Beca lives for the part of summer when the Beales leave for their annual holiday. She has no idea where or why they go, but like clockwork - from the morning of July 18 until August 1, she's free to get out onto her roof. And honestly, she shouldn't have to suffer most of the year for it, but it's too awkward, going out her window just to sit with her laptop and eventually do it enough times to seem like a stalker to Chloe.
As much as she tries to, her gaze wanders away from her mind far too often, and she ends up catching glimpses of her even without being on the rooftop. It's distracting, really; and a bother. But then she gets thirteen days clear of Chloe, along with the late night phone calls which always end up being overheard as their windows are open. Beca thinks Chloe's not aware of it, so she never says anything.
Not that there's anything to say, in any case, since they rarely talk. (Rarely translates into the few occasions when Chloe bumps into her and Stacie and says a polite hello before chatting with the
other girl. It's not rude, it's just that they don't really know each other.)
This year, she's leaning against her window frame with her laptop on her lap and a large glass of milkshake next to her - it's somewhat of a good life, if she dares say so herself. It's been quite a year between her dad requesting from her to go to college because she can go for free, and her mom insisting it's a great chance to rekindle her relationship with her father; she's stuck having to leave her hometown in a couple of months, and she can't say anything about it.
So she buries herself in music like it's her job and forgets all about it. There's some new songs she's finally figured out how to put into a few mixes and it's like the rooftop brings out all the inspiration in her. It's hours before she hears her mother calling her down for dinner, and even then she doesn't want to stop.
And she just doesn't. Beca yells through the slightly cracked open window that she's not hungry and just then notices that it's dark outside. Hours pass by quickly when she's got headphones on and good music filling her eardrums, the bass far too loud for it to be healthy.
She turns the volume up a little, and doesn't even notice how long past midnight it is. At least she's finished two mixes that are eerily similar. When she saves them and shuts down her laptop, a shriek escapes past her lips that she can't exactly stop in time. It sounds ridiculous, and elicits a laugh from the person that prompts it.
"You have a really lovely voice," Chloe tells her, a nod following just to confirm the words as she settles on her roof.
Beca didn't even notice herself singing along to the songs she was working with. She has to believe Chloe, though, there's no reason the girl would lie. "You're still here," she notes. Thank yous are overrated, apparently, or she just moves past the compliment as if it isn't still up in the air and in the way Chloe looks at her.
The look turns to quizzical when she hears the statement, though. "Still?" The question is more amused than curious, but Beca sees neither of those. She only hears the judgement that surely has to be there. (Chloe's not the type to ever judge, but Beca doesn't know Chloe.)
"I mean, uh, you go on... vacation," she mutters. Maybe she should've paid more attention to how regular people talk, without the high pitch that laces her voice and the sudden pauses between words.
"I opted out this year, I can only miss so many birthdays of Aubrey's in my life," Chloe provides the information while she gets more comfortable, bending her legs at the knee and wrapping her arms around them. "It's the summer before college, I can't exactly miss it by going to Georgia."
It seems logical enough when Chloe says it, so Beca nods. "Right," she says. "Seems legit," escapes; if she could retract words spoken, those two would be the first she'd erase.
And then she hears a giggle - it's at that moment she notices she hasn't really been looking at Chloe. Chloe, who's sitting across from her with the biggest grin anyone could muster on her face and eyes sparkling. Beca, for her part, is sure that the sparkle is actually alcohol's doing. She has no idea what time it is, but she figures a party has to have happened. What else do teenagers do when they're home alone?
Teenagers who are not Beca, at least; she's never been one for parties herself.
"So how come you never sang out here before?" Chloe's... persistent when all Beca wants to do is crawl up in her bed and forget about the embarrassment she's enduring. She's really never sung in
front of people who aren't family.
It's a new territory she didn't even know she was entering.
She shrugs. It's only to tide her over until she's sure she can't mess up what she wants to say. "It'd be weird to come out here every day and just sing," she says, and it crosses her mind that maybe shrugging is her defense mechanism when she doesn't really know if what she's saying makes sense.
It mostly doesn't, but that's because Chloe's looking at her with excitement in her eyes and the biggest grin on her lips she's ever seen on anyone, let alone her neighbor.
"I don't know, I wouldn't mind listening to it when you actually mean for it to be heard by someone."
Chloe's definitely drunk - that's the only reason Beca has for the wink that comes afterwards. No wink should ever carry that much meaning in it, but then maybe she's just imagining it.
Beca regrets ending the night with exchanging phone numbers.
(She doesn't, really, she just has to tell herself that because Chloe turns out to be a compulsive texter.)
Chloe Beale: Partying?
Beca the Neighbor: Sleeping.
