A/N: Hey guys! So this is my first Buffy fan fic. I was influenced by the poem, "Porphyria's Lover" by Robert Browing and I came up with the idea in English class while reading it. I also used the song "Monster" by Paramore as an influence. If people like it enough I'll continue it so please review! Thanks! :)

Buffy, Willow, and Xander sat in English class. The bell hadn't run yet but their teacher was erasing something on the chalkboard. The class chatted among themselves.

"So how's Angel?" Willow excitedly asked Buffy.

"Oh joy! It's 'Let's Talk About Angel, the Hottest Vampire On Earth' time" Xander interjected, annoyed. He turned himself around and faced forward, "Let me know when you guys are done talking about him"

Buffy ignoring Xander and smiled at Willow. Willow looked at her with confusion, "What? Why are you smiling at me?" Buffy continued to smile at her. Out of desperation Willow gave in, "Buffy, what is it?" She moved her head about an inch from Willow's and whispered, "We are having a candle light dinner in my room. My mom is gone for the weekend so there's no way she could know"

Shocked, Willow replied "Buffy…. Are you going to…."

"You mean….that… no, I don't know"

Buffy's smile faded into a frown, "We haven't really spoken about that. It's not that I'm trying to push it. I'm ready and when it happens, it happen but I'm not quite sure if Angel is on the same page"

"Well. You should maybe bring it up maybe… so you can talk about it"

The bell rang. "Okay class" The teacher spoke, "That's the bell. Please pull out your English text books and turn to page 457. Today we are going to read Robert Browning's 'Porphyria's Lover'".

There was a knock at the door. He had everything perfect for her. There were candles lit all around his room. He just changed his sheets making sure they were the cleanest. He wanted tonight to be the highlight of his life. She made him forget everything he had done in the past. All the killings and torture he inflicted on others were nothing but the past when he was with her. She was nothing but pure happiness for him and that was the only thing he needed. He loved her.

He opened the door and saw Buffy Summers, the love of his life, standing in a long white gown. It was the same exact one she wore on the night she confronted The Master in. Her blonde shoulder length hair was in a tight bun that defined her plump pink cheeks. Around her neck hung the silver cross he had given her on the day they met. Their eyes locked on contact.

"Uh. Hi."

Her eyes blue eyes twinkled and he placed his arm around her waist pulling her inside and closing the door behind her. They embraced each other tightly. As they moved into each other, their lips barely touching, a bell rang. Angel looked up annoyed as Buffy rested her head against his.

"That's the mashed potatoes" He groaned annoyed. She giggled, "You made mash potatoes?".

"Yes, I did. They aren't just any ordinary batch of mash potatoes. They're special so you can't opt out by saying you don't eat carbs or whatever women of today say"

He led her over to a low Japanese table set up in the living room.

"Just sit down right here. I'll be right back" he said as he left her sitting at the table. She looked at the table. It was beautifully incrusted with Japanese engravings. The table, made of chestnut wood, had to be very expensive. Everything that hung on the wall in Angel's basement looked to have somewhat of value. On the wall to the right, hung a metal shield. It looked very dated. She was sure Giles would love have a good look at it.

Angel came back holding two plates of mashed potatoes, what looked like some kind of meat, and salad. He placed the plate in front of her.

"Bon appetite"

He placed his plate down and sat across from her. The sweet aroma tickled Buffy's nose and she smiled of contentness. He noticed the happiness inside of her.

"You haven't even had a bite of your dinner and you're already smiling?"

She picked up her fork with her tiny hands and gently touched the potatoes with her fork, scooping up a small fluff. "I'm just happy to be here with you." She placed the fork in her mouth and chewed.

"Me too" he agreed.

She took another bite of the potatoes, "This is really good, Angel. Where did you learn to cook like this?"

"It was my mother's recipe. When I was young she taught me how to make it. You have to get just the right amount of spices."

