Meeting You Made Me Want To Survive

by mrsjwwhitlock

Alice is in the hospital with an infection that has given her a death sentence. Edward, Emmett and Jasper are intern's who have been assigned to her case. When she falls for Jasper, what will she do when he doesn't seem to return her feelings?

1. Chapter 1

I lay in the hospital bed, staring at the ceiling above me. The tiles had become my refuge. They were the only thing I knew would always be there when I woke up. Everytime my eyes opened, I was greeted by the bland white expanse of the ceiling, and somehow it comforted me.

Throughout my month here at the hospital, I had gone through too many doctors to count. They all tried varying medications on me, though none of them seemed to be working. I had accepted my fate though. Living wouldn't have any meaning if you weren't eventually going to die. Death had been around me my whole life. When it tried to claim me, I would greet it with my head held high.

I had heard through the paper-thin walls of my room that I would be receiving a new doctor today. He was supposedly one of the most renowned doctor's in the country, but that didn't really mean anything to me. I would let him try to help me, but I knew that ultimately, he wouldn't have a chance of saving me. My time in this world was up. I could feel myself gradually growing weaker and it was now only a matter of weeks.

I heard footsteps making their way towards my room. It's amazing what you pick up when you have been here as long as I have. I could now differentiate between all the footsteps in this ward. I could tell when the Head Nurse Betty was coming to see how I was doing. The lighter and airier footsteps belonged to an eight-year-old boy who had leukemia. The heavier and slightly dragging footsteps were those of the Resident Doctor who was obligated to check on everyone twice a day.

But these footsteps were different. They seemed to ring of confidence. They were new, and somehow rang of authority. I knew I was being slightly judgmental thinking that I could get all of this from a pair of footsteps, but when you have nothing else to do, you grab at anything to entertain you, if only for a couple of seconds.

When the owner of the new footsteps rounded the corner, I had no shame in saying that I openly gaped at him. He was quite beautiful. He had short blonde hair and all his features were perfectly aligned. He was about 10 years older then me, as he looked about 27, but still, I can appreciate a good creation of man when I see it.

"Hello, my name is Dr. Carlisle Cullen, and I will be taking care of you for the duration of your stay here. Please tell me if there is anything you need that I can get you," he said smoothly and kindly. I thought I would actually like this guy. He seemed to be one of the few doctors in this hospital who still cared about their patients. There I go again, making judgements before I even know a person.

"Hi, I'm Alice Brandon and I appreciate you wording that so it sounds like I'm staying at a resort instead of at a hospital," I replied, smiling so he knew I was being sincere.

He gave me another smile and then he picked up my chart. "So Alice, do you know about the infection that is ailing you?" he asked politely. I'm pretty sure he really wanted me to know that I probably wasn't going to make it, so he wouldn't have to break the news to me himself.

"Umm, I know that the infection is attacking my lungs which makes me not able to breathe properly. I also know that if I can't kill off the infection I will probably die," I stated calmly.

He gave me a strange look. I know that he was most likely going to refer me to a grief counselor so I could 'deal' with this. But I don't know why everyone was always concerned just because I wasn't bawling my eyes out because I was going to die.

"Do you know of the symptoms that you will probably be overcome with?" he asked.

"Yeah I actually had a question about that. I know that I'm going to get progressively weaker, but does that mean that someone is going to have to give me a sponge bath when I'm not strong enough to shower by myself?" I asked, concerned. If I was going to die I wanted to maintain my dignity while doing it.

Dr. Cullen started laughing and I tried to stare accusingly at him, but his laughter was so infectious that I started laughing along with him.

When he sobered up a bit he looked back at me and I was surprised to find a deep-seated pain showing through his eyes.

"You are perfectly aware that you will most likely pass away in the next few weeks and you are concerned about someone seeing you naked?" he asked, looking a bit confused.

I fidgeted embarrassingly with my blanket, keeping my mouth firmly shut. I knew it was stupid, but anyone who looked like me would feel the same. I mean, I was 17 and I still didn't have any breasts. I had a short pixie like haircut and combined with that I'm sure a lot of people thought that I was a boy. I had also been in an accident a couple months back, which gave me a long scar along the left side of my face. It disfigured my appearance slightly, and even though it was slowly healing, I knew that it would never fade completely.

Even worse then the physical ramifications of having a scar so noticeable, everytime I caught sight of my reflection I was always reminded of how I got that scar, and it tore my heart to piece's everytime. Whenever I saw people throwing sympathetic glances at me, it just reminded me how screwed up my life was. But Dr. Cullen seemed different. He didn't look at me sympathetically or with pity. He just looked determined to help me. So I decided to just give him part of the truth.

"Well, it's just that I have a scar along my stomach, and people can't stop staring at it. It makes me feel really self-conscious," I stated. I wasn't lying, it was another one of the presents the accident had given me.

Dr. Cullen looked at me as if he knew that wasn't the whole reason. Well if he did, I was glad that he looked like he wasn't going to push it.

"Ok Alice, well I am going to be putting you on a new medication that will hopefully kill the infection once and for all. But since that I have a lot of patients to get to, you will be having three interns that will be at your beck and call. They are my sons Emmett, Edward and Jasper. Emmett is 20 and Edward and Jasper are both about to turn 19. But don't worry, they are all very smart and they are very capable doctors," Dr. Cullen told me.

"Well thank you Dr. Cullen, I'm sure they will take wonderful care of me," I said smiling happily, "Even if it isn't any use," I mumbled quietly.

"Alice, I know that you seem to think that you will definitely die but I want you to know that I will be trying my hardest to save your life and so will my sons, but we can't do that if you don't want to be saved," Dr. Cullen said, looking at me intensely. "And call me Carlisle," he added.

"But Docte..Carlisle," I said, "If I start hoping that I will survive, then it will be that much harder to let go when I inevitably die," I told him logically.

"Alice, we all need hope," he said, holding my hands in his, "And you should never give up on it." He then dropped my hands, put the chart at the end of my bed and started walking out of my room. "Oh and Alice?" he said, turning around as he got to my door.

"Yes Carlisle?" I asked politely.

"My sons will be up to check on you soon, but you will be their first patient so please tell me if they do anything wrong," he said, gave me a final wink, and then walked off down the hall.

I smiled, hoping- yes hoping- that Carlisle would be my doctor for the rest of my stay here. He made me feel that there was at least one person in the world that cared if I lived or died. And that was all I needed to help me through the last weeks of my life.

I decided to try to sleep a bit before Carlisle's sons got here. All the changing of medication was making me feel loopy, and I didn't want to say anything to them that I would regret later.

Before I could make myself comfortable enough to fall asleep, I heard three pairs of footsteps making their way towards my room. Before they rounded the corner that would take them into my room, I heard someone stop them. Since noise traveled quite easily through these halls, I could hear them speaking quite easily.

"Wait sons, I have to tell you some things before you go in there," a man said, which I'm guessing was Carlisle. "Alice is quite…..fragile," he said, "She has quite a low self-esteem and she doesn't seem too worried about dying. You boys will have to make sure you don't say anything to upset her and if you could, try to make her a little more happy. She puts on a brave front but I think its just a mask to hide how she really feels," I heard Carlisle tell his sons.

I was shocked. I can't believe he saw through me so easily. Maybe it was because he was the first person who actually paid very close attention to me.

I could hear his sons giving him affirmative grunts, and I think I heard one of them smack him on the shoulder. I decided that I would feign sleep for when they first came in, so I could gather what they really thought about me. You wouldn't believe what people said about you when they thought you weren't listening.

I heard them all come into my room, and one of them let out a low whistle.

"Wow, well how couldn't she have a low self-esteem when she looked like that," I heard one of them say. I opened my eyes an infinitesimal amount so I could see who said that. I just managed to hold onto my self-control so my eyes didn't go flying open. In front of me were three incredibly hot interns. One of them- the one that just insulted me I think- was big and burly. He had dimples and short curly hair. He was also very tall. The one standing in the middle had reddish-brown hair and he was nearly as tall as the first one, but he wasn't as burly. But he did have a certain muscular definition about him. The last one must have been a god sent from heaven. He had blonde curly hair that brushed his chin and he was taller then the other two, but not by much. He had broad shoulders and I could see his muscles under the lab coat and sweater he wore.

But of course, their looks were shattered by the words coming out of their mouths.

"Yeah, look at that. I mean, isn't she supposed to be 17? How come she doesn't have any boobs?" the one with reddish-brown hair said. I could feel their words cut at me but I just tried to ignore it. I shouldn't care what these arrogant assholes thought of me. That was until I saw the blonde god start to open his mouth. I shut my eyes again, not wanting to see his lips move when I heard the words that were sure to rip my heart out of my chest.

"Humph, I thought she was a guy when we first walked in," he said.

Ok, that was just e-fucking-nough. They didn't know a thing about me and they were already judging me out of the blue? Ok, I know that I do that, and I know that I was pretending to be asleep, but I never insulted someone aloud, especially if they were in the same room, even if they were asleep! And after Carlisle told them to be nice to me and try to raise my self-esteem, this was just plain rude.

I wasn't going to let these arrogant jackasses do this. They can't expect to be able to get away with shit like this. So, to start, I snapped my eyes open.

"You know, it's quite rude to judge people like that when you don't even know them, especially when they are going to die soon," I told them calmly, trying not to laugh at their reactions. They all looked kinda mortified. Yeah, drink it in boys. Payback's a bitch.

"Oh, umm, well see we didn't know you were awake and we didn't mean to be rude we're sorry," the one with reddish-brown hair managed to get out.