Beca the Neighbor: Or at least I was.
Chloe Beale: Sorry! :|
Chloe Beale: Can't really see your bed through the window.
Chloe Beale: Besides, you really SHOULD party ;)
Beca the Neighbor: Are you calling me boring?
Chloe Beale: I would NEVER! :O
Chloe Beale: Just maybe uptight.
Chloe Beale: (*~,~)
Beca the Neighbor: I don't even know what that means!
Chloe Beale: It means you haven't texted in a while and I don't know what to say. Chloe Beale: In not so many characters.
Beca the Neighbor: Noted. I'm dying at college, my fingers hurt.
Beca the Neighbor: Literally. My fingers hurt.
Chloe Beale: Should I call?
Beca doesn't even get to respond when Titanium plays from her phone. She doesn't even know why that song is the ringtone, but she's heard Chloe playing it a few times, and deemed it appropriate enough.
"Too much sex?" She hears when she hits the respond button and puts the phone on speaker. She's lying on her bed, and lets the phone rest next to her head as she rolls her eyes.
"I'm taking notes, asshole," she doesn't even ask why fingers would have such a prominent role in sex with a guy, because guys don't even cross her mind when she's talking to Chloe. "I'm considering becoming ambidextrous just to release my left hand from so much pain."
She hears a laugh on the other line, and it's really been too long since she's heard that. She blames it on this being their first actual phone call. "Can't fault me making you out to be more fun in my head," Chloe jokes. "So college's not treating your hands well, huh?"
"College sucks," Beca agrees. She's actually only been to classes that interest her enough to get out of bed, but it's still a pain having to get up early when she's supposed to be in Los Angeles and not in college. "How's Barden? Still in that singing group?"
"I know you know the name is the Bellas," Chloe deadpans, and Beca assumes she's shaking her head and rolling her eyes at the she says it. "Barden's still the best place I've been to, classes and all. And if you ever want me to prove that the Bellas are actually cool, I have audio proof on hand at any time."
Beca says nothing about attending the Finals to Chloe later that year, but she does, at the very least, admit to herself that maybe acapella is kind of nice. Still, she doesn't blame the judges for not giving the Bellas first place, their setlist is kind of atrocious.
It takes a lot of effort not to mention she's seen Chloe perform, but she ends up succeeding. It's creepy enough just flying out to watch a (kind of) friend sing and dance, although she knows Chloe would just find it adorable - or worse, endearing.
The first day of summer isn't greeted by her and Chloe out on their roofs because Chloe's coming a day late. The second, though, has them sitting across from each other, exchanging stories about their first year of college. Chloe's boyfriend, Beca notes, makes quite a few of the stories shared.
She's not sure why it's frustrating, but she writes it off to wanting to hear stories about Chloe, not Chloe and her boyfriend. "So Tim's treating you well?" Beca questions, just to check. If she's hearing about him, she can at least choose to be concerned for Chloe's wellbeing.
"Tom is great. He's the sweetest guy, he's a swimmer. Apparently, Barden has a great program for swimmers," Chloe explains. It pisses Beca off that this guy brings such a big smile onto Chloe's face, but then she can't really fault him for making her happy.
They're trying this thing, staying together over the summer, because they're convinced long distance can work. Tom, for his part, seems like he's Chloe in a guy's body, as far as relationships are concerned. Which Beca definitely thinks is good, but he just doesn't click.
As if he needs to click with her; it's hard enough for people who know her to do that, much less someone she's never met. She's programmed to instantly dislike new people in her life, even if they're in it indirectly.
"Swimming, huh, so broad shoulders?" Beca really wants to let go of the topic, but then Chloe chuckles and really, who is she to stop talking about something that makes Chloe laugh? "Hey, I don't have pictures, I'm picturing a more attractive Ryan Lochte here,"
Chloe pauses her laughing to ask, "Is that the only swimmer you know?"
"I'm not really into watching other people swim," Beca defends herself quickly. "It's pointless, I'd rather go to the pool myself," she adds. She really shouldn't expect Chloe to let that statement go, but she hopes. At least until Chloe's face lights up even further and she can't even hold onto the little sliver she had until that point.
"We have to go to the pool," she exclaims with enthusiasm, too much for that time of the night. "It'd be like a celebration of sorts, we finished our first year of college, it's a big occasion," Chloe's always been the one for celebrations - Beca knows from just how many parties Chloe attends. The truth is, if it doesn't turn into a party, Beca thinks she can go anywhere with Chloe.
(Parties come later in the summer, and Beca is surprised to realize she doesn't hate them. Chloe and Stacie do tend to hand her a vodka as soon as they enter, though, that might have something to do with it.
