Author's Notes: Hey kiddies! (Sorry if that's weird, I do that on habit.) You guessed it, more Bleach. Noi' and Nel return for another glorious story! "Antics of Annoyance," is a little more actiony (not to mention bloody) than, "Moonlight Madness," but still has some NnoitraxNeliel content and a touching ending as well as the blood pumping action! So I'll stop talking so you can get on with the reading, and for my hopes, the enjoying of, "Fun with Noi' and Nel: Antics of Annoyance!" by FMASTA9. BTW: Rated M for Graphic, tch, Graphic, I mean vivid...gruesome sounding words and naughty language, curtosy of Noi' of course! And a little spankiing action. (Sorry x, spankings as good as it gets this time!) CARRY ON!
Fun with Noi' and Nel: Antics of Annoyance
On this particular day, Nel goes off on her own into the forest of the Menos Grande in search of a rare spice for dinner that evening. Within an hour's walk, she confronted a horde of Gillian. Having not noticed her at first, Nel thought she was home free, but a loud voice rang throughout the forest. "An Intruder! And an espada at
that! Gillians, turn and fire!" The Gillians snapped to life, turned, charged, and fired their ceros at Nel. Quick to react, Nel sonido'd out of danger, while at the same time searching for the source of the voice that controlled the Gillian. Her eyes caught him. It was a Vasto Lordes class hollow from the looks of him; however, the
spiritual pressure he gave off was insignificant to his form. He might as well have been an Adjuchas. "So, you dodged it all, eh?" "What's your problem? Don't you respect your superiors?" "Sure I do, but seeing as how I don't see you as my superior, I don't feel I should respect you. However, even if you were, you're so damn
annoying, I wouldn't respect you if I wanted too!" "Why does that sound familiar," Nel groaned. "Now quit being such an annoyance and die! Fire!" The Gillians fired again. Nel chose to counter this time, using her cero doble. Swallowing all the ceros, she then fired them all back in full at the Gillian. The Gillian howled, several
falling to the floor lifeless. "Forgive me." Nel turned to walk away. "Where do you think you're going? Get up you worthless Gillians!" The fallen Gillians growled and got to their feet as fast as they could. Nel scowled at the hollow's rash and cruel command of the Gillian. "I admit, that was a pretty neat trick, espada, but it makes
you that much more annoying to me! Now you've gone and pissed me off!" "Get lost would you?" "Oh no, you're far too annoying to leave alive. I'm afraid the only way your leaving is as a lifeless corpse! Fire again!" The Gillians followed again, charging and firing at Nel without remorse. Nel swallowed them all and fired them
into the sky, wanting to injure the Gillian no more. Swallowing all those ceros exhausted her the first time, the second time put so much strain on her, she thought she'd pass out right then and there. Nel persevered, however, and stood her ground breathing heavily. "Again? Oh, but it looks like your tired, espada! What's
wrong, can't handle all these ceros? Hahahahahaha! Some espada, how pathetic!" Nel coughed with fatigue. Using the cero doble twice with so many ceros drained her to the point of not being able to fight back. The next move they made would likely be here undoing. She had to flee. Turning to run, she found herself
surrounded by Gillian's feet. Turning to another direction, a Gillian fired another cero, which barely missed her. The resulting explosion sent Nel stumbling to the ground. She heard a crack and felt immense pain in her ankle. Struggling to get up, she found that there didn't seem to be an opening anywhere. She was trapped. The
Vasto Lordes floated down from his high position, floating just above the battleground. "How about this espada, you've driven me mad with your annoyance, yet I still feel some mercy. Strange, I know, but I've decided to eradicate you once and for all from this world with my own cero!" Nel's expression turned to shock as she
felt his spiritual pressure rise dramatically. 'He was hiding it! Damn!' "It has a pretty big blast radius and is known to leave no survivors, however, since there were no survivors, I never really found out whether the experience of eradication was painful or not, but who knows, maybe I'll get lucky WITH YOU!" The Vasto Lordes
opened his jaws, revealing the flare-like charge of his yellow cero. An attempt at cero doble again with a regular cero would destroy her, but his was out of the question. So this was it. She was to die here. She had no regrets, and she would die standing proud. Nel felt a tear forming in her eye. She embraced for impact. "DIE!"
