The wind wirled all around me as i noticed the emptyness that surrounded me. How could this happen? How could I have ruined my own happiness?How could he leave me after all he promised me? The love of my existence gone. Was I not good enough for him? Had I done something to hurt him?
It was a normal day here in Forks. The only thing different was that my dad Charlie had grounded me and this time there was no visitation rights, phone calls, nothing. So that meant that I was not allowed to talk to Edward. I hated it when he did this. I think he knows how much it kills me to be away from Edward and so it has become his punishment. It has been a week with out a word from Edward. I missed him terribly the horrid thing was that it was Summer to, so there was not even the excuse of school to see him. Grrrrr... This was horrid timing.
Thankfully today he was working and I was home alone. I decided to call Edward up. He should be excited that I got a chance to talk to him. But suddenly I started to doubt wether or not I should. My stomach was telling me that it was a bad idea, but I needed to hear his voice. I didn't think I could go another day without it.
"Hey baby!" I heard Edwards voice on the other line. God he sounded so dreamy on the phone.
"Hey Babe, Charlie left and I thought maybe you would like to come over or something!" I was so happy to finally hear his voice that his next words never even registered.
"Ok, but babe we need to talk when I get there. Can we go for a walk or something?"
"Sure. I just need to see you."
"I'll be there soon."
Then I heard him hang up.
Wait did he just hang up and not say I love you? There was something wrong with this picture. I was terrified now. I needed to hear those words most of all now.
About 10 minutes later I heard his car pull up. I ran outside and threw myself on him, he hugged me then moved me back from him.
"We NEED to talk NOW." He said with a little more intensity than I would have liked.
"Ok, lets go."
After walking around the woods for a while, he turned to face me.
"Bella, I...I don't...think we should be...together anymore." I could see pain in his eyes. I didn't know what to say. I felt my body slowly breaking down, but I dont think my mind had caught up yet, because all I said was "ok."
I think he thought it wasn't hurting me because he said the 5 most painful words.
"I will always love you. I will always be here for you. Don't think that I will ever not care for you. I just don't think this is working anymore. Alice says that you have been talkin to Jacob alot more than normal and when you do its flirtatious. And your dad called me and said that you might be going to a hospital again. He says you have been upset. He tried 6 times to get a hold of me, but I knew it was coming. I can't make you happy. I love you, but I have to go."
And with that he walked away from me. I didn't know what to say. I loved him. I couldn't let him see how much it hurt me that he was leaving, so I waited until I knew he was gone. Then I let the tears fall. And they fell all night. I stumbled back home. I knew I looked bad, because when I got home Charlie was there. He was scared. I just told him I called Edward and he came over, and told him the story of how he left me yet again. I wasn't even in trouble. He just said to go to bed. It would all be better in the morning. I knew that it would not be better. The man I swore my life to just left me for god knows what reason, and he said he still loved me. If they thought I was bad before, they were in for a suprise. I went to my drawer and picked up the sharpest razor I had. I slowly slid it across my wrist. I did this a couple of times before I was able to calm down enough to try and get some sleep. I didnt even bother to hid the evidence this time. I fell asleep with blood still falling from my wrist, my pillow drenched in my own blood already, and the razor lyin on the pillow. Hoping to never awake to this nightmare again.