Revenge on Binky
By NocturneD
Note: Another random story with crack type humor. Do not say I did not warn you. Also, do not give me crap saying the characters are not in character, its fanfiction and if you do not like that. Go watch the show this is fun time.
Binky let out a huge fart to interrupt another one of Mr. Ratburn's lessons. It was so loud; it startled Mr. Ratburn as it drove the piece of chalk he was writing with off course leaving a huge white line across the chalkboard. Worse, it was loud as a foghorn and smelled like rotten eggs and garbage. To make matters worse, it was a cold winter morning and the heater was on full blast intensifying the smell. The children quickly let out a roar of laughter then suddenly covered their noses from the awful stench. Binky Barnes; the large bulldog boy sat with his hands behind his head, smiling at his handy work.
"Eck!" Muffy covered her nose.
"What an infuriating smell!" The Brain waved the stench away from his face.
"Smells worse than my aunt's tuna fish casserole!" Jenna coughed.
"Binky Barnes that is very rude and unpleasant." Mr. Ratburn coughed as he turned around with his hands on his hips.
"I am sorry." Binky smirked.
Mr. Ratburn shook his head in disbelief that a child like that could release such a powerful smell. He walked over to the classroom door to let out the bad smell so it could even out. Just so that Mr. Haney was walking through the hallways until a foul stench seeped into his nostrils.
"What in the blue devil is that smell?" Mr. Haney used his tie to cover his nose.
"Sorry Herb." Mr. Ratburn waved to the principal and coughed. "One of the children broke wind."
"I will call Mr. Morris to come around and spray some Febrile around here." Mr. Haney waved back before muttering. "Jesus Christ that's awful."
"Okay thanks Herb." Mr. Ratburn nodded then went back to his lesson plan. "Alright children, back to work. Now before the invention of the..." Before he could continue, another loud sound erupted from the opposite side of the room.
"Ew." Some of the children groaned.
"Oh come on Binky!" Buster exclaimed.
"Bad enough that he is right near the heater!" Muffy pointed out while covering her nose.
Binky just sat there with a wide smile on his face. Everyone knew he did it, he was not going to deny it either. The awful smell that exploded from his rear end intensified. What game was he trying to pull?
"It smells even worse!" Fern wanted to gag.
"That tears it." Mr. Ratburn walked up to the windows and opened one of them.
"Huh? But Mr. Ratburn it is like negative twenty four degrees outside!" Francine pointed out.
"I know Francine but if we do not air out the smell then it won't leave." Mr. Ratburn grunted as he forced at least two different windows open. The chilling breeze seeped into the classroom, the sudden coldness worked its magic. "I will only leave these open for a couple of minutes. Hopefully Mr. Morris comes soon."
Binky let out another huge fart. The class responded by roars of disbelief. Mr. Ratburn was tapping his foot. "Binky do you need to sit in the corner until your gas is under control?"
"No Mr. Ratburn I'm fine." Binky smiled, and then let out another loud fart.
"How does he not have a hole in his pants?" Buster asked.
"Fine. Mr. Ratburn can I use the restroom?" Binky raised his hand.
"Fine get out of here. Jesus H Christ." Mr. Ratburn then stuck his head out the window for more air.
Binky Barnes proudly stood up from his chair then pushed it back in. He took the hall pass from the teacher's desk despite the restroom was right next door. Hell the boy's restroom and the classroom shared the same wall and had a vent shaft so you could hear what goes on in there. The class decided to be quiet as they heard the door slam in the next room then one of the stalls open. They heard Binky humming the opening theme to My Little Pony in there then followed by a loud sigh of relief.
"My Little Pony, My Little Pony..." Binky sang, then let out another loud fart.
Back in the classroom, they continued to listen while Mr. Ratburn discovered that the window that he raised could not come back down. He grunted and wrestled with the window to come back down.
"Oh boy. I should not have had those breakfast burritos this morning." Binky groaned as he felt his stomach ache and then grunted. He pushed himself harder and harder, screamed aloud even along with stamping his feet on the bathroom tile. "AHHHH!"
"Binky seriously we can hear you through the vent!" Mr. Ratburn hollered only for Binky to respond with another atomic fart so loud it echoed.
"AHHH!" Binky screamed.
"Are you being murdered in there?" Arthur called out.
"IT'S COMING OUT LIKE LAVA!" Binky screamed.
"Oh great he's going to break the dang toilet." Buster put his hand on his own cheek.
"You know what. Screw this. He does this everyday and no one is doing anything about it." Arthur said aloud. "Mr. Ratburn can I be excused?"
"Binky took the hall pass Arthur. You have to wait until he comes back." Mr. Ratburn looked at Arthur in an annoyed state.
"But he is in there everyday for forty five minutes or never comes back." Arthur pointed out.
"Oh. Good point." Mr. Ratburn excused Arthur so he could leave.
The aardvark stood up from his desk and walked out of the classroom. He had enough of Pinky's bathroom antics and he knew they were never going to stop. So why fight it? Of course, other classes would get on it making fun of his class for putting up with the smell and the noise. His idea was to sneak into the principal's office and steal the microphone used for the morning announcements everyday. In addition, when Arthur sneaks in, I mean that Arthur walked past Miss Tingly too busy reading a magazine and kicked the door in and ripped the microphone from the desk and pulled the cable as far as it could go. Just enough to get back to the classroom and put everything into place. Therefore, he did by putting the microphone in the next stall and left. He went back to the office and turned on the microphone with a switch. The buzzing sound signaled that it was on. Now all the classes were listening in.
"And so children that is how we get the color green." Mrs. Sweetwater lectured her students. "Any questions?"
"HERE COMES THE BIG ONE!" Binky shouted not knowing he was being broadcasted and let out another huge fart.
