Disclaimer: Everything that does not belong to me, belongs to Nobuhiro Watsuki and associates (Jump Comics, Shueisha Inc. etc.) Everything that does belong to me, does not belong to you.

A/N: Wow. Finally I've written chapter one. It was no easy task, starting this. I always have trouble when transitioning between fanfics. It's so weird to think that Buried Path is done and Forever Wandering is finally beginning.

A couple announcements before you go on: I recently had two very lovely drawings of Naruku done by some acquaintances (Anithene and Yukimiya.) If you'd like to see them, they can be found at my homepage, Kenshin, etc.

Also, for those of you who are familiar with the RKRC awards, it may interest you to know that I have been nominated as Author of the Year (2003-2004) and also Walking on Mirrors was nominated for Best New Character fic. See my profile for more details!

Now that that's out of the way, I hope you enjoy the very first chapter of Forever Wandering.

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-PART ONE-

Lie to me

Convince me that I've been sick forever

And all of this will make sense when I get better

--Evanescence "Breathe No More"

Chapter One

Bleed

On the ninth morning of April, 13th year of the Meiji, Megumi stood alone on a bridge overlooking crystalline waters and falling sakura blossoms. She stood and breathed in amidst the sighing spring wind and gurgling waters blow her. A scuffle of footsteps broke her silence and she looked up to see Kaoru making her way toward the older woman.

The young shihondai came to a stop beside Megumi, casting her blue eyes out toward the waters. A small laugh escaped her as she gently closed her eyes.

"What is so amusing?" Megumi probed the other woman.

"Oh, nothing," Kaoru said, revealing the vibrancy of her blue eyes once again. "I just feel like we're in Kyoto again, and you're telling me to get my act together for Kenshin's sake."

Megumi let a few moments of silence to pass before answering. "Ken-san has always been the one who brought us together. Everyone. You and I. He is what we have in common."

Kaoru tilted her head and thought about this, but did not disagree. "Megumi-san, why did you want to see me this morning?"

"How have things been going with everyone? I've been so busy lately…even Sanosuke has noticed."

Kaoru let a faint smile flit onto her lips. "It's a little crowded, but nothing we can't manage."

Megumi frowned. "Kaoru-chan, do not lie to me. You have seven people staying in a place only fit for four. As much as I don't want to bring it up, you aren't exactly the richest girl in Tokyo, either. Did you ever think your maternal instincts are getting the best of you?"

Kaoru fumed. "I didn't come here to get scolded by you," she said. "And we are doing fine, really. Soujiro-san wanted to stay at a nearby inn but…I feel that our hospitality is the least we can offer for what he did. He risked his life for us…and we barely know him at all." She bit her lip.

Megumi nodded, not wanting to press the matter. She knew that everyone was grateful to Kaoru and wanted to do what they could to help her out...but it seemed sometimes that Kaoru's kindness stretched too far. Megumi knew every time Aoshi or anyone else suggested they get on their way and leave her, Kaoru would merely refute with "Oh, don't be silly, we'll manage."

She worried but also knew it was none of her concern.

"Yahiko keeps pestering Kenshin," Kaoru said, changing the subject. "It's almost like it was when he first came here. He wants to have Kenshin train him."

"I thought he was happy learning Kamiya Kasshin," Megumi commented, surprise showing on her features. "Why would he be doing this?"

Kaoru nodded. "I don't think he thinks of it as insulting my swordsmanship. He has always wanted to be like Kenshin so much…I guess I just have to realize that that hasn't changed. Perhaps it never will."

"What about Naruku?"

The second the words were out of her mouth, Megumi regretted them. Kaoru immediately looked down, her eyes glazing over, her expression hard and impenetrable.

"I mean, what about her own training with Kenshin?" Megumi amended quietly.

Kaoru shook her head, speaking slowly. "Yahiko hasn't even though of that, I don't think. He's not trying to take her place as Kenshin's student…he is just thinking about himself and what he wants as a swordsman. Something seems to have changed, and somehow he thinks he needs to be stronger than he is. I think he needs to realize that he is a strong kid. He has already done so much. He is just as strong as Kenshin was at that age. Perhaps even more so."

"Forgive me, but all this talk of strength and swordsmanship finds me uninterested. How is Ken-san doing after what happened at Castle Edo?"

Kaoru held eye contact with the doctor as she replied. "If there is any lasting damage, I can't see it. He has no injuries, as you know. It was almost as if his battle against Enizu was simple and easy for him, if I didn't know better. But I think he's very confused right now. He doesn't really know what he should be doing after all that…and you remember what he almost did to Naruku. I think that is still haunting him at some level." She glanced at Megumi, who seemed unfazed by this.

"Did he tell you about 'Tomoe'?" Kaoru's next question came out uncertain and quiet.

Megumi nodded. "I didn't hear the entire story…but he mentioned her to me the day before Naruku woke up."

"It's surprising but…I always knew something like that haunted him," Kaoru said. "It's surprising because he didn't speak of it before. But I know he sees what happened with Enizu as related to Tomoe-san."

