Prologue

Don't look over your shoulder
'Cause that's just the ghost of me
You're seeing in your dreams
Wait, there's no rhyme or reason
Sometimes there's no meaning
In the visions when you're sleeping
Don't wake up and believe them
You're looking at the ghost of me.

Daughtry – Ghost of Me

Location: Serpent Nebula/Widow System/Citadel - Presidium Commons

2183 CE – One week after the Battle of the Citadel

The soft, blue glow of the computer console flickered briefly, illuminating the darkened office and exposing the stout figure before it. A raspy noise filtered through the air as the figure, a volus, breathed in and out of his protective suit as he typed a few passkeys onto his machine with a slight nervous twitch.

The past few days had been chaotic since the once great Spectre Saren Arterius had failed in his attempt to overtake the Citadel – a plot that was foiled by the now, infamous Commander Jane Shepard. Pieces of buildings and starship frigates littered the station's grounds making it clear, the reality of the epic battle that had occurred between the Alliance ships and Sovereign. Fire and smoke were now a part of the landscape, causing distress for the residents of the Citadel, and constant clean-up from the Cidatel Security Services. Not to mention the constant riots and uprisings from the local thugs and gangs – the main reason for the volus' nervous twitch; one could start at any moment at any location. Safety was now a high commodity for the inhabitants and C-Sec was having a challenging time maintaining control as they sought to reconstruct the Citadel. Thankfully for the Citadel Security, the presence of the System Alliance helped to maintain some measure of peace throughout the large station.

The volus continued to type away at his computer console knowing that he could not be late in communicating with his employer via the extranet – on a secure channel no doubt. He was eager to be of service at this time, knowing that a well of valuable information could be wrought from the chaos that was occurring just beyond his office doors.

Rumors of the Spectre Saren being a puppet for an even greater enemy had been spreading for months now, but it seemed, despite the Council's efforts, that this battle had confirmed it. Even Commander Shepard had voiced that Saren was being controlled, and within the year learned that beings called the Reapers - an unknown enemy with malicious intent toward all races and species – was behind Saren's betrayal. But of course, the volus' employer had already suspected the vitality of this claim; he had even helped the great Commander on her quest to stop Saren, and so, news of this must be spread, or so the volus believed. These things called the Reapers threatened their very livelihood, and he hoped that this expected call would ensure this very news would be spread so that all could be alerted and prepared on the oncoming threat.

"Barla Von." A strong, computerized voice echoed in the dark office, startling the volus from his thoughts.

"Shadow Broker!" Barla Von wheezed out, ecstatic at the contact from his employer. It was true that Barla Von worked as a bank manager, but it was not his main occupation. Money was one of two trades that he had mastered in his lifetime, but his greatest skill resided in the gathering and maintaining of information; a commodity that would forever be valuable in the galactic world. Barla Von believed that he was skillful in this art, but knew that the Shadow Broker was the true master - an unknown being that traded and crafted in information for motives that had not always agreed with Barla Von, but he had hoped that would change with the knowledge of the Reapers.

"It has come to my attention that other players have entered the game. I must protect my sources and methods." The Shadow Broker continued to speak, piquing Barla Von's attention. What other players was the Broker referring to? What about the Reapers?

"Other players?" The volus could not help but ask, wondering what the Shadow Broker was planning. Had someone infiltrated their system?

"Tela Vasir is currently on the Citadel overseeing the safety of the Council. Inform her that her services are required once more." The Shadow Broker ignored Barla Von's inquiry – a slight that was unhappily noticed by the volus. "I will send her the information she will require through our usual methods."

"Yes" – a hiss – "sir." Barla Von replied, wondering what plot involved the asari Spectre and why had he not mentioned the Reaper threat. He did not have further time to wonder or inquire as his employer soon ended the communication leaving him gazing at the blue light of his console as he processed his employer's departing words.

"I expect the completion of this task within the next solar day. Shadow Broker out." Even with his own reservations, the volus would complete his task, for Barla Von knew all too well of the stories of those that defied the Shadow Broker, and he, was not going to be one of them.