She nods. "I wouldn't be opposed, I'd only complain about it a little," she teases, unsure if it'd actually come true. Beca's not one to complain a little, it's all go hard or go home with her. Maybe with Chloe, it can be different.
There's still no explanation for how fast her walls fell when Chloe and her started talking, and she tries to build them up again but to no avail. Every time she tries, a new text from Chloe comes, or her phone starts ringing and the thought is always out before it can even be followed.
"So," Chloe starts, nudging Beca's leg with her foot. They're always on their own respective roofs, but Chloe's legs always somehow reach Beca's and neither of them takes not of how it happens. "Are you going to be staying in college or are you going off to LA and leaving me here alone?" There's a change in her tone that Beca actually picks up on, for once.
"We spend most of the year away from each other, anyway, Chloe," Beca replies, and thinks she sees a trace of a scowl on Chloe's features for a second before it's wiped away. "But I'm staying. I mean, some of the stuff is actually useful."
There can't have been a scowl, not even for a second. It'd have been too big a change to slip into the grin Chloe has on her face now, Beca reasons. "Were you sad I might be moving across country?" She asks just for good measure, a joking tone laced through the words.
"Yeah," Chloe responds too easily, it's like Beca has no other choice but to stay on that side of the country now. At least while she goes to college, because putting dreams off isn't completely forgetting them. Her classes truly are nice for her future career, she's not giving anything up yet.
She's not stupid enough to give it up for a girl. For a friend. Just a friend.
Beca wonders, for only a second, why she adds the 'just' in her mind every time she thinks of Chloe. It's a habit now, she really can't wander into the possibility of it being something more. Chloe's just really touchy with everyone else, and clingy. Just because she isn't the same way with other as she is with Chloe doesn't mean she gets to read too into it.
They're friends.
Just friends.
"I mean, who else would make mixes of my favorite songs even if it takes a week to match them?" Chloe switches to her regular voice, the chipper, excited tone that always makes Beca shake out of her thoughts, as if it's more important somehow.
She nods. "It's like a challenge for me, and you gave me two of the most different songs in the world," Beca says, as if it's the most logical explanation. "Never back down from a challenge, Beale."
"That's what I said my senior year once, and ended up in the hospital with two broken ribs," Chloe offers in reply. "At least I won't give you anything close to jumping off a roof into a pool when you're drunk, promise. I'll stick to songs."
Beca doesn't ask. She never does. She just enjoys the stories, and cringes at some of the nasty ones. Chloe's a natural at telling stories, it's hard not to listen to her when she talks. Beca's always heard tales about her around school, but it's not until Chloe started telling her them that they became interesting.
Perhaps it's because their conversations are much quieter than Stacie's group of friends at lunch, or because it's almost always past midnight when Chloe shares something. Either way, Beca can't object to more stories as they come, one after another, and Chloe never runs out of things to say.
They're a good match - Chloe talks and Beca listens until the tables turn, and Beca ends up retelling the time she was seven and her dad left her alone in the car for a few minutes only to have her start up the car.
Her legs were far too short to reach the pedals, she swears.
Chloe's bathing suit is the worst thing Beca's ever seen, it's easily the biggest guy magnet there is. Her best friend is Stacie and she's never seen a piece of clothing that revealing. That's saying something.
Somehow, it brings out a side in her she's never known she had - a protective one.
(Or whatever telling a guy to, "piss off and get off my girlfriend or I'll have to test how long you can stay underwater," is. Chloe finds it cute, and thanks her with a kiss to her cheek.)
First day of sophomore year brings back the talk of Tom. Pictures even.
Beca :): You sure are happy to be back there.
Beca :): Tim, too.
Chloe: It's Tom. And I am. We just had a Bellas practice and Tom's taking me out :))
Beca :): The letters are really close.
Beca :): Taking you out or to his bedroom?
Chloe: BECA!
Chloe: He's a gentleman, he buys me dinner first.
Beca :): He needs to ensure you have the stamina for it, then.
It's jealousy, but she doesn't call it that in her head. Concern is what she files it under, as if she's ever concerned with Stacie's encounters. That's one thing she should actually be worried about, but she chooses Chloe and maxes out on concern a little too early.
She calls Chloe one day after she's done with classes for the day. It's not planned, nor scheduled as it usually is, and she doesn't expect Chloe to answer. She wants to leave a message for her, because she just needs to vent.
But then as soon as she dials the number, she's greeted by a man's voice on the other side and is utterly confused. "Chloe's phone," he says, albeit a little too eagerly.
"And hence why I called, I wasn't up for talking to a stranger," Beca's a little too hostile, but she blames classes for that and pays it no mind at all. "Where's Chloe?"