"Yeah whatever," I said, suddenly drained of energy. This is what medication can do to you. It also changes your mood dramatically. Before I was about ready to punch them all in the face. Now I couldn't care less about them. Except for the blonde one. He was looking at me with a critical eye, as if he didn't care about me, he just cared about making me better. That pissed me off a little, but all I wanted to do now was sleep for about 12 hours.

I decided to break the silence that had settled over the room. "Hi I'm Alice," I said, smiling and waving weakly at them.

"Jasper, Edward, Emmett," the blonde one-Jasper-said, pointing at himself then the one with reddish-brown hair, then the burly one. But it was hard to concentrate when I saw his plump pink lips moving against eachother.

"So, are you feeling any pain? Do you feel nauseous or do you have a headache?" Jasper asked clinically, surveying me with a cold eye.

I stared back at him, wanting to tell him that he was being an asshole again. I mean, couldn't he at least pretend to care about me? Not just care about making me better?

I was being an idiot. As if someone like him would even notice me if I wasn't his responsibility. This realization kinda made me hate him a bit more. I mean yeah, I didn't know anything about him, but I could se that he was very good-looking and by the look of the expensive watch on his wrist, he was also rich. Whereas I was ugly, dirt poor because of the hospital bills, and I had lost everyone I had loved.

But none of this was his fault, and I knew the reason that I was irrationally angry was because I was already developing a tiny crush on him, after knowing him for all of 2 minutes.

I then realized that he was waiting for an answer and was starting to tap his foot impatiently.

"I feel fine," I answered him stiffly, "Though I do have to go to the bathroom, so if we're done here," I said, moving my blankets out of the way.

"We'll wait, I have a few more questions," Jasper said, leaning leisurely against the wall next to the door to the bathroom. I had almost forgotten Edward and Emmett were in the room until I passed them. As I was just about to reach the door, I was hit with a dizzy spell and I started spiraling towards the floor. I waited for the pain of hitting the floor to hit me, but instead I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around my waist. I looked up to see Jasper's face two inches from my own and his eyes had mine captured in his gaze. His eyes were a piercing sky blue, and I could feel myself melt into his arms.

He quickly stood me up straight and then hastily let get go of me, and I was reminded that he seemed to be strangely repulsed by me. I muttered a quick and quiet, "Thank you," and then continued my way to the bathroom without another incident.

When I got out, I saw Emmett standing quite close to me, obviously ready to catch me if I fell again. I gave him a small smile. "I'll be fine," I reassured him, but he still followed behind me until I was safely in bed again.

When I was comfortable again, I looked up to see them all making notes on some paper. I waited a little impatiently for them all to finish, until Edward finally looked up at me.

"Have you experienced any sudden mood changes or physical changes in your body?" Edward asked kindly. See, it wasn't that hard to just pretend that he actually cared about how I felt, not just so he could fix me. He was looking at me with kind eyes, not the cold ones Jasper was currently fixing me with.

"Yeah, that's happened a lot," I replied, looking at the wall in front of me, and absently stroking the scar on my stomach through the thin scratchy material of the hospital gown. When I first arrived here I had only had one change of clothes, which I had wanted to wear through out my stay at the hospital, but they demanded that I wear one of these atrocious gowns like everyone else. Fortunately, through the irresistible power of my puppy dog eyes, I was able to get one that actually covered my backside, unlike everyone else's.

"Well it is quite normal, so you don't have to worry about it," Emmett told me, smiling at me apologetically. He was obviously still feeling guilty about what happened before. I gave him a reassuring smile and a wink, trying to tell him that all was forgiven. And it was. I mean, yeah, it hurt that they said those things, but I probably just overreacted. It wasn't my fault; it's just the way I was born.

"Ok, well that's about all. You'll be getting your dinner soon, so we'll leave you alone and come back tomorrow," Jasper stated, and without another glance he strode out of my room. I felt like growling at him, but I'm sure they would all think I was a little weird if I did that.

"You know, if you want, we can stay with you for a little bit?" Emmett said, "I'm sure it gets pretty lonely in here all by yourself." Well, maybe they weren't so bad after all.

"You don't have to. I wouldn't want to bore you," I told them, still silently hoping that they would stay. This place got so repetitive, that all the days melded into eachother. Even if my life depended on it, I couldn't tell you what day it was today. I'm sure that now I have Edward, Emmett and Jasper as my doctors, I would start paying more attention.

"Nah, you wouldn't bore us, we'd love to stay, right Eddie?" Emmett said. Edward gave him a disparaging look and growled out, "Don't call me Eddie." I started laughing at their sibling rivalry, and realized that today with Carlisle, and now with Edward and Emmett, was the first time that I had laughed in god knows how long.

Once I had started laughing Emmett joined in with me, and Edward turned around, affronted, and walked out of the room. I started to get control of myself, and started worrying if I had actually hurt Edward's feelings. Emmett saw my expression, and reassuringly pat my knee.

"Don't worry sprite, I'm sure he's just having a hissy fit, he'll be back soon," Emmett told me, smiling widely.

"Sprite?" I asked, with one eyebrow raised. I honestly didn't mind the nickname, it was a nice change, but it didn't mean I was going to let him know that. Yep, I'm evil.

"Yeah," Emmett said, unabashedly. "You know, cos your short and you kinda look like a pixie with that haircut," he told me, grabbing a strand of my jet-black hair and lightly pulling on it. I playfully smacked his hand away and started laughing. Emmett was a great person to be with, I'm sure he would make the rest of my stay here much more enjoyable.

"Hey, I got you your dinner," Edward said as he re-entered the room. He placed the tray in front of me, and as he was so close to me, I quickly leaned forward and kissed him on the nose.

"Thanks Edward, and I'm sorry about laughing at you before," I said sincerely, trying not to laugh at his shocked expression. I was a little forward, I do admit, but it was just who I was. I usually hug all the people I first meet instead of shaking their hand.

"Sure, that's ok," he said, placing himself on the chair next to my bed on the opposite side to Emmett. Before now, I hadn't realized how hungry I was. I started shoveling the food into my mouth, when I realized I was being rude.

"Do you guys want any?" I asked politely. Well, not really politely, as my mouth was full of food, and I'm pretty sure I just spit some of it out. Emmett laughed at me and then shook his head. I didn't know if he was shaking it because he didn't want any, or if he was shaking it at my behaviour. I'm sure that because of the laugh it was my behaviour.

"No thank you," Edward refused politely, though I could see he was shaking with silent laughter.

"Ok, your loss," I told them, and continued eating. When I finished, I saw them both staring at me with wide-eyes. "What?" I asked, slightly confused.

"You just ate that all in about 30 seconds. Even Emmett can't eat that fast, and that's saying something," Edward told me. I felt slightly proud of myself, so I then stuck my tongue out at Emmett and continued with a chorus of, "You were beaten by a girl, You were beaten by a girl, You were beaten by a girl." When I was done I felt quite tired and I snuggled myself further into my bed.

"Ok, I think you should probably sleep now," Edward told me, picking up my tray and walking towards the door. "Goodnight Alice, sleep well," Edward said, then he walked off down the hall.

"Yeah sleep well Alice," Emmett said. He then leant forward and gave me a kiss on my forehead. I looked up at him and felt all warm inside. I was already so comfortable with him that he already felt like my big brother. As he walked out of my room, he turned off the light and closed the door behind himself.

As I lay there in the darkness, I could feel myself drifting off, even though my eyes were still open. I closed my eyes and instantly jerked up in my bed. I tried closing my eyes again, and then yanked them open. Everytime I closed my eyes, all I could see was Jasper's face floating there. This wasn't fair! Why did I have to like someone who was so out of my league, and was also repulsed by me! Life was so freaking unfair.

I lay back down and glared at the ceiling. I knew it was stupid, but all I could see was Jasper's beautiful face, floating around on the ceiling. Why couldn't I stop thinking about him? Usually when I liked people I could usually stop thinking about them if I really wanted to. But a part of me really wanted to keep thinking about Jasper. I kept replaying in my head how his arms felt wrapped around me, how beautiful his face looked when it was only a few inches from mine and how his piercing blue eyes seemed to see right through me.

During all of this fantasizing, I started to drift off. But before I could be fully enveloped by sleep, I heard my door silently creak open. I opened my eyes a crack to see Jasper standing in the doorway. I quickly opened my eyes and sat up in my bed.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," Jasper said, looking at me apologetically. Wait, he looked at me apologetically. He didn't look at me with cold eyes. He looked at me apologetically. OH MY GOD! I had to stop my inner spaz so I could reply to him.

"You didn't wake me up, I was just thinking about… things," I replied. Smooth Alice, real smooth.

"Oh, ok good," He said, looking a little awkward. "Look Alice, since your awake, I think I should apologize," Jasper said. I looked at him in shock. If he was going to keep being this nice, he would turn into the perfect man, and then I would never be able to stop thinking about him. Dammit.

"Don't worry Jasper, you did nothing you have to apologize for," I lied, hoping he would apologize anyway.

"No I did, and I just wanna say that I never meant to offend you, and the only reason I was acting like that was because-," Jasper stopped talking and looked at me. "Alice are you alright?" he asked quickly, starting to move closer to me.

I'm guessing the reason he asked that was because my limbs had started to shake a little. Well damn it all to hell, I think I was about to have a seizure. 'Great, perfect timing' I thought, as I started to shake more violently. My body was flying through the air in every direction and it was starting to get very painful. I thought I vaguely heard a stressed voice yell, "I need some help in here!" before I was overcome with darkness.