Location: Serpent Nebula/Widow System/Citadel - Presidium Embassies

Two weeks after the Battle of the Citadel

"Geth? You're sending me after Geth?" Lieutenant Commander Jane Shepard's voice held a tone that was a mixture between disbelief and surprise. After all that had occurred in the past year with Saren and the Reaper Sovereign, the Citadel Council was sending Shepard after Geth! The idea was preposterous! "The Reapers are coming! We need to be preparing ourselves!" Shepard flexed her right fist to contain her frustration. Did the Council not see the severity of the threat? Did they still doubt her after everything that had happened?

"Believe me, I know, Shepard." The older man before her sighed out as he rubbed his temple, wondering why he doubted that Jane would not react this way. Hell, he did when he found out what mission they were sending her off to do. God, how he hated politics.

"Anderson! You have to make them see! I mean, how can they not? The proof is right out the bloody window!" The Commander jerked her hand toward said window and at the scattered debris outside of the embassy office. "I thought they understood? The Geth were just pawns. What else do they need?" She bit back a few choice words, recognizing the exasperation on her former Captain's face, and took a deep breath instead when she noticed him raising a curious eyebrow at her. She really needed to control her temper; her accent slipped out easily. Too easily.

She folded her arms as her temperament sobered, and stared out the window, reflecting on the past year and before – on the people she had lost. Jenkins on Eden Prime and Ashley on Virmire were the most recent ones that came to mind. The unit she lost on Akuze and then her friends during the Skyllian Blitz on Elysium were always there too. And of course, those that she had lost before she joined the Alliance – their sacrifice would forever be burned in her heart and mind, and across her right shoulder and forearm. She unconsciously flexed her fist again, recalling the heat of the fire that had taken her life and friends away. She took in another deep breath, trying to stay focused and ignored the ache in her heart. What else did she have to sacrifice to make people see the lingering threats that loomed above them all?

"Shepard." David Anderson's voice was always soft, but firm as he studied and spoke to his former XO. He had noticed the sudden shift in her mood and could not help but see how the events plagued and tore on her; she still had that tail of chewing her bottom lip whenever she was thinking hard or stressed. He doubted she even noticed that she was doing it right now.

His brown eyes drifted lightly over her profile, trying to catch her attention. She still had that hard look about her and her eyes still burned with such a confident and determined passion, but, it seemed, a heavier weight was now burdening her shoulders. What could he do to help levitate her cross? He would always remain as her advocate, even more so, now that he was the first human Councilor on the Citadel Council – a privilege that was heavily weighted on Shepard's recommendation just two weeks ago, but it seemed not even that was enough. His main concern now was that she would burn herself out with all the pressure and responsibility that she now held.

"Shepard," Anderson finally caught her eyes, "Right now, the Council's main focus is to restore order and get this mess controlled and cleaned. You know how it is: people need the reassurance of safety."

"I know." She whispered. She did know, truly she did. She just wished that more action and preparation was being taken against the Reapers. This battle had only delayed their coming, not end it.

"It's just a routine reconnaissance mission; you'll be in and out in weeks and then we can begin talking to the Council and the Alliance about the Reapers. Ease their minds first and they'll be more likely to listen to us." Anderson reasoned. He noticed that Jane seemed more understanding, and so, continued. "Three ships have disappeared within the past few weeks and it's getting the Council worried that the Geth may be involved – hell, the request came in from a fellow Spectre – that alone should warrant your attention."

"Yeah, I got it. They're scared the Geth are plotting something." Shepard finally turned her attention back to the human Councilor.

"Then you know what to do, Shepard." Anderson easily donned the smile that was only reserved for the first Human Spectre. Since the moment they met, Anderson knew she had a great destiny about her and had taken a fatherly presence in her life, for which, they would forever be grateful for. Shepard returned the smile with one of her own and a firm nod.

"Aye, Aye, sir."

