Title: Betrayal

Summary: Jim's thoughts during The Sentinel By Blair Sandburg

Disclaimer: I don't own them, although I sure wish I did!

Betrayal. The pain and anger ignited when the media blitz began. He was infuriated by the fact that he could no longer even walk to his truck without microphones, cameras and flashbulbs in his face. He wasn't surprised, though. He had been waiting for this moment. All throughout their time together he had known that Blair would eventually do something like this. Something to betray him. Everyone did eventually. He avoided Blair's pain-filled eyes when the younger man tried to claim innocence. He
didn't want to hear it.

The flames were fanned when the continued presence of the media caused him to lose the Iceman in the crowd. They had been so close, and now the dangerous hit man was still on the loose, knowing they were aware of his presence. He avoided Blair's tormented eyes. He didn't want to waste one
moment of pity or sympathy for the way his soon-to-be ex-partner was feeling.

The fire raged hotter when Simon and Megan were shot. If Blair hadn't betrayed him, hadn't outed him to the press, the Iceman would have been behind bars. Now two of his closest friends were in the hospital fighting for their lives. Although he was terrified that he would lose them, in a way he was relieved that things had finally come to a head with Blair. He had known all along that something like this had to happen. It always did. He avoided the anguish in Blair's eyes when the observer offered to do what he could to help.

When they told him that Blair was on television, he didn't want to watch. He didn't want to see Blair accept the fame and accolades that he would get. But he couldn't help himself. He felt drawn to the television with morbid curiosity. But something had changed. This time he couldn't avoid Blair's
downcast eyes. He couldn't help but see the misery in the younger man's face. And it made him think.

It reminded him of the young man who had given up time and energy to help a friend. It reminded him of Blair defying his only family member's wishes in working with the "pigs", as she so poetically had put it. It reminded him of how Blair had put aside his own revulsion for violence to help someone who needed him. How many times had Blair been shot, drugged, kidnapped or even drowned, and yet he still kept coming back. Each time, Jim had expected him to leave, but he hadn't. He had dealt with the increasing nightmares and the health problems and doggedly stuck with Jim, determined to help him. He had put Jim ahead of his own pursuits, ahead of his precious schooling and even his other friends, until there was little left of the Blair Jim had met five years ago.

And now, in one final act, Blair had sacrificed the rest of himself - his career, his integrity and his reputation - to put right what had never been his fault to begin with. He had claimed his whole thesis had been a lie. No school would ever hire a self-proclaimed fraud as a professor. Everything he had ever worked for was gone to save Jim. To save a man who had spent the past five years waiting for the knife in his back, waiting for him to betray him.

And suddenly, with sickening clarity Jim understood. The betrayal had never
been Blair's, it had been his.

Finis