The Day "We" Became "Me"
Artemis entered the apartment in Palo Alto. Owen came running to her and began scratching at her legs, whining. Looking down, Artemis could see the dog seemed to know. He knew before she even told him.
Wally was gone.
Artemis closed the door behind her and went to sit down on the sofa where she and Wally had spent so many nights, watching movies and falling asleep with bowls of popcorn surrounding them. She looked around the lonely apartment. At the large TV Wally had bought and surprised her with. At the kitchen that would never again be harassed by Wally's terrible cooking. At the living room where they had entertained so many guests in their time as a couple. At the door that led to the room they had once shared.
Tears came to her eyes as she looked at that door. Never again would Wally lift her from the sofa in his strong arms and carry her into that room when they fell asleep watching a movie. Never again would they share a bed together. Never again would she wake up to his smiling face.
Wally was gone.
Artemis looked down at the green suit she was wearing. This was what she had wanted, ever since she and Wally had left the hero life. She had wanted to go back. She wanted to be Artemis again. The archer. Green Arrow's protege. She had wanted it so much that she had been willing to risk everything she had with Wally for one last, dangerous mission. She was willing to give up the life they had made together.
But in all the hours she had spent in Black Manta's ship rethinking what she had done, she had never once seen this outcome. She had thought it would be her who would die if ever discovered by any of Manta's people. And yet, it had been Wally who died, not hidden away on the enemy's ship, but fighting to save the world.
He was a true hero. And heroes never die, right?
Wrong.
Wally was gone.
He was gone from her life and he was never coming back.
There was a knock at the door and Artemis pulled herself to her feet to answer it. She didn't even care that she was still wearing her Artemis suit, without her mask. If it was one of the neighbors then they would simply have to deal with the fact that they lived next to a lonely former superhero.
It wasn't a neighbor. Artemis opened the door to find Nightwing standing there in casual clothing. She almost didn't recognize him for a second. She narrowed her eyes at him. Even after years of knowing him, he had never once let her see him without his mask or dark glasses covering his identity.
"Can I come in?" he asked her, meeting her eyes and giving her a faint smile.
Artemis nodded, unable to speak. She knew that Wally had known Nightwing's identity, and many other parts of his past, as the two of them had been the best of friends. But neither of them had ever shared that information with her.
"How are you?" Nightwing asked her, sitting down on the sofa in Wally's spot. Artemis sat down on the seat across from the sofa, not wanting to sit too close, afraid he might change his mind about telling her who he really was.
Artemis nodded again, still not able to find her voice. She knew Wally's death was just as hard on Nightwing as it was on her. He had known Wally even longer than she had.
"Look, I came here tonight to share something with you. I thought... I thought it might help you to cope. Some happiness in this time of darkness." He took a deep breath, pulled out a camera and then gestured for her to come sit beside him. Artemis moved to sit close to him and as he went through the camera, looking for a certain picture, Artemis felt she had seen the camera before. It made her think of a memory long forgotten of a boy in a Gotham high school...
Nightwing seemed to finally find what he was looking for and he handed the camera to Artemis so she could see the picture. It was a picture of her with a young black haired boy. Suddenly, she was overcome with the memory. It had been her first day of school. She had been touring the campus. A boy had suddenly run up beside her and taken a picture of the two of them saying they would laugh about it one day. And, just as quickly, he had been gone.
"That was you," Artemis said, realization dawning on her as she looked at him. As she saw his smiling face, she couldn't help but let out a small giggle.
"I'm Dick Grayson. I was a freshman when you came in as a sophomore."
Artemis nodded, just staring at the picture. "And you knew who I was, even back then..." She shook her head in wonder. "You were right there, in front of me, the entire time!" Then, a sudden thought occurred to her. "That night, when we both went through the zeta tube in Gotham and the Reds had attacked Mount Justice and you asked me what I was doing in Gotham when I should have been in Star City. You knew and you were just messing with me!"
Dick Grayson smiled and nodded. "Sorry about that."
Artemis shook her head. "And Wally knew who you were the entire time, too, right? Did he know you went to school with me?"
"Of course not, he would have transferred as soon as he found out," Dick replied with a soft laugh.
They talked for a little while longer, but eventually Dick Grayson left. Artemis was left feeling emptier than she had before his arrival. She began walking towards the door that led to her and Wally's bedroom before stopping herself. She stood there, frozen, for a moment. And then she turned and entered the bathroom in the hallway. She had a drawer of clothes in there for when Wally took too long in their bathroom. She was grateful for it. She didn't think she could enter that room for a while. She quickly changed and then walked back out.
Owen was sleeping on the sofa and she went over to him and curled up around him. She could still smell Wally's unique scent on the cushions of the sofa and she breathed deeply with her eyes closed, never wanting to lose that smell.