"That worries me. He should not be dwelling in the past, not at a time like this."

"It worries me because he didn't say a word of it to Naruku," Kaoru responded, and then backtracked to what Megumi had said. "Wait, what's 'a time like this,' Megumi-san?"

Megumi took a deep breath. "Kaoru-chan, don't you see? Things are changing. It's hard for you to admit it, but you know things aren't going to remain this way forever. People will leave, and we won't be this close forever," she said. "For goodness sake, it's nothing to cry about! It's just the way of life," she said in response to a tear that had trickled down Kaoru's cheek.

"I know," Kaoru said thickly. "But…why can't it? Stay like this, I mean."

Megumi shook her head. In some ways, Kaoru was still such a child. "If you don't know that by now, I suppose it's something you will never learn. But, just know, there will be many goodbyes in your life, and not all of them have to be sad."

April 11

Meiji 13

Every day, I see her face and it never changes. There is a scar that wasn't there before. It cuts across the outermost corner of her right eye and disappears behind unkempt hair. It is the only thing she seems to notice, that scar. Everything else is outside of her walls. I have seen her like this before. I know she has been this way, three times. But she always had something to hold on to. Now she waits on nothing, grasps nothing and has nothing to keep herself anchored. She is simply in limbo. Forever, perhaps.

But gods—how I hate seeing that face. And love it, too. It is impossible to know what she is thinking, and what will snap her out of this aimless drifting. Some days she sits outside in the courtyard, wandering around there for hours, not saying a word or responding to the things around her. Fresh blooming flowers and tweeting birds are of no concern to her. Spring, birth and life do not reach her.

It seems like that moment in the clinic was a wonderful glimpse into an ever-fleeting future. The minutes after she had woken up were incredible, but it is as if that person has ceased to exist. I only wonder what I must do to bring her back.

Naruku sat in her room, facing a rectangular mirror that lay propped against her wall. She held the gaze of her reflection, breathing carefully and methodically. She didn't know how long she had been sitting there, staring at her own forlorn image. She traced the scar across her face with two fingers. She thought that somehow, there was something on the other side of the reflective glass.

She stared hard at her face. It looked strangely warped in the mirror. She couldn't tell why, but it made her angry. She felt as though her reflection was minimizing her existence, blocking her out.

In one swift movement she struck the glass with her fist and watched as the pieces fell and shattered. It captivated her, watching each little piece of glass fall, each carrying its own part of her reflection. The skin of her neck, the corner of her eye, the tip of her finger. Each piece carried just that small piece of evidence, but it was enough to cut into her soul, to rip the flesh of her knuckle.

She saw the blood that leaked from her fist and felt the pain, but she did not react. Her eyes fell to a shard lying next to her knee. In it, she could see most of her face. She hesitantly reached out to touch it, that girl who saw her suffering. But when Naruku tried to reach out, she bled.

She watched the drops of blood fall and in some far away part of her mind, she wished she could lie to herself, that anyone would. They could tell her something was wrong with her, she was ill; she was suffering a brain malfunction. Then she could be fixed, could be taken to the doctor and sorted out and suddenly she wouldn't suffer, and she'd understand instead.

But she knew that wasn't it, that whatever was ailing her was of her own accord. She glanced at the broken remains of the mirror and there she saw her face. She studied it meticulously. It was not her, she could see the difference. But one nagging part of her wondered—who did she want to be? Herself, this despondent, bitter girl on a crash-course, or her reflection, who, in her own world, did not have to have these problems or feel this agony.

And then…Naruku took a breath and held it. She watched red drops of blood run down her fingers. Who did Kenshin want her to be?

Sano waited, along with three others, his chin tucked into his chest, his eyes closed.

The silence was all encompassing, and he felt he was back where he was a week ago, waiting on edge for Naruku to heal, to come back to them. But this time it was different. Different in a way that was frightening.

He opened one eye to scan the rest of the room. Kaoru, Aoshi and Kenshin sat in the room with him, all in similar poses, their heads down, their eyes shut.

Except for Kaoru. She was curled up on the ground, hugging herself, tears threatening to spill over her cheeks.

She was the one who had found Naruku, lying on the bedroom floor, blood covering her hands and shards of glass scattered around her. The following shriek from Kaoru had alerted everyone in the dojo of this catastrophe and not a moment was wasted in rushing Naruku to the clinic.

Now they sat in wait, like they had so many times before.

Megumi entered the room, sliding the door shut quietly behind her. Four pairs of eyes flickered open and toward the grave lady-doctor.

"Megumi-dono," Kenshin spoke in a raspy voice, his face looking panicked and impatient.

"She's okay, but…" she closed her eyes briefly. "It's not the injury that worries me, but the origin of her actions. She is awake now, but she hasn't said a word. If she does something like this again…"

"What? You mean—she wasn't trying to…to kill herself…was she?"