Buffy's heart dropped. His mother. He killed her. He must feel remorse now that he had his soul. What was it like to kill your own parents? Even if it had to be done, she could never kill her mom. Her relationship at this time was the only "normal" one she had. With Willow and Xander they mostly focused on slaying stuff, though they had fun, but with her mom it was completely different. She knew nothing of her destiny. Sometimes it pained Buffy that her mom could never know. If something ever happened to Buffy… she couldn't even bare to think such thoughts.

"What was your mother like?" Buffy scolded herself inside, "Way to go Buff, make him feel more remorseful"

"She was beautiful. She was always dressed appropriately. She was never cross with my brothers and sisters and I. I had always told myself that I would grow up to marry a beautiful and kind woman like her."

"There's still hope"

Angel frowned, stood up, and turned his back to Buffy.

"There is no hope for me. I'm doomed" he whimpered.

Buffy went to him. She reached her hands around his waist and pulled him close. Resting her head on his back she whispered, "You have hope. You have me". He turned around and looked her in the eye. He could feel her warm blood racing through her petite body, "I want you." He placed a hand on his cheek, "Then, take me" She whispered. He put his lips to her neck and dug his teeth into her skin. He could taste the rich warm blood on his lips.

Angel woke up instantly, in a sweat. His body was moist and he was panting. It was a dream, just a dream. The dream was so vivid it could have been real. He pulled himself out of bed. He placed his face in his palms.

"I can't hurt her. She's all I have"

Buffy, Xander, and Willow left their English class.

"That class is such a bore" Buffy yawned.

"Totally. What about that poem we read today? Super creepy." Willow shivered with goose bumps

"A Man who kills his love. You know what I call that? A monster." Xander spat

"Let's just hope that doesn't happen to us" Buffy said to Willow and Xander automatically glared at her.

"Xander, how many times do I have to tell you? Angel is a good vampire"

"Hello! Vampire? I think we can count that as a 'monster'"

Willow interjected, "Xander, I think Buffy has gotten to a point where she doesn't care about your opinion so trying to persuade her to stop loving Angel isn't going to happen"

As they approached the outside courtyard Xander began to span the scenery, "Okay well it was great talking to you both. I'll see you tomorrow". He left them, appearing out of sight. Buffy and Willow exchanged confused glances.

"Hm. That's weird. You totally just let Xander have it and he ignored it" Buffy said.

"Yeah. I know" She said surprised, "Ha I told him. Go me."

Buffy giggled at her Willow's awkward moment of glory. She opened her backpack and pulled out her math binder, "Hey I gotta go talk to Mr. Reading about letting me retake my math quiz. I'll talk to you later"

"And do not tell Giles that the reason why I can't patrol is because I'm seeing Angel. If it comes up just say I'm grounded… or something" Buffy said back to her friend.

Willow stood in the hall, alone, "I'm horrible at lying"

"Willow!" Giles came coming down the steps, "Do you know where Buffy is? I need to speak with her". The back of Willow's neck became very hot and she felt her palms begin to sweat, "Uh. Yea. Buffy. She went to Mr. Reading classroom. She has to uh retake a quiz"

Giles' face dropped, "She failed a quiz? Did she study?"

Willow body cramped, she was nervous, "Uh. Yeah. No. I don't know!"

"Okay well, when you see her tell her to meet me in the library. She needs to patrol tonight"

"Oh. She can't Angel is going over to her house and they're having a romantic dinner alone" Willow said smiling with love drunkenness. The second she realized she told him exactly what Buffy said not to she tried to take it back, "Erm. No, I didn't mean that. I actually meant… I don't know what I meant urgh!" Willow walked away exasperated with frustration.

Giles watched Willow stamp down the hallway confused.

After school Buffy stopped by the library. When she entered the double doors she saw Giles sitting down at the table reading a book. He noticed her enter, "Ah, Buffy" he said getting up from his chair to meet her, "Just the one I wanted to speak with"

"If the subject you want to speak about is slaying vampires, than I'm your girl" she said smiling gleeful, "Oh but I can't slay any tonight. I'm grounded"

Giles looked interested, "Oh really? Well I remember you saying your mother was going to be away this weekend. Why would she ground you and let you stay all alone at home?"