Location: Unknown

It was ironic; really, this situation Miranda Lawson had discovered herself imbedded in. Of all people, she had now found herself staring at the one person she truly despised and desperately avoided, save for another, as her next assignment. Commander Jane Shepard's image was flashing throughout multiple hologram-videos in the vast and darkened office of her superior and all Miranda could think about was how much she wanted to wring the woman's neck. The raven head took in a silent breath, lest she lose this assignment due to her emotions. She would control herself, just as she had many times before, despite her own personal qualms. She must and she would. The past was just that: the past. She turned her head away from the monitors, knowing that the figure sitting behind her was expecting her assessment on Shepard and the events that had happened two weeks ago.

The Illusive Man – the core figure and foundation of the organization that had granted her amnesty as well as opportunity – was immaculately dressed in one of his finest suits as he studied her reaction to the vids through a puff of cigarette smoke. It was a rare occurrence for him to meet with an operative personally, even one of her high position within the Cerberus organization, which informed Miranda one thing: this mission held no room for failure. If humanity was to survive, they needed Shepard on their side.

Her confident, steel blue eyes glanced once more over the multiple and various images and events that were involved with Jane Shepard. Despite her own reservations with the Savior of the Citadel, Miranda knew that the Commander had given humanity a stronger foothold in the galactic scene. There was no doubt about that. What the Commander had to offer, if her successful mission rates and apparent persuading personality was of any indication, seemed to be what Cerberus needed…what Humanity needed. Who knew that the loudmouth, scrawny little redhead she once knew would not only be the first human Spectre, but be the only being capable of stopping the Reapers? Miranda was skeptic when it came to Shepard, but she trusted the Illusive Man's judgment.

Miranda turned her face toward her employer, allowing the darken room to hide her perfect features for a moment. "Shepard did everything right, more than what we could've hoped for," she turned fully to face the Illusive Man, "saving the Citadel, even saving the Council. Humanity has the trust of the entire galaxy." She rested a hand on her hip as her eyes drifted over to a newsfeed of the wreckage on the Citadel, and her mind immediately thought of the last report they had received about Shepard, "And still, it's not enough." Her Australian accent was lightly lined with disbelief and annoyance.

"Our sacrifices have earned the Council's gratitude, but Shepard remains our best hope." The Illusive Man spoke, tapping his cigarette on the nearby ashtray. His glowing, blue eyes continued to study Miranda as if determining something, what, she had yet to deduce. An assistant arrived then, handing a datapad to the Illusive Man. Miranda ignored the intrusion, focusing more on the conversation and its implications.

The idea that Shepard was their best hope, did not sit well with Miranda, but she kept those sentiments back as she began walking toward her employer and through some holo-vids. Instead, she decided to voice her more viable annoyance: the Council. "But they're sending her to fight Geth! Geth!"She stood before him, confident and erect. "We both know they're not the real threat. The Reapers are still out there."

The Illusive Man glanced up from the datapad, took another inhale of his cigarette before responding. "And it's up to us to stop them." He exhaled the smoke, before dismissing the assistant with a tilt of his head.

"The Council will never trust Cerberus. They'll never accept our help, even after everything humanity has accomplished." She continued to voice her more accepting thoughts as she turned to glance once more at an image of Shepard. Oh how the next words, though truthful, already wanted to make her gag. "But Shepard, they'll follow her. She's a hero, a bloody icon." She turned back to her employer, noting the brief raise of his eyebrow. Perhaps she allowed her irritation toward Shepard sneak out with that last statement. She quickly sought to amend her tone. "But she's just one woman," she stated, "If we lose Shepard, humanity might well follow." She declared as she watched his eyebrow lower as he crushed his cigarette into his ashtray.

"Then see to it that we don't lose her."

Location: Omega Nebula/Amada System/SSV Normandy SR-1

One month after the Battle of the Citadel

Shepard stretched her arms above her as she sat at her desk, trying to finish her latest report to Anderson and Admiral Hackett. She let out a heavy sigh as she stared at the console before her. There was not much to report about. The area had been quiet since they had arrived; no sign of Geth at all, of anything really. It unnerved her, to be honest, when they discovered nothing in the system. Not even signs of the supposed missing ships. Her gut told her something was wrong, but she couldn't pinpoint what the problem was. She rubbed the back of her neck, trying to figure out what to send to her superiors and unknowingly bit the bottom of her lip as she thought. Her left hand rubbed her right forearm, another absentminded habit she had formed since the day she received the burnt scars that marred her skin. Her hand paused as her mind drifted off to the past, an occurrence, she found, was happening quite frequently as of late. She blamed the information she received a few days ago. Another dead end and 5000 credits poorer, Shepard wondered if she would ever get another lead on the woman she was searching for.

