Show theme: The Rufus show
Chris = Rufus, the time traveler from the Bill and Ted movies.
Chris: Welcome to the Rufus Show! The show that makes you ask "what if?" Today we have two guests and here is Muhammad Ali, and Sunny Bonno!
(Look off stage and look distraught, and soundlessly shout "What?!")
Chris: (to the audience) Well due to recent cuts in funding, and the fact that the show was just bought by PBS, Ali and Sunny will not appear today…But, we have some others….our guests today will be…..(look of stage again, and look back) Sourjourner Truth, and Martin Luther!
Josie: I'm glad to be here. What can I do for you? Need a little religious advice?
Chris: No thanks. Now let's meet our second guest...umm where is she?
Well anyways. This here ladies and gentlemen is Martin Luther. He is...
Josie: I am the Martin Luther. Reformer and revolutionary. I live to save the masses of this earth. I am a Protestant and I viewed the church as doing wrongful things while selling their stupid wortless indulgences to become rich! In protest, my dear ladies and gentleman, I posted this here paper on the church door back during the 1800's when I was starting up the Protestant Reformation against the Catholics of that time.
Chris: hey hey!, you're from Germany right? (Something in German).
Josie: um...yeah, that's right...Who is the other guest?
Chris: Oh...yeah! Today's second guest is....?
*enter Ryan*
Chris: Oh you? I thought you were the help here!
Ryan: Boy! Don't make me stand up and smack you!
Chris: Sorry....hehe...anyway, so wat'up G?
Ryan: I am not "G"! I am the voice of God on earth! I am the leader of the women, the slave, and the broken free men! I am, Sojourner Truth! I am a Woman's rights activist of the 18th century and I am with the Nothern Baptists! I'm a friend of the once proud Abraham Lincoln and I freed slaves of their dreadful duties through the Underground Railroad. Now sit down and respect me!
Chris: oh...ok. Lets get on with the show!!!!! Luther, let's start with you. You can ask any question you wish...
Josie: Thanks Rufus! Now lemme see...oh yes Truth...I see that you are a God fairing person truth, it is good to see that Protestants finally made it big.
Ryan: I'm no Protestant. I'm pure Catholic.
Josie: Oh…I see, well I guess The Church survives my reformation?
Ryan: Reformation? What you talking about? I ain't ever heard of you.
Josie: What?! Were you taught nothing in school? I am Martin Luther!
Ryan: Yeah, Rufus said that, so what?
Josie: I'll show you what! (Pull out long piece of paper with the "95 Thesis's" on it.) This is my work to show the masses that the church that controlled every aspect of their lives was corrupted through and through! I made these Theses's to tell of the selling of salvation, the lies, and the general greed of the church and pope in order for them to become very rich!
Ryan: Oh…well that's good for you. But my life is not controlled by the pope or his church. hehe...
(Luther should be smoldering in Anger, and truth should just look content, when…)
Chris: Time for a commercial break!...(look up to the heavens and mouth: thank god"
(look "happily" back at the audience and make up a little dance to do while making some theme music with your mouth)
Chris: Well…I guess that PBS does not have commercial breaks...Thought in this place they would at least let us take some kind of break...Must be the manager...well..Any way lets go into questions. So Luther, it says here that you defied the pope and the church as a whole, why did you do this?
Josie: uhh I thought I was asking the questions...umm ok but I did it cuz they were wrong!...and umm...yeah my turn again...
Ryan: Sigh...
Josie: So Truth, if I could call you that. I heard that you are a person of God.
Ryan: That is fine and yes! I am a person of God. I hear his Voice! I listen to his commands! I do what's right for the women of this Earth!
Josie: So Truth, I know you are a God fairing woman, what do you do?
Ryan: I stand for the people kept in chains, and fight to raise their souls.
Josie: All people have a place deemed by where god put them; you have no right to interfere with God's will, whether you like it or not.
Ryan: God didn't put me and my people in chains
Josie: The lord works in mysterious ways; maybe your people committed some savage sin?
Ryan: I don't think so, my Lord is a good Lord, and it was you, the white man who put us in chains. I know this because I talk to God, he said it ain't so.