"Oh… yeah she decided she would stay home"

"Willow mentioned Angel was going to come over."

Buffy was annoyed, "Ugh Willow" she said quietly to herself, "Yeah he's uh, having dinner with us. Mom said if I couldn't go out I might as well let him come to me"

"Buffy, I know your mother will not be home and I know Angel is coming to your house"

Busted. Buffy was embarrassed. Of course Willow couldn't keep her big mouth shut.

"Giles, Look, I just want to be a regular teenager and be able to have fun. Blame me for wanting to be normal why don't, you"

"But Buffy, Alone… with Angel…"

Buffy became disgusted, "GILES! NO. Ew we are not… doing that"

Giles stepped back a little surprised, "Oh… I wasn't implying…"

Willow and Xander entered the library.

"What's going on?" Xander said completely unaware of the subject of their conversation

"I gotta go" Buffy said as she jetted out the doors.

Xander and Willow exchanged confused glances.

"I have a feeling this was all my fault" Willow said with worry

Giles glared at her, "You're right. It is."

Buffy sat in her dark room illuminated by candle lights. He made sure to clean her room and make her bed before he came tonight. It took her almost 2 hours to get every single speck of dust off her furniture. She even found spiders hiding in the corners of her room, which to her dismay were large. Luckily for her, she tough enough to smash their bodies that ultimately lead to their death. She found an old round table in the basement that her mom had at their old house and placed it in the middle of her room. She set the tables, placing forks, knifes, napkins. Even if he did not want to eat he wanted it to appear as normal as possible.

She prayed some of her perfume into the room, making it smell of fresh flowers.

As her back was turned to her window she heard a crack in the trees. She instantly pulled out her stake. It was an automatic thing now. Slowly she stepped to her window and peered out. Nothing seemed to be wrong. As she turned around she saw Angel there sitting on her bed. She gasped with surprise.

In a second he was up on his feet, at her side, embracing her, "I'm sorry. Did I scare you?"

"Only a little. How did you get in?"

"The front door. I tried to be as human as possible"

Buffy giggled, resting her head on his chest, "The humanly thing to do would be to knock first."

"Oh. Right"

Buffy pulled away from him and peered down at her watch and realized it was only 6:30. Angel said he would come at 7.

"Why are you here so early? I know it's because you can't wait just 30 minutes to see me" she joked placing her palm on his right cheek. He placed his left hand on hers, "Yeah. About that…"

He stared into her beautiful eyes. She looked up at him with bewilderment, probably expecting him to say something cute and make her say "Aw". "Uh. Can we still down?" he asked, nervously.

"Sure" She said confused. He led her to her bed. Buffy leaned her back against her backboard, hoping Angel would sit near her. Instead he sat on the foot of the bed with his back faced to her. Something was wrong. His demeanor was off and the way he was acting wasn't normal.

"Buffy, when I'm around you, all I can do is think of ways to get you to kiss me. I think about you before I go to bed and when I wake up. I have never felt this way about someone before. If something ever happened to you… I don't know what I would do. But I know what I would feel. I would feel like dying."

"Don't say things like that"

"It's true"

"Well nothing is going to happen to me then"

"What if I did something to you…?"

"Angel, what is going on? What brought this on all of a sudden?"

He looked back at her, "I had a dream. You were in my studio… and-"

"And what, Angel?" her toned was annoyed. She was confused. If only she knew what was going inside his head. He didn't answer so she scooted herself behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Nothing is going to happen to me" she whispered into his ear.

"You say that now"

"I'm the Slayer. I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself"

He ripped out of her arms and went over to the window in frustration, "NO! You don't understand! You may be the Slayer but you're still a human and humans have weaknesses"

"If you're saying I can't take care of myself, you're wrong"

"You can't take care of yourself with me. You trust me too much. I could easily hurt you"

"Yeah right"

In moments times he was facing her, his face demonic and his teeth showing. "I'm just a monster. Don't open yourself up to me"