"OH MY!" Mirs. Sweetwater covered her mouth in disgust. Her students on the other hand were either shocked or laughing hard.
"Oh man I forgot to put down toilet paper on the seat before I sat down." Binky moaned.
"EW!" Half the school was grossed out.
"Oh man I have to record this for You tube's sake." Rattles took out his cell phone and started recording the announcement speaker.
"My little pony, my little pony... AHHHHHHHH!" Binky screamed as he forced another fart then went back to singing. "I wonder what friendship could be, my little pony, until you shared your magic with me!"
"Well... There goes my taste for the show." Fern frowned.
"I'll still watch it." George smirked.
"It's an easy feat and magic makes it all complete!" Binky sang, "Ahhh... finally done." He looked over to where the toilet paper was supposed to be located. "Aw... No toilet paper?" He looked around and called out, "Hello? Anyone there? Oh come on." Binky moaned. "Well... Might as well pull a MacGyver..." HE sighed; the next minute followed a flush but then gurgling. "Uh oh... Well just walk away I suppose."
Binky walked out of the bathroom and ignored the cord. He went back to class and could not help but notice all his fellow students looking at him. The room smelled nicer as a hint of Febreeze was in the air. He pretended to ignore the student's stares and Mr. Ratburn finally went back to teaching. No one knew the microphone was still on, well Arthur did but he forgot to pull it back out.
"Oh sweet Jesus!" The children turned their attention back to the announcements. That voice sounded like it belonged to Mr. Morris. "He shit everywhere... THERE IS SHIT AND WATER EVERYWHERE! DAMN IT!" The children cringed from the loud yell, Binky pretended like nothing happened. "THERE IS WATER ALL OVER THE GOD DAMN FLOOR!" Mr. Morris hollered as the students started to laugh out loud from the swear words. "Toilet looks like a god damn octopus just sprayed ink in there!" They heard the splashing footsteps until silence came over the intercom. "What's this? Who left their underwear behind the toilet? Let us see? Property of..."
"Uh oh." Binky said to himself.
"In 3...2...1..." Arthur smirked as he stretched the microphone cord into the classroom slowly thanks to the door being half way open. He then pulled it in far enough that he put it on his desk; he tapped on it to make sure it was still on. Just as soon as everything was in place, the door slammed further into the wall, hell breaking the door in the process.
Mr. Morris stood there with wet pant legs and shoes; he had a plastic bag with him with something damp in them. The dog man pulled his arm back and threw at full force at Binky's head and boy, he was mad.
"You left your damn underwear in the bathroom Binky." Mr. Morris yelled.
"Not my fault you can not do a good job cleaning." Binky frowned.
"That is it!" Mr. Morris then started to chase Binky around the classroom. Mr. Ratburn could stop it but he decided to kick back at his desk, put his feet up and open up a can of beer. The students sat back and laughed while the school janitor chased the bulldog boy around the classroom shouting swear words. They all laughed as Binky screamed and begged Mr. Morris to stop chasing him; somehow, he got a mop and tried to whack Binky with it too.
"Karma Binky, karma." Arthur smiled. Just then noticed the water from the bathroom was seeping into the hallways and spreading into the classroom. Mr. Morris did not even bother to turn off the water to stop the floor.
"Hey guys want to skip school?" Arthur asked his classmates.
"Sure." Buster replied.
"Yup." Francine nodded.
"Let's go." Muffy smiled.
"Meh." Mr. Ratburn opened another can of beer.
"GET BACK HERE!" Mr. Morris threw his broom at Binky but narrowly avoided him and breaking a window in the process.
The next day Arthur did not feel like going to school so he faked being sick. His stupid mother believed him and went to work on the computer. The principal called his mother.
"Hello Jane." Mr. Haney greeted.
"Oh hey Herb. What can I do for you?" Jane smiled.
"Well. It's about your son. He is sick today right?" Mr. Haney asked.
"Yes, this is his third absence for the year if I recall." Jane recalled.
"Actually, looking at my computer right now it says that he missed one hundred and thirteen days of school. Oh my." Mr. Haney adjusted his glasses to read the computer screen.
"Now that can not be." Jane frowned.
"Oh wait a second... Something is happening with my computer. I think it is a bug." Mr. Haney raised an eyebrow.
"That is impossible. My son went to school pretty much everyday." Jane argued.
"Well he has been reported cutting class." Mr. Haney clicked on another file. "Wait a sec."
The computer suddenly started to edit the information itself. Arthur Read, unexcused absences changed from 113 to 3 and early leave about one. "Well that's strange. You know what, I'm sorry I guess my computer is on the fritz again." Mr. Haney said goodbye and hung up. "The blue blazes is going on?"
JThen went upstairs to check on Arthur. Who was sound asleep, she went in to make sure. "No. Now way he would do all that." She smiled then left.
Arthur opened one eye to make sure it was safe then pulled out his phone. "Thanx 4 haxing skool records for me Brain. -Arthur." He pressed send and got a message back.
"No prob. -Brain." It read. "Check out new video on net Rattles sent me."
Arthur then clicked on the new Internet video Rattles put up of Binky's singing and it hit over a million views entitled, "Farting Pony Song." He tried to keep himself from chuckling but it was too grand.
Meanwhile Mr. Morris got revenge on Binky by going to his house and well... Binky also stayed home school because he was expelled. He got up to the use his own bathroom and found the only couple of toilets in the house were busted into pieces. Water sprayed everywhere and drenched everything.
"AHH!" Binky screamed.
Mr. Morris continued walking to the school with a smile on his face as he heard the scream of the bulldog boy.
"It's an easy feat and magic makes it all complete." Mr. Morris hummed a few bars of the farting pony song.
The end...
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Note: yeah... gross i know. review please.