---

The pain went away. And I was now having one of the best moments of my life. I was sitting in a comfy looking bedroom, lying on a bed in the arms of a god. I turned my head slightly to the side to stare into the eyes of the man I had fallen in love with. He gave me a small smile and leaned down to kiss my hair softly. I was in heaven. I had never felt so safe and secure in my whole life. And loved. The feelings of love around me were so strong it felt like I was suffocating in them. I never wanted to leave. I just wanted to stare into those piercing blue eyes for the rest of eternity. I wanted to see him brushing his golden hair out of his eyes for the rest of my days.

But it was all starting to fade away. I reached out to grab his hand and it turned to mist in front of me. He looked at me and gave me a small wave, with a sad look in his eyes. I started screaming. I didn't want to leave. I wanted to go back. In front of me, the walls of the hospital were starting to materialize.

Then I realized that someone was screaming. I wish they would stop, it was starting to annoy me. The harder I listened the more I heard that they were screaming someone's name. I started to try and discern each sound from the other. What were they saying?

Then the fog that had been veiling my senses lifted, and I could hear it. Jasper. Jasper. They kept screaming it over and over again. I wrenched my eyes opened, and sighed in relief. The screaming had stopped.

I looked around me to see Edward and Carlisle each holding down one of my arms and Emmett holding down my legs. I looked around confused. Why were they holding me down like that? And was the person who was screaming ok?

"What's going on?" I asked, still incredibly confused. They all looked at me carefully and then slowly let go of me one by one. When I had control of my limbs again, I stretched my body carefully. I realized that I was very sore, and I didn't know why. I mean, I hadn't exactly been able to do much physical activity when I was stuck in a hospital bed.

"Will one of you please tell me what happened?" I asked angrily, annoyed they hadn't answered me yet. Carlisle seemed to assess me, and then he started speaking slowly.

"Alice, you had a seizure last night. The infection lashed out at your body and caused it to go into shock. You were sedated and you were fine until you woke up about one minute ago," he explained. I knew he was leaving some things out, but most of it made sense. That must be why I was so sore.

"Oh," I said, and sat up quickly. In a second it had all come flooding back. I remember talking to Jasper and then I remember actually having the seizure. But then that still doesn't explain who was screaming so incessantly.

"Who was screaming?" I asked, wishing that they would give me the answer straight away. Nope, they all just looked down at their feet. Wait, shouldn't Jasper be here? I mean, he was the one who was here with me when I had the seizure. He must've been the one that called for help. So then, where was he? He was about to tell me why he was offending me so much.

I felt a surge of hatred at my sickness. Before now, I had just accepted the fact that I was going to die. But, couldn't it have just waited a couple minutes until Jasper had said what he was trying to say? I mean, couldn't it just give me that much?

"So, who was it?" I asked, getting frustrated. Because, I think I knew who had been screaming. Who else would have been screaming about Jasper? And now that I remembered the dream I had been having before I woke up, I yearned to see Jasper again, and the only way I would do that was if they would confirm that it was me so that I could go and find him.

"Alice, I think you should rest, you have been through quite an ordeal," Carlisle said, patting me on the head.

"If it was me, just tell me!" I yelled, "Please," I added, whispering the last part.

"Yeah sweetie it was, but don't worry about it, you were probably just having a bad dream," Emmett said, looking at me cautiously. 'Well, if you mean by bad dream one of the best dreams of my life, then yeah, you're right' I thought sarcastically. Ok, I really have to reel in my anger. I didn't like being such a grump, but I had an uncontrollable urge to see Jasper.

"Where's Jasper?" I asked, trying to be as nonchalant as possible. They all quickly looked at me and then looked away.

"What is with you guys? Just, please tell me where he is, I just have a question for him," I lied, so they would hopefully think I just wanted his professional opinion on a matter, and that I wasn't just pining for him like a lost puppy.

"Uh, Ali he went home," Edward said, looking at the wall opposite him. Ok, I may be a hospital invalid, but I can still tell when a person was lying to me. I wish people would stop treating me as if I was some little porcelain doll that would break at the slightest bit of bad news. Come on! I was dealing with a life threatening infection and I had watched my family die. I think that would toughen me up. But no, everyone just thought I was some wimpy little girl who needed help with everything she did. Well, I would just have to show them wouldn't I.

"Oh ok, well I guess you guys have to go home sometime," I said casually, pushing my blankets out of the way and standing up. They all seemed to lean forward, ready to catch me, but I wasn't as weak as they all thought. I slowly started to stretch, and then I suddenly sprinted forward. I ducked under Emmett's outstretched arms and ran out the door.

If Jasper wasn't tending to me-his only patient- then he was probably at the cafeteria. All I knew was that he definitely wasn't at home. I dodged different nurses and ran past some patients. I knew that either Edward or Emmett was running after me, but I didn't really care. I may have been terribly sick, but on a good day, I actually felt like a normal person. I wasn't going to question it, and for once in about 2 months, I was running as fast as I could and it felt absolutely incredible.

I rounded the last corner and came to a stop in the cafeteria. I looked around quickly, and when I finally located Jasper, the joy I felt at finding him only lasted a second. Then I really absorbed what I was seeing in front of me. My heart felt like it was being brutally ripped out of my chest and ripped into pieces. I had let myself hope. Why did I do it? I had let myself hope that Jasper could possibly like me just a hundredth of how much I liked him. And this is the price you pay for hoping.

I stood there like an idiot, watching Jasper eating with a gorgeous woman with long black hair and legs that looked like they went on for years. She seemed to be of Mexican origins. She was the opposite of me. She was tall and I was short. She was beautiful and I was ugly. She was tan and I was a sickly pale color. I stared dejectedly at them, wondering why Edward or Emmett hadn't caught up to me yet and dragged me back to my room.

I slowly walked over to them, watching her touch his arm and laugh at something he said. I saw her lean in and whisper something in his ear. I saw her sliding her leg up and down his. I saw her slide her tongue along his ear and then kiss him along his jaw.

And Jasper didn't object to any of it. He just sat there and took it all.

And why wouldn't he? She was gorgeous and throwing herself at him. Why would he want to know if I was all right? Why would he care if anything had happened to me? Why would he want to know if I had lived or died? He wouldn't, and that's why he was here with her instead of in my room with me.

When I finally arrived at his table, he looked up at me and his eyes seemed to widen an infinitesimal amount. I thought I saw a look of regret flash across his face, but I probably just imagined it to make myself feel better, as it was gone as soon as I saw it there. I didn't know what to say to him, but I could hear panting coming closer from down the hall, so I knew Edward or Emmett was about to come and take me back to my room. So, I decided to say the first thing that popped into my head.

"I was waiting for you," I stated simply, and then I turned around to be greeted by Emmett's hard chest. I grabbed his hand, and he started walking with me back to my room.

The whole way back Emmett didn't say anything and I was glad. If he had tried to console me or anything, I probably would have just burst into tears. I mean, this was just so irrational! I shouldn't care at all about what Jasper did with his spare time, or whom he did it with. I had only known him for a day for goodness sakes! And it was all his fault. If he weren't so damn perfect, then none of this would have ever happened.

When I got back into my room, I climbed onto my bed and crossed my arms over my chest. I looked angrily at the doorway, and I could feel Emmett looking at me as he sat next to my bed.

"Are you alright?" he asked worriedly.

"No I am not all right. I have known Jasper for one day and I already have a huge crush on him! And I just ran god knows how far to see him, just to find him being felt up by a beautiful, gorgeous slut! And I just had a seizure and he doesn't give a rat's ass about me or if anything bad happened to me. And I know that I am being completely irrational, because there is no way that someone like him would ever feel ANYTHING for a person like me, but I let myself hope he might have felt something for me. But what is my one rule? DON'T HOPE FOR ANYTHING! And I broke the one rule that I had for that asshole and now I feel as if I just want to cry for years but he didn't even do anything to me! And it just makes me feel worse knowing that I have no reason to be upset because he was never mine and he never will be, because I have only known him for ONE FREAKING DAY!" I screamed. I started panting like a maniac. I put my head in my hands and willed myself not to cry. I would not make myself even more pathetic then I already was.

I slowly looked up and saw Emmett surveying me.

"What?" I asked, glad that I had calmed down a bit.

"Just wondering if you know that you just looked like a complete psycho," he said calmly, looking at me with a smile on his face.

"Yes, I do thank you," I said coldly. After that, I thought back on how I must have looked, and accidentally let out a little giggle. And that giggle became a full-blown laugh. I laughed so hard that my sides started to hurt. I heard Emmett join in with his very low guffaw and I had to rub tears of laughter off my face.

When I had calmed down a bit, I realized I really was a psycho. One minute I had been ranting about Jasper, and then the next I had been laughing hysterically. This is just getting ridiculous.

"So, do you want me to go kick Jasper's ass for you?" Emmett asked kindly, cracking his knuckles ominously.

"No that's ok Emmett. I appreciate it though," I said, trying to get the courage up to ask him if he thought I really was crazy.

"Hey Emmett, do you think it's weird I already like Jasper so much even though I just met him?" I asked embarrassingly, getting it out as quickly as possible.

"Nah I don't Alice," he said, and at my raised eyebrow he continued to say, "Seriously, I'm not just trying to placate you. If I tell you a little story, will you believe me?" he asked.

"Ooh, I love stories!" I said excitedly, clapping my hands like a little kid. He laughed at my action, and then made himself comfortable in the chair next to my bed.

