'Twas the Night Before ORAS
SPOILER WARNING: Contains ORAS spoilers (duh)
To be read in the meter of "'Twas the Night Before Christmas"
'Twas the night before ORAS when, all through the land,
Every nerd was still stirring with stylus in hand.
They kept their hands poised and they waited with care
In hopes that the "buy" button soon would be there.
Last night, they'd been happy to rest in their beds
While bright 3D images danced in their heads.
But now that the time of the remakes drew near,
They sat, eyes wide open, and gathered all here.
The bells tolled twelve times and, with such a mad dash,
A real store would have been sold out in a flash.
Away to the download screen, players then waited
For their newest game, fingers crossed and breath bated.
The very first screen, with its nostalgic graphics,
Was more than enough to make most fans ecstatic.
The moving truck bumped them and hurled them about
As they longed for Drizzle or sought after Drought.
But disaster struck! The Professor ran scared
From one barking wolf cub, its flashing fangs bared.
Quick like a bunny and smart like a whip,
You quickly grabbed Treecko, Torchic, or Mudkip!
"Now, Beldum! now, Tailow! now, Surskit and Skitty!
On, Ralts! and on, Shroomish! to Petalburg City!
Our dreams draw e'er closer with each Pokèball!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"
But out comes a devilish grunt in a run:
He's there to wreak havoc and spoil your fun!
The scientist hides behind you in result
(He's maybe incompetent for an adult).
The grunt then attacks without one further warning
(Turn down your music! It's one in the morning!).
He went down far more easily than he aught;
These grown-ups sure seem to be useless a lot.
You travel then onward; you beat a few gyms
And a man comes, announced by your glorious hymns.
It's Steven Stone; listen to those fangirls swoon;
His very first line will take them to the moon.
It seems the nefarious organization
Who tried to attack you is sweeping the nation.
You meet an admin—one of their most elite—
And knock the socks right off of their boss's feet.
It's on to kick butt at more gyms in succession,
Increasingly stronger 'mons in your possession,
Until—and the bells ring merry on this day—
Steven and a dragon come whisk you away.
The dragon flies to the place where grunts are quibbling—
It seems that the morons are after its sibling!
Protecting the legend must have been a test,
Because it then joins you on your epic quest!
Your exploits will lead you atop of Mt. Pyre
Where that group of enemies stands to conspire.
They forcibly seize a mysterious gem;
You must take its brother and chase after them!
You keep on with strength and continue to fight
And end up in a cave where it's dark as night.
A great, mighty Pokèmon will now awake—
You feel the world's terror and feel the ground shake.
You take a protective suit of high-tech armor
And go to fight bravely with courage and honor.
Down there, underground, in a cavern so fell,
The beast's mighty rampage you manage to quell.
You finish your journey of grandeur and might
With one final enemy; one final fight.
'Tis Steven, the Champion revealed at last;
Your journey's wrapped up with a marvelous blast.
You know that there's more, and the post-game is grand,
But now you contentedly rest where you stand.
Falling back on your bed, you then say something trite:
"Merry ORAS to all, and to all a good night!"