Hello! :D This is the first of probably many crack-ish and pwp DamonxStefan fics I'll be writing :) hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Yaoi (Don't like don't read!), swearing, potential OOC-ness and brownies.

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It had just begun to rain when Stefan returned home to the Salvatore Boarding House. Surprisingly he had not seen Damon all day since… well...

'let's not get into that' Stefan thought, mental images of the dining room table having been broken in half thanks to last night's romp skittering at the edges of his mind. That alone gave him a suspicion that his older brother was up to something. As he opened the front door, his nose picked up on the smell of something rather peculiar, something he was surprised to be smelling in the abode.

It was the smell of baking.

Inhaling deeply, Stefan wandered the house but eventually ended up in the kitchen where he saw the most extraordinary sight:

Covering every surface in the kitchen were confectionaries and pastries of every manner, from the tiniest of tarts to full blown pies. Most were cooling away but Stefan could also see what appeared to be the form of brownies - and was that…gingerbread? - cooking away in the oven. Eyebrows knitting together in confusion, Stefan turned his eyes away from the psychedelic view and walked away up to his room.

No sooner had he shut his bedroom door (Which had needed replacing after Damon could not be bothered to wait for the handle to turn a few nights back) when he felt said sibling's presence enter the house. Listening closely, Stefan could not pick up any sounds of there being anyone else with him, so silently he began to venture downstairs to see what Damon was up to. What he saw though was an even more extraordinary sight.

Damon was leaning forward to check inside the oven, a pair of oven mitts covering his hands and an apron tied around his hips with a small bow at the back. Other than a pair of tight fitting black jeans, the cooking garment was the only thing he was wearing. Straightening up, the older Salvatore headed to one of the lesser covered surfaces and began to precisely lay out the brownies. Stefan fought back his laughter, but Damon had heard his brother and turned on the spot, fixing Stefan with a dangerously smooth smile that was enough to make Stefan sober up immediately. That look could only mean two things: Danger, or Damon had other things on his mind.

"Stefan, good to see you." He purred. Now that he was facing Stefan, the younger could see the apron was black. Written (And whether deliberately or not Stefan had no intention of asking) in bold white lettering on the front were the words 'Fuck the Chef'.

"Damon." It was all Stefan could do to fight back the smile at the scene before him. Waving at the entire kitchen with a sweep of his hand, he asked "What on Earth happened in here?"

By now, Damon was mixing up eggs and flour, the bowl resting in the crook of his arm as he watched his brother with that same smirk. "I got bored." Suspecting there was more to this story, Stefan rolled his eyes, folded his arms and leant against the kitchen wall.

"Damon, I know you. When you get bored-"

"I decided to check the news but when I turned the T.V on I came across the food network." Damon had begun measuring out sugar, though still watching Stefan out of the corner of his eye. "The lady on it said I should check their website for more recipes, so I did."

"And let me guess, you memorized every recipe for –"

"Everything you see here." Pausing in his work, Damon gestured with the wooden spoon at the foods for emphasis before going back to his mixing. As he shifted to place the bowl back on the counter, it was then that Stefan saw a glint appear in his brothers eyes. His own gaze trailed after the spoon again as it was brought up to Damon's lips. He found himself transfixed as he watched the other's tongue flick out slightly to snag the tiniest amount of mixture before darting away again. The owner to that accursed appendage gave a small sigh of pleasure that sent tingles up Stefan's back, finding himself unable to look away.

Flick! He did it again, and this time Stefan's posture stiffened at the sight as his brother crossed the room to stand mere feet away, tongue still licking away like... 'Of course…' Stefan thought as he felt his cheeks blush lightly. 'Only Damon could be this cunning'.

Once the spoon was completely free of mixture, Damon leant in further - making Stefan back away into the wall behind him again- tilting his head in a way that reminded Stefan of a predator about to strike.

"Something the matter Stefan?" At this proximity, Stefan could practically taste the sugar on Damon's warm breath. Like a rabbit caught in the headlights, Stefan could only watch with widened eyes as his older brother's stare raked over him looking for even the slightest trace of resistance. Finding none, and with a ghostly chuckle of a laugh, Damon finally brought their lips together with a hunger and ferocity that that had spread like a wildfire and ignited his whole body.

And wild it was. With a gasp of a moan, Stefan's body arched off the wall into the hands that were currently making short work of any item of clothing that stood in the way. Reaching up with his own hands, Stefan's fingers slid behind the all-too concealing apron to glide across the golden toned skin beneath. With a breathy moan, Damon pulled away for a second and their breaths mingled in the intimate space between them.

"Phone…" The word was less spoken, more growled and with a slightly shaking hand, Stefan reached down to answer the annoying ringing object In his pocket, tearing his gaze away from his brother that seethed at the interruption.

"Hello?"

"Stefan?" Elena's voice could be heard on the other end, and Stefan was only too well aware that his own heavy breathing was being transmitted back to her. "Stefan…are you hurt?"

"Y-yeah Elena.. I'm fine, Damon and I are just-" At this moment the phone was plucked from his grip to be held to his brother's ear.

"Cooking, actually." Damon purred down the line, though he was smirking again. Only this time the smirk was dangerous, not seductive.

"Cooking?" Elena sounded perplexed. "I never knew you liked to cook, Damon. You didn't seem the type."

"Oh really?" Damon lowered his head and silently but slowly traced his tongue over Stefan's lips, as if daring him to make a noise. "I fucking love cooking."

And with that he promptly hung up, tossing the phone behind him. Stefan opened his mouth to protest but was quickly cut off by Damon's mouth covering his once more. It had all happened under a fraction of a second but the passion and fervour in which the two melded their bodies together seemed to last hours. With a loud crash the two landed naked and sprawled on the kitchen floor, both wrestling to take lead in the carnal performance that was being played out across the cool tiles.

Beep!

Beep!

Beep!

With an enraged snarl, Damon threw his head up to glare at the oven. Beneath him, Stefan laughed in breathless chuckles.

"Fucking oven. Fucking gingerbread men" Damon growled.

"Fuck the men." Stefan murmured, thumbs circling the hips straddling his own. Turning his head slowly back to Stefan, Damon grinned darkly, though all seduction this time.

"Now why would I do that if I've got you?"

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Ta da :D Thank you for reading! :)

- Crack xxx