"Ok, this story starts four years ago when I was 16. It was my first day at school for that year, and I was working in the auto shop, cos I liked working on cars. I was in there all by myself, and then I heard the door slam open. But when the person walked into the room, I was still under the car I was working on. So I slid out from under it, and there was a gorgeous girl standing over me. She had long blonde hair and amazing legs and she was just all round beautiful. And the best part was, she was wearing a mini-skirt, which from my vantage point, I could see straight up," he said, winking at me. I shook my head, disbelief colouring my features.

"Hey, any self-respecting guy woulda looked up there, she was smoking!" he said, defending himself.

"Ok fine, now keep going."

"Ok, so she got pretty pissy cos she saw what I was doing, so she put her high heel on my chest and started slowly digging it in. And let me tell you that shit hurts!" he complained, rubbing his chest.

"Anyway, so I may have accidentally forgotten that she wasn't actually a guy when she did that so I grabbed her leg and twisted it slightly, so she fell onto the ground," he said.

I stared at him with disbelief again. "Emmett, that's just plain rude," I scolded him.

"Hey hey, don't worry the story has a happy ending. Anyway, once she was on the ground I rolled on top of her, but I kept all of my weight on my hands. Then I said, 'If you want to play dirty, you better be ready to get it just as much as you give it' and she just looked at me. Then she raised her head and kissed me on the lips," he said. He looked quite proud of himself.

"Oh come on, what self-respecting girl would ever let you get away with all that," I asked, not truly believing his story.

"Well that's the best part, she didn't let me get away with any of it. We were in the middle of this hot make-out session and then she suddenly kneed me in the balls. Then she just got up and walked away. Actually, I still don't know why she actually came into that room in the first place," he said thoughtfully, tapping his chin with his finger.

"How is that a happy ending? And how does that possibly relate to my situation?" I asked, wondering what his point was.

"Calm down Sprite, I'm not finished yet. The point is that after that day I couldn't stop thinking about her. Every minute of everyday she would always be on my mind. Whenever guys would talk about her in a perverted way, I would always clock em' in the face. I got so many detentions that year," he said wistfully. "When she found out what I had been doing for her, she slapped me and told me she could take care of herself. Then she said I could take her out to dinner that night," he said chuckling slightly.

He looked at my expression of incredulity and laughed again. "Yep that's my Rosie for you, she's definitely a firecracker," he said, still looking slightly amused.

"So, what happened to you guys?" I asked, hoping that it was indeed a happy ending. He raised his left hand in front of my face where a gold band was shining on it.

"Been married 6 months now, and never been happier," he said, smiling brightly. I smiled with him, glad that Emmett got his dream girl.

"Look, the thing is that I thought Rosie was way to good for me, so I just watched silently from the sidelines and tried to protect her when I could, but I always felt a connection to her, as lame as it sounds. And, as it turns out she felt the same way. I was just a hell of a lucky guy, but if I had actually grown some balls, I might've actually been able to ask her out sooner. So you never know Ali, Jasper could feel the same as you," Emmett said reassuringly.

"Don't say that," I whispered to him, trying to squash down the hope that was starting to blossom in my chest.

"Why not?" Emmett asked, looking confused. I just silently shook my head and tried to keep myself happy.

"Thanks for telling me that story Emmett, I appreciate it," I said, hoping he knew that I really meant it.

"No problem Shorty, but I should probably let you get some rest now," he said. He pulled himself up from his chair and then he dragged the blankets up to my shoulders. I gave him a sleepy smile and he kissed me sweetly on my forehead.

"Sleep well Pixie," he said, and then strode out of the room, closing the door and turning the light off on his way.

I settled myself into my blankets, and started imagining Emmett and his wife, and how happy they must be. I wish that I could get my dream guy, and that he would like me just as I did him.

But even though I knew I shouldn't dwell on it, I kept imagining him and the Mexican beauty. Were they together? Did he love her? Or did they just meet in the food court and Jasper was just having some fun? I didn't know which one I would rather. And I wondered if Jasper would go back to being a cold, indifferent bastard, or if he would go back to the sweet guy I met last night.

Thankfully, while I was thinking through these dilemmas I managed to fall asleep.

---

I walked into a house that seemed familiar, yet I knew I had never stepped foot in it before. Somehow I knew that my bedroom was at the end of the hall, and as I made my way there, I heard noises coming from behind the closed door. I slowly opened the door, and found two people in very revealing positions.

The man's head was between the woman's legs, and by the way her head was thrown back and the noises she was making, I'm sure he was doing a very adept job. I tried to close the door silently behind me so they didn't know I had found them, when the man suddenly turned towards me.

I gasped in surprise as I realized it was Jasper. The woman raised her head, and it was the Mexican beauty from the cafeteria. I felt like crying and screaming at the same time, but instead I just stood stock-still. I thought that out of respect for me they would stop, but instead Jasper's hand started to make his way up her thigh, while his eyes were still trained on mine.

I couldn't look away as his hand started to slowly stroke her, and as his other hand made slow circles with his thumb around her clit. She started making the noises again, but stopped as Jasper stepped away from her and pulled down his boxers. He then turned back around and placed his member at her entrance and then ploughed into her, making an animalistic sound as he did so.

I couldn't take it anymore, so I slammed the door shut and ran out of the house. I just kept running and running, realizing that I had no one and nothing to run to.

---

I woke up in the familiar bed, gasping for air. These dreams were getting so vivid, that it was hard to believe that they weren't true. When I finally had control of my breathing, I realized why I had woken up. There was someone sitting in my room next to my bed. It had gotten dark outside, so I didn't know who it was.

I closed my eyes and rubbed them, trying to get them to adjust to the rooms darkness. When I opened them again, I could see a little more clearly. When I looked beside me again, I didn't believe my eyes.

"Jasper?"

He didn't say anything as I sat in the darkness waiting for him to speak. But this wasn't fair. Whether he intentionally hurt me or not, he did still hurt me. And I wasn't going to let him just sit there in the dark and cause my heart any more havoc.

I was growing steadily more impatient as the silence in the room seemed to be pressing in all around me. So he was just going to sit there was he? He wasn't going to offer any explanation at all for the events of the past couple days? I had been on an emotional rollercoaster for the past couple days, and he was just going to sit there and say nothing? Well, not if I had anything to do with it.

So I slipped off the bed and crouched in front of him. Through the light filtering in through the blinds, I could see Jasper's face, and I gasped. When he was sleeping, his face looked vulnerable. He didn't have any emotion on his face except serenity. I wish I could see this side of him more often. This is the man that I could fall in- wait, what? No, I couldn't have just thought I could fall in love with him. That's just ridiculous.

I jumped in fright as Jasper grunted in his sleep. A beautiful smile had blessed his face, and it made my heart catch in my throat again. He was more beautiful then I could ever be. He was an angel sent down from heaven, but he wasn't my personal angel. He was destined for someone else, and as long as he was taking care of me, I was stealing away their life together, whoever that lucky person was. I was just another boring phase in his life, until he found his destiny, the person he was meant to be with.

My melancholy thoughts were interrupted when Jasper's hands shot out and grabbed my waist. I squealed in shock as he dragged me into his lap. I sat there in surprise, as still as a statue. I slowly looked down at Jasper, to see his eyes still closed, and his face still deep in slumber. Now, what the hell was that? Who the fuck grabs people in their sleep and drags them to their lap? It just doesn't happen, for fuck's sake.

I was getting fed up with Jasper's erratic behaviour, even if it was subconscious. As I tried to wiggle myself out of his arms, they tightened around me like a vice grip. I looked down at him again to see that he was still deeply asleep.

And as much as I was annoyed at Jasper, I couldn't help but melt into his strong arms, and I found that I was quite comfortable leaning against his hard and muscular chest. Well, as long as I was there, I may as well be comfortable. I rested my head in the crook between his neck and his shoulder. I took a breath in through my nose and could smell Jasper's heavenly scent. And their, in Jasper's arms, with his scent swirling around my head, I fell into a restful and dreamless sleep.

---

I awoke with a start, looking around at my surroundings in confusion. Where was I? Well, I was in my hospital room, but this is not the perspective my gaze usually takes when the dreaded opening of my eyes occurs, and I have to face another treacherous day in this ridiculously repetitive hospital.

Well, at least that was the way I used to think. Since I got Emmett, Edward and Jasper as my interns, my life seems to have a speck of light at the end of the tunnel, instead of the bleak gray expanse it used to be.

I jumped in surprise as I felt a mysterious object start to nuzzle my neck. My neck got whiplash at the speed it rotated around to absorb the beautiful and very surprised face of Jasper Cullen. I stared at him for a second, getting lost in his intense and beautiful eyes, which were still wide open. The expression on his face made him look like a deer caught in headlights.

Suddenly, I was heading for the floor, as Jasper stood up in a quick and swift motion. All the air in my lungs escaped my body in a "Whoosh" sound, as my bum made very very hard contact with the floor. And believe me, that shit hurts!

"Crap, Alice I'm so sorry," Jasper started apologizing profusely, reaching down to help me up. I reluctantly took his hand, and couldn't help but notice how perfectly they fit together, as if they were made for each other, as he hoisted me up and back onto my bed.

"That's Ok," I told him coldly, deciding to take a page from his book. If he was going wake me up- even if it was accidentally- in the middle of the night, practically force me onto his lap, right after he was as good as getting raped by that skank, and then expect me to be cordial, he had another thing coming.

