A/N: This is my first Southern Vampire Mysteries fanfiction, so I hope it's all right! I haven't read the eighth book yet (library doesn't carry it, so I'm waiting for paperback, sigh) but this IS set after the eighth book. I'm aware of the basic plotline, but not really the time frame. So if I do mess it up, or mix up what happened in the eighth book, don't hesitate to correct me, I'd appreciate it! Anyways, hope you like. :)
Rating: "M" for future content.
Disclaimer: "When the Day Met the Night" is a song owned by Panic! at the Disco. And the Sookie Stackhouse novels are the works of Charlaine Harris, not me! Please don't sue.
Feckless. When I peeled off yesterday's page on my word of the day calender this morning, I had been expecting a word I could use in a situation today or to describe someone. But once I read the definition, I was stunned. Feckless. Weak and ineffective. Now it's seven P.M. and I've been at work for nearly an hour and a half- on most days a time slot that would give me the opportunity to effectively use my word of the day- and I can only think of one thing to call feckless.
Myself.
It has been four weeks since everything went down at Rhodes. Four weeks since Eric confessed that he remembered everything, and told me that we would have to talk about everything. Two weeks ago he began calling me every other night or so, under the false pretense of wanting to know how my day was. After all the small talk, he would ask me the same question- "We need to have our discussion, lover. When will you be available?" And every time, I would stammer and make up an excuse about having no time.
Which, in some way, is true. Since I got back from Rhodes, I've thrown myself into work, and I haven't taken a day off. Which is great, because I do need the money, but at the same time, has been exhausting. Then again, I do have a majority of the night off, considering I've mostly been working afternoons at Merlotte's. But when I think about sitting down with Eric, rehashing his stay at my house and sorting through my feelings about him, I get panicky. Truth be told, I'm not even sure what feelings I have for him; and I'm definitely not sure that I want to try and figure them out with that particular tall, blond, and handsome Viking vampire.
Strong enough to risk my life to save his, (among the lives of a few others) but not strong enough to confront my feelings.
I, Sookie Stackhouse, am weak when it comes to confrontation. I am feckless. I quickly replaced the frown that had come along with that thought with a pleasant grin. Maybe when I get home tonight I'll look up the word again- maybe I'm using it wrong.
Though it was a Thursday night, Merlotte's was unusually busy. Considering I didn't want to think about what my mind was dwelling on, this was great for me. I took orders and smiled politely and worked my butt off. Somewhere in the back of my brain, though, my situation was nagging at me. After I brought another pitcher of beer to a group of middle aged men in my section, I found Sam and asked him if I could go out for my break. He eyed me warily, focused on my eyes for a minute or so and had me follow him into his office.
"What's this about, Sam? Did I do something wrong? I don't have to take my break right now, I can-"
Sam chuckled a little and shook his head, abruptly cutting me off. "No, Sookie, you didn't do anything wrong. To be honest, I think you need to go home."
Going home hardly seemed reasonable, and I told him so. The twinkle of amusement in his eyes faded and he took on a look of concern.
"I hate to be harsh, Sook, but this is non-negotiable. You have Saturday, Sunday, and Monday off, and you know what? Now that I've thought about it, I want you to take tomorrow off, too." He smiled and crossed his arms over his chest and I opened my mouth to protest. "No. You've been working without any time off since you got back. You need time for yourself, whether I have to force you to take it or not."
It didn't sound fair to me, him telling me what to do, but I checked myself before reminding him that I was capable of making my own decisions. Sam has been nothing but a good friend to me since day one, and it would be nice to have some time off. I could do my laundry and clean the rest of the house, a task that hasn't been done thoroughly in weeks. So instead of arguing, I sighed and reached up to make sure my ponytail was still up high.
"You're right... Thanks, Sam." He pulled me into a tight hug and left, so I got my purse and headed home.
The mood around my house was quiet, and I couldn't help but narrow my eyes in suspicion as I pulled around to the back door. Sure enough, there was Pam, sitting on my back porch, in what I like to call her "downtime." Her eyes opened when I stepped up towards the door and she rose to her feet, seemingly unsure of how to greet me.
"Hi, Pam," I offered with a quick smile before turning my attention to unlocking the door. "Would you like to come in and have a True Blood?" Without turning to look at her, I headed straight into the house and pulled a True Blood from the fridge, popped the lid off and stuck it in the microwave. Since I began to accept my association with vampires, I was being more careful about keeping a plentiful amount of the Japanese-developed synthetic blood. Once the blood was done heating I pulled it out and slid it on the table in front of Pam, not really surprised that she had sat down at my kitchen table noiselessly.
"I'm going to take a guess here and say that you were not lying about being busy," Pam said, her nose wrinkling in distaste, "I can smell the dust gathering on the table."
Leave it to Pam to make you feel good about yourself. "Yeah... I've been working a lot," I explained with a shrug of my shoulders and sat down. "What are you doing h-"
For the second time that night, I was cut off abruptly. "But not the night shift, I see. It isn't even eight yet and yet, here you are." She raised her eyebrows and I sighed, exasperated. Maybe I was just tired, but I couldn't see what she was getting at.
"Ah, yes... here I am..?" I raised an eyebrow, crossed my arms over the table and leaned towards her. She mimicked my movement smoothly, mirroring the look of confusion I'm sure I had on my face. "Like I was saying, what are you doing here?"
"For some reason, I was expecting a call from you, or even a visit. I read in Dear Abby that to gain and maintain a friendship, it is necessary to keep in contact." She looked unsure of herself as she spoke, most likely because she truly didn't know how to "maintain" a friendship. Most vampires lost their sense of humanity after a hundred years or so.
Her confession startled me, though. "Honestly, Pam, I didn't know you considered us friends. And anyways, it takes two to tango. You could have just as easily picked up the phone yourself."
Pam rolled her eyes and chuckled heartily. "Yes, Sookie, that's why I came by. I figured you weren't coming so it was time to take matters into my own hands. And as your friend, I would be honored if you would accompany me to Fangtasia tonight," she finished excitedly. Something about the way she said it made it sound fishy. I raised both my eyebrows and Pam let out a breath. "You are human, Sookie, you should be well aware that friends go out together," she accused.
"Why Fangtasia?"
"I am not a fan of your bar. You are too much of a danger magnet for me to take you elsewhere. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't keep you safe?" She grinned broadly, a grin I'm assuming meant she was proud of her humane logic.
It seemed suspicious to me, her showing up unexpected and asking me to come to Fangtasia with her. Pam looked genuine, though, and even if this was a ploy it would be nice to do something other than work. Without any further hesitation I pushed myself to my feet and gave her a weak smile. "Alright, Pam. Just let me get changed."