p style="text-align: left;"Jesus was on the internet one day. He decided to go on club penguin. It was a beautiful world with incredible users; a sort of utopian paragon of the more innocent side of the world wide web. He started to chat with the fellow users, and in becoming more proficient with the site, frequented it for a number of hours daily. Jesus was deeply and seriously debating spending his saved allowance on a yearly membership for Club Penguin, since he wanted to expand his puffle collection beyond the common garden variety red and blue ones. They were all so cute and lively; so innocent and pure, unscathed by the many toils of humanity's perfunctory existence. Jesus struggles with a serious addiction to methamphetamine. /p