"Right, umm ok," he said nervously, running a hand through his unruly blonde locks.

He looked truly out of place, looking around with confused and shocked eyes, as if he was trying to remember what happened last night, or why he was even here in the first place. So, I decided to help him out a bit.

"What are you doing here Jasper?" I said.

But somehow, I couldn't infuse my voice with the same cold frigidity that I had before. Just being in his presence calmed me down, and I would be the biggest lying fucker if I said I didn't like him just as much as I had yesterday afternoon.

"Well, you see Alice, yesterday in the cafeteria you looked kinda upset, and I wanted to make sure you were-" he suddenly cut himself off, as if he had just realised something. And then, I let out a depressed sigh and let the last bit of hope I had for Jasper fall out of my chest, as his face suddenly clouded over and the cold mask was back.

I hated that mask. I hated it with a big fucking fiery passion, and I wish I could just rip it from his too beautiful face, or repeatedly punch him in his perfectly straight nose until it was gone forever.

"I hadn't seen you since you had your seizure, and I was just coming to check your vitals were fine," he said indifferently, picking up the chart that was at the end of my bed.

"Well, as you can see Jasper, I'm really fucking fine, so you can go now. I'm sure you have a lot of other important shit going on, and I don't want to keep you," I said angrily. I had tried to reign it in, tried to not let him see just how much he was hurting me, but I guess I just wasn't as good as putting on masks as he was.

"Right, well I'll come and check on you in two hours," he said, and without a backward glance he stalked out of the room.

"Don't fucking bother," I whispered under my breath.

And then, I started to put my plan into action. If he was going to be an asshole and not explain to me about all the erratic behaviour that he has been displaying, then I am not going to be here for him to just ignore me feelings.

I jumped out of bed and quickly pulled on my street clothes, which I always kept close to me. I hurriedly went into the bathroom, stumbling a bit on the way there. I put on some light foundation, trying to get rid of the sickly pale colour my face had adapted since being in the hospital.

Then I used some scissors to cut off my hospital bracelet. I looked at myself in the mirror, and gave myself a nod of approval. Then I briskly made my way to the door of my room and stuck my head sneakily out into the hallway. I looked up and down, and seeing as I couldn't see anyone coming my way, I discretely made my way to the elevator.

I pressed the down button, and prayed there wouldn't be any doctors or nurses I knew in there.

I thanked the gods as the smooth, silver metal doors opened to show no one occupying the small room. I hastily ran into the tiny space and pressed the ground floor button. As the doors slowly slid closed, I pressed the button again and again, getting very impatient and agitated, as I knew that this was going to be the hard part.

When the doors finally opened to the lobby, I tried to look as casual as possible, and by some miracle, I made it out the hospital doors without anyone recognizing me. I punched my little fist in the air and started jumping up and down. This was not my smartest idea ever, as my head suddenly felt as if had been dropped into a pit of lava and my insides felt as if a red-hot poker was rummaging through them. I gasped in pain, and swiftly made my way to an alcove in the hospitals brick wall, where hopefully no one could see me.

I took deep and painful breaths, in and out, in and out, concentrating on trying to stop the circus of pain going on inside my body. When I started to feel normal again, I dragged myself out of my comfortable sitting position and started to make my way to the taxi bay.

When I finally reached a startlingly bright yellow taxi, it took all my strength to open the thick metal door, and then I collapsed onto its smelly and uncomfortable seats. The scratchy material of the felt burned my face, as I rummaged in my shallow pockets for some of the only money I had left.

The driver looked back at me with startled eyes, but he didn't ask any questions as I threw two one hundred-dollar bills at him. I gave him the address I wanted to him to take me to, and then I let darkness take over my vision.

I awoke to an anxious voice, yelling at me words that I could not make out. I opened my eyes blearily, wishing that sleep would overtake me again. I hoisted myself up into a sitting position, glad to feel that I was feeling slightly more alive after my short nap- or my short bout of unconsciousness. Somehow, they both felt the same to me.

I brought my gaze upwards, locking my eyes with the frantic pupils of my taxi driver.

"I'm sorry," I quickly apologized, as I really didn't mean to worry him.

As I looked around, I could see we had already reached our destination. I wondered how long he had been trying to desperately wake me up, hoping that he was not worried enough to consider calling a hospital. I thanked him as politely as I could, while thinking of possible escape plans if a member of the hospital did show up. I then jumped out of the taxi onto the hard, gravelly surface of the sidewalk.

I brought my hand up to shield my eyes from the sudden onslaught of dust and debris, as the taxi's wheels screeched against the dark road, and sped off down the street. He was obviously desperate to put as much space between him and myself as possible.

As I turned around, the memory of the taxi driver already forgotten, I started to make my way down the jagged and uneven footpath. I followed it through the myriad of streets, then down through the randomly placed trees, and through the dense undergrowth of the grass, which had managed to wheedle itself onto the gray expanse of the footpath. I was walking for so long that I lost track of time, and when I was suddenly at my destination, it gave me a shock of surprise.

As I gazed at the brown telegraph pole, I realised that I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to face this onslaught of emotion. I wasn't ready to face the memories that plagued me from gazing upon the strong and tall pole, adorned with many flowers that were put there to acknowledge and mourn the memory of my family.

I gasped in a ragged breath, and realised that this was a mistake. I shouldn't have come here. Why couldn't I have just sat in my hospital room like a good, obedient girl? Why couldn't I have just let myself crawl deeper and deeper into myself until nothing and no one else mattered? Why couldn't I have just withered away, until I was only a shell of my former self? Why couldn't I have just let my illness overtake me, until I inevitably became prisoner to the clutches of death, where I would hopefully finally see my family again? Because I just can't leave well enough alone, now can I?

I dragged myself back up the path, and before I knew it, I was running, running with everything I had left in me. I sprinted up the path and away from everything that hurt, everything that caused me pain, everything that had destroyed my life. I kept running until my surroundings all blurred together, until I couldn't discern a tree from a house, a person from an animal, until the pain that tore at my heart had consumed me.

And then I felt myself falling. I felt a pool of blood surrounding me. I didn't know where it came from, if it was mine, or if it was someone else's, and frankly, I didn't care. All I knew was that I could feel my life slowly leaking out of my body, and with it, the promise that I might soon be able to see my family again.

---

The feeling that my mind and brain was covered in white, dense wool consumed me as I could feel it slowly lifting from my mind. My eyes felt as if they were super glued together, and even if I could have freed my vision from its prison, I don't think I would have.

I could hear the murmur of voices around me, and cursed my luck as I realised I could recognize them, but they were not the voices I was longing to hear.

It was not the loud laugh of my little sister, or the gentle words of my mother. It was not the joking and deep voice of my father, or the flippant and attitude filled voice of my older sister.

It was the cautious and concerned voice of Carlisle, the deep and uncharacteristically serious voice of Emmett. The calm and collected voice of Edward, and though I could not hear him speaking, the silent and remorseful presence of Jasper.

I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to be amongst people who were burdened with me, who were forced to look after me. I wanted to be surrounded by feelings of love and companionship. I wanted to be held in mother's arms, to feel my sister's miniscule hand in mine. I wanted to hear the deep rumbling voice of my father, and feel his strong, warm hands patting me on the head.

But instead, I had cold fingers feeling the pulse point at my wrist. Sharp and uncomfortable needles sticking out of my arms, as if I were a pincushion. Thick bandages wrapped around the bottom of my head. Stiff, secure tape binding my fingers. None of this exactly screamed love or caring.

Keeping my mouth closed and not making a sound was one of the hardest things to do in my life, when I felt a warm hand come into contact with the curve of my neck. I felt the callused fingers travel along my jaw, and then rest on my cheek, stroking the soft flesh there.

It was hard to not open my eyes and gaze at whoever this person was, because the gesture was so careful and so full of love that I thought my heart would burst. I didn't want to ruin the moment by seeing who it was, or opening my eyes, because either choice would most likely cause this person to withdraw their hand, which would cause me endless suffering.

I sat there in silence, seemingly floating along a cloud, filled with feelings of peace and prosperity. I absorbed these feelings and clinged onto them for all I was worth. I tried to brand the way I was feeling permanently into my mind, as as soon as it was over, I'm sure it would feel as if this was just a mirage, an illusion of hope.

Then the inevitable happened. This seemingly unimportant and irrelevant hand that had filled me to the brim with happiness and peace, pulled away from me. Albeit reluctantly, I opened my eyes, to behold my room free of trespassers. This confused me thoroughly.

Had I just dreamed it? No, that's silly. I may be fucked up, but I'm not that fucked up. Or was I? I had probably pushed my physical limits to the maximum when I performed that stupid stunt. Had I really thought that it was that important to see the site my family had died? And if it was really that I important, I'm sure I could've asked Emmett to take me.

I heard footsteps gradually coming closer to my room. They were not footsteps I recognized, and I wasn't expecting anyone new today. Or was I? If a new doctor or something was coming to see me, it had probably slipped through the cracks in my memory, during the turmoil of the past couple days.

I sat up straight in my bed, and tried to straighten the chaos that was my hair, and smoothed down my hospital gown, futilely attempting to make the permanent creases disappear. You never know whom your going to meet here, and now at least I didn't look too shabby.

I fixed the new occupant of my room with a sharp gaze, and subconsciously sunk deeper into the torrent of pillows and blankets surrounding me. I knew this person. I despised this person. I hated this person with every fibre in my being.