"She's asleep, wait," he tells her, and Beca is absolutely sure that it's Tom who's answered her. She doesn't acknowledge it. "I'll wake her."
He probably angles the phone away from himself enough not to hear her practically yelling, "Don't you dare," in the background. She's never woken Chloe up before, but if the girl is anything like her, she won't like it. Maybe her saving grace is that she's not the one directly waking her up.
She forgets all about it, because Chloe's groggy voice is distracting enough. "Becs? Is everything alright?" She actually sounds concerned, which adds to the guilt Beca feels for Tom waking her up.
"For the record, I told Tim not to wake you," Beca defends herself. "I know Bellas rehearsals are harsh, I just wanted to leave a message since we don't have a call planned."
All of it sounds too stupid. Who even schedules phone calls? Chloe swears by it, it's the only way they'll keep in touch and she can check up on Beca. Although Skype calls are more frequent because Chloe insists she needs to see Beca to make sure she's not losing it.
"It's fine," Chloe says, and Beca can hear the soft smile in the tone. "You can call anytime, you know that. What did you want to tell me?"
And Beca doesn't have the heart to remind Chloe that today was her first day at the radio internship she got. She's pretty sure Chloe would feel guilty, so she just says, "Oh, classes were just tough today, I was going to complain."
There's a pause on the other side, and she's just about to add to it, but Chloe beats her to it. "We'll Skype tomorrow, we're both free in the morning."
Of course Chloe knows her schedule. Or at least has it written somewhere, but still.
The finals in sophomore year are great, but the Bellas still don't win. The setlist is the same, it's kind of ridiculous. Beca's not worried about them, because Chloe isn't, either. She catches a glimpse of the guy from the picture she got at the beginning of the year, and then he comes to sit
next to her.
He recognizes her, and it's funny because she didn't even know Chloe showed him a picture of her. The show ends and he wants her to go backstage with him, but she declines far too quickly.
"Chloe doesn't really know I'm here, Tim," she shrugs. "And I have a flight to catch."
Her flight's in three days, but that doesn't stop her from flat out lying to him. She might not be able to lie to Chloe, but he's not her.
Tom doesn't tell Chloe about her visit, Beca finds out as soon as she's greeted with a cheerful smile and not a slap on the side of her arm. She's kind of grateful, honestly.
"Trebles kind of messed up a part of their songs, but they still won," Chloe announces, over the tone of ... Beca doesn't expect it, but she nods along until she catches herself doing so; she stops immediately. "I admit, our songs are a bit outdated, but they still messed up."
Beca's hand moves to pause the show, so she can move the laptop away. An episode of it can wait until Chloe's done venting. It's a drill she's learned by now, everything stops when Chloe needs to talk, because it's the same when she needs it. It's an unspoken agreement of sorts that she follows without question
"I think Bumper's paying the judges," Chloe nods, her look determined. Beca has no heart to tell her that the Trebles were the best out of all the choices, even with the slight mix up with lyrics they made.
So she just agrees. "I wouldn't be surprised, judging by the stories you've told me," she says. It's the only thing she can say before she starts running her mouth. "But hey, you said your boyfriend made it out, that had to be nice."
Beca kind of hates herself sometimes, because changing the topic has never been her strongest suit.
"I don't want to talk about Tom right now," Chloe says, and Beca follows it with a relieved sigh that thankfully doesn't get noticed. "Aubrey got a solo for next year."
It sucks. Even Beca knows that. She's somewhat grateful that she's the one that hears about this, although she's not exactly sure how rude that makes her. She enjoys hearing Chloe complain -how weird is that? It has everything to do with how Chloe gets closer to her every time this happens, and it's not often.
Their legs are intertwined, Chloe's head on her shoulder and a hand on her lap. "I'm happy for her," Chloe nods, and Beca doesn't doubt the sincerity of it. "I just thought I would have a part at least," she admits. It's the sigh at the end that makes Beca tilt her head slightly to lean against Chloe's.
Chloe ends up somehow winding the fingers of their hand without Beca noticing until she starts replying. "You deserve it, Chlo," she states somberly. She's only heard Chloe sing on a few occasions when it wasn't harmonizing with nine other girls. "At least you know you'll be co-captains next year, right? You'll get your spotlight then."
"I guess," Chloe mutters under her breath. It's not the best thing to say at that moment, Beca knows it as soon as she hears the reply. She opts not to say anything, and it's the right call, because Chloe goes, "I don't think I want to talk about it anymore."
Beca should already be fetching the laptop from the desk in her bedroom, right under the window, but she doesn't want to disturb their position. She wants to call it cuddling, but that might be too sappy. At least until Chloe forces them to lie down and curls up to her - it's just stating facts then. She's never been one for much contact, but it doesn't bother her.