Josie: Woman! How dare you say that you of all people, have talked to God directly! You can't even read the gospel, for that is the only way God truly speaks to us, his children.
Ryan: Woman?! Am I some how inferior to you?!
Josie: Why yes you are! You blacks and women are inferior to us white men! God made us supreme rulers of this planet and you women must serve us! Woman fetch me some water!
Ryan: Get your own water!! I'm not tolerating your insignificant requests you disgrace to God!
Chris: Whoa there you two! Let's take another break…ohh wait they don't do breaks in this place *smack self* well umm lets calm down there you two and get back to the show….
Josie: well what else do you want to talk about?! Time! I have little of it! Need more for my revolution!!! Let the reformation begin!!!
Chris: umm sir. This is the future. The reformation is over. Way over a long time ago. What are you thinking?!
Ryan: umm is this going anywhere??? I sense the oppression of my race….
Chris: umm what? Uhh allright I guess its time for our late show intermission. *FADE TO BLACK*
**intermission** wookie run into center screen, dance to intermission song, then run back off
Chris: Welcome back everybody! This is the show where everyone says What If??….
Josie: allright shuttup already. I wanna get on with my conversation with this disgrace to society here...
Ryan: WHAT!? disgrace to society?!?! What planet are you from?? We women would like to be treated equally! Without you men oppresing us all the time! Specially black women!!
Josie: Ok you little dark skinned devil! Get your filthy face out of this place and go back to where you came from! I don't want to see you anymore!! So get out of here, now!!
Ryan: What you...white supremist!!! Get away from me before I smack you!
Josie: Oh no you won't touch me! Get away from me. You devilish sin of God!
*both about to brawl so Rufus interferes*
Chris: Okay you two! Time to break this up!!!
*Chris pushes Josie out one side and Ryan out the other*
Chris: Thank you for watching the Rufus show. please stay tuned for tomorrows show where we love to say "What if!?" Tomorrow's guests will be Gandhi and Hitler...
Thanks and Goodbye!!
*end with theme music and Chris dancing*
Ryan, Chris and Josie return to camera to give a bow or whatever then introduce who they were or whatever and blah blah blah its done...yay!!!
Chris = Rufus, the time traveler from the Bill and Ted movies.
Chris: Welcome to the Rufus Show! The show that makes you ask "what if?" Today we have two guests and here is Muhammad Ali, and Sunny Bonno!
(Look off stage and look distraught, and soundlessly shout "What?!")
Chris: (to the audience) Well due to recent cuts in funding, and the fact that the show was just bought by PBS, Ali and Sunny will not appear today…But, we have some others….our guests today will be…..(look of stage again, and look back) Sourjourner Truth, and Martin Luther!
Josie: I'm glad to be here. What can I do for you? Need a little religious advice?
Chris: No thanks. Now let's meet our second guest...umm where is she?
Well anyways. This here ladies and gentlemen is Martin Luther. He is...
Josie: I am the Martin Luther. Reformer and revolutionary. I live to save the masses of this earth. I am a Protestant and I viewed the church as doing wrongful things while selling their stupid wortless indulgences to become rich! In protest, my dear ladies and gentleman, I posted this here paper on the church door back during the 1800's when I was starting up the Protestant Reformation against the Catholics of that time.
Chris: hey hey!, you're from Germany right? (Something in German).
Josie: um...yeah, that's right...Who is the other guest?
Chris: Oh...yeah! Today's second guest is....?
*enter Ryan*
Chris: Oh you? I thought you were the help here!
Ryan: Boy! Don't make me stand up and smack you!
Chris: Sorry....hehe...anyway, so wat'up G?
Ryan: I am not "G"! I am the voice of God on earth! I am the leader of the women, the slave, and the broken free men! I am, Sojourner Truth! I am a Woman's rights activist of the 18th century and I am with the Nothern Baptists! I'm a friend of the once proud Abraham Lincoln and I freed slaves of their dreadful duties through the Underground Railroad. Now sit down and respect me!
Chris: oh...ok. Lets get on with the show!!!!! Luther, let's start with you. You can ask any question you wish...
Josie: Thanks Rufus! Now lemme see...oh yes Truth...I see that you are a God fairing person truth, it is good to see that Protestants finally made it big.