If you could look back on the worst moment of your life and say, "Yep, that one person made the whole ordeal worse then it ever had to be," this person would be my choice. This woman as they call her, questioned me endlessly even though there had been tears streaming down my face, blood making its way into my shirt, and heartbreaking sobs coming erratically out of my chest.

'What happened.' 'How did it happen.' 'Whose fault was it.' 'Could anything have been done to prevent it.' 'Why did it happen.' 'Was your father drinking.' 'Were your mother and father fighting.' 'Were you and your siblings fighting.' 'What kind of mood was everyone in.' 'Where were you going.' 'Why were you going there.' 'Did everyone want to go.'

On and on it went. It never stopped. By the end of it, all I wanted to do was wrench that pretty little face off her neck. She was a therapist. She was supposed to help people after tragic accidents had befallen them or their family. She was also supposed to extract crucial information from the victim, while also trying to comfort them and making sure they are all right.

This hag didn't do any of that. She got the information from me, but instead of asking nicely, it was as if she was pulling it out of my throat with a pair of pliers. For goodness sakes, my whole family had just died in a car accident! I had almost died, but was lucky enough to escape with just a couple deep scratches and bruises. Obviously, she deemed two hours after an accident of that magnitude to be enough grieving time.

Therapist my ass.

"Alice, so great to see you again," she said coldly, fixing me with a critical eye, not unlike Jasper's. I visibly winced when I thought of his name, and she obviously thought it was because of her. I saw a flash of satisfaction cross her face, before she turned it back into her cold mask. So much like Jas-NO! I have to stop thinking of him!

"You to Jane," I spat through my teeth, while trying to keep my cool. I don't know why I was even trying to be cordial. She may be the bitch from hell, but I'll be damned if I sunk down to her level.

"So, you ran away from the hospital. Tut tut tut Alice, don't you know your not supposed to run away from the people who are trying to help you?" she said in a patronizing tone, emphasizing the word help.

I wanted to throttle her so much right now, that it took all of my will power to refrain. I opted instead to fix her with a deathly glare. She just looked up at me and smiled. I growled lowly under my breath, not being able to stop myself.

"I wanted to go…visit some people," I told her, trying to stay calm.

"Who were these people?" "Where do they live?" Why were you trying to see them?" "If they hadn't come to visit you in the hospital, wouldn't that send the message that they didn't want to see you?" she asked, all the while keeping a beatific smile on her too perfect face. It was just like the last time, except this time I was stronger, and I wouldn't let her bully me around with this shit anymore.

"If anyone wants to know where I went, they have to send someone other then you in here to find out, because there is no way in the fiery pits of hell that I will ever, ever tell you," I said angrily, short of breath when I finished speaking.

She looked at me with a shocked expression for half a second, then it smoothed over into an evil smile again.

"Alice, I'm being paid to listen to you. Without the bribe of money, why would anyone want to listen to you babble on?" she asked coldly.

Ok, I gotta admit. She's good. That one hit me right where it hurts. But then I realized something. I wasn't alone anymore. If I asked real nice, there would be four- ok, maybe three- other people that would, probably, most likely listen to me.

The thought filled me with hope, and also with newfound confidence. I looked up at her and smiled, with what I hoped would be a bedazzling (yes, bedazzling) and beautiful smile.

"Either my doctor, or one of my three,"-I couldn't really explain to her that only two of them would listen-, "interns I'm sure would be happy to listen to me," I told her, baring all my teeth.

She stared at me for a moment, then she turned around in a huff, and stalked out the door without a sound.

I did a little happy dance, filled with relief and ecstasy, as I realized that I had finally beaten that little bitch at her own game. I closed my eyes and continued to dance and completely let loose, trying to have as much fun as I could, before I had to relive the details of that fateful day.

"You should really be more careful, you don't want to hurt yourself," I heard a familiar voice say. I opened my eyes and locked gazes with the infamous Jasper Cullen.

Why. Why does he have to be so formal and beautiful and amazing and- well that about sums it up. I looked at his face a moment longer and then looked down at my hands, squeezing together and moving a part, squeezing and moving a part.

"I'll try," I whispered, unable to say anything more then that. Why did it have to be him? It was as if Jane had a sixth sense to be able to cause people pain. Otherwise, what are the chances that the only person in the four people I told her about that I didn't want to have her ask, was the person she asked. If that makes sense.

"So, what's the story?" he asked, dragging a chair so that it made a horrible squeaking sound, along the linoleum floor and next to my bed. As he folded himself into a comfortable position upon what looked to be a very uncomfortable chair, I was filled with annoyance.

So what if he was my doctor. He was being an asshole to me, and suddenly I had to open up and tell him about my life story? I don't think so.

"Isn't Edward, Emmett or Carlisle here?" I asked hopefully.

I thought I saw a flash of pain cross his face, but I couldn't be sure. He held his hands together, looking at them as if they were the most interesting things in this world.

"Emmett and Edward went home. They've had a long day, they needed to rest," he said calmly, still examining his hands.

I felt a twinge of remorse. As I was their only patient, then I must have been the cause of their distress and long hours.

"Carlisle is tending to other patients, he doesn't have time to listen to children's tales," he stated, finally looking at me over the tips of his fingers.

Children's tale? CHILDREN'S TALE? If he wants a fucking child's tale, I could give him one.

"What are your preferences? Beauty and the Beast? Snow White and the Seven Dwarves? Perhaps you are more inclined towards the story of Sleeping Beauty?" I asked him, trying to imitate his cool and calm voice. Somehow, I didn't think I was doing it to well.

"What?" he asked, his expression bemused.

"Jasper, if you want a child's tale, go read a fucking fairytale," I spat at him, turning so I wouldn't have to look at him anymore, and trying to ignore the thrill that went through me when I said his name.

"Alice," he said, and his tone seemed a notch warmer then before, though it still held too much coldness for me.

"Look, either tell me about it, or I can always call Jane back in here. It's your choice." He said, all his defenses back up, fully reinforced.

"Fine," I said huffily, turning around and being confronted with a cold, impersonal statue.

"There was a car crash 6 months ago, my family died, I survived, I went to visit the crash site today," I said in one breath. I looked up at him and saw him writing down notes. Great, so now he was taking fucking notes about my life. Fan fucking tastic.

He let out a deep breath, and then locked my gaze in those hard, cold eyes, which I knew could be deep and soulful.

"You need to tell me more then that, I need to know everything to have an accurate account," he told me sternly. Jeez, he sounded like a fucking student listening to a lecture.

I resigned myself to my fate. It looked like whether he or I wanted it to happen or not, he was about to hear my dreary and bloody tale.

"Fine, but it may take a while," I said grumpily. "Oh, and I'll only tell you about my story, if you tell me how I got back here after my-er-accident," I said bargaining, as I was actually very curious as to how they had found me.

"Fine," Jasper said, waving a hand at me, as if to tell me to continue.

And then I started to recount to him the worst day of my life.

"So, it all started 6 months and a couple of days ago," I started, already dreading the words that would be soon pouring out of my mouth.

"My dad suddenly decided that it would be a wonderful idea to drive," I said, laughing at the memory.

I looked to Jasper, and saw him raise an eyebrow at me.

"What do you mean, to drive?" he asked.

"I mean, he told us too pack a bag, fill it with clothing for all occasions, grab some food, get in the car, and that we would just drive wherever the road took us," I said, feeling a wave of sadness wash over me. It was times like these that the magnitude of what I had lost stabbed at my heart. I shook myself to get rid of those depressed and miserable thoughts.

"What made it even more amusing and shocking was that at the time this magnificent idea struck him, he was in the middle of a work conference, and we were in the middle of a school day. But that didn't stop him, oh no. He left work without any explanation, and then drove up to the school and fed them some cock and bull story to get us out of class. Actually, I still don't know what he told them," I said, tapping my chin thoughtfully.

"Anyway, so me, my little sister Cynthia and my older sister Mary all packed into his small company car, and he told us about his harebrained scheme. We were used to this kind of thing by now, he did these types of things a lot. He said that it was good to keep the mystery and spontaneity in life," I described, focusing on my fingers, as I recalled the events as if they were yesterday.

"So we got home, and Mary was complaining about something trivial, like not being able to say goodbye to her boyfriend and friends. She was very popular, and although she may have seemed like a bitch on the surface, she was still an amazingly beautiful and kind person." I explained, attempting to hold the tears that were threatening to escape at bay.

"When we walked in the door, we all went straight to our rooms and started packing. We knew better then to argue with Dad when he was hit with a supposedly 'spectacularly brilliant' idea," I said, using air quotation marks.

"What happened next?" Jasper asked in a soft tone, after I paused for a moment. He obviously sensed that this was not the best time to act as if there was a metal pole shoved up his ass.

I took a deep breath, not knowing if I could describe it all that well. If I was going to tell Jasper what truly happened, and in a way he understood all the tiny details, then I was going to have to do the story justice. I didn't want to leave anything out. My family deserved at least that much.

"So once we were all packed up, and we had everything we would need for all types of weather, we all packed back into the car. My mum was already sitting in the front. She had come to accept this side of my dad, and I think it made them both love each other a little more," I revealed, remembering the way they used to look lovingly into each other's eyes, as if there was no one else in the room. Though my sister's used to always yell at them to 'get a room' and such, I, ever the romantic, had found it so special and beautiful. It had always amazed me that they had been married for over 20 years, and they still acted around eachother as if they were newlyweds.