Until, "Do you know how irresponsible this is?!" comes from Chloe's open window and Beca's wide awake with Aubrey in her line of vision. It's not something she ever wants to be repeated. But she and Chloe fell asleep somewhere in-between the silence and the slight rubbing of Chloe's thumb against the back of her hand.
They're still twined together, legs refusing to move during sleep and the one of Chloe's hands that isn't holding Beca's straight over her waist. They're not given enough time to rouse from sleep properly before Aubrey continues. "What if you'd moved in sleep and fallen down to the ground?" She questions, hands on her hips.
"Jeez, can your voice be higher?" Beca asks, groaning as Chloe lifts her head up from her shoulder to venture a glance at Aubrey. "We didn't fall, and we didn't exactly plan to sleep out here."
Chloe pouts when she looks at her, and maybe she wanted to mess with Aubrey somehow, but Beca's not sure she would've loved more of Aubrey's nagging if she'd gone with that. Not early in the morning, anyway.
And yes, she knows it's early because Chloe's mentioned something about going to the mall at ten in the morning, which means Aubrey is at least a half an hour early to pick Chloe up.
"I forgot to set my alarm," Chloe notes. "I guess impromptu kind-of-sleepovers make a girl forget a few things here and there."
Beca nods. It's true enough.
"We'll pick you up for pool at noon, yeah?" Chloe checks, and suddenly Beca has plans for the day she hasn't really wanted. She guesses Stacie will be there, and she does need to meet with her at one point so it's like two birds with one stone. The first bird is, of course, spending more time with Chloe.
So she hums her agreement. It's all she can muster when Chloe leans in and plants a kiss on her cheek that's dangerously close to the corner of her lips. If she'd turned accidentally... she doesn't go further than that.
"We're also going to Aubrey's beach house a bit later in the year, and she's actually letting me invite you this time, so don't make too many plans," Chloe informs her while getting up and moving towards her window. "See you later, Becs," she doesn't even spare Beca a glance to see her nod.
Too many plans. As if she'll be doing anything important enough not to go to the beach house.
Beca's pretty sure she hears Aubrey ask something similar to, "Need I remind you that you have a boyfriend?" while Chloe's closing her window. The smile that receives concerns her mother, but she's not worried.
Chlo: I AM INSULTED.
Chlo: HOW DARE YOU?
Becs :): I just don't like peanut butter...
Chlo: YOU ARE UNFRIENDED.
Becs :): Did you seriously just unfriend me on Facebook?
Becs :): Chloe.
Becs :): Chlo.
Becs :): You can't keep this up forever.
Beca calls quite a few times before Tom picks up finally. She doesn't call him, obviously, but she calls Chloe until he's finally the only one awake. It might or might not be four in the morning and she knows he's a lighter sleeper.
"Is it an emergency?" He asks, dazed from sleep. "She says she's only open to emergencies and that you'd know what emergencies means because you discussed it at length or something," Tom's really prone to explaining things fully when he gets started, Beca learns.
"Wake her up and don't tell her it's me," is the only answer he gets before she hears shuffling and him waking Chloe up. She knows Chloe's been bothering him with this problem, he doesn't want it to go on no more than she does.
Before Chloe can even murmur a soft greeting, Beca spits, "I'm sorry," out. "It's not the peanut butter, it's just that I had a chipped tooth when I was a kid and it kept falling in, which was a pain to get out - so I kind of grew into resenting it."
She says it all in one breath and Chloe doesn't interrupt her. And then after, she doesn't hang up on her. "I understand," she says. "You're forgiven. But only because you seem precious as a kid from the stories. Just like you are now, calling in the middle of the night and forcing Tom not to tell me who it is."
"I'm not-"
"You so are," Chloe leaves her no space to argue it, so she just accepts it readily. It's a lot of compromises with her and Chloe, and she doesn't mind any of them so far.
"So can you accept me on Facebook again?" Beca asks, a hopeful tone of voice as she finally settles down on her bed.
Chloe's face is the first thing she sees when her eyes flutter closed. "As soon as I wake up. G'night, Becs."
"Sleep well."
Who would've thought peanut butter would have her awake until the middle of the night, she knows there was a good reason to hate it all her life. It's not that her story isn't true, it's just that the taste really isn't all that great, either, but she kept that part out for the sake of friendship.
Just friendship.
Chloe's never going to know it, anyway, it's not a big deal. Beca falling asleep with Chloe on her mind isn't really the strangest occurrence in her life, so she doesn't question it. Instead, she lets a smile slip onto her lips before turning on her side and finally being able to drift off.
Chlo: You should come to Finals this year!
