It was raining when Jimmy showed up at Castiel's apartment. That much he could remember; much of what happened beyond his brother's rushed words he'd blocked out or was blurred by the alcohol. All of his focus had been laid into the man he loved most in life, the man who'd walked over to tell him everything was lost.
Cas swallowed another finger of brandy while Jimmy worked on his own bottle of vodka. "What was his name?"
Jimmy huffed and took another long pull, Castiel suddenly thankful neither of them ever got hangovers so long as they started with the liquor. "Steve, I think."
The air seemed thick, but it wasn't humidity or anything like that. For once, Cas was just good and drunk. Jimmy seemed to have been there a long while ago, limbs moving sluggishly and words slurring so hard that if Cas wasn't literally a perfect copy of Jimmy, he wouldn't have understood.
Most of the space was empty in the one bedroom fifth floor shack. Meg moved out weeks ago, looking for something he couldn't quite give her. Castiel could do all the motions for love, the entire dance of it right down to the brutal pace of his hips as he fucked the belief into someone else's body. But, in the end, the words would never come. Not while Jimmy was still alive.
They weren't just perfect copies, they were perfect halves. When Jimmy found Amelia, Cas had left well-enough alone. Claire was born and Castiel forced himself to smile, resigned to the fact that he was an uncle, his brother a father and his life a mess. That was around the time Crowley'd shown up in college. Two months were missing from that timespan and if the strange emails he got from amateur porn sites were any indication, he didn't want it back.
Jimmy and Amelia's fifth wedding anniversary was where he met Meg. For a few months he thought it might work, the dates, the motions. His heart did tug for her for just a brief moment. Then his brother came over uninvited after three months, complaining of marital issues. With that hope, any chance Meg had died. It was cruel, fucked up and he didn't even know where to begin to look for a way to change. Wasn't sure if he really cared to.
Cas finished off his glass and set it on the coffee table haphazardly, slumping back into the couch after a moment. He exhaled and tried not to pay attention to the sick lurching in his stomach. They probably should have eaten something. "Claire isn't yours."
Jimmy took another swallow of vodka and set the bottle down roughly, almost spilling the last third of it. When he fell back he landed hard on Castiel's side. "Claire isn't mine."
Maybe he was just spectacularly drunk, but his twin almost sounded relieved. It was the last thought he had before passing out.
Sunlight poured in through the living room window when he woke, birds obnoxiously loud and cheery. Castiel made to get up, but stopped when he realized his brother's head was in his lap. He took a deep breath and thought back to the night before, the parts of it that were clear. Claire wasn't Jimmy's child, a brief stint on Amelia's part during a rough patch resulting in the little blonde-haired blue-eyed baby girl. Cas hadn't been coherent enough to ask how Jimmy found out, simply hugged his brother close and offered the highest proof he could find.
Somewhere in a more rational part of his mind, Cas knew he should have been livid with her for leading his brother on, for crushing him like that. But it was hard to think of it as a bad thing when Jimmy was sleeping right where he belonged. Cas let his fingers weave into his brother's hair, dark strands of brown the same as his. The tips of his fingers traced around the shell of Jimmy's ear, careful to press just hard enough that it didn't tickle him.
Jimmy rolled onto his back, taking a deep breath before blinking blearily. It took him a few seconds to get his bearings, body tensing until he realized where he was, who was touching him.
"Morning, Cas." His voice was rough, but nowhere near as bad as Castiel's.
The only two differences between them were their voices and the mole beside Cas' right nipple. One he could blame on a severe case of strep from childhood, the other annoyed him to no end for years until Jimmy confessed that he liked it.
Castiel gave a tilted grin and fluffed Jimmy's hair, making it look windblown. He could still remember the bike races they had, though it wasn't exactly a race when both participants painstakingly made sure to go the same speed. Many sets of twins did everything they could to individualize themselves, but if Castiel could pour his consciousness into his brother's body to make them one he would without hesitation, so long as Jimmy agreed as well.
They'd have stayed like that a while longer if both of them hadn't drank almost their entire weight in alcohol. Jimmy got up first, going for the bathroom in the hall before Cas. Deep breathing and a fair amount of growling were the only things that kept him from pissing himself as he waited outside. When the door opened he shot inside, barely giving Jimmy an inch to dodge. Even only wearing a tee shirt and boxers he couldn't free himself fast enough.