I wish that one day I could find that kind of connection with someone. Involuntarily, my eyes took a sideways glance at Jasper. He was so beautiful, especially when he was deep in thought. It looked as if he was so immersed and absorbed in the story I was weaving that he didn't even notice my silence. I didn't want to break his concentration, so I continued without hesitation.

"So as soon as all our seatbelts were securely buckled in, and we were safe and secure, my dad sped off down the road. He was a real speed demon, he was," I said, telling myself that I could laugh at the good times. I didn't have to be ashamed to be happy.

As I looked at Jasper's seraphic face, I spotted him looking at me intensely. By the look in his eyes, it seemed as if he could tell what I was thinking. Out of my peripheral vision, I saw his hand twitch forward an inch, as if to grab mine, but then after a moment of deliberation, I saw it settle on his lap again.

"Ok, so we were off down the road, and dad was telling us some atrocious joke, which was hilarious just by the essence of how bad it was," I said, smiling as the deluge of jokes my dad had told us over the years harassed my mind, each one worse then the last. "So then we started heading down a side street. I still claim that we were lost, but of course my dad just said, 'No, it's just a short cut, I know what I'm doing,'" I relayed.

"Knew what he was doing my ass, he was lost and he was just too proud to admit it. Though, it was entertaining to see my mother staring him down, trying to bend him to her will and get him to stop and ask for directions. Though I don't know where we would've stopped anyway. I hadn't seen any sign of human civilization for hours. Little did we know, we had gone in a complete circle and were along the back streets of Mississippi, only about 20 minutes from our house."

I thought about how stupid we had been. If one of us had just spent a little more time studying a map, maybe my family would be surrounding my bed at this point in time. But I knew that there was no point in dwelling over 'what ifs'. They just didn't help anymore.

"So, we were driving along this little side road when it started raining. And I don't just mean a little sun shower, I mean a torrential of rain was battering our car at every side and angle. It appeared that my dad hadn't checked the weather reports, but that was just how he was. He only thought up the 'brilliant' ideas, he didn't really put much thought behind them." I was starting to get a little teary, but I didn't want to breakdown in front of Jasper. Anyway, I had cried enough for a lifetime.

"So we were driving along, and Cynthia was starting to get a little frightened. You have to understand, it was dark and raining and thunder was starting to add to the grand horror show. All we had to light our way was the meager light the car headlights allowed us," I told him seriously, glad that he wasn't looking my way, but rather at the wall behind me. It would have been too hard to recount my story with his eyes piercing my soul.

"I think my parents were getting a tad worried as well, but they tried to stay strong for us. They didn't want to scare us, but I could tell it was getting to them. We would all jump and sometimes let out a little squeal whenever we caught sight of a furry animal in the dense coverage of the forest framing us on either side. Regardless, we kept on driving. I think we were all anxious to reach a hotel, or at least a service station, and be rid of this nightmare. My dad suggested that we stop, but thoughts of being stuck out in the middle of nowhere disturbed all our thoughts, and we preferred to stay on the road."

We were all so idiotic. Why couldn't we just swallow our fear and sleep on the side of the road for the night? Were we all really stupid enough to believe then that it was safer to drive in the blizzard of rain that consumed us all?

"We kept driving, and after about 10 minutes, something happened," I cried, not strong enough to keep the few tears that streaked down my face behind my eyelids.

"A deer. It was a stupid deer!" I yelled. I knew I was probably attracting unwanted attention but I didn't care. If I was going to tell my story I was going to get it out however I could.

"That stupid freaking deer just ran out in front of our car. Just ran straight in front of it! And when something like that happens, you don't think you just react!" I shouted, desperately trying to convince him.

"Jasper, it wasn't his fault! My daddy did want anyone would have done! He swerved the car. He didn't know what it was that went in front of the car, he just reacted!" I repeated, trying to keep my sobs down so that he could understand me. He looked as if he wanted to comfort me somehow, but as if he didn't know how. Oh well, I had to get this out. I had to tell him.

"And then we were spinning. I didn't think it would ever end! Just round and round and round we went. And then we went forwards and backwards and around again. And then when we were finally stationary, all I was aware of was a strong pain in my face and stomach. And it was hot. It was so hot and all I wanted to do was get away from the heat. But I panicked! Jasper, you have to know, I panicked! I thought I was helping! All I wanted to do was help," I was grabbing at his arm now, trying to communicate to him how important this fact was. He looked at me with concerned eyes and slowly pried my steel like grip off of his arm.

I felt as if I had been rejected. Did he not believe me? I panicked I really did, anyone would have, I just panicked. I was helping, I tried to help, that's all I was doing. But then he grasped my hands with his, and I felt myself fill with hope. Maybe he did believe me!

"Alice, sweetie, what do you mean?" he asked kindly, and my heart leapt when he called me sweetie. I realized that I hadn't been making any sense. I focused and arranged my thoughts so I could help him to understand. The constant feel of his large hands encasing mine in his own helped me to focus sharply.

"I was scared," I said in a small voice. "I managed to disentangle myself from the wreckage and then I tried to find them. I looked for them in the car. I looked for them under it and over it and through it, I really did. But, Jazz, it hurt so much. My stomach felt as if it had been stabbed open with knives, and my face felt as if the flesh was being burnt clean off," I said, surprisingly keeping my voice calm.

"What happened to your stomach and face?" he asked.

I reluctantly let go of his hand, and arranged my blankets so that they covered my bottom half. Then I reached under my sheets and pulled up my hospital gown, to reveal to him the long, puckered scar along the soft skin there.

I heard a small intake of breath from him, as he slowly extended his finger, holding it about an inch above the scar. He seemed to deliberate for a moment, and then slowly, he lifted his head till his eyes were looking at me through his thick black eyelashes.

"May I?" he asked politely, cocking his head towards my stomach.

I nodded in affirmation. The anticipation of him touching me again was making my skin crawl, and made my breath quicken slightly. I hoped he didn't notice, and when his finger slowly stroked the scar, I really didn't care. It felt as if his soft and caring touch was searing closed the scar, as if it had never been there in the first place. He traced the entire length of it, from a few inches below my right breast and all the way along to the top of my left hipbone. The doctors said that with time it would eventually fade to a fine pick line. Unfortunately, time was one thing that I was not blessed with.

"It's kinda gross, isn't it?" I said in an undertone, not really wanting to ruin the moment, but knowing that one of us would have to do it eventually.

His intensely blue eyes gazed up at me, and I swear I heard him whisper something that sounded strangely like, "Beautiful."

He then withdrew his hand and sat back in his chair. I noticed that the pieces of paper he had been previously using to take notes had been discarded on the floor, obviously forgotten.

"So, how did you actually attain these scars?" he asked, indicating my face and stomach.

I pulled down my gown again, pondering my answer while getting comfortable. Who knew how I got scarred? It could have been a multitude of things.

"I dunno, probably some glass from the windows and windshield, or maybe some of the metal from the car. Your guess is as good as mine," I said nonchalantly, shrugging my shoulders as I did so. As I looked at him process this new information, I was ecstatically happy to see that the cold mask was not yet back. He was still my Jasper. Ok, that can't be good. He's not mine, and he never will be.

I decided that I should probably finally get this over with once and for all, so I plunged right back into my story, head first.

"So I was looking around and in the car, trying to see if I could spot the members of my family. I thought I discerned from the wreckage the lilac bow that Cynthia had tied to her hair that morning, but I couldn't be sure if anything was attached to it. Stupidly, even though I was surveying the damage with my own eyes, I still clung to hope that they would all be all right-,"

"It is not stupid to believe, or have hope"

I was surprised when I heard Jasper interrupt. Before he looked as if he were to absorbed in the story to think of interrupting it, but I was glad that he did. I often chastised myself on the stupidity of clinging to an irrational and improbable hope.

I nodded at him gratefully, but didn't break in relaying my tale. If I stopped now, I may never be able to start again. Or, I may become an unstoppable banshee again. Neither of which I was particularly found of occurring.

"So, I was desperately looking around, thinking that if I searched long enough maybe I could save one of them from there. But I didn't search long enough. Maybe if I had stayed just a little longer, I could've saved even one of them. Just one would have been enough. It would have been better then this," I said in a small voice, staring dejectedly at the ground.

Jasper seemed to know that I just had to deal with this on my own, and so he sat still and waited for me to regain my composure.

I was being an idiot. I was just retelling events, which had happened to me months ago. Okay, so they were some pretty painful events, but I just had to accept it! Why was this so hard?

"But I gave up. I couldn't see anyone and I knew that if I had any hope of getting anyone out alive, I would have to find some other people, with machines and stuff, to help. So I walked. I don't even know how far I walked. All I remember is that it hurt. It all hurt. It hurt to be away from my family. It hurt to have the rocks from the road sticking into my bare feet. It hurt to have the rain pelting into my open wounds. And the knowledge that I kept deep inside hurt. The knowledge that my family wasn't going to be okay and that the rest of my life was probably going to be just as it was then. Cold and alone," I finished, knowing that the hard part was now over. Every other detail was quick and short. I'm sure it was getting hard for him to understand me through all the tears anyway.

"So eventually I found a police station, and cars and cars of people found my family. Everyone helped pull apart the car carefully, but so much time had already passed since the crash, they were all already dead. The authorities surmised that they died on impact and that I was extremely lucky," I spat.

"Lucky my ass. Anyway, I was checked into this very hospital, and during x-rays they discovered the infection ailing me. And here we are, 6 months later," I concluded, finally bringing my gaze up to meet Jasper's, his eyes staring fiercely into mine.

