Title – Louder Than Words
Rating - T - pretty mild fare, but some references to past painkillers and groupies (we are dealing with 2D here…). No graphic descriptions. Some very mild fluff. The main tone is romantic, not erotic.
Author's Notes - (12/12/2012):
This is a definite 2DxNoodle pairing one-shot story, so you've been warned. (^-^ )
This is my first fanfic for the Gorillaz, but I tried to stick to info from "Rise of the Ogre" and stay true to their personalities (which is important to me).
This story was just a little idea that had been rolling around in my mind for a while, but I didn't really have a foundation for it until I read the Gorillaz fanfics by ClaineDeLine (which are excellent). I see this story as taking place sometime after those stories ("Tainted", "I Am Afraid", and "Tenderly", specifically). My story is not connected to those in any way (I hope Claine doesn't mind my mention of those works here…) but as mine takes place after the "start" of the relationship, my idea felt too ungrounded in my head since I couldn't decide on a proper "how they got together" scenario. Claine's stories get that part right, I feel. So after I read those works, my story felt like it had an "origin" of sorts, and gelled quickly.
This takes place in the new HQ in England.
Gorillaz © Damon Albarn and Jamie Hewlett
This story belongs to me, infinity-plus-2.
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Noodle sat on the sofa, knees pulled up to her chest. She rested her chin on her knees, staring ahead into space, past the long deep-violet bangs which half covered one of her eyes. She had planned to watch something, or possibly play a video game, but instead she looked forward, through the blank TV screen, lost in thought. For the last few weeks, what started as a seemingly routine problem for a famous band had slowly developed into something this guitarist was having a more and more difficult time ignoring, and this afternoon it had all finally caught up with her, plunging her into a self-reflective but aimless trance.
Her thoughts had been mostly drifting without too much direction, as she absentmindedly picked at the stitches in her fluffy knit socks. She had dressed for comfort before coming downstairs earlier, vainly trying to create inner comfort through external means. She sighed, slightly chiding herself for thinking a pair of soft, thin pajama pants and a T-shirt would fix her worries. Then she cut herself a little slack. "I am young…only 21…still a lot to learn…"
Despite her self-recriminations, Noodle was a wise woman. She had always shown maturity beyond her age, even during the not-always-pleasant teen years spent mostly picking out new compositions on her guitar. Yet she had always retained a child-like energy and positive outlook. An outlook that at this moment she was trying hard to hold onto as she glanced down at the lavender stripes of her pajamas against the lime green of her socks and the pale blue of her T-Shirt. No, this is his T-shirt…
It had been several months now since Noodle and 2D had definitively become a couple. Several glorious months. She grinned slightly at the thought. Really, their relationship had been strong and special since she was 10 years old and arrived in England inside a FedEx box. But it had evolved over all those years, just as her relationships to all the band members had. At first, it was like having a bunch of older brothers. Arguably unconventional brothers, but that was the word closest to describing it, even if that label didn't quite capture it. They had also been band mates all that time, which came with all the closeness, frustrations, fights, and triumphs that only other bands could truly understand. She was forever connected to Murdoc, Russel, and 2D because of their history, like family. But with 2D, it ran even deeper. They had been especially close when she was younger; he was the fun, well-meaning, if somewhat slow older brother/best friend. Then the fame hit, and he went through some dark changes. The groupies, the pills…so many of both… He went from being the lovable dorky brother to the mostly absent family member you worried about even when you felt angry at them, like you were being forced to worry against your will.
And then, after her time in the underworld, the struggle to get back, the reunion with her band…she had been so happy to see his familiar black-out eyes and missing front teeth. And she had found him changed again. He was a little worse for wear, but life had taught the singer hard lessons and he had matured in many ways, becoming introspective…or about as introspective as someone with his less-than-stellar intelligence could get. Once the band had found the new place and decided to live together once more, she and 2D had tried to fall back into their old pattern of movies, games, and hanging out. At first it was great, like a comfortable old sweater. But the fact that she was 21 and had grown into a lovely and wise woman didn't escape even 2D, and the fact that he was 34 and had come through the darkness with his gentle and beautiful soul still intact had not escaped her. Feelings bloomed, and they watched their relationship shift yet again, into that of lovers. They both felt safe and happy with each other.
But now she was feeling an old worry tug at her mind's corners again…
It had seemed almost laughable at first. Some random woman had contacted the band, claiming that her child was 2D's. This was not the first time this rumor had been floated around; everyone was well aware of his time with groupies in the past. By the end of the fame induced haze, he had all but sworn off women, carrying the weight of a guilt he felt was too good for him.
"I dun' even deserve to feel bad…I deserve…I dun' know…summfink worse…" he would tell her, despite her efforts to reassure him it was the past. Noodle was the first real relationship he'd allowed himself in years.
Murdoc had scoffed at the pictures the woman had sent, pointing out the obviousness of the blue dye job to the child's hair to try and make him appear more like the naturally blunette 2D.
