Sins of The High School Flesh.
Magenta Alvarado: Genius girl, cute, short, smart, a real biatch, 12 years old.
Janet Weiss: Average girly-girl, average-looking, tall and skinny, slutty, 14 years old.
Columbia Cole: Very average, loud, tall and skinny, like Janet, short pink hair, really loud, has a fear of pick-up trucks. 14 years old.
Betty Munroe: Ignorant Janet-follower. Is 5'10 and weighs 110 pounds but is still dieting. 13 years old.
Randall Alvarado: Blonde Bieber-cut, tall and anorexic-looking, disregards rules and couldn't pass for responsible if his life depended on it. 14 years old.
Brad Majors: SQUARE. Thinks he knows everything, is supposed to be dating Janet but is obsessed with Magenta. 14 years old.
Eddie Scott: Bad-ass. Nicer than he looks. Hopeless romantic. Has a motor-bike. 14 years old.
Frank Furter: Crossdresser, although he wears the boy's uniform. 14 years old.
Ralph Hapschatt: Weird. 14 years old.
Rockford Hoffman: Body-builder looking, transfer student from California.
Magenta's POV. Day One.
I skipped two grades, so I'm 12 in 9th grade. People think I'm a bitch because I'm brutally honest and I get into kick-ass fights. I'm really short, too, so people let their guards down. Yeah, I'm a bitch. And I like it.
Denton High School, September 2010.
Principal Ratishki: Welcome to High School, you little rats. I'm glad to see you're all wearing your uniforms. Except you, Alvarado.
Mrs Ratishki stares at a boy in the front row who is wearing all black.
Principal Ratishki: Anyway, you little 9th grade jerks, you will be pleased to know, will all be in the same classes, so, yes, you will be able to do your little note-passing, whispering, making-out high school dumbass type stuff.
A short girl with dark red hair in the front row raises her hand,
Ratishki: Yes, other Alvarado... As if one wasn't enough...
Magenta: I have a name, you know.
Ratishki: Yes, your last name is Alvarado. I could care less about your first.
Magenta: You're a sick woman...
Ratishki: You little tart!
Magenta: I eat butter tarts by the barrel, you old hag.
Ratishki: You should act more like a little lady, little lady.
Magenta flips Ratishki off and goes back to poking holes in the Gym floor with her earring.
Ratishki: You children sicken me...
Columbia: WELL, AREN'T WE GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER!
Betty: I wish I didn't know any of you. Oh, except you, Janet.
Janet fluffs her hair,
Janet: Betty, you don't have to kiss up to me, you know we're BFFs, would I waste a perfectly good bracelet on anyone?
Brad: Ralph, check out that chick in the front row, Randall's sister.
Ralph: Yeah, she has pretty good shins.
Brad: She's hot.
Ralph: Well, it is warm in here, and that sweater of hers looks pretty darn thick...
Brad: I'll put in terms you can understand, BRAD THINK GIRL IN FRONT PRIDDDDYYYYY.
Ralph: Are you attracted to the Alvarado girl?
Brad: NOOOO. What do you think?"
Ralph: I think high school is confusing, isn't she the really smart girl who's like, 12?
Brad: All I care about is her...
Janet punches Brad in the neck,
Janet: Are you staring at Magenta?
Ralph: It's a lovely colour that compliments most skin tones!
Brad: Who the fudge is that?
Janet: In the front row? Fluffy hair, really short, killer body?
Brad: Oh, her, yeah, she's hot.
Ralph: I believe Magenta's short stature is getting Brad excited...
Brad: Ralph, you imbicile!
Ralph: That remark, Brad Majors, was uncalled for!
Brad: I'm gonna make my move at the Beginning-Of-School Lock-In!
Janet: Why would you want to do that? She skipped two grades, SHE'S 12 YEARS OLD!
Ralph: When I was two I was still afraid of babies.
Brad: Youre' weird.
Ralph: I've been told that.
