She walked down the alley whistling a tune when something moved in the shadows.
"Give me your wallet!" a man said jumping out in front of her, gun in hand. She looked at him for a second and raised an eyebrow.
"Me?" she asked looking behind her.
"Yeah of course you!" he snapped. "Who the fuck else?" Her brows furrowed.
"Give me your fucking wallet, or I'll shoot!" he commanded.
She rolled her eyes. "Do all you criminals read from the same damn script?" she asked. "For fuck's sake where's the originality?!" she asked throwing up her hands.
"I'm not going to ask again about your wallet. Hand it over!" he demanded.
"Ok then." she said with a smile. "Let me grab it for you." She quickly grabbed the gun and chopped the assailant in the neck, then the stomach. She took her knee and rammed it into his face and grabbed him by the hair. She held the gun in one hand and his hair in the other. Blood was trickling down from his nose. "Alright now look, you had your chance, and now I'll have mine." She kicked him down on the ground. "Have you robbed anyone else tonight?" she asked. He was breathing heavily. "I said, did you rob anybody else you little asshole?!" she yelled putting the gun on his forehead.
"Yes, yes, dear God yes!" he screamed.
"The rest of the money in your pockets?" she asked.
He nodded. "Alright then." she said. She popped the clip out of the gun and threw it down the alley. Then she removed the barrel. She threw the barrel up in the air and caught it. "Guns." she said. "They're not for amateurs." She rammed the barrel into his throat and twisted it. She let his body fall to the ground. "Amateurs, you ask." she said. "Why yes, amateurs think guns are only dangerous when there are bullets in them." she said smiling. She quickly went through his pockets and found two wallets. She opened one. "Oooh." she said. "Welcome to my pocket Mr. Franklin, do you have a reservation?" she pulled out the money and counted it. "You have quite a few friends Mr. Franklin." She took both wallets and started walking down the alley, looting them both. Walked onto the sidewalk and threw away the wallets in a dumpster.
She unlocked the door and headed upstairs. "Oh to be young, in New York, and at home." she said flipping on the light switch as she opened the apartment door. "I need sleep." said abruptly. She quickly took off her coat and shoes and walked into her bedroom. "Oh sweet bed of mine." she said jumping onto the bed. "Maybe we'll do some dastardly deeds in our dreams tonight." she said rolling around in the covers. A few minutes later she was fast asleep. The lights were off in her room and the door was cracked.
Suddenly the door started to creak open. The lights she turned on when she came in were suddenly off now. The door continued to slowly to creak open. He started to slink his way in when suddenly there was a burst of light coming from the end of the bed. He went down on the floor, his knee throbbing in pain. She walked over by the door and flipped on the switch.
"Tip before I kill you." she said circling around to face him. "While in hell, learn how to stalk people without getting noticed." she said pointing the gun in his face. She started to pull back on the trigger.
"Wait!" he screamed.
"What the hell do I have to wait for? What the hell do you mean wait?!" she asked annoyed. She shook her head. "And why the hell did I just stall time by asking you those stupid questions?" She started pulling back on the trigger again.
"I'm not here to hurt you." he said putting his hands in front of the gun.
"What the hell does that have to do with me shooting you?" she asked.
"I came here to talk." he said calmly.
"Oh, well in that case it was nice talking to you." she said with a smile, getting ready to shoot him again.
"I saw what you did in the alley tonight." he said.
"All the more reason for me to kill you." she replied.
"I was impressed, you're incredibly fast, and extremely ruthless." he said sitting up.
"Look I don't need you telling me how impressive I am, I do that every minute of every day." she replied. "Now shut up and take your little trip to Hell like a man." she said closing one eye.
"I came to offer you a job!" he said.
She lifted her head up and looked at the ceiling. "Why are you not dead yet?" she asked out loud. She moved in closer to him and started pulling on the trigger again.
"I'm an assassin and I think you would make a great assistant to me!" he said finally.
She paused. "What the fuck did you just say?" she asked.
"I'm an assassin and…"
"No I heard that part dumbass, did you say assistant?" she asked annoyed.
"Well, I didn't mean to…" he said stammering.
"The fuck makes you think I would be your assistant?" she asked waving the gun around.
"Well I was just saying that because you don't know the business quite yet." he said. "You don't know exactly how things work with clients and such."
She thought about it for a moment. "Sure, but I could learn over time." she said leaning against the end of the bed.
"Of course, and I'll be more than happy to teach you." he said.
She looked at him for a second. "So you're telling me that you followed me here from the alley to…offer me a job?" she asked.
"Actually, yes." he replied leaning against the wall.
"Hmm, sounds promising." she said. "Killing people, getting away with it, and getting paid for It." she said.
"Exactly." he replied.
"So I'm getting paid for things I already do." she said throwing the gun on the bed.
She walked over to him and picked him up with one hand and leaned him against the bed. His eyes went wide.
"How in the-"
"Don't worry about how, just know that I can do things a normal person can't." she said. He sat in silence for a second, thinking about what he had witnessed tonight.
"Wait you said getting paid for things you already do?" he asked looking at her.
"Yes." she said walking into the bathroom. She walked back out. "I'll be getting paid for killing and getting away with it. I already do those two things." she said with a first aid kit in hand. She grabbed his leg and put it on her lap. He grimaced. She grabbed some gauze and poured some liquid onto it. She quickly placed it on his wound. He yelped in pain. She looked at him.
"Oh, spoiler alert." she said. "This is going to hurt."