Mary sat by the grave. She went there often; it was as though she needed reminding of what had happened. Every morning she would wake up and feel for Matthew on the other side of the bed but every morning she would find nothing but a cold empty space. Every morning Anna would bring her breakfast in bed and every morning Mary would not touch a crumb. Every morning Mary would rise and put on whatever Anna suggested. Mary had never felt so empty or alone.

Her mother was trying to interest her in a series of suitable tasks such as organising charity functions or paying calls. Instead Mary would go to William's nursery room and spend the day with him. She had organised a bed to be put in there so she could nap there while he was. Her father had tried to hire a nanny but Mary would not hear of it. Any shouts of "But this is not the way things are done" were met with a silencing look and Robert had long given up. The only two people Mary smiled for now was William and occasionally Isobel, on the whole however, Mary was in a state of constant emptiness. She said little and only occasionally left the house since the funeral.

The funeral… Mary had not cried. She could not. She felt almost as thought that would be an acceptance. And she could not accept it. How could she? Life without Matthew was unimaginable even though it was real.

One day, she was sat by the grave and she noticed a shadow, she looked up and it was Tom. He gave her a weak smile and said that he was going to see Sybil.

Mary turned back to Matthew's grave and continued to stare at it. After five or so minutes, she heard Tom begin to whisper to Sybil's grave. He was whispering about little Sybbie who had taken her first steps and was beginning to talk, he was whispering about the estate and then she heard him say her name.

"Mary looks so empty Sybil my darling, I want to help her. I know you wouldn't be happy to see her so distraught, nor Matthew for that matter. I don't know how to reach her Sybil….."

Mary turned her head back to Matthew's grave and put her head on the ground, that way she was closer to Matthew as she tried to drown out Tom's words.

….

Mary woke with a shock. The dream had been so real… Matthew wasn't dead in the dream. He was just delayed by a flock of birds on the road. It was just the birds….

Then, like every night the truth hit her. Matthew was never coming back. Never coming back…

….

The day had passed horribly for Mary; she was having a bit of down day. She spent the day with William in the bed next to his crib. She had agreed to go to dinner that night, although when Anna had come to find her after the gong she had refused to change.

Dinner was painful. Every member of the family was attempting to engage Mary in some kind of conversation but to no avail. She gave only yes or no answers and on the whole just ignored them. Finally she was so tired of the endless questions and she left the table with an "I think I'll go to bed."

Everyone at the table stared at her forlornly and wondered how on earth they could bring Matthew's Mary back.

…

Mary had grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the library. She waited until there was no one in the hallway and slipped outside. As she walked to the graveyard, she drank the whiskey, gulp after gulp after gulp. It made her feel beautifully warm inside. When Mary arrived, she sat herself next to the grave and almost snuggled into it. She kept drinking and pretended that the warmth it filled her with was actually Matthew's arms surrounding her. She almost smiled and did not notice the torrential rain that was beginning to fall.

….

Tom knew it was probably not proper but that had never been the way he had worked. So, on the way to his room, he knocked on Mary's room. He wanted to cheer her up, for Sybil. There was no answer so he put his head around the door. The bed was empty. Tom frowned and paused for a moment in an attempt to figure out where she could be. His first thought was the nursery but Mary was not there. That could only mean… Matthew's grave.

Tom did not want to alarm anyone so he fetched a coat and a blanket and went straight to the grave. He walked as quickly as he could, aware of the increasing volume of rain. Fortunately, he could see relatively easily as that night there was a full moon, silently he thanked God. When Matthew's grave came into view he was horrified to see what looked to be Mary lying down on the soaking ground - the rain had been falling heavily for a while. He ran towards her and that was when he noticed the empty bottle of whisky. Oh dear God. Mary was shaking with the cold and she was soaked to the bone.

"Mary?" he said in her ear.

No response.

"Mary!" This time he almost bellowed.

There was still no response. Wrapping the miraculously dry blanket around her, Tom lifted her into his arms and went as quickly as he could back to Downton.

…

Tom woke up confused at first. Then he realised – Mary. He had fallen asleep in the chair next to her bed. Cora had tried to get him to go to bed but he had maintained that it was his duty to watch over her for Sybil. Cora had not argued with this. He looked over to Mary now fast asleep and with a peaceful look on her face. He almost smiled; she actually looked like herself for the first time in ages. Clarkson had examined her but had decided she did not have pneumonia and after being carefully warmed up and bed rest, would be, to an extent, perfectly well. He had given a bitter laugh at this announcement, how could she be well? He understood entirely how Mary felt. He still felt like that at times when he thought about his dear Sybil. But he knew too well that for William's sake, she had to become herself again and very soon, very very soon he was determined that he would talk to her and bring her to her senses. Oh! If only it was that easy he thought….