A Scene From Allegiant
By Me
I kiss him harder, my finger finding the zipper of his jacket. I unzip the zipper and let the jacket fall to the ground. He flinches when it falls, pushing me away from him.
"No, Tris I can't…" He insists, shaking his head. He walks away from me, leaning his back against the wall across from me.
"Yes, you can. We can. Tobias, I want too. I'm not afraid anymore!" I tell him, walking towards him.
"What about me? What if I'm afraid?" He says to me, his voice shaking.
"Who cares if you're afraid? Maybe deep down, I am too. Maybe I'm scared or nervous or even hesitant"-and deep down, I knew I was. But this is what I wanted-"about this? We don't have time!" I respond. I know what his response will be before he answers.
"Tris, of course we have time!"-Yep, I was right-"We have all the time in the world! You don't have to do this!" He says, his voice cracking on the word 'World'.
"Tobias, you don't know that. We could die at any moment! They could come, and we might never see each other again. Please, Tobias. I am begging you. Do this one thing for me and I will never ask anything more of you." I can feel tears on my face. I am pathetic. He steps towards me, his hands reaching for my face. He wipes the tears away, and with a pained look, slowly leans down to kiss me.
My back presses against the wall, my hands clutching at his back, trying to pull him closer when there is no closer. He doesn't resist when I set my hands on the hem of his t-shirt, allowing me to pull it over his head, revealing a white undershirt with splotches of red. He unzips my jacket and it drops to the floor with a thud. His fingers fumble with the buttons of my t-shirt, almost missing each button. The shirt falls to the ground right next to the bed, and I finally realize we've moved almost three feet in less than a minute.
He backs up, only a few inches. "You need to sleep." He says, catching his breath.
"Sleep with me." I plead, drawing his mouth to mine again.
He doesn't hesitate this time, kissing me harder, lifting me up. I expect him to practically throw me unto the bed, but he doesn't. Instead, he slams me against the wall, one hand behind my head so I wouldn't hurt myself. I rip the remains of his rugged undershirt off of him, my fingers running over his warm, smooth skin, savoring each moment. Savoring the feel of his skin on mine, because everywhere we touch feels electric, like each brush of his skin is triggering a different nerve in my body. In reality, this touch is only triggering one thing; the need for more, more.
He pulls away slightly, allowing himself to catch his breath while I wrap my legs tighter around his waist and kiss down his neck to his chest, running my hands over his back, tracing the ink I have familiarized myself with. His hands find the clasp of my bra, and I pull away from him so he can take it off of me. In this moment, the only thing that mattered was the feel of him; his hands on my legs, my back, my thighs, my chest. There is no hesitation. Only love.
We both gasp when my breasts press up against his chest; at what, I don't know. Maybe it was how good it felt, or how shocking it was that something as little as that gesture could say so much without making any noise.
My fingers find his belt, and I slowly undo it, throwing it to the ground. Now, everything separating us is an obstacle that needs to be removed. A threat that will be eliminated so we could finally be together. He slowly unbuttons my pants and slides my zipper down, and I moan. All of this was too much for me, and I feel like I am slowly falling apart in his arms, like he is the only thing that can put the pieces of me back together.
Now is when he takes me off the wall and throws me onto the bed, staring down at me. I don't know what he's looking for, but his eyes seem to be slowly assessing the situation. From my face, to my chest, to my now bare legs, he slowly rakes his eyes over me. As if finding what he wants, he dives in for more, drawing hip lips to mine, and I smirk. He pulls away as I pull his pants down, kissing my neck, chest, stomach, anything he could find. When that barrier was away from us, and we were left with only one barrier, I felt even better about this. I'm finally getting over this fear. I need this. I want this.
My fingers dig into his back as he kisses my neck and pulls down the black underwear Christina and I had gotten during initiation, and just like that, I've finally revealed myself to him, completely. He pulls back slightly, whispering on my cheek, "are you sure, Tris?"
And my response says everything I've ever wanted to tell him. "I've never been surer about anything in my life, Tobias. I love you,"
And what we did that night, when we brought our bodies together, and I raked my nails down his ink covered back, and he ran his hands over my exposed skin, could never have been more right.