Becs :): In New York?
Chlo: Yep! It'll be worth it, I swear. We have a great team this year.
Becs :): I'm sure. I'll see if I can.
Chlo: Promise?
Becs :): Definitely.
Beca's actually really relieved that Chloe knows she's there that year. And in the tenth row, at that. Rows one to five got a special surprise from Aubrey's nervous breakdown. She's on her feet before Tom, and proud of it.
Except she has no idea where she has to go to get backstage, so he takes over and she lets him grudgingly. That doesn't mean he gets the first word, "Chlo!"
And she gets the first hug. The only hug. "Aubrey ran out," she mutters, and Beca knows they'll have to follow.
They end up in a motel that night, and the fact that she's the one who shares a bed with Chloe because she's smaller than Tom and the bed cannot hold both Chloe and Tom in it - well, she considers that a win of some sort.
If she's had to spend her night comforting Aubrey, she might as well get to have Chloe's hands wrapped around her during the night.
Apparently, that turns out to be a problem, and she doesn't even find it out from Chloe. The three head back to Georgia and Beca makes her way back to Miami. Two days later, she kind of wants to fly out to Atlanta, but Aubrey's texts convince her she has it under control.
Because Tom breaks up with Chloe a day after they're back in Atlanta. Aubrey informs her just because she knows Chloe doesn't want to, and she feels like she owes her something. They're even now, she says, and Beca's not one to say Aubrey's never owed her anything - her shirt was basically ruined by her tears.
Chloe never mentions anything, so Beca knows her plan of action when she's set to come back home. Chloe's waiting on the roof when she climbs out at midnight, equipped with some vodka and juice and two solo cups. They don't drink together, because really the parties they go to are scarce, few and far between because Beca insists she's not one to party regularly.
Still, she knows when it's the right occasion for a drink or two.
Or a bottle.
"Here, hold this," she gives the cups to Chloe, who readily accepts them. Just to make it quicker, Beca decides to open both bottles. It's a stupid idea, in hindsight, because some of the juice ends up on Chloe's leg. "At least it's not vodka," Beca shrugs it off.
"Why are we drinking?"
"Because my various Google searches revealed it's the best way to unwind after a breakup and I'm about a month late to it, but whatever."
It's safe to say it doesn't end as those searches suggested it would, because Chloe claims she's talked it out with Aubrey. (Beca's comments of never liking Tim, anyway, make her smile slightly, so she leaves it at that.) And then Chloe focuses on the future. She claims it's time they start thinking about it.
And there's the catch: they're just friends.
It's been a routine of Beca's to leave friends behind after every chapter of her life - with the exception of Stacie, which is more her mother's doing than hers - and she doesn't think they should discuss this together.
Just because she's been to one too many family dinners with the Beales doesn't mean she'll continue the tradition of summer Sundays. Because frankly, she's leaving for Los Angeles as soon as she can after her senior year. "I know my future," Beca replies swiftly.
"Oh yeah? Seen it in beans, huh, prophet?"
"You're awfully sarcastic for someone who once believed a 'psychic' when the woman read your hand," Beca retorts, shaking her head. "I'm going to Los Angeles."
She's going, that's it. That's really all there is to it, no more discussion. Chloe's known that for years, Beca doesn't think she has to explain anything. "And what, you're done?" There's no usual cheerful notes in Chloe's voice when she poses the question. "Is that what you're saying?"
Alcohol was a bad idea.
Because, "Yeah," comes after no filter makes the truth less hurtful. It's not on her to make plans with Chloe about that, that's definitely the lifelong best friend duty, and that means Aubrey.
"Goodbye Saint Cloud, hello Los Angeles. Goodbye Chloe, hello celebrities," Chloe says, rather upset. Beca wishes she was the same old Chloe as before when she drinks, but it doesn't happen. Because Beca pisses her off. "Do you plan to delete my number as soon as the summer's over?"
"What? No!" Beca's not sure she's being completely honest about it. Deleting numbers is the number one thing you're supposed to do to truly get over someone, right? It's not like it would work, she knows Chloe's by heart. "I'm just moving across country, I'm not forgetting you."
She thinks she sees a trace of the scowl on Chloe's face wiped away. "So what then?"
Beca shrugs. It's as much of an answer as she can give. "Where are you going after college?" She asks, splitting the remainder of vodka between their cups and moving onto Chloe's roof to sit next to her. "What's the plan?"
"I don't know. I want to teach, it's not something that'll get me out of the state necessarily."
There's a second of silence, and then Beca curses her inability to sustain her words for at least a few moments to reconsider. "But that doesn't mean you can't go anywhere. You can start teaching in whatever state."