This was her life now.
Wally was gone.
The next morning, Artemis woke to an insistent knocking on the door. Owen was sitting in front of the door, barking. Artemis pulled herself to her feet and walked over to the door and opened it.
Standing on her porch were Zatanna and Raquel. They both gave her wide smiles before proceeding to enter her apartment. She didn't even bother to try to send them away. There was no arguing with those two women.
"How are you, girl?" Raquel asked, taking a seat on the sofa with Zatanna floating beside her.
"I'm fine," Artemis said, not wanting to have to deal with what they would do if she told the truth. That she wasn't fine. That she would never be fine.
Wally was gone.
Zatanna raised an eyebrow at her skeptically. "I'm fine," Artemis reiterated. "I just... I just need some time, okay?"
Zatanna nodded and floated back into a standing position. "I'll just take Raquel and be going then." Artemis thanked Zatanna for being so understanding. Raquel didn't look like she wanted to leave so quickly, but she didn't argue with the other League member. Artemis locked the door behind them and sat down on the ground. She held her head in her hands as tears began to fall down her cheeks.
Wally was gone.
That was the only comprehensible thought in her head. Everything else was distorted and unclear. The only thing she could focus on was the fact that Wally was gone and he would never come back.
Owen came to her and licked her hand in comfort. Artemis pulled him close and he cuddled into her embrace. Artemis closed her eyes, enjoying the moment of peace.
But she was interrupted as someone knocked on the door. She was tempted to not even get up from where she was sitting, but she knew who it was as a presence tried to enter her mind. She blocked the presence as she got to her feet and went to open the door.
M'gann and Connor stood outside her door with Wolf this time. She sighed and opened the door all the way to let them inside. As soon as they were inside, M'gann's skin turned green again as she no longer had to hide herself from the people in the neighborhood.
"How are you, Artemis?" M'gann asked in her usual boisterous manner. Connor was quiet and remained standing as M'gann made herself at home on the sofa. Artemis sat down on the floor again and Wolf came and nuzzled her. He then curled his large body around her and she relaxed into his familiar embrace.
"I'm fine," Artemis said, repeating the lie she had told Zatanna and Raquel. How many times were her closest friends going to force her to repeat the same lie today? Didn't they know she wasn't fine? Didn't they know she would never be fine again?
Connor watched her evenly, knowing she wasn't telling the truth. But what did they expect? For her to break down in their presence? For her to actually be perfectly fine the day after her boyfriend gave his life to save the world?
"I need time, guys. I'm sorry. I'm just not ready to talk to anyone right now." Artemis stood up and M'gann and Connor, thankfully, took this as their cue to leave. Artemis opened the door for them and Wolf followed them out.
She closed the door and sighed in exhaustion. She looked over at the kitchen clock. It was nine in the morning. And she was already prepared to throw herself in a bed and sleep for a thousand years.
Just then, her cell phone rang. She almost didn't pick it up, but then she saw that it was her mother's number. "Hello?"
"Sweetheart, Batman has just told me what happened! I am so sorry, Artemis. Wallace was a good man. He...he was good for you." Her voice broke on the last sentence and tears came to Artemis's eyes. How many dinners with her mother and Wally's parents had she gone to? They had all expected Artemis and Wally to get married, to have children, to grow old together.
But instead the previous night Artemis had gone to the Wests' home to tell them their son was gone forever.
Artemis choked back tears and couldn't respond. "It's okay, honey," her mother said soothingly. "Everything will be okay."
But it wouldn't. Artemis knew that. Nothing would ever be okay again.
"I have to go, Mom. Goodbye."
She then hung up the phone and threw it on the coffee table. She sat down on the floor with her back to the wall and pulled her knees in and wrapped her arms around her legs. She rocked back and forth, keeping her tears in check. She knew this was the same position she had gone into when the Reds had attacked Mount Justice and she had thought everyone on the Team was going to die because there was nothing she could do to save them
To save Wally.
She had saved them that time.
But this time things were different. The stakes had been higher and Artemis hadn't been there. She hadn't been able to save the one and only person in her life that meant the entire world to her.
Artemis just wanted to sit alone in her empty apartment and wallow in her own depression. She knew it was a sad thought, but it was the only thing she wanted at the moment.
But, of course, the world hardly cared for what she wanted.
There was a slow knocking at the door and Artemis pulled herself together again, got to her feet, and walked to the door and opened it.
Apparently coming in pairs was no longer sufficient for her family and friends. Standing outside her door were Oliver Queen with Dinah Lance, both Roy Harpers, Jade with Lian, and Jim Harper, the former Guardian.
