Hello my fellow fan fiction people this is my sixth story. I strongly suggest that you read the other five in order before you read this one otherwise you will not get it. The order is Cool Zim, The Stacker that came from the Stars, Zim and Gaz together at last!, Zim's First Love, and Zim's Future. They are all really good so don't worry. I don't own Invader Zim but I do own the newest character in here. Enjoy.
Army Zim
Setting 1 Mrs. Bitters' Classroom
-Mrs. Bitters- Class tomorrow you will all be going to the army camp where you will be tested on fiscal strength, health, and endurances. Everyone must attend. No excuses like not getting your permission slip signed Zim.
-Children- Ha-ha (Dib throws a paper at Zim)
-Zim- What, who, who dares to soil my normal boy head with this filth. (Dib makes a look at Zim) Dib I should of know. (the children continue to laugh)
-Mrs. Bitters- Silence children today's lecture is about how doomed all of you are in the near future. (Mrs. Bitters begins but we don't really hear what she is saying. Zim starts to observe the paper that Dib had throw at him. And it says "You're dead space boy". In anger Zim grabs some of his own paper and writes something and throws it at Dib.)
-Zim on the paper-You don't know of what you speak of foolish human.
-Dib on paper- (Dib throws a paper at Zim) You're the one who's foolish Zim you'll never pass the obstacle course.
-Zim on paper- (Throws another one at Dib) Your primitive earth obstacle courses don't frighten me Dib. I've been to Hobo 13 and I passed with very high and brilliant marks.
-Dib on paper- (throw another at Zim) Even if I knew what that was Zim I bet it's nothing compared to our testing grounds. And what about the fiscal health examination Zim you can't do what you did last time a nurse examined you.
-Mrs. Bitters- (Zim throws another paper at Dib but Mrs. Bitters intercept it she looks at the two of them in anger) Dib, Zim what have I told you two about passing notes?
-Children- Ha-ha
-Mrs. Bitter- (She glares at the students and they stop laughing. She drops the paper on Zim's desk.) Zim read it out load to the class. (he gets up in front of the class holds out the paper in front of him he looks all nervous) Well? (The Skool bell rings and he runs out.)
Setting 2 the cafeteria.
Amethyst is sitting in the cafeteria waiting for Zim. She has this bag lunch in front of her. You see ever since Amethyst came along her and Zim have started eating Irken food in front of everyone but it looks so human that they don't have to worry about it ruining their mission. In fact the idea kind of helps them draw off suspicion even more. Zim arrives with his own bag lunch he looks anger and annoyed he sits next to Amethyst and set his lunch down. Amethyst notices the look on his face.
-Amethyst- Awwa what's the matter big brother of mine who I love so much. (she gives him a little hug)
-Zim- (Pushes her off) Nothing I'm fine.
-Amethyst- Awwa come on you can tell me.
-Zim- It's just the Dib.
-Amethyst- Huh what did he do now don't worry Zim I'll get him. (She start to run off but Zim stops her by grabbing her by the head and turning her around towards him so he can talk to her)
-Zim- Calm down Amethyst, have you been in the Irken licking sticks again?
-Amethyst- (She stands up) A no I can't believe you would even say that. (She lifts her hands up and an Irken licking stick falls out of her pocket. "Oh and an Irken linking stick is that candy that we see Zim with a lot when he is just lodging around like in "Hamstergeddon" episode. " He looks at it and then at her.)
-Zim- Ahmm
-Amethyst- Ha-ha how did that get in there. (She grabs it and hides it back in her pocket and sit back down) So tell me what did the human filth do this time.
-Zim- Nothing the evil stink beast is right though I hate to admit it.
-Amethyst- Ah Zim your talking nonsense snap out of it. (She slaps him)
-Zim- Owa (he rubs his check) Amethyst I'm fine.
-Amethyst- How could you be fine you just said that the enemy was right about something?
-Zim- I meant he's right how will I pass the fiscal examination tomorrow at the filthy human army camp.