Ryan: I'm no Protestant. I'm pure Catholic.
Josie: Oh…I see, well I guess The Church survives my reformation?
Ryan: Reformation? What you talking about? I ain't ever heard of you.
Josie: What?! Were you taught nothing in school? I am Martin Luther!
Ryan: Yeah, Rufus said that, so what?
Josie: I'll show you what! (Pull out long piece of paper with the "95 Thesis's" on it.) This is my work to show the masses that the church that controlled every aspect of their lives was corrupted through and through! I made these Theses's to tell of the selling of salvation, the lies, and the general greed of the church and pope in order for them to become very rich!
Ryan: Oh…well that's good for you. But my life is not controlled by the pope or his church. hehe...
(Luther should be smoldering in Anger, and truth should just look content, when…)
Chris: Time for a commercial break!...(look up to the heavens and mouth: thank god"
(look "happily" back at the audience and make up a little dance to do while making some theme music with your mouth)
Chris: Well…I guess that PBS does not have commercial breaks...Thought in this place they would at least let us take some kind of break...Must be the manager...well..Any way lets go into questions. So Luther, it says here that you defied the pope and the church as a whole, why did you do this?
Josie: uhh I thought I was asking the questions...umm ok but I did it cuz they were wrong!...and umm...yeah my turn again...
Ryan: Sigh...
Josie: So Truth, if I could call you that. I heard that you are a person of God.
Ryan: That is fine and yes! I am a person of God. I hear his Voice! I listen to his commands! I do what's right for the women of this Earth!
Josie: So Truth, I know you are a God fairing woman, what do you do?
Ryan: I stand for the people kept in chains, and fight to raise their souls.
Josie: All people have a place deemed by where god put them; you have no right to interfere with God's will, whether you like it or not.
Ryan: God didn't put me and my people in chains
Josie: The lord works in mysterious ways; maybe your people committed some savage sin?
Ryan: I don't think so, my Lord is a good Lord, and it was you, the white man who put us in chains. I know this because I talk to God, he said it ain't so.
Josie: Woman! How dare you say that you of all people, have talked to God directly! You can't even read the gospel, for that is the only way God truly speaks to us, his children.
Ryan: Woman?! Am I some how inferior to you?!
Josie: Why yes you are! You blacks and women are inferior to us white men! God made us supreme rulers of this planet and you women must serve us! Woman fetch me some water!
Ryan: Get your own water!! I'm not tolerating your insignificant requests you disgrace to God!
Chris: Whoa there you two! Let's take another break…ohh wait they don't do breaks in this place *smack self* well umm lets calm down there you two and get back to the show….
Josie: well what else do you want to talk about?! Time! I have little of it! Need more for my revolution!!! Let the reformation begin!!!
Chris: umm sir. This is the future. The reformation is over. Way over a long time ago. What are you thinking?!
Ryan: umm is this going anywhere??? I sense the oppression of my race….
Chris: umm what? Uhh allright I guess its time for our late show intermission. *FADE TO BLACK*
**intermission** wookie run into center screen, dance to intermission song, then run back off
Chris: Welcome back everybody! This is the show where everyone says What If??….
Josie: allright shuttup already. I wanna get on with my conversation with this disgrace to society here...
Ryan: WHAT!? disgrace to society?!?! What planet are you from?? We women would like to be treated equally! Without you men oppresing us all the time! Specially black women!!
Josie: Ok you little dark skinned devil! Get your filthy face out of this place and go back to where you came from! I don't want to see you anymore!! So get out of here, now!!
Ryan: What you...white supremist!!! Get away from me before I smack you!
Josie: Oh no you won't touch me! Get away from me. You devilish sin of God!
*both about to brawl so Rufus interferes*
Chris: Okay you two! Time to break this up!!!
*Chris pushes Josie out one side and Ryan out the other*
Chris: Thank you for watching the Rufus show. please stay tuned for tomorrows show where we love to say "What if!?" Tomorrow's guests will be Gandhi and Hitler...
Thanks and Goodbye!!
*end with theme music and Chris dancing*
Ryan, Chris and Josie return to camera to give a bow or whatever then introduce who they were or whatever and blah blah blah its done...yay!!!