He was silent for a while, but I was content to just stare into his beautiful baby blues, treasuring this moment of companionship. He raised his hand and lightly brushed the remnants of my tears off my face.

He simply stared into my eyes, and I didn't know how long we just sat there gazing at each other, but it could have been forever and it wouldn't have been long enough.

Without breaking the contact of our eyes, he slowly leaned forward, and lay a light kiss upon my forehead. I closed my eyes at the contact, and breathed in his heady scent, being overwhelmed at the proximity of our bodies.

He pulled back again and then gently lay his hands on both of my shoulders.

"Alice," he whispered gently and then paused, as if trying to find the right words to say, the words that would do what he was thinking the most justice.

"What you went through, nobody should have to endure. It is the blackest kind of blasphemy that it would happen to a person as good, beautiful and wholesome as you. I am ever so sorry that you have to be burdened with this pain, and I wish with all of my being that I could somehow take it from you," he whispered.

My breath caught in my throat as his words were processed though my mind. It was probably the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me.

I gave him a small watery smile, and realized how pathetic I must look. I should really try to be happier in the future, and not live the last of my days in vain.

"Thank you for listening," I said, pulling on the bottom of his hair, hoping to break the intense mood that was enveloping us into its depths.

His beautiful and carefree laugh filled the room at my gesture, and he playfully pushed me back onto my bed, pulling the sheets up around my shoulders.

"Now you, little one, need to rest. You look as if you're about to pass out on me," he said, smiling a gorgeous smile.

I glared at him, and was about to protest, when a huge yawn overtook me. I hadn't even realized how tired I was until he pointed it out.

He laughed at me again, and after one last look at me, he started to make his way out of my room.

"Jasper, wait!" I called.

He turned around and fixed me with a small smile.

"What is it darlin'?" he asked, with a slight southern twang. Huh, I had never noticed that before.

"What about your end of the bargain? You have to tell me about how you guys found me, if you found me at all," I said, not letting him go that easily.

His beautiful laugh filled the room again, and he winked at me before saying, "In the morning darlin', when you can listen properly."

Before I lost my nerve I called out to him one last time.

"Jasper! Will you still be my Jasper in the morning?" I asked him, worried about his answer. A part of me really didn't want to ask the question, and didn't want him to answer it. But a bigger part of me wanted this riddle solved. I wanted to know if I could rely on him, if I could trust him as a friend and a confidante, if I could count on seeing his beautiful smile everyday. Because otherwise, he had the potential to hurt me more then any life threatening disease ever could.

"What do you mean darlin'?" he asked obviously confused. I could see his eyes narrow in concentration, trying to figure out what I said.

"The nice one, the one I like. My Jasper. Not the mean one that makes me sad," I explained, knowing that I probably could have worded it a bit more sophisticatedly, but dammit I was tired.

Through my half-lidded eyes, I could see his face drop a fraction, and as he turned towards the door and turned off the light, sending the room into the pitch black of night, I swear I heard him murmur, "Who knows these days."

With those words swirling around and around in my mind, I let the whispers of sleep consume me, but not before one panicked thought managed to dash across my mind.

"Will he leave me too?"

---

When the first rays of the morning sun swathed my room in a bright halo of light, I stretched my body slowly out along my bed. I didn't want to wake up. That had been one of the best nights of sleep I have had in a long time.

I looked around my room, stupidly expecting to see Jasper sitting next to me, or sitting in the corner of the room, ready to greet me with a smile, and maybe a hug? I guess all that time that I spent with him has damaged my head in irreparable ways.

Then I remembered what he had told me as he was leaving. 'Who knows these days.' Who knows these days? Well, usually a person knows whether they like or don't like someone. I didn't really think it was that hard to decide to be someone's friend or not.

But maybe, just maybe, he might not want to be my friend because he knows how much I like him. He must have seen it in my eyes. I guess I was being kind of obvious, but who could help it when your around him non-stop? Just breathing in his scent, or staring into his eyes made me want to hold onto him tight and never let him go.

Well, I would just have to get over this slight obsession. It would be better to be just his friend, instead of nothing at all. Wouldn't it?

My internal monologue was interrupted when a pair of ridiculously big binoculars poked there way into my room. They were big and round and covered in the camouflaged colours of green and brown. They swiveled to the left, and then the right, before finally focusing on me.

The binoculars were lowered, and I was faced with the image of Emmett standing there with the binoculars hanging around his neck. He then looked at me with a critical eye, and without breaking my gaze, raised a walkie-talkie to his lips, and whispered into the device, "10 4 Edward, subject is situated in bed."

He then slowly made his way over to me, and tentatively placed his massive hand over my forehead.

He then raised the walkie-talkie back to his lips, and murmured, "Subject appears to have a normal temperature. Subject also has normal rate of breath intake. Does not appear to have done any sort of extensive running." He then waited a moment and nodded.

"Roger that, brown bear out."

I rolled my eyes when I realized what he was doing.

"Emmett, I'm sorry that I ran out of here without telling anyone where I was going, I know it was dangerous but I just felt suffocated here," I whined, hoping he wouldn't get me in any type of trouble.

He just looked down at me, then he slowly reached out his fingers ad flicked me across the nose.

"Ow!" I exclaimed, rubbing my tender nose.

"Ok, now you're forgiven," Emmett declared in a singsong voice, as his face broke into a massive smile.

I tried to swat his massive body away, but it wasn't exactly the easiest thing to do. His huge muscled arms enveloped me into a tight hug and I felt so happy that he seemed to like me so much. I know I already loved him as if he was my big brother.

"So Sprite, Jazz told us about your little adventure, and what you were doing when you were running away. I can't say I blame you but-,"

"Wait, you've talked to Jasper?" I interrupted, looking up at him with huge eyes.

He looked down and solemnly nodded at me.

"Well where is he? Is he coming to see me anytime soon?" I asked hopefully.

Emmett looked down at his shoes, scuffing them along the floor, avoiding my eyes. This action alone let me know that things were not good, not good at all. What if something terrible had happened to him? I was going to go crazy at the speed with which pictures of Jasper dead in a ditch, in the ocean, in the dumpster flickered through my mind. But Emmett was Jasper's brother. I'm sure he would be a bit more upset if Jasper were dead.

"Emmett, what happened?" I asked, trying to stay calm.

"Well you see Shorty, there was a kind of accident, and well, Jasper is getting stitched up in a room not too far from yours," he finally blurted out.

I couldn't see. Well, there had to be a reason for that. Maybe it was tied to the reason that my head was spinning around wildly, or that my stomach suddenly felt the urge to empty its contents all over the floor.

But before I could succumb to that urge, I felt the world cut out around me, with only one thought circulating through my mind.

"Jasper's hurt."

---

"I thought something terrible had happened to you," I whispered to him, scared that he would run away from me, with his tail tucked between his legs.

"But darlin', I promised that I would tell you how we found you. How could I do that if something had happened to me?" he asked quizzically, with a hint of humour shining in his eyes.

He leaned closer to me and said in a stage whispered voice, "Can I tell you a secret?"

I nodded, letting a giggle escape from between my lips.

"We Cullen men, we don't break our promises," he told me with a wink.

---

"The taxi driver called the hospital and told us there was something not quite right with a passenger he just picked up from our hospital. He said that this girl got in and she looked as if she was very sick. He also gave us your exact description, right down to your cute little button nose," Jasper explained, lightly touching his finger to the tip of my nose.

"I knew that there was something shifty about that driver," I murmured, smiling slightly as Jasper's boisterous laugh filled the room, and trying not to blush at his casual touch.

"Well I would love to stay here and chat, but I have something I need to do," Jasper told me quietly, a mischievous glint shining in his eyes.

"Oh really, and what would this be?" I asked him, in what I hoped was a nonchalant voice, as if I didn't really care.

"Oh, you'll find out soon enough darlin',"

And with that he shooed me out of his hospital room door.

---

"Jasper, why do you keep changing? I miss you when you aren't you. I want to know why. What are hiding from me?" I asked quietly.

"Alice, darlin', I met you. I didn't even know you. And already, I knew that I had the potential to one day fall in love with you. But I knew about your infection. And I also seem to find a way to fuck up all my relationships, and the person I'm in the relationship with. I didn't want to hurt you, or myself. But now, it seems, I just can't stay away."

"Wouldn't it be easier then? To just ignore me? To pretend I never existed? I won't be around much longer, I don't want to hurt you if it is unnessecary and avoidable," I reassured him, trying to get away, trying to give him a chance at leading a normal life.

Jasper's deep chuckle filled the room, and I looked up in confusion.

"Darlin, now, I couldn't stay away if I tried. Because, as much as it may hurt when I can't hold you in my arms anymore, I wouldn't give up my time with you for anything. Cause' there is something I haven't told you. Something that it is very important that you know," he said, gesturing me closer with his fingers until his forehead was gently pressed to mine.

"Meeting you gave my life meaning. Meeting you gave my life hope. And I'm not giving that up for anything," he whispered sweetly, his cool breath fanning across my face.

As his words caressed my face, my heart started to beat double time, as his words struck a chord. I frowned slightly, and started shaking my head.

"No Jasper, you have got it all wrong," I started, looking deep into his curious eyes.

"Meeting you, it gave my life meaning, it gave my life hope. Meeting you made me want to survive."

---

I opened my eyes, already knowing that Jasper would be where he was, sitting right next to my bed.

I barely took any notice of his bandaged hand as I slowly reached my hand out and stroked his face.

"Jasper, we are going to be alright, aren't we?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"As long as we're together darlin', I don't see why not."