The Vasto Lordes launched his immense cero. The flash blinded Nel, but not before she saw a familiar shadow stand before her. An explosion erupted all around her. Then there was silence. "You are so damn annoying," a familiar voice called out to her. Nel opened her eyes in surprise of still being alive. She beheld the sight of
someone she knew all too well. "Nnoitra?" "Yeah, it's me." "What are you doing here?" "Saving your ass, what does it look like?" "I don't need saving from the likes of you." "Like Hell you don't, using your cero doble twice in one fight, as crazy as that sounds, put so much strain on you, you can barely stand up, let alone defend
yourself." "Why are you helping me, I thought you hated my guts?" "You ungrateful little brat, it's because you're my annoyance and my annoyance alone." Nel gasped at his words. To her, they sounded kind, and weren't like anything she ever heard him say to her before. "Now sit down and shut up, this will be over before you
can say, 'thanks for saving my ass, Nnoitra', which I doubt you'll ever say anyway." Nel dropped to the ground as she was told and held her injured ankle. "What? Just who the hell are you?" Nnoitra stuck out his tongue, revealing the emblazoned eight. "Another espada, huh? You cockroaches annoy me so much, I'll just have
to finish you both off at once!" "Shut up, you weakling, who cares for what you have to say! I am Nnoitra Jiruga, the strongest of the espada, so up yours bitch!" Nnoitra picked his nose and flipped him off. "Why you impudent insect! I'll crush you-GAH!" Nnoitra's gigantic blade met with the Vasto Lordes' gut, sending him
crashing to the ground. "Don't you ever call me an insect, you low level trash!" Nnoitra walked over to the grounded hollow in a slow, eerie fashion, a mixture of rage and joy in his face. The Vasto Lordes struggled on the ground, doing his best to remove the large blade from his gut to no avail. It was stuck in there pretty tight,
almost as if it was the only thing keeping him in one piece. Nnoitra came to a stop, stomping his booted heel on the Vasto Lordes' leg, crushing it. "Huh, I guess I need to work on my toss, that move should have split you clean in half." "You scum, I am the master of these woods! All the Menos here are under my control and
obey my orders! For instance…Gillians, attack!" The Gillians looked to each other, growling in uncertainty. "You damned brainless beasts, I SAID ATTACK!" The Menos charged at Nnoitra, aiming to crush him with their claws. Nnoitra took the hilt of his blade and put a booted heel on the Vasto Lordes' chest, and with a yank,
separated his sword from the Vasto Lordes' carcass. Blood splashed across the ground, the Vasto Lordes howling in pain. Nnoitra jumped into the air, swinging his sword around his head in a helicopter fashion. The Menos unfortunate enough to be too close got grinded to pieces when they came into contact with the large rotating
death trap. The Menos smart enough to keep their distance froze with fear. Nnoitra gave a tug to the chain, halting the swords motion. Surprisingly, the momentum of the sword transferred to Nnoitra, sending him in a rapid 360. Sticking out his tongue, he charged his yellow cero and fired in a spiral of yellow destruction and
demise. The rest of the Gillian perished in a sizzling yellow blaze. "Wha-NO!" The Vasto Lordes yelled at the horrors he beheld to his Gillians. Looking up, he beheld Nnoitra's blade zooming to earth in his exact spot. In a struggle, he tried to move, but his wounds were too severe. "AAAAAAAAHHHHH!" The blade made contact with
the ground. Opening his eyes, the Vasto Lordes was shocked to see the blade imbedded the earth precisely on both sides of his neck. There was enough space for him to slip under it. In an instant, Nnoitra followed his blade's course, landing both boots on the sides of his vertical blade, causing it to sink further into the ground at
his added weight. There was no longer enough space for the Vasto Lordes to slip through now. "Guh!" Nnoitra stood slowly. He slapped a free hand to his forehead. "Ugh, that made me dizzy, I won't be doing that crazy move again any time soon." "You-!" "Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Still alive are we? I figured you already bled to
death, but this way is much more fun!" "You bastard! I'll-" "You'll what? Don't you realize…you're already dead?" "What?" "You see, at this point, if I left you like this, you'd probably bleed to death within a few hours and become a snack for some hollow lower than either of us. However, because you happened to be so rude to
both of us espada, your crime is punishable by instant, painful death, which I plan to carry out right now!" "!" "You see, a lowly hollow like you respects your superiors mainly because of the sole factor of we, the Espada, are stronger than you, Menos. To you, any one of us is your own personal judge, jury, and executioner, and
since you crossed the line, the pleasure of said duty happens to fall upon on me! And if you truly knew me, you'd know I take so much pride in the last part…" "P-please, forgive me! I swear I'll apologize; I'll never do it again-" "Remember my name in Hell Vasto Lordes…" "WAIT!" "IT'S NNOI-," Nnoitra jumped up and landed on
his blade forcefully, sending it further into the ground, "-TORA," again, a sickening crack of the blade coming into contact with the hollows throat, "JIRUGA!" One more forceful stomp and the Vasto Lordes head shot off and smacked into a nearby tree, sliding to the ground, leaving a bloody trail of it's demise. Nnoitra took some
heavy, crazed breaths, before stepping off his sword, unearthing it, and slinging it over his shoulder, fresh blood still dripping from its edge. He spit on the headless corpse, turned, and walked away towards Nel, who sat in the same spot, eyes closed in attempt to block the vision of Nnoitra's sadistic execution ritual from her mind.
