A genius's guide to fanfiction.

THIS IS A PARODY! I DON'T MEAN TO OFFEND; I'M NOT ATTACKING SPECIFIC PEOPLE!

I also do not claim to be some sort of brilliant author that is better then everybody else. This is just me being a bitch because the amount of Mary Sues in this fandom annoys me so much.

First thing and most important thing is the name of your character. There are so many important things in a name. A name is never just a name it had to completely describe your character.

If your character is super dark, her name should be Raven. But you don't want to seem like an uncreative author so you should probably spell it wrong.

RyxxVen is a much better variation. It could also be a name that has anything to do with:

Crimson, Roses, Wolves, Vampires, or Blood.

It has to be a hardcore name.

If you don't have a super dark character with a tragic past (which would be a very boring character, everybody knows all interesting people were raped, molested, abandoned or abused) there are some other options for you.

Consider giving her three names.

Rose Alexandria Ruby. That totally says that she is unique. BUT something even better and prettier would be if it was spelled wrong.

Rossse Alxandryia Rubie. Now THAT is a good name for your character.

Wait but that doesn't describe my characters personality!

Oh no! That would mean you would need to show her personality through your writing skills. That's no fun! And it involves way too much writing!

So Charity Beauty Robin Intelligent is born! Oh she is so perfect!

She needs to have a nickname.

You can't simply name your character her nickname! That would make no sense at all! So let's think of how nicknames work for a second.

Elizabeth-Beth

Rebecca-Becca

Sophia Melody Sparkle-Luna

There, that should make sense. You should also use every possible combination of nicknames possible like so:

Delaney-Laney, Lane, Del, Della, Dellie, Delane, or De.

I'm not Japanese but I love to pretend I am and think all of their culture is kakkoii! That means cool in Japanese! What should I call my character?

Why it should be Japanese of course! Why even ask that question? You must go to as many baby naming websites and find out all of the meanings for Japanese names and name her that! Gosh! And if you really want an interesting character have her say kawaii or call people kun. That wouldn't piss anybody off and they will love it just as much as you do!

Aiko Keikio Masami is the name for you!

Another great idea is to name her after something in Greek Mythology! And not something that can be turned into a somewhat normal name like Perecus to Percy. No no no! It should be something cool and unique like Atalanta or Clytemnestra. Speaking of Greek Mythology you should defiantly consider naming her something after her parent!

So creative!

Now here is the basic idea:

Poseidon: Oceana, Aquamarina, River, Waterina,

Zeus: Lightning, Sky, Skye, Star, Storm, Stormy, Lightninga

Demeter: Are you really asking me this? Any flower! DUH!

Hades: anything HARDCORE! Wolverina, Sable, Ophelia, and Azrealle are my personal favorites

Apollo: Sunny or Sonny

OMg OmG She should totally be on a tv show called So Random! And be a singer and look exactly like Demi Lovato!

I bow down to your originality

Hey my name is Melanie! And my pen name is Melanie1212 should I name my character Melanie?

Of course! I mean if you want a realistic character it should totally be the perfect form of you! I mean that only makes sense and it's so much easier then having to come up with a personality or an actual character!

Well here you go! It's so brilliant it burns! But before you go make sure you never ever ever EVAR! Name a character something like Lauren or Sarah or Jamie. How gross and realistic! Ew! I hate names that you hear everyday! Who wants to be able to relate to a character name? Weirdos that flame stories that's who!

~I WANT TO REPEAT THIS ISN'T MEANT TO OFFEND ANYBODY! But I did hope it made a few people laugh!

Report and flame away, I know I'm a hypocrite but I'll remind you that if I didn't like your story at least I gave you specific reasons.