Find me.

Shepard closed her eyes as her memory replayed that voice; the voice that always haunted and blessed her dreams. She opened her green eyes, and stood from her chair, stretching her body once more before heading over to her dresser as a sudden wave of nostalgia and sadness crept into the forefront of her thoughts. She opened the steel container, where she kept a small metal box of her personal belongings. Shepard unlocked the small box and pocketed out a picture frame; the only solid reminder that her past did exist.

She smiled warmly at the three teenaged girls that were in the photo – of happier and simpler times. How did things end up this way? She knew that no answer would be forthcoming, despite always asking herself that question. Shepard didn't have any more time to ponder on her past before the Normandy's red alarms blared across the ship, followed by a massive lurch as the ship's port side was blown apart.

Shepard was flown against her cabin's wall as the ship's automated virtual intelligence system began sounding through the general communication system. "Red Alert! Hull Breach! Red Alert! Hull Breach!" Shepard cursed at the news and quickly ran out of the room to don her armor, passing by fellow Alliance officers who were rushing to maintain the fires that had erupted across the ship.

It didn't take long for Shepard to equip herself with her armor – she was trained to move fast and quick as an N7 operative. She quickly tapped into her personal communication channel to hail her pilot. "Joker!" She called out through her comm systems, hoping to reach the Flight Lieutenant. "Report!" A static was heard on the line, before Joker's voice could be heard.

"Kinetic barriers down! Multiple hull breaches! Weapons offline!" A moment of static garbled the line, before Shepard heard Joker yell once more, "—body get that fire out!" The usual witty pilot sounded frantic as he desperately tried to maneuver his way from whatever enemy was firing at them. Was it the Geth? Shepard thought as she grabbed her helmet and a nearby fire extinguisher. Shepard wasn't so sure, but she was sure she didn't remember the Geth having the capability of blasting through the Normandy's barriers so easily.

Shepard shot a burst of the extinguisher on a rampant electrical surge near the gun battery before the ship reeled once more. Shepard groaned in pain as she and the other crew was tossed against the ship's hull and equipment once more. She rolled to her feet before rushing to help one of her ensigns to their feet. "Get as many as you can to the escape pods!" She ordered over another explosion of more equipment.

"Aye, aye!" The soldier replied and quickly did as he was told.

Shepard didn't spare him another glance as she ran over to a computer console and punched in a few commands. The Normandy VI soon broadcasted the Commander's order over the ship's communication system. "All hands abandon ship! This is not a drill. All hands abandon ship! This is not a drill."

Satisfied that her crew would be getting to safety, Shepard quickly sent out a distress beacon and message to the Alliance. "This is Lieutenant Commander Jane Shepard of the SSV Normandy. We are under attack from an unknown assailant and require immediate assistance. I've ordered all crew to abandon ship. I'm punching in our coordinates." Her fingers flew across the keyboard as she sent the beacon just before said keyboard sparked and burst into flames. Shepard hissed out as she shielded her face from the heat. She inwardly thanked a higher power for allowing her to send the beacon before she was unable. Quickly, she snapped her N7 breather helmet on.

"Shepard!" A familiar male voice called out to her. Shepard turned to see Lieutenant Kaiden Alenko rushing toward her.

"Distress beacon has been launched." Her eyes did a quick scan for injury on her Lieutenant and finding none, she was about to order him to the escape pods, when he spoke.

"Will the Alliance get here in time?" He asked as he secured his own helmet with lucky timing as the ship bucked once more, causing him to stumble into the Commander. She gripped him securely before he could fall and helped him to his feet.

"The Alliance won't abandon us. We just need to hold on!" She told him before attacking another fire with her extinguisher. "Get everyone onto the escape pods!" She added, but noted that he had grabbed an extinguisher of his own to help combat the flames.