Megumi shook her head. "No, I don't believe Naruku was trying to take her own life. But until she starts talking to us again, she is a danger to herself. Please make sure and incident like this does not happen again."

The others all nodded, exchanging solemn expressions. Seconds later, Yahiko burst through the door, nearly knocking Megumi to the ground.

"Woah, watch it kid," Sano said as he set Megumi right.

Yahiko gave a faint nod, breathing heavily. "I heard what happened," he choked out between inhaling and exhaling. "I got over here as soon as I could. Is she okay?"

Megumi nodded, still a little unnerved by Yahiko's sudden entrance.

Yahiko sighed and threw himself onto the ground, slumping against the wall. They lapsed into silence again, unbeknownst that just on the other side of the door Naruku was crouched, clutching at the handle, her eyes wide open.

She suddenly felt a wonderful detachment from her body, as if she were someone else. Someone, perhaps sitting in that room with everyone else, worrying for the sake of her friend.

But she was that friend, and they were all worried about her. She closed her eyes and slowly shook her head. Why did she have to be that person? Why did she have to be so broken?

Her thoughts were interrupted as someone threw the door open forcefully.

Naruku sunk down against the wall, hoping she wouldn't be seen.

Out came Sano, his chin jutted out, his feet shuffling dolefully. His eyes fell on Naruku who sat curled up, hiding her head in her arms.

He wasn't sure whether to be disgusted or sympathetic, so instead he let his gaze slide right off of her as he made his way down the hall. He couldn't stand seeing her like that, seeing them all so tense and scared. He knew it was stupid, but he wished everyone could just get over it and be how they usually were. Then he wouldn't feel so cramped, so suffocated in a town that just seemed to grow smaller everyday.

Yahiko knew the moment they arrived back from the clinic that something was different. Why hadn't they all been together when Naruku had hurt herself? Why hadn't they all rushed over in one big group?

He had been at the Akabeko, where he seemed to be spending almost half his time lately. Misao and Soujiro…no one really knew where they were, but it was sad in a way that neither of them found out what had happened until Naruku and the others had arrived back home safely.

He felt that everyone was growing away from each other, the way tree roots grew out and away so they wouldn't run into each other. But was this happening to ensure everyone their own share of space and growth, or was it something else? Something that drove them apart, breaking the seams between them?

Yahiko did not like their closeness being compromised, but on the other hand, he had no way to stop it, either. What would make him feel better, more assured, was to have someone to blame it on. Naruku seemed to be the clear choice, but…no, he couldn't do that. It was no one's fault. Or, maybe, it was everyone's.

Sometimes he wondered if he was just imagining things, and if this was just another hurdle that they had yet to overcome. Maybe everything would be just how it was when it was over.

But it was hard to ignore how little attention Kaoru seemed to pay him during their practices. Was this because of Aoshi, or was it just a force of nature?

And then Yahiko noticed how much he himself seemed to shift away from the others, growing more independent, more moody. That didn't seem like something he could stop, either. It was hard to draw the line between ordinary and anomaly.

He sighed and picked up his shinai, thinking he'd head into the drill hall to do some more training. It surprised him when he entered to dojo to find someone already standing there, facing away from him and toward the name plaques that lined the walls.

It was Sano, a white bag slung over his shoulder carelessly.

"Hey," Yahiko called out. "What are you doing here?"

Sano turned. "Jou-chan took down quite a few of these," he said, motioning towards the tablets on the wall that named each Kamiya Kasshin student. "Why?"

Yahiko shrugged and walked further into the drill hall, nearing where Sano stood. "People stopped showing up. The ones who weren't really serious about kendo…good riddance, I say."

"Still, it's gotta make her a bit sad, eh?" Sano said, a lopsided smile on his face.

Yahiko shrugged once again. "I don't know. Maybe. I think most of them heard something that made them not want to come back. Like what happened before, when Kaoru first met Kenshin. They must have heard something about Enizu."

"Or maybe just realized they didn't stand a chance against Shinomori," Sano snorted.

Yahiko blinked. "What?"

Sano didn't answer. "So, who is left?"

"Well, no one has showed up in the past week. I saw Giichi-kun on the street a couple days ago. It seems like he'll be coming back. Yuki-kun always seemed to be really serious about it. I think he'll end up coming back."

Sano nodded. "Well, just make sure you keep training hard, Yahiko. One day you'll have to be teaching my kids."

"Of course I'll train hard, baka. And what makes you think you'll get kids anyway, moron? Sheesh," Yahiko scowled. But his heart felt somewhat lightened by these words.

He kept thinking about it after Sano had left and Yahiko had started up his kata. If things seemed hopeless and desperate now, maybe at some point that could change. It had in the past. It could happen again, and in the meantime, Yahiko would take everything in stride.

Bleed--end

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A/N: Like the last chapter of Buried Path, I didn't know how this chapter would end up playing out. Clearly there's a lot of foreshadowing going on here, and I can only hope I started this off so it was interesting and captivating. Please leave your comments and I will update as soon as I can!