Jimmy stood in the doorway, frozen for a moment while Cas groaned in relief. When he caught his brother's stare he didn't even have to follow it to know where it landed. He quirked an eyebrow and tried not to remember some of their more brutal teenage games. Bad dog, Jimmy! The stains in their carpet had been almost impossible to explain away. Probably the only reason they weren't called out was their father's deep denial.
Without a word Jimmy slipped away from the door, loosening the top three buttons of his shirt as he did. It only hit Cas then that Jimmy hadn't even had the chance to change from his work clothes. He'd shown up in Cas' old trench coat, his tie backward and his suit jacket crumpled beyond belief. Some of that anger was finally catching up with him.
He found his brother in the kitchen, dumping large spoonfuls of coffee grounds into a filter to percolate. Cas moved in beside him, back turned as he reached for two mugs from the tiny cabinet above the stove. Jimmy cleared his throat and tapped two fingers on the counter, a nervous gesture that meant he was about to speak but wasn't sure if he should. Cas didn't tap, he ground his jaw and ran his tongue along the insides of his teeth.
He reached the chip in his top right canine when Jimmy spoke. "Cas, do you remember how you used to fuck me when we were in high school?"
Cas' grip faltered on the mugs, nearly dropping them to the floor. He recovered quickly enough, but Jimmy still noticed, his hand coming to rest warmly at the small of Castiel's back. A hard swallow clicked in Cas' throat, voice unlocking only as he exhaled slowly.
"I told you to kneel on the floor by the foot of the bed, hands braced against the wall." How many nights he'd gotten sore knees just to jack off like that, thinking of his brother.
Jimmy drew nearer, his chest pressing into Castiel's back, hands sliding around and up his twin's shirt. Porcelain clinked against the metal stove as Cas set the mugs down. A soft chuckle ruffled the hairs at the nape of his neck, little curls starting to form as they got longer. "We had to, because fucking in the bed would make the headboard smack the wall and we didn't want dad hearing."
Cas closed his eyes and let himself remember. "You were still so loud, there was no way he couldn't have known."
A hum of assent, fingers dipping into his navel. He turned around and felt Jimmy's cock brush against his hip. Eyes as blue as his stared back at him, pupils expanding to take more of him in. "I fingered myself like that."
"Christ, Jimmy." Castiel cupped his brother's jaw pulled him into a kiss, tasting the lingering traces of the vodka and something a little more foul. Not like he hadn't had worse, licked into dirtier places on the same man.
Jimmy broke the kiss and panted into his mouth, hands tearing at his own clothing. "Right next to my closet, Cas, shoved three fingers in my ass til I came thinking of you."
Cas growled and reached down to undo Jimmy's belt, not bothering to pull it out of the loops before undoing the fly on his brother's slacks. It had been far too long since he felt the weight of a cock just like his that wasn't actually attached to him. Years. He cupped the swell of it in Jimmy's boxer briefs, squeezing until Jimmy tilted his hips into the touch.
His other hand once again threaded into Jimmy's hair, this time pulling and yanking his twin's head to the side. "Do you want me to fuck you Jimmy?"
Jimmy's eyes fluttered, his smoother voice a little deeper than normal when he responded. "Need it."
A low growl shook Cas' throat. To think, he'd forgotten how well his brother could beg. Maybe Jimmy had forgotten how well Cas knew this game, too. "Do you want to forget that you ever shoved your cock into her pussy, Jimmy?"
"God, yes." The desperation in the words was sincere. Jimmy wanted the last six and a half years fucked out of him and Cas was more than willing to try.
"Then beg for my cock, you slut. You spent six years with a pussy swallowing your dick, beg me to fuck your ass the same way." His fingers tightened their hold on Jimmy's shaft, the middle and index reaching down to rub along the edge of the head through the worn cotton covering it.
"No, fuck me harder." Jimmy whimpered and gave a stilted push into his grip.
Cas shoved him to the floor, snarling when he met no resistance, just trust and need. He'd been denied this for far too long. He shoved his own boxers down and yanked his shirt over his head. Jimmy licked his lips and Cas smirked, spreading his legs enough to cup his balls.
"Do you want what's in here?" Jimmy looked like he wasn't breathing, just watching everything play out in front of him like he was powerless to do anything else. Cas reached out and smacked the side of his brother's face just enough to sting. "Answer me."
Instead of anything verbal, Jimmy's mouth fell open and he tentatively leaned in to take Cas' balls inside. Even without having practiced in so long, Jimmy knew just how to run his tongue along the seam, to swirl it around and use it to massage instead of suck.