Brad takes out his phone and texts Eddie; Omg, Alvarado-girl's lookin' hot in her unifrm!
'ROTF B, tat grls liak 12 rsumthin'
'Wut, U stl liak C-lumbia?' Columbia wrenched Eddie's phone out of his hand and texted back,
'B, this is C-lumbia, I'll have you know, me and Eddie went out pretty much everyday during the summer, so you can go shave your back now.'
'C-lumbia Y U textin mee?'
'Because I am'
Ratishki: EH? WHO'S TEXTING BACK THERE?
Columbia: Brad is, sir, I mean, Ma'am.
Brad: WHAAT?
Columbia: You're screwed. oh, I'm getting a text from Magenta, Oh, hey Brad, Magenta says you're a 'gross pedo who doesn't know a damn thing about whispering to Ralph'.
Magenta: What she said!
Randall: Get your pedo-y eyes off my sister, you creep!
Magenta: THANK YOU, RANDALL!
Randall: NO FUCKING PROBLEM!
Ralph: (making an astonished face) Ooh, Randall swore!
Janet: SHUT YOUR BROCCOLI-CHUTE, RALPH!
Eddie: Broccoli-Chute, really? I thought you were a smart-ass.
Frank: That ass looks pretty damn smart to meeee...
Janet: SHUT UP, YOU!
Awkward silence until Ralph stands up and screams, SHAWTY-FIRE-BURNIN-ON-THE-DANCE-FLOOR!
Magenta: Ooh, homeroom, where people screw the the back of the class,
Betty: HaHa, LOL, you're like, so hilarious!
Janet: Betty, I thought we agreed not to talk to Magenta, she's weird.
Betty: Oh, yeah, totally, Magenta, stop being weird!
Magenta:I will when you will.
Betty: HAHA, you are SO funny!
Randall grabs Betty's ass and she whips around,
Randall: How many years of implants made that?
Betty: Longer than you've been alive! You're birthday's in JANUARY!
Ralph: hey Brad, are you gonna sit next to MAGENTA on the first day?
Brad: Mm-Hmm.
Ralph: OOH! BRAD'S GOTTA GIRLFRIEND, WHO SHOULD BE IN MIDDLE SCHOOL! HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Janet: Eddie, do you think I have nice boobs?
Eddie: Why?
Janet: Because you always lie, so if you say they're bad, I'll know they're really nice.
Eddie: What if I don't feel like lying today? They suck eggs.
Janet: YOU'RE AN EGG! I'M ASKING MAGENTA! SHE SEEMS TO KNOW ALL ABOUT CURVES!"
Magenta: Leave me the hell out of it. Go motorboat Brad, give his eyes something to look at other than my thighs.
Frank: Brad, you're welcome to look at my thighs!
Brad: you don't have any thighs.
Frank kicks Brad in the ass and Brad runs away to where Magenta is,
Brad: So, where're you gonna sit in homeroom?
Brad flattens his hair like a loser,
Magenta: Somewhere near the front. So if you make a move the teacher can see it clearly.
Brad: Yeah, this year, since there's a small class, we all have the same schedule, cool, right.
Magenta: Just great...
Brad: I like PE because I like sports, but math's kinda cool too, also science, Hey, do we get to choose our lab partners? I bet I'll have to take remedial science because I'm not so good with mixing and stuff, unless you like it... That sounded bad, ugh it's hard talking to girls who aren't head-over-heels for you, like Janet, ugh, she bugs me, so does that Columbia girl, I mean, she has to shut up! I once put a skewer through what I thought was a hard-boiled egg, but it turns out it wasn't cooked, so it went everywhere, Hey, how do you feel about deep-fried chocolate bars? They aren't very healthy, but-
Magenta: What'll it take to shut you up?
Brad: Be my girlfriend!
Magenta slaps Brad across the face and he falls over sideways, only to get hit in the head with Frank's violently swinging shoe, a few of the rhinestones come off and Frank screams in an obsessed way,
Frank: Why the hell would you do that?
