Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own the Private series, Kate Brian does

Previously in Paradise Lost:

The last thing I heard before I hit the cold dark water was the sound of gleeful cheering as someone at the tables won big.

Chapter 1

The water was cold. That was all I could think. I couldn't think about Upton, or Josh or whoever had pushed me in. All I could think about was the cold dark water that had already soaked me and my dress. I decided as much as it pained me to do so that I and to ditch the dress. It was weighing me down, and I might never make it to the shore with it on. I quickly and roughly undid my dress and left it to hopefully eventually float back to shore. I struggled against the undertow. Lucky for me it was a calm night, so I was able to make slow progress toward the shore. But I had to start moving quicker. At this rate it could take hours before I reached the shore, and I was certain that I would never reach the yacht. I continued swimming though I knew my attempts were hopeless. I would never reach the shore alive. Maybe I was tornado Reed, now I would leave no more destruction in my wake. Well at least no one else would have to suffer because of me if I did die. Many times I considered giving up, but then I would remember Upton, and how much pain it would cause him if I died. Then I would remember Josh, who had never called me, to tell me about Ivy or to even say Merry Christmas! Then I would consider giving up all over again because, as much as I loved Upton, I was still madly in love with Josh.

I was sick of living like this. This tiresome life. Always with someone sneaking up on me, trying to kill me. I wished one of them would just do it already. But no that would be too easy for Reed. I needed to suffer! I let my arms and legs go limp. Deciding it wasn't worth it anymore. But of course the tide was cooperating now. I wished it would just pull me out to sea.

Then Upton's smiling face flashed across my mind's eye. Urging me to go on. I was anxious to see him again. I paddled with more and more effort but I still didn't make much progress. It would still be an hour until I reached shore, if I made it that far.

I was barley moving now, but I couldn't let Upton suffer, not over me. I began thinking me time was up the first time, with Ariana. I mean this is three times now! Three freaking times! I really wanted to give up. But I was only 5 minutes from shore. Much to close to give up. Those last 5 minutes were the longest of my life! When I finally made it to the shore, I blacked out.

Chapter 2

I slowly slipped into a conscious state I realized I was on something warm and hard. I forced my eyes open. I definitely wasn't in Noelle's beach house in St. Barts, nor was I in Billings. Then I realized I couldn't move! So I did the normal thing, one would do in this situation. I screamed. I guess that was the wrong thing to do. Because in rushed three nurses, Noelle, Upton and Kiran. When they all realized I was ok, just spooked they all relaxed. Then Noelle, Upton, and Kiran all came up to hug me. It felt good to have them all around me again.

"Reed," Noelle of course was the first to speak "I know this is confusing but you're in the hospital. We found you unconscious half-naked and bruised on the shore!"

"Noelle I'm so, so sorry! Did you get your necklace back?"

"Reed that is the last thing on my mind, but yes I did. More importantly you're okay, well mostly."

Kiran then interrupted our little moment "Reed, there's someone here that would like to talk to you" then with that all of them left. And another person walked in. He was the only person I wanted to see right now. The only person I had been waiting all vacation to see. It was Josh! He did actually care about me! Maybe all that time spent swimming wasn't a waste because here he was, beautiful, but worried. I wanted to jump up and hug him and tell him everything was okay, that I was fine. But I knew I couldn't do that. "Oh My God Reed!" Josh looked frantic

"No Josh really I'm…" I never got to finish my sentence because he interrupted me

"Reed don't you dare tell me you're fine! Look at you! Just look at you!"

"But Josh really you didn't have to leave Paris for me I'll be fine" I tried to convince him I was fine without him, but I wasn't. Since Ivy had made a speedy recovery they had left for Paris a few days ago. "The truth is Reed," he paused taking a deep breath "I didn't go to Paris. I didn't want to, but I broke up with Ivy. But the best part was, she was okay with it! She said she could tell I still had feelings for you, and I do. I think she and Gage got back together. I've been thinking of the best time to tell you. I was going to wait until after break but then Noelle called me. Reed you need to know, I still love you, I don't think I ever stopped."

"Oh Josh I've always loved you! I'm so sorry about the whole Dash thing."

"I know Reed it wasn't your fault, it was Sabine, all of this it was her."

"Josh, what happened how did they find me?" I knew he wasn't the best person to ask but I really, really didn't want him to leave.

"Well, all Noelle told me was that they found you half naked lying on the beach nearly dead!" Wow it was worse than I thought it was "So why don't you tell me?"

"I told him everything I remembered… from the musky scent, to making it the shore but before I could tell him how I had collapsed from exhaustion, he kissed me, fully and passionately. Then my world turned upside down, Upton walked in, in the middle of our kiss. I prepared myself for the worst that I knew was coming. But, to my surprise neither Upton nor Josh got violent. All Upton said was "Yo! Dude who do you think you are kissing my girlfriend? Reed! Do you want me to take care of him?"

"No!" I tried to shout but it was a barely audible whisper

"Reed, who is this guy?" Josh asked me

"Josh um this is Upton my, um boyfriend." I said embarrassed.

"Ohh." Was all Josh replied. Obviously disappointed

"Um, Upton," I took a deep breath; afraid of where this would go "this is Josh my old boyfriend from Easton. And I'm sorry Josh could you just give me and Upton a moment alone?"

"Yeah absolutely" Josh replied looking like he was on the verge of tears.

"Upton, I'm really sorry but," I paused knowing he knew what was coming next "we're over. I like you, I really do but I've been I love with Josh for so much longer, I'm sorry."

"Yeah I guessed as much when I saw you two kissing. I guess I should go." I could tell he was broken hearted

"No Upton, don't go. I'm really sorry." I told him, half heartedly knowing he would leave anyway.

"No I have to go talk to that Josh kid." Upton told me.

"Fine. But come in here to talk." I had a feeling violence would be involved if I wasn't there.

"No Reed. I'm pretty sure you won't want to hear this." He had his mind made up until he saw the sad look I put on my face "Fine, we'll do it in here, but you won't like it."

Upton walked briskly out of the room. I just hoped that Upton understood what was going on between Josh and me.

It took a surprisingly long time for Josh and Upton to return to my room. They both seemed uncomfortable. And then the yelling started.

"How can you just come waltzing in here, sealing my girlfriend from me?" Upton was right. I didn't want to hear this, but I needed to be here to try and prevent violence between two of the most important people in my life. Josh was obviously very mad. I had rarely heard him yell but today he was so mad it seemed all he could do was yell at Upton.

"I've loved her for years! You have no idea what we've been through!" Josh would probably get violent soon. I tried to yell at them to stop but it came as a whisper that couldn't be heard over Upton's reply. "You say you're in love with her! Where have you been for the past week and a half?" That was where the first punch was thrown. Well the first two. At almost the exact same time, both Josh and Upton started throwing punches. I tried to yell at them but my voice was only a hoarse whisper. "How could you let this happen to her!?" Josh kept yelling. And every time Upton would reply "Yeah and where were you… oh yeah with your girlfriend!" Josh would start fighting harder then. Luckily just as I thought one of them was going to pass out, a nurse walked in to check on me. She pushed the call button and 3 large male nurses walked in to break up the fight. Josh and Upton tried to fight but gave up when the nurses started yelling at them for scaring me.