Cas groaned and leaned back to brace himself on the stove, thankful that the knobs weren't waist level. Jimmy pulled back slowly and let his lips do the work, moving them gently over the tender skin sucked between them.
"Maybe I should take a picture of my come leaking out of you when I'm through. We can send it to your ex-wife and show her what she returned to me." Jimmy kissed around the base of Cas' cock, nuzzling into his brother's pubic hair while groping his way up Cas' thighs.
Their eyes met when Cas weaved his fingers into Jimmy's hair, cupping the back of his skull with both hands. His cock was sitting in the curve of Jimmy's neck and shoulder, tempting him to slowly fuck his brother's throat until he came. Maybe Jimmy wouldn't be able to swallow it all fast enough and Cas could lick up dribbles of his own come. Teeth nipped at his abdomen, pulling him away from his thoughts as they began to stray. He pulled his brother's head back and watched the way that pretty neck arched with the movement.
"Follow me to the bedroom." Jimmy's smile was perfect, almost reverent.
Cas let him go and stepped away, leaving his clothing on the kitchen floor as he walked down the short distance to his room completely naked. There were perks to living alone. It wasn't long before he heard Jimmy scrambling to follow. A quick glance back and he saw his brother had taken the time to strip down. Once they were both in the room Cas closed the door and slammed Jimmy against it, kissing him and biting his lips, fingers digging into his arms hard enough the bruise. They used to kiss like that in high school, rough hands and teeth leaving marks all over and starting more than a handful of rumors.
Jimmy moaned low in his throat and spread his legs as he stood, rutting up against Cas' hip. The motion was familiar, memories of the back of an old pickup flooding Castiel's mind. Cas, please. They didn't know any better, or at the very least they pretended they didn't. A tiny, hitched whimper came from Jimmy as Cas pulled away, tugging his lower lip until it snapped back.
He tilted his head and leaned in to bite his twin's jaw, making a mark right in the center where anyone could see. Another whimper slipped past Cas' ear as Jimmy's hands fell to his hips, unable to go much further with the way Cas had him pinned. For a moment they were both quiet, Cas' grip easing as he considered what to say, Jimmy panting and trying not to hump him desperately.
"Tell me you didn't love her." The words came before Cas could think about them, before he could stop himself from doing something so stupid.
Jimmy swallowed roughly and took a deep breath. "I didn't."
Cas pulled back to look in his eyes, to see if Jimmy was just saying it. It was fine if he was, they couldn't undo the past. "Jim–"
"I married her to make dad happy." Jimmy slid his hands around to Castiel's back, his brother's grip loose enough now to allow it. "I was always yours, Cas."
Castiel dipped in and kissed Jimmy again, slower this time, not as punishing. As much as he thought he'd been okay when Jimmy married Amelia, a weight was lifted from him when he heard that it wasn't what Jimmy had wanted. Maybe if their father had decided to cut off all contact a few years earlier Jimmy wouldn't have had to, Cas could have kept him. No matter, at least he had his brother now. He wasn't going to let Jimmy go again.
A gentle nudge on Jimmy's part had them heading for the bed, Cas loathe to take more than half a step away. The backs of his knees hit the edge of the mattress and he fell, pulling Jimmy down with him. Their kiss broke when they fell and as Jimmy settled, straddling his thighs, they came back together, mouths moving in tandem, tongue sliding and dancing over one another. Jimmy's hands braced on his shoulders, forcing them to part again sooner than Cas would have liked. Though if he could, he'd probably kiss his brother until he suffocated.
"C'mon, Cas, heartfelt kisses later," Jimmy rolled his hips down, grinding against Cas' erection, "your cock in my ass now."
Cas growled and rolled them over, stealing another harsh kiss before getting up and going to his dresser for a bottle of lube. Jimmy rearranged himself to lay with his head on Cas' pillows. Even though they were the same height, Cas could still seem like he towered over Jimmy. It was all in his behavior, the way he carried himself and spoke. He could own anything he wanted just by applying a little pressure. The same principle applied as he swirled a wet finger over his brother's hole, Jimmy breathing deeply and falling lax to his touch.