Brad: I fell! It was an accident! I would punch you right now, but I can't hit girls...
Magenta: I'll be using that to my advantage...
Magenta kicks Brad,
Brad: You are a mean little girl! But so sexy...
Magenta: You're a big pig.
Brad: I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT!
Magenta: So I don't excite you?
Brad: NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
Columbia: You don't have to get so mad! She's just a little girl! God, Brad.
Magenta sticks out her bottom lip and Brad starts to vibrate,
Brad: I'm going to shove my binder up your big fat ass, Columbia...
Ratishki materializes behind Brad: What did you say?
Brad: Nothing sir-Ma'am.
Ratishki: I'm watchin' you, boy...
Columbia: He said he was gonna shove his binder up my big fat ass, I believe that's punishable, Madame Ratishki.
Ratishki: You seem like a nice enough girl, but I still don't like you, I hate everyone under the age of 18. Especially those who don't shave twice a day.
Frank: Do you even have a license to teach?
Ratishki: I'll have you know, you little ingrate-
Randall: Does it still apply if you're license is on the back of an unfolded cardboard box? Most licenses don't say 'This Side Up'...
Ratishki: You watch your mouth, you suburban RiffRaff,
Randall: Call me suburban again and I'll kick your ass, I like that last part, though...
Ratishki: You couldn't kick my ass if your pathetic life depended on it.
Randall: My nails are two centimetres long, I can claw your eyes out.
Ratishki: Tell your sister she can forget about valedictorian now!
Magenta takes a Swiss Army Knife out of her jacket pocket...
Eddie: You just spat in my eye...
The kids get into homeroom to find what looks like a dead stripper behind the desk, Magenta goes through the desk drawers and takes out a stapler, a pack of Tic Tacs, and a can of Coke Zero.
Brad: Why the hell is there a dead slut in the room?
All of a sudden the stripper pops up
Stripper: GAAHH!
and scares Brad shitless,
Brad: YOU SCARED ME!
Stripper: He he, that's right! I know, I'm Miss Ratishki! Mrs Ratishki's daughter! I was the result of a one night stand at a Sweet 16 party!
Janet: You mean Principal Ratishki was a teen mom?
Ms Ratishki: Yup, what's your point? You look like a cupcake, NEWS FLASH, Those socks aren't uniform, I may have to write you up!
Janet: I can't believe it, I haven't gotten in trouble since last week! I'm screwed! AH! I said the S-word!
Ralph, Betty and Brad jump back in shock, Magenta takes out the pin from her plaid skirt and stabs it into the wood of a desk in the front of the class,
Magenta: Alright, y'all, this is my desk, no-one else can sit here, is that clear?
Frank: No.
Frank shoves Magenta away and sits down, Magenta takes her pin out of the wood and starts to jab it into Frank's flesh,
Frank: WHAT THE HELL?
Magenta: You almost killed me.
Frank: And you almost flashed me last Christmas!
Magenta: You shut your mouth, you ripped my skirt!
Janet: Wow, an 11-year old flashing, what is happening to the innocence of the children?
Magenta: Suck an egg, Janet.
Janet: DON'T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT MY BREASTS THAT WAY, YOU LITTLE WENCH!
Betty's house after school,
Mrs Munroe: How was your first day of school, darling?
Betty: Amazing, mother! My grade has all the same classes together, Janet's there, and Columbia from volleyball, and there's this one girl, she's 12, and she's a genius, and so beautiful! And her brother looks like Justin Bieber! He's so hot!
Mrs Munroe: That sounds lovely!
Betty: The principal is INSANE! Her daughter was concieved on a pinball machine!
Mrs Munroe: You were concieved in a confessional booth, dear.
Betty: MOTHER! YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT!
Mrs Munroe: Oh, but I did...
Betty:GAAAAAHD!