Artemis stepped back to let them all inside. There wasn't enough seating for everyone, so Jade sat down on the sofa with Lian in her arms and Roy at her side while the first Roy sat on the chair across from the sofa and Jim sat on the arm of the sofa. Ollie and Dinah remained standing.
"What can I do for you guys?" Artemis asked them, crossing her arms over her chest to let them know she was less than pleased with the sudden attack.
"We've just come to check in on you, sweetie," Ollie said, placing a hand on her shoulder. Artemis didn't pull away, as she wanted to. It was simply too comforting. Looking into Ollie's eyes, she finally wanted to simply let herself go. To lose herself in her sorrow and allow someone to hold her. All day she had been telling everyone she was fine. Telling them she didn't need them. But the truth was, she needed someone to hold her and let let her tell them things would never be fine again.
Oliver saw her expression and pulled her into a hug. His strong arms wrapped around her and she laid her head against his chest, feeling his steady heartbeat in her ears. She wrapped her arms around him and held him. This was the father she never had. The father who trained her to be a hero. The father who never lost faith in her, even when she had lost faith in herself. He had always believed in her and knew she would do the right thing. He was nothing like Sportsmaster. He was kind and caring and thoughtful. And he was the one person in whose arms she was willing to allow herself to break down.
Arms wrapped around her from behind her as Ollie and she went down to their knees, clutching each other tightly. Artemis turned to see Dinah, holding her as well, supporting her silently. And then, suddenly, Roy was there as well, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder and squeezing. Jade sat down on the floor beside her, with Lian in her arms. The first Roy moved closer, though he didn't move to provide her any comfort. Jim Harper sat down on the ground behind Jade.
And suddenly, this large and misshapen family of archers and their family members was surrounding her, enveloping her in comfort and love. Ollie and Dinah didn't let go of her for a second as she cried herself dry. Jade never moved away, even when Lian began crying. Roy never removed his comforting hand.
These were the people she cared about most in the world, the people she was still willing to fight for. How could she allow herself to slump into depression when these people still needed to be protected? Her young niece, her wheelchair-ridden mother, her ever-changing sister, the broken former archer that was the first Roy, the wonderful friend she had found in Red Arrow, the former Guardian that had joined this family, the woman who had trained with her and encouraged her to always tell the truth, and the mentor that had never given up on her.
These were the people she needed to keep herself together for. These were the people Wally would expect her to keep fighting for.
After a while, Jade had left with Lian and Roy, followed by the first Roy and Jim. Ollie and Dinah had remained with Artemis, still holding her between them, two pillars of strength enveloping her and holding her tight and close.
"I'm going to rejoin the Team, officially," Artemis whispered.
Ollie's brow bunched up in concern. "Are you sure about that, sweetie?"
Artemis nodded. "But not as Artemis. She was Wally's partner. As Tigress."
Dinah nodded. "That sounds like a good idea, Artemis," she said gently.
Artemis took a deep breath, done crying. She looked from Oliver Queen to Dinah Lance and smiled faintly. "Thank you both so much. For everything you've done for me. For taking me in even when I was the daughter of two criminals, for training me even when I wanted to give up, for believing in me even when there was so much suspicion against me. Thank you for always standing by my more than anything, thank you for first introducing me to the Team. If not for you two, and Batman, I would never have met the best and closest friends I've ever had."
Ollie and Dinah simply nodded in understanding. Artemis hugged them both before they left her small apartment. Owen came to stand beside her as she stared at the front door after they were gone.
She then turned around and began walking in the direction of the door that led to her bedroom.
Wally was gone, but she had to go on.
She opened the door slowly. She walked inside. She made her way over to the chest of drawers. One side had been hers, and the other had been Wally's. She opened one of the sections on Wally's side and looked inside, not entirely sure what she was looking for.
Right before she was about to close the drawer again, something caught her eye. It was one of Wally's socks, but it was rolled around something.
She carefully picked up the sock and unrolled it. Inside was a small velvet box. Artemis gasped and tears sprang into her eyes. She slowly opened the box and found a gleaming diamond ring inside. An engagement ring. Wally had been planning on proposing to her.
She looked inside the drawer again and found that some paper was sticking out of the bottom. She pulled them out and found that they were plane tickets. To Paris, France.
Artemis shook her head, falling to her knees with the velvet box in one hand and the plane tickets in the other. This was what her life could have been. She could have had a husband, a honeymoon in Paris, children, everything.
And she had foolishly thrown it all away when she agreed to help Nightwing and Aqualad on their quest to expose the Light. She had no regrets, she had helped bring down an organization that planned to take over the world. But she still felt the guilt of Wally's death in her heart. It was her fault he had had to agree to letting his would-be fiance go off on a dangerous mission. Her fault he had agreed to fight in the final battle.
Her fault.
Everything was her fault.