They knew each other's bodies like their own, years of not sharing a bed didn't change that. Castiel knew just when to dip his finger inside, just the right speed to use as he thrust it in and he'd spent years perfecting the curl to find Jimmy's prostate. Even now he knew just where it was, Jimmy making an almost choked sound, his hips rolling into Cas' touch. His legs were spread wide, his cock laying against his stomach. Three quick strokes on Jimmy's part kept it from going soft despite the burn and neglect. A small smile curled Cas' lips as he watched, pressing up against his brother's prostate again, watching the way his cock jumped with it.
Getting two fingers in took longer than it used to, but Castiel was patient. Jimmy may not have been, glaring when he only teased with the second instead of trying to work it in. It amused him, despite how much they'd grown, both nearing thirty, Jimmy was still so much the same as when they were young. There was a fair bit of comfort in that, knowing that he would forever be the one who'd taken his brother's virginity and that even now he could look back with pride, confident that no other partner would ever be satisfactory for either of them. They came out of the womb together and they would always be that close, sharing the same air, the same bed, the same pleasure.
When Jimmy was ready for the third finger, Cas added more lube and watched the wet slide. His breath held in his lungs as Jimmy's body pulled him in, his legs and hips moving and angling to get him deeper.
Cas chuckled and swatted the inside of one of his thighs. "Whore."
Jimmy laughed breathlessly in response and whimpered when all three were buried deep. "Fuck, c'mon, you know I can take more."
"Greed is a sin, Jimmy." He pulled his fingers out halfway and pushed up, biting his lip when Jimmy cried out and grabbed the pillow beside his head.
"Fuck, Cas, so is this if you wan–want to get technical about it." His brother rolled his hips and fucked himself on Cas' fingers, grunting and grabbing his cock, squeezing hard near the base to stave off orgasm.
"You're close already?" Normally it took more than that, even when they were young.
Jimmy panted harshly and closed his eyes, jaw grinding as he tried to calm himself. "Fuck you, I haven't gotten laid in months."
If Cas were feeling particularly vindictive, he might press up and massage Jimmy's prostate, see if he could force him to orgasm whether he liked it or not. Then he would push himself in, watching his brother's limp cock roll around in puddles of come as the man beneath him whined and begged for it harder, Cas, harder because of the two of them, Jimmy was always the demanding one. But he wasn't vindictive, they hadn't had sex in years and as his brother just admitted, this was his first in months. No matter the games they'd play or the moods that might strike, Castiel could never live with himself if he hurt Jimmy. Not like this.
His brother's breathing evened out and eventually his hand fell away, he nodded and Cas resumed his ministrations. When the edge of his pinky could slip just inside, Cas began to scissor the other three, spreading his brother's hole wide, certainly wide enough to take Cas' cock, but patience was still needed. Jimmy whined and his head thrashed, a deep flush covering his cheeks and spreading downward. Sweat was starting to bead up and form puddles, despite the air conditioning.
Another application of lube, just to be sure, and Cas thrust his fingers in half a dozen times, catching Jimmy's prostate as often as he could. Only when Jimmy threw his foot sideways to kick Cas in the thigh did anything progress. They could draw it out later, when Cas had him tied and gagged.
Cas slicked himself up and pushed in slowly, eyes stuck to their point of connection. Better than he remembered, and tight. He picked Jimmy up under the knees and slid home with his brother's calves on his forearms. His eyes rolled back as his head hung limp from his neck. They opened when one of Jimmy's hands covered his, moving until his legs were hooked over Cas' shoulders and their fingers were twined.
"Like our first time." There was a smile in Jimmy's voice, his eyes shining brightly.
Heat spread out through Cas' skin, filling his chest as he smiled and nodded his agreement. He still remembered Jimmy having rugburn across his shoulders from it. Both of them began moving at the same time, rolling their hips, pulling and pushing into one another, Jimmy just as needy to have Cas stretching him wide as Cas was to be housed in his brother's body. The hand not clasped tight to his twin's was braced against the mattress. They were both flexible naturally, but had often exploited it, bending and turning themselves into all kinds of places and positions.
Cas turned his head and kissed the inside of Jimmy's knee, eyes fluttering shut as they moved faster and faster. No house or apartment would ever be home like this act. Total completion, both of them a mirror for the other, every part perfectly synchronous. The romantic in him liked to believe that even their hearts beat the same, just to prove that they were a perfect whole.
