The Adventures of Peroxide Man and the Boy Who Lived
Prologue
It's a world where Voldemort has been conquered, killed, and vanquished forever. It's a world where all caution is thrown to the wind; no evil can be conceived. It's a world where heroes are forgotten, yet the mediocre are lifted to prominence and prosperity. Two such people are about to collide head on. And it won't be pretty.
Ten years prior, Harry Potter destroyed the horcruxes and destroyed Voldemort. It took five years of blood and war, all culminating with Harry's praises being sung from every witch and wizard of Britain. After a year of honor, Harry's name was dropped from the vocabulary of the world. Just a name to be recorded in the books of history. Then he faced the real world.
He'd never graduated from Hogwarts, he'd never held a job but that of Voldemort's sole enemy. Harry was unqualified for most any job that did not include that cliched phrase, "do you want fries with that?" Mr. Weasley barely secured him a job at the ministry: as the secretary of the head of Magical Resources. It was degrading and dull, but circumstances were circumstances and they just couldn't be helped.
Chapter 1
Harry walked down the halls of the ministry in relative discomfort. Meetings upon meetings filled his already too busy schedule. In other words: this day was total hell. Then he saw it; the one thing that could turn his frown into a grimace of contempt, Draco Malfoy in all his greasy-glory.
"Why yes Minister, I do believe the 16th would be a delightful day for tea. Well, as soon as I finish that visit with those Trolls. Those crazy kids are always stirring up some trouble!", Draco's slimy ways had disgusted Harry, and charmed the Minister of Magic. As was apparent when the minister replied; "Trolls! Are you sure you'll be able to handle those buggers by tea time?"
"Tea-time! They'll be done by breakfast at the latest!" And the laughter that followed was so sickeningly fake, that Harry had the urge to lose his lunch. Although the taste of it had been nearly enough for that.
The minister said some last parting words to Draco, turned, and left. Malfoy spun around with a smirk painted ghastly across his pasty face. At the site of Harry, Draco beamed. Not a jolly beam, but a smile that was reminiscent of a man about to be avenged-or at least feel vastly superior.
"So Potter, how goes life as a secretary?" He paused for moment, letting the reminder of Harry's failed life sink in. Harry inwardly cringed.
"It's fine.", was his witty and biting reply.
"So I have some interesting news for you, Potter. I think you will be intrigued, in fact." Draco paused, and upon receiving no answer but a glare, he continued. "I was speaking to the Minister just the other day, as I often do, and he gave me a- well a special mission, if you will."
"Oh? And what's that?" Draco grinned.
"Well that's all very secret business…only for the top ministry officials to know. But you will find out in due time."
Harry was tired of his pompous prattle. He just wanted to get his horribly monotonous day over with, so he could go home and sleep.
"So why are you telling me this?" Draco's eyes lit up, about to reveal the intent behind his tale:
"Because you're coming with me."