-Amethyst- Oh well don't worry you are after all you the brave and powerful Irken Invader Zim there's no way you can loose.
-Zim- Well you're right about that. (a claw comes out of his Pak and gives him this alien transmitter not pad thing.) Hmm maybe there's something in here that can assist me. (He start flipping throw stuff)
-Amethyst- Oh Zim can I see it come on you never let me see anything.
-Zim- Fine here. (he give it too her)
-Amethyst- Thanks (she flips throw and then notice something odd) Hey what does this do? (She pushes it and her eyes go all hypnotized like)
-Zim- You fool you've activated the hypnotism ray. Now I have to correct your mistake. (he pushes a button on the screen. And Amethyst eyes go normal he grabs the thing from her and she falls a sleep on the table.) Well you'll be out for a while. (signs) You see this is why I don't let you…(Suddenly a commercial ordering thing comes on the screen. The announcer looks like the one in the first episode.)
-Announcer- Hello brave Irken invaders are you having trouble keeping your identity a secret?
-Zim- Yes.
-Announcer- Are your plans about to go up in flames just because you don't have the inward appears of your planets creatures.
-Zim- Yes yes (the screen goes a little blurry) What revile your secrets to Zim vile machine.
-Announcer- (the screen comes back) Then you need the new and improved exo-suit garneted to give you the inward fiscal appearance of what ever species you are trying to invade. From the most complex inward appearance of a slorby to the most primitive one of a human. Order now!
-Zim- Yes yes this is it (Stats laughing really load and evil like, people start looking at him. He notice and stops and grabs Amethyst close to him and says) We love earth! (people stop staring and Zim puts Amethyst down and pushes the order button on the screen)
Setting 3 Walking home.
Zim and Amethyst are walking home.
-Amethyst- You mean this all happened while I was out man I miss everything. So do you really think this will work?
-Zim- Of coarse it will work Amethyst do not question the Irken empire.
-Amethyst- O.k. So do you think it's here yet?
-Zim- Oh yeah it's here alright.
-Amethyst- What makes you say that?
-Zim- Call it a hunch (he point to the house where there are those little white package things every were. The two of them walk up to the door and when Zim opens the door some more of those things fall on top of them. They come out of the pile)
-Zim- Gir!
-Gir- (comes out of the pile in the house, in his dog suit, the pile is through out the house.) Yes?
-Zim- What have you be doing in here, where is the exo-suit?
-Gir- What exo-suit?
-Zim- The one that came in the box.
-Gir- Oh I left that out on the lawn.
-Zim- (Sign and hit his head with his hand in aggrivation)
-Amethyst- Don't worry Zim I'll get it. (She comes back with this impossible to put on looking clear exo-suit.)
-Zim- Thank you Amethyst at least I can count on one of my assistants. (He snatches it from her hand and walks more into the house. Amethyst closes the door as Zim sits on the couch he looks at the suit and is very confused) Huh there must be some mistake how do I get this stupid thing on.
-Amethyst- (She has now removed her disguise. And her bow is showing. By the way when ever Amethyst disguise is off her bow is always there.) Don't worry dad I'll get the instruction. (she looks around but all she can see is those stupid package things they're every where.) Hold on let me clean up this filth. (She spends around the room using her super speed and fazing powers, she cleans the place spotless.)
-Gir- (he looks at Amethyst cleaning the stuff and looses it and starts crying.) Why, Why my white things I loved you white things I loved you!!
-Amethyst- (She has now travels through the entire house cleaning. She pops her head out of the kitten holding the book out for all to see) Found it. (She comes back into the room and sets it down to begin reading.) O.k. it says here that the first thing you have to do is put your hand in like this.
30 min later
-Amethyst-(Zim still has his disguise on he is now off the couch. Amethyst has this big ex-ray thing in front of him. We can see that Zim now has all the human organs that we have it looks like one of our ex-rays.) It worked Dad you now have the inward appearance of a filthy human.
