For all this trouble I've gone through, and the fact that it's 90 degrees out in the middle of a late night thunderstorm, I think everyone should give me nice long reviews . They will be greatly appreciated.
Chapter 1: "Jonah"
I don't remember a time before the mines, really. I know there is something there, but I just can't find it. People tell me none of us remember. Now it's just working and steam and heat and food and…and Therra. She's always there with her wide intelligent eyes and eager smile that shines any time one of her ideas works. I don't remember meeting her, but I know she's been my friend for a long time. There's nothing I would trade her comforting presence for, nothing. There's nothing I wouldn't defend her against, either. Night sickness, the other men who I see looking at her…nothing I wouldn't protect her from.
And now Carlin is talking about this whole SG-1 business and Therra and I are forced to risk our rations every other night to meet with him. As if things weren't bad enough. I'm still not sure if I believe what Tor said, it all seems so ridiculous.
Therra and I are sitting off in some forgotten corner, now, neither of us having any desire to sleep, both of us lost in our own thoughts. Our backs are against one damp wall and a huge tank hides us from view. Therra's head rests on my shoulder. I like it when she does that, it reminds me that it is still possible to be human, even down here.
"You said you remember feelings," she says quietly after a while.
I nod slowly. "Yeah. If Tor was telling the truth…I don't know what we were when we were part of 'SG-1' but I know we were close, you and I."
Therra looks up at me. "That's good."
"Yeah." I watch her for a moment, neither of us saying anything. It's rare to have any time alone, or to find some spot where you won't be disturbed. That makes every moment we are alone all the more precious.
I think it's been ages since I last kissed a woman. With all this physical labor to tire me out, sex is usually something reserved only for dreams. But Therra's lips are so soft and warm and real…I pull her a little deeper into the alcove, a little closer to me. She doesn't protest as I find the closure of her tunic and slip it off over her shoulders so that I can kiss along her collarbone and the soft curves of her breasts.
Therra's running her fingers through my hair and letting out little moans that only increase the heat that's burning in my gut. We both smell like sweat and engines and steam, but I don't give a fuck right now, it's been so long since I last held a woman in my arms and Therra's so damn beautiful, even with her roughly cut hair and the dirt smudging her face.
Carter…
The name pops into my head as I gaze down at her. For a moment I'm so stunned by the randomness of it all that the only thing I seem capable of doing is staring.
"Jonah?" Her blue eyes are wide, obviously worried that she's done something wrong.
I lean down and kiss her again, reassuring, conveying. She pushes my shirt off and run her hands over my body, well muscled from years of working in the mines. Or at least, that's what I think it's from.
It may have been years since I last had a woman, but I still remember what to do, still remember how to touch, how to love this beautiful person in my arms. And when I finally sink into her and the real passions start flowing I have to clamp one hand over Therra's mouth to keep her from crying out too loudly and giving us away.
I have to muffle my own cries in her shoulder as her legs wrap around my waist, pulling my body closer to hers as our hips work against each other, short thrusts growing faster, harder, deeper. A burst of air from somewhere suddenly blows over my arching back, cooling my skin. I can feel Therra clench around me.
"Ohhh Carter…." I'm glad my mouth is still pressed against her shoulder, because I don't know why I said that. I'm worried she would think I'm saying the name of some other woman, when I'm so sure that is her name that I'm saying. Maybe it's her last name. After all, I've only ever called her 'Therra'.
It's over too soon. Too soon is Therra pulling her tunic back on and re-fastening it, looking at me with soft eyes and her sweet smile that I soon cover with a kiss. Then its back to bed with us and when I dream it's not of puddles of shimmering water or of mining naked.
There's a commotion the next day. I round a bend into one of the larger open rooms to see that everyone has stopped what they're doing and is standing around open mouthed.
Therra's laying sprawled on her back, eyes closed and a thin trickle of blood running out of the corner of her mouth. Without thinking I'm rushing to her side, feeling for a pulse then trying to revive her. I look up to see Kegan standing there, her hand still balled into a fist and her face twisted in a sneer.
Therra's eyes open and she sits bolt up right, a moment later leaping to her feet. I stand as well, putting a hand on her arm.
"What happened?!"
Both women look at me and when Therra opens her mouth I can see the blood on her lips and teeth. But it's Kegan who speaks, her tone spiteful as ever.
"Little bitch thinks she's better than the rest of us. Don't you? Don't you, Therra?"
Therra shakes her head, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand. "I don't…"
"Then why are you sucking up to Brenna every day?!" Kegan steps forward and I move protectively closer to Therra. This only causes Kegan to glare at me. "Stop protecting her, Jonah, you're almost as bad as she is!"
While I'm distracted by this last comment Kegan lunges forward and punches Therra again, causing her to stumble back. Then Tor appears out of no where with Carlin and they pull Kegan away to calm her down. People hurry back to their tasks and I pull Therra into my arms, trying to comfort her and wipe the blood away.
"What happened?" I ask soothingly.
Therra sniffs. "She just came at me…I don't know why…accused me of corrupting Carlin or something."
"You? Corrupting Carlin?" I raise my eyebrows and try to cheer Therra up. "I'm the only one you're corrupting, sweetheart."
Therra blinks at me and slowly wipes away some blood with her thumb.
