January 3, 2025

She was admitted the other day. Her mother is in the kitchen making sandwiches for the trip to the hospital. The ride to Kotobuki Hospital will be an hour long, even if Dad drives us there.

I don't want to explain to the doctor what happened, though I was the only one with her at the time.I feel like I've done enough explaining to everyone else, that somebody should explain this to me! But every time I make eye contact with anyone, even Ms. Ayako, my face burns and tongues of heat criss-cross my face.

Damn, am I the only one who feels? I caused this shit, but nobody else cares?

I choke back a scream and bolt out of the house, slamming the door behind me. I can just imagine Dad, with confusion written in black marker all over his expression, and maybe Ms. Ayako's face crumpling with sadness as she finishes slicing the sandwiches. She slices them into fourths, cutting almost instinctively. After all, she made PB&J exactly like this for her daughter time and time again.

I used to nag her about the way she liked her sandwiches sliced. She said both Takeshi and her mom cut them the way she wanted, but the way I ate my sandwiches was "messing them up, losing the essence of the jelly and peanut butter." We fought for ages over that when we were younger, no older than 8. But by the time I finished up with the Shinou League and came home for a visit, we compromised both of our sandwich slices were equal in taste. I was a bit miffed that she hadn't agreed fully that my way was better, but that was a good start. We decided to sleep under the stars that night, exchanging travel stories and battle advice.

I remember bringing something up about starting over.

I remember hearing about some place called Ore, a desert region just a day's sail south of Shinou. I remember telling Hikari about it, almost hyperventilating, as it really was exciting! I remember blurting out that I would leave in a week.

I remember her tears, the ones she tried so hard to hide but were shed anyway. I remember pulling her into a bear hug, whispering nonsense into her ear.

I think I kissed her, and she kissed back.

I don't remember how long we stayed like that, but I don't remember ever leaving for Ore, either. I'm glad I didn't.

Just maybe a month later, Shinou Now! aired a 2-hour Q and A session with Ore Champion Leo about a possible lockdown and quarantine of the region. When I first saw this on TV, I didn't know what to think. Arceus knows how Hikari could have predicted something like that! But maybe it wasn't foresight, just dumb luck. Ore doesn't have contests, so maybe she was a bit sad she couldn't come with me? No, she and Mimirol were doing fashion and modeling together, so she couldn't go anywhere semi-permanently.

I open my eyes and find myself on my hands and knees, knelt at the base of a rose-bush. I look down and through blurry eyes I see small, wet circles darker than the rest of the dirt. Evidence that I am a loser. A neglected Yorterrie relying on pity to get through life.

Angrily, I sweep earth onto the feet of the bush and rip my head out of the plant, ignoring the scratches along my neck and scalp.

Suddenly, I need to see her. To thank her for saving my life the way she did.

It was almost as if she sensed the tree was weak. I didn't touch it at all, but as it came down, she shoved me of the way. The tree had still not fallen, only teetering precariously. She tried to worm her way out from the path of destruction, but she couldn't; her skirt was snagged by something on the forest floor.

I heard the sickening crack of bones and sat there in shock, before wordlessly calling out Mukuhawk. He flew towards Futaba Town immediately, not even waiting for my command.

Everything that happened since then has been a whirlwind of confusion and sadness. I don't know what I should do after I see her, stay at the hospital until she wakes up from the coma, or just... Leave?

I decide I will see her in the hospital and talk to her. I'll tell her that I love her.

I'll tell her that I'm still here, and because of that, she should still be here, too.

I'm sure anyone would agree that Hikari should stay. Even her worst enemies can see her spark, enthusiasm, emotion.

I muster the courage to walk back in and smile to Dad. Even if he won't admit it, I think he's happy to see me back. Wordlessly, we exit throught the back and I climb into the backseat of his car.

Then something hits me.

I love Hikari.

February 15, 2025

I never thought she was gonna die. Really, I just assumed that we'd all live on forever and never worry about such an immature thing as death.

But she's gone now.

Taken off her life support.

You just took off my life support.

You stupid doctor! You just killed two people!

You pulled the plug on two lives, and now you're smiling? Talking as if nothing's happened. Talking to her mother, no less?

You idiot! You killed her! You killed me!

I think I am screaming.

I really don't care! Look at me! This bastard just killed me!

Can't she see I may as well be an enpty shell?

Dead?

Well, this is my first one-shot and romance-y fic. Thanks for reading (or enduring) this and hit that review button so I can see how good (or bad) I was at my first attempt at LUUUHRVE.

-MSD