-Zim-(He pushes the ex-ray aside) Yes Ha-ha with this exo-suit I will rule the inferior human examination. Ha-ha
-Amethyst- Yeah and it only took us (She looks at her watch) 30 MINUNETS! Dad it took you 30 minuets to put the suit on and that was with me telling you how. How are you ever going to pass the examination? (Zim starts walking back and forth in a thinking mode but he is walking in a weird way. Every step he takes seems to be harder for him.) A dad why are you walking like that?
-Zim- It's this suit it so inferiorly designed that I can't walk strait.
-Amethyst- What are we going to do Dad? (he sits on the couch and thinks. At the moment when Zim is trying to think Gir comes in with his doggy suit on and a little boom box. He places it down on the floor and starts dancing like there's no tomorrow.) Gir stop acting like an idiot can't you see my dad is trying to think go and…
-Zim- Wait I have a plan yes an ingenious plan Ha-ha!
Setting 4 outside of the Skool.
All of the kids are lined up to go. Then Zim comes to the Skool yard you see he had been at little late. Dib looked at Zim from where he was in line and walked up to him.
-Dib- Zim I'm surprised you showed up here today. (Zim starts walking bye Dib not caring what he is saying.) But I guess not even you're a... Hey are you even listening to me? (At this point Zim was already on the bus. Dib looked angery and starts to get on then Amethyst pops out from what seems like no where.)
-Amethyst- By big bro have fun. (she waves all innocent like. Dib looks at her and then begins to talk to himself as he continues to get on the bus.)
-Dib- Hmm these two seem way too confident they're up to something I just know it. (Zim sits bye himself and then Dib sits in the seat in front of Zim and looks at him all accusing like.) Your up to something I just know it and what ever it is I'm going to put a stop to it. What are you up to?
-Zim- You know nothing earth smell. I am not up to any thing and even if I was there is no way I would tell you about it. So be gone with you.
-Dib- I'm watching you Zim.(he turns in his seat)
-Zim- Watch all you want Dib but you'll never stop the amazing Zim. Ha-ha (the bus drives off)
Setting 5 Army camp
All of the children are lined up in army standard. Slab Rangal from "FBI warning of Doom" is the inspector. He walks looking at the kids.
-Slab- Hello maggots you may call me Sergeant Slab Rangel or sir. You come to this camp as the most pathetic waste of flesh I have ever seen but soon (He sees Zim) Huh you!
-Zim- Oh great (he puts his hand on his head in frustration.)
-Slab- Please excuse my insult oh worth opponent.
-Dib- (pocks his head out from where he was standing in line) Wait you two know each other.
-Slab- Of course we do this fine young man bested me in my best sport…
-Zim- Yes yes but we don't need to go into every excruciating detail.
-Slab- You're right. Hey what's your name soldier, I did not get it last time.
-Dib- (he runs to where the two of them were talking you see Dib was like at the front of the line and Zim was like towards the end) His name is Zim and he's an alien.
-Slab-(Looks at Dib angry and then starts laughing.) Now son if there is one thing I will not tolerate it is lying, now get back in ranks.
- Dib- But…
-Slab-Now!
-Dib- O.k.(runs back)
-Slab- Good now let me explain to you your first trail. (They all follow Slab to this big big very big climbing wall) O.k. for your first test you will climb up this wall. The first one up will be the winner. On my mark ready get set go.
-Dib- (Dib start going real fast up) Ha-ha Zim will never make it up here. (Dib starts going up higher and higher he now has swet on him.) Wow this thing is higher then I thought. Oh well at least I know that Zim can't possibly…(He sees Zim already at the top and Dib still has a ways to go.) What Zim how did you?
-Zim- Ha-ha Victory sweet Victory for Zim!
-Slab- Great job Zim you came in first place. Dib you have not even finished keep this up and you'll never pass. Now finish climbing and then get down her and report to the next trail.
-Dib- (Zim start climbing down he ends up right beside Dib who is still trying to finish) I don't know how you did it Zim but you won't be so lucky in the next round.
