Sentimental: A one-shot to clear my head. Things aren't going to well in school for me. (I'm not failing, btw.) That, and cat great-grandma passed away a few days ago. D:
Story Inspiration: The songs Help, Life, Skyline and CHE.R.RY by YUI and my fog-filled head.
Disclaimer: What? Why ya starin' at me? I'm not rich, just spoiled!
---
Path of Doubts
--
I smiled lazily over at my teammates, they were so carefree, happy, blissfully unaware. I've had the fear of trusting, the fear of opening up, yet nobody seemed to notice as I sewed a smile onto my face with invisible string. Even trusting them was a terrible and hard thing to process through, yet I've gone and classified them as my family, but even as family, someone never quite reveals what really happened as the sun rose and set. That someone would be me.
They all have blood-relatives of which we all know about, and none have yet to see mine, buried underground, flesh eaten by ants and the like. I'm suprised that not one of them has dared to ask about any of my flesh and blood, and I'm sure one of them has tried to get the rest to avoid the subject of family altogether, as he seems to understand that I'm uneasy about the topic. I happen to know for a fact that he's uneasy about the topic as well, in fact, we all know, seeing as his last relative was a grandfather of that with plans of the world.
I've tried to help him and his friends smile, yet they only seem to close the door shut, but I know. Others call them more tense then before, but I know. I know that they're thinking over my words, taking in every ring, every chime, and on a few occasions, I see their lips form an upside down frown. Seeing those on their faces always make my day brighten. Even if they still don't talk much, they're improving immensely.
Yet I wouldn't always try to help others. I'd just hide away, reliving the kinder videos of my past, wishing I could remain forever in those times. I'd be washed away in a scent I loved, surfing along waves of purity, gliding along the clouds of freedom. For many days and nights did I wish I could sleep in those lands, never being able to wake from my slumber, yet each day hit me long and hard as I cowered in fear, crouching in the damp and dank alleys of my mind. I would run away from any interaction, yet battle those when I was in rough times and finally, I would sneak, taking as much money I could swipe from open wallets and purses.
A man came up to me one day after seeing me beybattle with a few kids, he looked friendly, seemed friendly and was friendly, yet I still kept my guard up. He called himself Stanley Dickenson and offered me something I was almost desperate enough to die for. He offered me a home and food, on one condition, I beybattle in a tournament. So that's how it started, and how I met my team. Even if I was friendly enough to them, I kept my eyes on watch every second, still wary of the strangers. But they warmed my heart and melted away the frost.
You may not know, but everywhere I go, I'm never sure of anything, not sure of what I want, even now. When I fought that painful battle against the lilac haired Russian, I was absolutely unsure if I wanted to suffer through pain and keep going through the fight, or to just forfeit and save my life, yet lose the tournament for the others.
My mind was unsettled, it still is, yet it continues to walk down this path filled with doubt and uneasiness, determined to find wherever it leads to. And with wings sprouting a feather each day, along with my friends, I'm sure I'll find my way off of this path soon enough.
---
Sentimental: Ah, I'm sorry if it's not the best in the world, just trying to clear my head as stated above. Man am I ever tired. D;