It's not even subtle, the way she looks at Chloe, but then vodka has always had that effect on her.
They drop the topic and the night in Chloe's room, because Beca has no balance to walk across the roof once again and Chloe has a big bed. Of course, size doesn't matter, because they end up curled up to each other and never move from the far end of the bed.
Most of what they do becomes a routine over time, which is why Beca spends every night until September in Chloe's bed, even without the problem of balance when drunk.
On the night before she's supposed to leave for Miami, they go to bed earlier than on any other. There's an end-of-the-summer bash, but they both decline Stacie's invite in favor of spending the night together. Neither of them suspects they'll close the rest of the distance there is between them.
Yet they do. Chloe's lips are on Beca's because she doesn't accept that maybe it's her who makes the first move, but she stops thinking about who's on whom the second Chloe pins her down to the bed. Honestly, sex has not been the priority for her in any of the flings she's had throughout college, but this isn't a fling. This is two (just) friends, saying goodbye.
Chloe says it loudly, in various volumes that all make Beca go mad. Beca exclaims it through moans and grunts until Chloe's name rolls off her tongue and they fall onto their backs equally satisfied.
They end the night on only one note. "We would've been good together."
Never to be spoken of again.
And then that's not goodbye.
Chlo: The Bellas are over :( /3
Becs 3: What? How?
Chlo: No one wants to join. I mean, there's some girls... Chlo: Not up to Aubrey's standards.
Becs 3: Fuck Aubrey.
She thinks on the last one, because her fingers type out 'me' instead of 'Aubrey' at first.
Chlo: You never told me Stacie knows how to sing! Chlo: Auditions are somewhat okay.
Becs 3: Yeah?
Chlo: Apparently, some girls who weren't allowed in the first year are coming again. Chlo: It's really great, their voices are aca-awesome.
Becs 3: Was practice that bad?
Chlo: What?
Becs 3: You didn't text after.
Chlo: Oh. It wasn't... par exellance.
Becs 3: You'll get it right.
They can't make it right. Instead, Chloe makes Beca come around and help them. She doesn't ask, really, but Beca can hear the pleading voice she uses, so she sacrifices a week of her classes to see Chloe and aid her in this situation they're in.
The Bellas are a rowdy group, but she can do something with it. Aubrey takes too much convincing to actually do it, but once she's actually on board, they can work on the number for Finals.
(Chloe reminds Aubrey they didn't even qualify the first time, before they kicked the other group out. That's what gets her to cooperate.)
She works during their practices, her laptop on the piano as she watches everyone try to get some moves. Chloe can't exactly work on the choreography without music, so she stands around the piano herself and listens to each thing that qualifies as progress to Beca.
Fat Amy calls her 'honorary' (which Beca guesses is better than 'dingo' she got at first, because she's "snarky and just the right height") and they all agree Beca deserves a scarf at the end of the week.
She leaves them, and only Skypes once they've practiced everything. Aubrey actually thanks her. It's surprising enough for her jaw to drop.
Aubrey owes her one again, so she reserves them all seats which aren't in rows one to five at Beca's insistence.
Row seven seems too far away when Chloe beckons her to the stage once they win the trophy. Being an honorary Bella really isn't that bad, even if Fat Amy keeps messaging her about future business possibilities they can eventually start up together.
She claims Beca's the perfect partner she could have, be it for alligator hunting or gold mining.
The end of the night is the biggest mistake she makes, right above sharing a room in the hotel with Chloe. They don't talk about that night, either.
They don't get their fourth summer because Beca has to leave for Los Angeles before Chloe can even come back to St. Cloud. For a year, all they do is phone calls and texting, and occasional Skype calls.
It's hard, Beca's busy and Chloe's looking for a job while working as a waitress just to earn something.
Chloe doesn't give up easily, which is normally why they even talk somedays, because Beca's not one for remembering to keep up with anyone. At least not until Chloe finds job offers in Seattle and decides to move in with Aubrey; they're on the same coast, it's easier.
It takes a good two months from then for Chloe to actually get a job at one of the schools in the district, but Beca can finally stop feeling guilty for earning a living and having more than enough to spare while Chloe has next to nothing.
Their communication falters as months pass by, but not a day passes when Beca doesn't think about Chloe at least once, right before her eyes flutter closed and she falls asleep.
Calls turn to texts, and then it's a week in between replies on Facebook - it's unacceptable.
Her boss opens up a studio in Seattle.
Two months later, she asks to move.
"I need a favor," Beca doesn't even greet Aubrey when the line's picked up. It's how their relationship works, going from a favor to favor whenever one of them needs it.
"Well, hello to you, too," Aubrey greets, the clarity of sarcasm ephasized by the tone she uses. "What do you need?"
