Confused Feelings

The story is mine, the characters are not

Ruth stared miserably at the wooden deck of the ship. She couldn't believe that Fredric had left the Pirates to marry that sweet, innocent Mabel. She was just like Fredric…inexperienced in the matters of love. Ruth couldn't see what he saw in her. So she was young and beautiful now, but as Ruth knew first-hand, beauty does not last forever. But Mabel was lucky enough to have her years of youth at the same time as Fredric.

I'm twice the woman she'll ever be Ruth thought bitterly. Mabel could never love Fredric as much as I do.

Although her hearing was not as good as it could be, Ruth knew the other pirates were under the deck, laughing over her heartbreak. She had been with them for twenty-one years now and was used to all their jokes.

The Pirates were not bad people; Ruth knew they meant well. Each pirate had endured terrible heartbreak and suffering, although they never spoke about their losses to one another, they had told Ruth. She was the only one on board the ship who was not an orphan.

Ruth knew she shouldn't be thinking about these sorts of things – she was already depressed enough about losing Fredric. But the memories kept flooding…

Samuel, the pirate lieutenant, had lost his parents when their plane crashed. He was twenty-six years old when he joined the Pirates of Penzance. He had been part of the band longer than she had. And as much as she hated to admit it, Ruth loved having some one older than her on board. Samuel was almost 50 – three years older than her.

Tom's mother died giving birth to him, leaving his father to raise him and his sister. Unfortunately, his father wasn't very focused in his duties, so Tom became a bit of a wild child. When he was fifteen, his father was murdered at work. Tom joined the pirates, but no one knows what has happened to his sister. And if Tom is to be believed, he doesn't care where she is or what she's doing.

Skipping the other members of the band, whose parents died in varying tragic ways Ruth's memories turned to Pirate King.

Pirate King was an only child, which would probably explain why he thought the world revolved around him. His mother was coming to pick him up from school one day, when she was hit by a car while crossing the street. The worst part of this story was Pirate King saw this happen. He was only eight years old, and I knew he thought the world of his mother; mainly because he was her whole world. His father was a cruel man, who more or less, left Pirate King to look after himself while he went on business trips. I know he lived in a mansion, but he said he played out in the street all the time after school until his neighbour (who happened to be Samuel) forced him to go inside. I think Samuel was more of a dad to Pirate King than his real father ever was. Pirate King was twelve when he came home from school to see that his father had hung himself from the banister of the stairs.

Sometimes Ruth wondered how Pirate King could still be sane; after all, he had seen more tragedies in his twenty-two year life than most people saw in their whole lifetime. Ruth knew the saying 'bad things can either make you bitter or better' but she also knew that Pirate King had other ways of dealing with his horrific childhood. Most nights Pirate King brought a different beautiful woman to the ship, and Ruth could hear what they were doing as her room was directly underneath Pirate King's. She had to bite her tongue to stop herself yelling at him that sleeping with a different woman every night was not a good way to deal with his problems. Anyway, it seemed to work for Pirate King – even if he never saw the woman again.

Ruth sighed, shifting on the uncomfortable wooden crate.

Pirate King had agreed to let her stay with the pirate band, although Ruth was sure he had only said that out of pity for her. It was no secret that he hated her. Smiling grimly, Ruth concluded that she was probably the only woman in the world Pirate King didn't want to sleep with. She had heard him laughing about her behind her back with the other pirates, saying unkind things about her looks, age and opinions. Her hearing may not be that good, but she wasn't stupid.

He thinks I am though Ruth remembered suddenly. He had said it to her face, and although Ruth had announced (amid rude remarks) that she would rather be stabbed in the face than in the back, Pirate King often gave her reason to regret ever saying that. He's so confident Ruth smiled to herself.

Although only young, Pirate King already had enough self esteem to fill several large gymnasiums. He has reason feel so self confident… with his gorgeous blue eyes and jet black hair. She loved his sideburns, which had grown a lot since the day she first met him…almost ten years ago. He was only a child then she reminded herself firmly. And she had watched him blossom into a very handsome young man. Almost on queue, she heard him coming up onto the deck.

'Where are you going?' she asked, more gently than she had expected to.

'Out' he replied, not looking at her.

'Why?' She couldn't help admiring his good posture and how hot he looked with his shirt half un-buttoned.

'Taking advantage of being near land'

She got up from her seat on a sherry crate, half-intending to go with him…and talk to him. Find out what was on his mind…

'I don't need company' Pirate King called over his shoulder as he left the ship. Ruth stared, intrigued. He walked in such a seductive way…

And suddenly, to Ruth's dismay, she realised she didn't need Fredric anymore. She had a new, much better, guy to dream about…

To be continued…