-Zim- Ha-ha you are covered in lies human Dib. These pathetic excess for challenges don't frighten me. In fact I could complete them in my sleep. If I required sleep that is. So enjoy trying to complete these stupid trials but you will fail miserably. Ha-ha (Zim gets of the rock and start to follow the rest of the class)
Setting 6 reselling ring
All of the kids are lined up again. There is a reselling ring beside them.
-Slab- O.k. maggots your next trial will be to face each other in mortal come bat better known as reselling. Zim, Mathew you're up first. (Mathew is a kid from Skool. He was going to be a candidate for Zim's friendship in "Bestest Friend" but he panics as soon as Zim walks over and runs away. Zim and him get in the arena they each have little boxing gloves on. Zim dose not really do anything really scary he just short of looks at the whole thing in confusion but Mathew takes one look at him and runs off screaming. Zim looks at him run off in even more confusion.) Excellent work Zim you're a solider after my own heart.
-Zim- Victory sweet victory for Zim!
-Dib- But he didn't even do anything.
-Slab- Exactly a true soldier can destroy his opponent without even touching him. O.k. Torque get up here (Torque is one of the bigger kids in the Skool and is frequently seen exercising. He gets up in the ring he has boxing gloves too.) you will be going up against Mr. Chatter box here. (he picks Dib up who also has gloves on and puts him in the ring)
-Torque- So you're telling me I get to beat up Dib without any consequences. Sweet. (comes in for the kill)
-Dib- Wait Torque don't Ah… (He gets beat up real good.)
-Slab- O.k. Torque that's enough. (Torque gets off the now mangled Dib. And leaves the ring.) Dib your are the worst solider I have ever seen get up you pathetic excuses for a soldiers. (Dib gets up and starts to leave the ring.) You know you should really learn form Zim's displays of pure genius.
-Dib- Learn from Zim, I would never learn from him even if my life depended on it, you have to be joking.
-Slab- There is no joking when it comes to war Dib. Now report to the last trail.
Setting 7 The obstacle course
The kids are lined up again
-Slab- O.k. maggots it is now time for your last trail the obstacle course (points to this very long obstacle course when I say long it's not that long there is just a lot of space between the three obstacles) allow me to explain the track. First you must pole-vault across this monde. Then run throw the tires in perfect accuracy. Finally run through the hot spring water pit and to the finish line. Zim and Dib you're up first. (they line up) On my mark get set go!
-Dib- (at first Zim does not know exactly how to us the pole-vault so he slacks behind. But then after seeing how Dib does it he ketches up. They starts running threw the tires.) You'll never beat me Zim you might as well give up.
-Zim- Never! (They run through the tires. They're neck and neck. Then they see the water)
-Dib- Ha-ha what are you going to do now space freak? (Zim does not decrease his speed like Dib thinks he will slow down because we all know what happens to Zim when he touches water, but instead Zim only increase his speed and runs right through the water and nothing happens to his skin.) Huh? Ah…(The shock form the event makes Dib trip and fall in the water. The water is very hot that is why he screamed plus the fact that the trip hurt a little. Zim wins the race. The water had no effect on him because he was wearing super paste just in case something like this were to happen. You see if he had been wearing regular paste the hot water might of had a little effect on him. Not as big as it would of if he had not been wearing any paste at all but still an affect. But Zim was prepared.)
-Zim- Victory sweet victory for Zim. You lose pathetic excuse for an adversary human stink creature Dib. Ha-ha (Dib walks passed Zim as angry and as wet as can be and stands beside him to be judge by Slab.)
-Slab- Excellent work Zim so far you are winning and as for you Dib in all my years as an officer I have never met someone so stupid as to fall into the water. You'll never reach your peek of perfection at this rate. Now you two get back in ranks while I finish with the rest of these maggots.
Setting 8 the final test.
The children are all lined up again.