"Joker is still in the cockpit! He won't abandon ship." He then defiantly glared over to her. "And I'm not leaving either."

Shepard wanted to smack Kaiden for being so negligent. He could be endearing at times, but right now, he really needed to be her Lieutenant and not her friend. She turned toward him and gripped his forearm. "I need you to get the crew to the evac shuttles!" She ordered as she tossed the seemingly useless fire extinguisher aside. "I'll get Joker." Another explosion rattled the ship, causing Shepard to grab an above railing to keep steady. She could sense Kaiden had yet to follow through on her order.

"Commander…" He hesitated. Yup. She ought to have smacked him.

"Kaiden!" She turned to fully look him in the eyes. "Go. Now." She ordered with the tone that held no room for negotiation or compromise. He held her eyes for a brief moment, and she knew he was debating on disobeying her, and so, she was ever grateful when he didn't.

"Aye, Aye." He whispered to her before running off to save the remaining crew.

Shepard watched Kaiden's retreating form before turning to face toward the stairs that would lead her to the upper deck, where Joker was located. Once this was over, she was going to give him and Kaiden a piece of her mind about following her orders, followed by a smack to the back of their heads. Rushing toward the right stairs, Shepard bounded upward, before another large shake struck her against the door that led to the upper deck. She gritted her teeth as she pushed herself away from the wall and slammed her fist on the door lock, effectively opening the door.

A whoosh of air slammed itself against her suit, making her stumble forward before she activated her magnetic boots; the mass effect fields were out, which meant gravity was lost. Shepard's eyes glanced upward and widened in surprise as she spotted the large hole in the upper deck of the Normandy. What the hell did this? Her eyes darted over to the cockpit, noting Joker's form beyond the barrier he had placed up. How many lives were lost? She wondered as she breathed through her suit's built-in oxygen system and began to maneuver through floating debris. How many were saved? She inched closer to the cockpit, pushing aside a floating chair. Whoever did this was going to pay dearly for harming her family.

Shepard finally reached the barrier and easily entered through it. Gravity returned to her as soon as she stepped through, making her stumble briefly from the sudden environment change. She dislodged her mag boots and rushed to Joker's side as he broadcasted through all communication channels.

"Mayday mayday. This is SSV Normandy. We've suffered heavy damage from an unknown enemy!" He yelled as his fingers flew across his flight controls, trying to keep the Normandy afloat. "Come on, baby, hold it together, just for me, hold it together." He pled just as Shepard appeared beside him.

"Joker! Come on! We have to get out of here!" She motioned to grab his arm, but his yelling caused her to briefly pause; he had never yelled at her before. And just like that, he just made it to the top of her smacking list today, right before Alenko.

"No! I can still save her! I won't abandon her!" He shouted out defiantly. Shepard sighed out and gripped his arm and leaned down to speak to him.

"Joker! The Normandy's lost. Going down with the ship won't change that." She told him, voice firm, but gentle. She knew how much he adored this ship, just as she had come to adore it and its crew.

Joker was silent for a moment, before he nodded his head in reluctance. "Yeah okay, help me up." She did just that and the two began to head toward the last evacuation pod, but not before noticing a flicker on one of the monitors. Bloody hell.

"They're coming around for another attack!" Joker voiced the reason for her pause and the two quickened their pace toward the escape pod that was closest to the cockpit. One, more hurried than the other, given Joker's brittle bone disease. "Ow! Watch the arm!" Joker seethed out, briefly forgetting the reason for Shepard's hurried state. Shepard ignored his complaints as they reached the panel for the escape pod. She slammed her fist on the panel, effectively opening it, and gingerly helped Joker inside the seat – a silent apology for being rough on him.

It was then, that Shepard heard an incoming shrilling sound. Glancing up and through the exposed hull, Shepard's eyes broadened as she watched a yellow beam slice itself through her ship. Oh God. She realized too late what had happened as she was launched off her feet and away from Joker and the escape pod. She briefly heard Joker calling out her name as her primary focus was to get her friend to safety. Floating off, she did a somersault in the air, allowing her left hand to smash itself against the escape pod's controls, successfully allowing it to launch away from the Normandy.