"Your address," she answers simply, and then she needs to clarify. "And at what time Chloe's home. Also, you not to be there at that time."
"That's more than one thing, you know," Aubrey states, and Beca guesses she's probably rolled her eyes or shaken her head or something Aubrey-like. "I'll send you the address in a text, she's home after four every day, and I'm never there until at least six o'clock."
"Awesome."
"Don't you dare screw this up."
She doesn't expect to be nervous - it's Chloe and her, what's there to be nervous about? From day one, Chloe tore down the walls she has for everyone else and they've never been at the same level of friendship as Beca is with other people.
And yet, her hand hovers near the door for what feels like an eternity before she actually knocks. She wishes she made some mix or something that'd better express what she wants to say, because she's not one for words, but it's too late to back out when Chloe swings the door open.
Beca's not sure how Chloe can move so quickly to hug her, but she's not complaining. Definitely not complaining when her head falls onto Chloe's shoulder and she breathes in the familiar scent. Apples, she notes, and something so specific about Chloe that she's always loved.
"Beca!" Chloe squeals, literally into Beca's ear, before she steps back and lets Beca come inside. "What are you doing here? How do you know where I live?"
Her hands are already sweaty, Beca notes when she runs one palm against the other. There's no time to respond until she's seated on the couch in a cozy living room that looks lived in. She muses for a moment about how Aubrey feels about that, but Aubrey should be the last person on her mind.
A few beats of silence later, she realizes she never even said hello. "Uh, hi," is kind of forced, but she'll take it. "Work, and Aubrey." Full sentences are not an option at the moment, she has to focus on everything she wants to say, not answering Chloe's questions. "I have something to say, you can't interrupt."
The scout's honor sign she gets from Chloe is her go-ahead, and it does indeed mean something, because Chloe was a girl scout. "Okay. So," she starts off weakly, but there's too much to say at once.
"I gave myself time. Like, my boss opened up an office here a few months ago, and I told myself if I still felt this way in two months, I'd ask to move. So I did," she shrugs, it's kind of obvious just from her being there, in Seattle, and not LA. "And then I gave myself another month of just being here to know for sure before I asked where you live and actually came here.
"The truth is, I - uh, I like you."
She has a whole speech somewhere on her laptop, and she's all set for saying it, but Chloe stops her. Beca thinks she has a reason to get mad there, until she realizes that, "Finally," is the only thing Chloe wants to say before she presses their lips together.
"We've wasted more than four years, I don't want to waste anymore time," Chloe explains once she backs away. Maybe it shouldn't surprise Beca that Chloe already knows what she wants to say, but it does.
Aubrey declares it's about time Beca's got it, because Chloe's as subtle as a brick in the face. Beca ignores it for Aubrey's well-being. She doesn't need anyone telling her that, Chloe makes sure to remind her every morning since they've officially started dating.
Stacie has no idea how she hasn't noticed that Chloe and Beca have slept together (she normally has 20/20 vision for that), but congratulates them, anyway. Relationships are still not her thing, but she can appreciate a good thing from afar, she tells them the first time she visits.
Beca's mom asks if they've honestly just started dating, and doesn't believe her when she says yes. "You two have been far too close, you're not that close to people," she says on Skype, and Chloe nudges Beca's knee with her own, grinning from ear to ear.
The Beales want to throw a party; Chloe stops them. They sit in front of the computer in turns -Chloe's mom, then dad and then her two older brothers. (Beca remembers the brothers as far less hostile, but Chloe assures her they usually do the good cop/bad cop routine and they just haven't had time to talk about who's going to be what in this situation. Probably.)
The Bellas are all informed via the group chat Beca's pretty sure she's not supposed to be a part of.
(The messages range from Cynthia Rose's, "You get it, girls," to Fat Amy's "I've seen your lesbian from Australia, neat that it finally got to America - timezones are awkward.")
It's safe to say everyone's known they belong with each other for longer than Beca has.
The important thing from the story is: she got the girl. How long it took her... well, that gets more embarrassing every time Chloe reminds her of the unsubtle moments of the past, but whatever. She blames it on never really looking for signs because she's always connected the word friend with 'just' when it comes to them.
Beca shares that with Chloe one night - when they're too tired to be awake and it's too early to fall asleep on a weekend - and all she gets in response is a laugh and a compassionate pat on her head.
"No one's ever strictly 'just friends', Beca, not until you give it a shot and it doesn't work," Chloe explains, and it makes no sense to Beca. She nods, though, because she won't disagree.
Instead, she'll settle for a soft hum and drifting off in Chloe's arms. That seems like a much better choice.
thank you for reading! any comments are certainly appreciated.