Jimmy clenched on him purposefully and Cas growled, snapping his hips forward roughly as his brother squeezed his hand, begging for more without words. Their hips were flush together, both men grinding and luxuriating in the feel of the other. Cas pulled out and slammed back in again, grunting and panting heavily. He watched Jimmy's hand as it wandered up and ran through the thick mop of hair, then slid down to his own chest, thumb brushing over each nipple. Cas' cock throbbed as he watched Jimmy tease himself, pulling and twisting them until he hissed and finally wrapped that hand around himself.
A smug grin pulled his brother's lips apart and Castiel could already taste the filth in the words he anticipated. "After lunch I'll ride you and you can suck on them til I cry."
Cas closed his eyes and took a deep breath and pulled out, manhandling a confused Jimmy around until he knelt in front of the headboard. Immediately Cas' intent was understood. Jimmy groaned and tilted his hips back, hole clenching on nothing, waiting for Cas' cock to come back and give it what it needed. The second slide in was quicker than the first, his brother loose and begging. Jimmy gasped, his fingers flexing as his hands braced against the wall.
Sweat dripped between their bodies and Cas' pillows would be a mess, but he didn't care. He covered Jimmy's hands with his own and bit down on the shoulder in front of his mouth. "You could come just like this, couldn't you? On nothing more than my cock, perfect little slut."
"Yes, Cas, yes." Jimmy's head fell back and rested against him, eyes fluttering closed.
His hands slid along Jimmy's skin, down arms just like his, stopping to pinch already sensitive nipples, then down further until one of his hands cupped his brother's balls while the other wrapped around his dick. "Don't worry, Jimmy, I won't make you."
The noise the other man made could have almost been called pained. His hips swayed, unsure if he wanted to push into Cas' fist or keep fucking himself back on the cock splitting him open. Castiel jacked his brother off with a firm grip, pressure building at the base of his cock as their pace increased. The headboard was slamming against the wall in time with each of Cas' thrusts and he could imagine Mr. Henderson next door getting ready to call the police. Jimmy reached back with one hand and grabbed his hair, pulling him into a filthy kiss. His tongue was sucked, his expression falling to something like a grimace, shaky moans stuck in his throat as his nostrils flared. Their mouths parted but they stayed as they were, lips pressed close, breathing into each other.
Jimmy gasped, fingers tightening their hold. "Cas, I'm go–oh, fuck!"
His hand folded over the head of his brother's cock, come spilling out to coat his fingers and pool in his palm. The rhythmic clenching on his cock sent him over. He pulled back enough to look between them, streaks of white covering the shaft of his dick when he pulled out and pushed in one final time. Castiel sat back on his heels, Jimmy moving with him perfectly to rest on his lap. They fought for breath, sweat plastering their hair to their skulls. Jimmy's limp cock was still cradled in Cas' hand and he pulled it away, bringing the puddle of come up to Jimmy's lips. His brother opened wide as he tipped his hand and dumped it in.
Before it could all be licked away Cas shoved his hand into Jimmy's hair, laughing as Jimmy groaned when he spread the rest of it around. "Really? I thought you outgrew that."
Cas chuckled and pressed a kiss to Jimmy's jaw, right over the mark he left earlier. "Now we really do have to shower."
"The coffee'll burn." It was offhand, not meant to deter him, simply a reminder.
"No, that machine turns off after so long. It'll still be there for us." Jimmy hummed in response and sagged as he sat. Cas' hands rubbed up and down his brother's sides, idle kisses pressed to his shoulder and neck. All the attention was eagerly accepted, Jimmy turning to kiss his temple.
"Let's go take a shower. We can grab my stuff out of the storage unit later." Cas' cock slipped out with a wet noise, shiny with come and lube.
"Storage unit?" Jimmy stumbled off the mattress, Cas grabbing his arm to steady him as he followed.
"When Steven showed up Amelia had my things moved. Apparently this whole thing was preemptive. She said she meant to tell me, but it was never the right time." For his part, Jimmy didn't sound upset, more bored than anything. Cas ground his jaw and turned the bathroom light on, hoping he had enough shampoo for two heads of hair. Lips pressed into the back of his neck as he leaned to turn the water on. "Besides, I make enough money to get you out of this dump. The house across the street from mine is on sale."
Cas chuckled and stepped inside the stall. "Mm, we could fuck on the front lawn while you sign your divorce papers."
A throaty laugh bounced off the walls, Jimmy following him in even though there really wasn't room. "Naked sunbathing in the back yard."
They kissed, both of them still grinning. It really didn't matter what building or vehicle they sat in. Home was where their brother was.