Shepard grinned as she heard the pod stream away from the Normandy. Joker was safe. She should be all right, as long as her hardsuit remained intact. She had at least twenty-four hours of air supply – that should be enough for someone to find her floating along. Her thoughts were interrupted when another series of explosions propelled her away from the ship entirely and into the dark void of space. She twirled a bit before feeling her back slam itself roughly against metal plating. Ow. Damn that hurt.

She weaved a few more times before she was able to stabilize herself. Looking back at what once was the Normandy; Shepard saw its final moment as the unknown ship blasted it into oblivion. She really was going to have fun getting revenge. She breathed in, controlling her temper, but noticed something strange with her air intake. She glanced down at her right wrist, where her HUD and suit's readings were located. The stats were decreasing…rapidly.

Her breathing became harsher as her body registered the oncoming chill in her suit and the dwindling amount of oxygen. Dread and fear hit her then as she realized that that metal plating must have caused a suit rupture near her oxygen supply. And to make matters worse, she felt herself drifting downward faster than she should. Alchera! The planet they were near…she was caught in its gravitational pull. Her body plunged, and reflexively, she held onto her helmet as her air supply was draining out and her body was heating up from the pull. No! After everything that's happened, I can't die like this! Images and voices quickly flashed through her mind, but in her frantic state, she could barely register them all as they overlapped and overrode her senses.

Shepard gasped and struggled fruitlessly to gulp in air, but her suit was now exhausted of proper air supply. She kicked and twirled as her suit began to sizzle from the increasing heat; the foreboding thought of being cooked alive flashing in her mind. The cacophony of voices and images in her head were beginning to still, making her frantic in her last moments as she realized her fate. Not yet…not yet…give me another chance…I still…need…to…find… Her mind stilled and her body relaxed as she slowly drifted into unconsciousness. It didn't take long before the Commander's eyes finally closed and one last voice forcefully pierced the silent nothingness of her quieting mind.

Find me.

Author's Note:

This is my first attempt at fanfiction. After reading many fanfics about the Mass Effect universe, especially that of Shepard/Miranda pairings - which are my favs - I felt inspired to try my hand at the craft. To try to keep it original, but true to the canon (in terms of major plot line and missions), I've made this story slightly A/U and tried to focus mostly on Shepard and Miranda interactions. I have not decided if this will become a complete novelization of Mass Effect 2, but there will be critical missions that I hope to incorporate in order to expound and demonstrate the bond between Shepard and Miranda.

I welcome comments and constructive criticism and would be eternally grateful for those that can help me better my writing - in all aspects, but especially in grammar and delivery. On that note, I would also appreciate any corrections in the Mass Effect lore as well (unless I am purposely altering it just a tad bit for my story =p) as I know I am not well versed as I wish I was.

For those that wish to know or care, my female Shepard's image resembles that of the iconic/default Shepard: Red hair and green eyes. Her voice is softer and smoother than what Jennifer Hale has portrayed - for the sole reason that I cannot stand it (I don't know why, don't hate me for it - I like her voice in other works that she's done, so I have no idea why I dislike her as Shepard), and that it actually plays a vital role in my plot line. She grew up on Earth and due to reasons that will later be explained and revealed in the story, she will have both survived the thresher maw on Akuze and engaged herself in the Skyllian Blitz on Elysium (timeline will differ from Mass Effect...sorry...don't kill me for it...but there's a purpose, I promise). She holds a mixture of paragon and renegade, but will mostly have a paragon dominated personality. She holds a wide range of skills and abilities, since I believe that being trained not only as a marine, but that of an N7 operative and Spectre, should give her a very talented resume that should not be bound to specific weaponry or biotic/tech skills or even that of martial arts.

Also, (I promise I'll stop talking soon) just for a quick Mass Effect 1 summary: Shepard sacrificed Ashley on Virmire, Wrex was appeased, and the Council was saved, followed by Anderson becoming a member of the Council. And of course, the most important info: Shepard romanced...

This will become an a Shepard/Miranda fic, so it doesn't matter who she romanced before, right? Right.