesting research materials I think you may need to see."
TBC