"Well what are you just sitting there for? Are you asleep? Hello?" He went to give her a light kick but stopped when Nel threw up her hand. "That won't be necessary." "Then answer me the next time I ask you a question." "Thank you…" "Huh? What was that?" "Thank you, Nnoitra." "Look at that, you're already starting to
annoy me." Nnoitra turned to leave, walking away fro the dispirited Nel. Was she really so annoying? She wasn't trying to be. She just wanted to thank him for saving her, but she knew not how to display her gratitude to him, as she rarely ever thanked him, let alone anybody. The fact saddened her. Nnoitra halted. "Hey, brat…
are you coming or not?" "What do you mean?" "Are you deaf? I asked you if you're going to get off your lazy ass and follow me." "Why, I thought I only annoyed you." Nnoitra scoffed and slapped his forehead. He walked over to her. "I find it annoying when I save the asses of ungrateful subordinates!" "Who are you calling
subordinate? Besides, I said thank you!" "You're being annoying again! Do you want me to leave you in this forest?" Nel paused. "No," she spoke with guilt, looking away from him. He scoffed. "I just want to go ho-ah!" Nnoitra cut her off as he slung her over his shoulder. "I also find it annoying when you don't tell me you
injured your leg as a reason for not following me." "I'm not injured-ow!" Nnoitra poked her ankle, causing her to wince in pain. "I hate it when you lie too!" "Nnoitra, why are you such an annoying little brat?" "For your information, I'm bigger than you, princess." "You're still a brat!" "If I'm a brat, what does that make you?"
"Shut up!" Nnoitra gave her a swift spank on the butt with his free hand. Nel squeaked and blushed. "What was that for?" "For being ungrateful again!" "I am not ungra-fuh!" Nnoitra shoved a bread roll in her mouth. Nel blinked in surprise. "Silence is appreciated around here Nel, it is home to hundreds of native hollow who
need their naptime too. And that's another thank you for sharing my lunch, so stop being annoying." "Mrf!" "Yeah, yeah." Nel grumbled as Nnoitra carried them out of the dark forest. 'He's so annoying, it's the reason I don't let him save me. EVER!' Spank! "Ow, what'd I do now?" "Stop thinking mean thoughts about me, or I'll
leave you stranded in this desert instead." "But I wasn't-" "You're lying to me again!" Nnoitra gave her another swift spank. "Ouch, damn it, Nnoitra, how can you tell?" "Your stomach gets warm and your arms shiver when you think ill of somebody, I've noticed that much in the time we've known each other." Nel blushed. She
didn't even know that. "I'm sorry Nnoitra, I should really be thanking you again." 'Oh shut up, thanking me three times is too many, blah, blah, blah,' Nel thought of Nnoitra's response. "Don't mention it." Nel's doubt bubble popped at those words reaching her ears. Not what she expected. Nel smiled and relaxed on Nnoitra's
shoulder. Nnoitra looked to her behind his eye patch. In a flash, his sword fell to the ground, dragging by the chain in the sand behind him. He grabbed Nel and threw her on his back, embracing her thighs and hunching over for her to rest her head. Nel could not believe this. "Who are you and what have you done with Nnoitra?"
"Shut up you brat, I figure if I have to carry you all the way home, you might as well be comfortable." "Since when do you care about my comfort?" "I don't" "Uhuh." Nnoitra scowled, tightened his grip, and stood up straight, causing her to fall backwards and hang upside down as he walked. "Nnoitra, I'm kidding, pull me up,
pull me up!" "Ungrateful girl." Nnoitra threw her back onto his back. "Thank you again." "I said don't mention it." They walked towards the far off castle, the forever-unmoving crescent moon shining on them as they made their way home.