-Slab- O.k. children when you first arrived here you were a pathetic waste of flesh but throw my training, with the exception of some, (looks at Dib) you have all become good soldiers and I am prod to of been your teacher but your test is not over yet. It is now time for your final trial. Each one of you will follow me to the hospital wing where our nurse will test your organs and everything else for perfection. Zim you're up first.
-Zim- A shouldn't the other filthy inferior stink creatures go first before the great and powerful Zim goes?
-Dib- Come on Zim I thought someone of your skills would love to go first.
-Slab- He's right Zim lets go.
-Zim- A one minute (he turns and his communicator comes out of his Pak) Amethyst unleash the plan.
-Amethyst- Yes sir. (she runs to the camp using her super speed. When she shows up she has this delivery man disguise on. She has her green skin still showing and she is wearing the contact leans. She has this hole tan delivery outfit with a hat and a fake curled mush stash on. She has a big red rapped up box in her hands.) Package I have a package here for a mister Slab Rangel. (everyone turns to look at her and Zim runs off.)
-Slab- Oh that's me. Who's it from?
-Amethyst- From a secret admirer. Enjoy (she puts the box down) and bye (she runs off after Zim)
-Slab-Oh I wonder what it could be. (Opens the package and out pops Gir in his doggy suit. He has the bomb box in his hand. He jumps out of the box turns on the music and stars dancing) It's a dancing puppy Awwa…how cute.
-Dib- Sir that's Zim robot dog thingy he's using it to destract you.
-Slab- Quit talking nonsense Dib. Zim is being a good boy and watching the show so why can't you.
-Dib- That's not Zim that's a cardboard cut out.
-Slab- Nonsense now pip down and watch.
-Dib- You're not going to get away with this Zim. I will find you, and stop your diabolical plans what ever they are. (Dib runs off)
30 min later.
-Slab- (Dib comes back exhausted he has looked every where for Zim but has not found him) Awa my puppy is so cute.
-Amethyst- (She appears and snatches Gir and the bomb box back in the box) A sorry I made a mistake this package was not for you after all. Sorry about that bye! (she leaves in a rush)
-Slab- Nooo my puppy.
-Dib- Sir?
-Slab- Yes well Zim come on.
-Dib- Sir I already told you that's not Zim look (he pinches Zim)
-Zim- Owa Dib how dare you defile my normal boy hand with your vile hand.
-Dib- But he was.
-Slab- Now Dib don't take your anger out on Zim just because you can't pass the trials. Come on Zim lets go.
-Zim- Yes sir.( He salutes and follows Slab very poorly but he makes it into the hospital. Dib bets that the reason for Zim's slow behavior is because he is nervous. In his head Dib images Zim coming out of the hospital wing with hand cuffs and not wearing his disguise. He expects army people to be dragging him out in chains even. But when Zim does come out he just comes out normally. Zim has already removed the suit in the bathroom after the examination so he does not walk weird. The suit is safe in his Pak. You see the ironic thing about the suit is it is impossible to get on with out the instructions but if you want to remove it all you have to do is press the remote that came with it and it comes off in a jiffy. Weird huh.)
-Dib- What the how did you?
-Slab- Good work Zim. In all my years I have never seen a more healthy little boy. You may wait for your fellow students in the bus. Dib you're up next come on.
-Dib- I don't know how you did it Zim but you won't be so lucky next time.
-Slab- Dib I said come and I meant it. So get your but over here now! (Dib walks in to the hospital wing.)
-Dib- Ow why does it hurt so bad. Zim never made cries of pain like this. What's going on? Ow
-Slab- Come on Dib take it like a man.
-Zim- Ha-ha.
Then End
Well that's it. Oh and by the way the reason why Zim did not make a sound is because when they were testing him they were testing the suit so he did not feel a thing. But Dib was expose to it with bare flesh so it hurt. I like to see Dib get hurt because I hate him I actually prefer Zim. So to all you Dib fans out there you are all fools. Be on the look out for Zim's Worst Nightmare coming soon to a computer near you it is even funnier then this one. And until then send me plenty of reviews and ZIM WILL LIVE FOREVER!!