"What?" I shrug. "It's a saying, isn't it?"
I wish that Kegan was the worst thing I had to worry about happening to Therra. It's hard, living here beneath the surface. The ratio of men to women is definitely not equal and since men are generally more suited to physical labor (don't let Therra hear me saying that, though, she'd argue otherwise) it seems like they're the ones that tend to be more plentiful. And not all of them are as nice as Carlin and myself.
At night I don't worry. Therra huddles together with the other women and they do a good job of protecting themselves. It's during the day, when Therra goes off to one of the darker sectors to fix some machine that I feel the need to trail behind her and keep an eye on her. Too often have I seen girls come crawling out of the dark corners, looking broken after an encounter with one of the more forceful men.
I know Brenna tries to stop this, but she doesn't have eyes everywhere. It's what happens when people get thrown together in a pit.
I'm so tired. It's the end of a long day and I can feel the sweat pouring down my face. I'm sitting slumped against the wall with my food bowl in my hands, and I barely notice when Therra wanders by, a distracted look on her face.
Moments later I'm on my feet and following her. For a few minutes I'm thinking that she can fend for herself and all my worries were unwarranted. Then someone grabs her, a thick arm closing around her waist and a huge hand clamping down over her mouth.
I break into a run.
It's one of the men who has muscles to rival even Tor's. He has a hungry sort of animal look in his eyes as he swings Therra around and pushes her against the wall. She flails and tries to kick him.
"Hey!" I shout, coming to a halt. A look of relief sweeps over Therra's face.
The man turns to look at me, sneering. His eyes are small and beady, dark as the coal that some of us have to shovel.
"What?" he snarls, turning to face me but keeping one hand on Therra's chest, pinning her like a butterfly to the wall.
Pinning her like a butterfly? That's just an expression, I think.
"Let her go, she's mine." I reply calmly, catching the faint flash of fury in Therra's eyes. Therra belongs to no one.
The man turns around to look at Therra as though seeking confirmation. I take this opportunity and grab a shovel, smashing it into the back of his head. The great brute falls in a heap to the ground and I grab Therra, pulling her back to the others, pulling her back to safety.
We make love again that night, in the little alcove like last time. There's more passion this time, I can sense it in the way Therra rides me, biting her own tongue to keep from crying out and one of her slender, calloused hands pressed over my mouth. There's need here as well, need to know that we belong to each other and no one else can have us.
She comes with a stifled moan that only I can hear and that only I should ever hear.
The time it's taking us to remember whatever Carlin thinks we should be remembering is growing to be too long. Kegan doesn't give up, either, but this time Therra seems ready. This time I find them both on their feet, clawing and punching. When I pull Therra away I'm satisfied to see a scratch down Kegan's cheek.
"That's right, Jonah!" Kegan shouts. "Take her away. Take your little whore away! Watch out though, she might be sleeping with Brenna to try and get what she wants."
Therra wrenches free of my grasp and hurls herself at Kegan again. This time it's Carlin who steps in and pulls the girls apart, then to my surprise he slaps Therra across the face. Stunned, she steps back, shocked by his action rather than the pain.
"What was that?!" I roar, striding forward.
Carlin's eyes are wide. "I…I…" he's stammering. "I don't know…Therra, I didn't mean –"
"Don't apologize to her!" Kegan has his arm in a vise like grip. "Let's go, Carlin." Carlin gives me a meaningful look as he's dragged away and I know that he's still the same man. A little crazier, but still the same man.
I can't pin point the exact moment when I remembered who I really was. It was some time in Brenna's office after Tor…no, Teal'c…had been brought in. It all came back, a slow trickle at first like water seeping through a crack in a wall, and then suddenly a torrent of information to stack on top of Jonah's experiences. So many things were chasing themselves around in my head but I had pressing matters to deal with.
Like getting the hell back to the SGC.
Things went smoothly after Teal'c woke up. I know some of the people we've met in these past couple weeks will be sorry to see us go, even if they are getting a new home. Kegan isn't one of them. I didn't miss the look of contempt she shot Carter as she and her people stepped out of the gate and into the SGC.
Finally the mess is cleared up, our consciousnesses are restored, the people safely on their new homes, and Hammond calls for a debriefing. Perhaps it's just me being happy to be home, but I find myself up there ten minutes early.
Carter, of course, is already sitting a the table with a cup of coffee and her laptop, working on the mission report. I hope she's not putting in everything that happened.
I clear my throat. "Carter."
"You're early, sir," she says, looking up at me.
"Yeah, I suppose that's ok, cus I think we should talk."
Her blue eyes are wide, obviously worried she's done something wrong. "What about?"
"I think you know what." I look down and try to concentrate on a small scuff on the surface of the table. Rising in my mind are images of her naked, her skin glowing with sweat and her eyes closed in silent rapture. Harder to suppress are the feelings that accompany the images.
"We weren't in our right minds, Colonel," she says quietly. "No one could say…" she's silent for a long moment before continuing. "No one needs to know."
But there's something that I need to know. Something that's kept me awake at night ever since we got back. "Carter…"
"What, sir?"
"Was that just Therra, then, doing that?"
Carter looks at me, her eyes soft. For a brief moment she smiles, a secret, sweet smile that's all for me. Then Hammond and the others walk in and the smile is gone.