"Ha! Idiot doesn't even know you didn't start growing blue hair 'til the brain damage happened!" the bassist had quipped.
Instead of cowing to demands from the woman for money to "keep it quiet", the band had petitioned for a paternity test. 2D wanted to keep what little good name he could, and Murdoc was not about to let his band be extorted, at least not by anyone other than him. Even though the results wouldn't be known until later (tomorrow, in fact, Noodle realized, remembering the date) everyone knew what the result would be – the woman had visibly blanched when she heard the test ordered, but was unable to stop it without losing face.
And so that was that. Typical fame crap. Stuff that happens when you're in a successful band. 2D tried hard to laugh it off. But Noodle knew better; she knew it bothered him, because it was a reminder of his past. He had been so happy, for the first time in such a long time…and then this happened. No peace for you…you can never forget what you did…it seemed to ring in his aching head.
The stress first showed itself in a predictable way: his headaches got worse. At first, he made an effort not to show this; he was trying to cut as far back on the pain meds as possible, because he knew they bothered his little violet-haired guitarist. He had lived with headaches so long that stoically ignoring them had become normal, as long as they didn't get too bad. But with that nagging 1% of doubt rattling around in his skull…what if it is my child?...however small a doubt it was, it was causing his now untreated headaches to grow into massive migraines. This meant a lot more time lying down with dim lights in his room, and a lot less time watching DVDs or doing much else at home after he got back from his day job. Noodle understood. This also meant his temper getting a bit short at times – he even snapped at Murdoc once, earning a rather counter-productive smack to the head. Noodle understood. But then the periods in his room grew longer, and he would shut the door. He started turning her away when she would try to bring him snacks or compresses or really any excuse she could think of to go into his room, sometimes claiming to be working on new songs as an excuse for needing solitude. She kept telling herself she understood and denying that she was starting to really worry.
And so, here she found herself on the sofa. Rebuffed again.
She had seen his door closed, again, when she got home. Murdoc was out committing some debauchery or other, and their oversized drummer was sleeping deeply again on the roof. She had entered the house through the kitchen, seeing 2D's work uniform jacket lying on the table. Was 2D even in? She knocked lightly at his door, not sure of which result to hope for. She wanted to see him…but she didn't like him spending so much time in there alone.
"2D? Are you home?" she called softly. Silence, but she thought she heard blankets shift…
"I was thinking we could watch Dawn of the Dead again…" she offered.
She heard more shifting, and felt a twinge of hope that he wouldn't be able to resist one of his favorite movies.
"'ey, luff. Maybe later? I'm a bit busy now…", came the wobbly Cockney accent through the door.
"Oh…okay…" she said, disappointed again, and went to her room to change before heading downstairs.
That had been two hours ago. She realized that the light in the room had grown dimmer as evening approached and fell around her like a cloud of deepening doubts. She should turn on a lamp…
But she stayed seated, pulling her knees closer. After her review of the events leading to this moment, her thoughts started to collect and take shape. She had been avoiding just that, and quickly had to mentally squash down a surfacing idea.
What if he is relapsing?
No. No…it's just been all this paternity business. It's the stress. Tomorrow the results will show the woman lied, and he won't have this stress on him anymore. That's all. She repeated this thought chain to herself, to drown out the doubt.
He will be fine…but…
Two little thoughts popped up in her mind, and she quickly buried them again, but not before they registered in her consciousness.
It is the pills again…
Maybe I was not good enough a reason to stop taking pills…
She physically shook her head from side to side, as if to sweep the thoughts away. She had cast them down in her mind, but she had heard them. The second one cut deeply. She looked down at her small hands, feeling her old insecurities crawl into the growing ball of bad thoughts in her head…she felt the heat growing under her green eyes…she was going to tear up…
And that sensation made something snap. Her little hands began to ball up into fists. Why am I sitting down here in the dark, alone? She thought, her anger building. If he is relapsing, I will not just sit here and cry! I will do something about it!
She stood up, and willed the heat and dampness behind her eyes to die down. She then marched up the stairs, stopping firmly in front of his closed door.
"2D? Are you alright? I am coming in." She called through the door, trying to maintain an even tone and normal volume.
"Wot? Wait…" the startled reply came quickly, the tone sounding worried.
That settled it. She turned the knob and opened the door wide to step in, feeling a brief flash of relief that the door wasn't locked.
2D jumped up from his bed and to his feet fast, his lanky form spinning to face her, a surprised look on his face.
"Noodal?! Wot's this about? I..I'm tryin' to rest…" he started to snap, but weakly trailed off when his black eyes met her firm jade gaze. She was clearly here with purpose; he'd seen that look before, and knew it meant her mind was set.
"I am worried about you being alone in here so much." She announced matter-of-factly, and began stepping over the random piles of junk on the floor and further into the room, towards his bed…
"No…please, wait…" he started to whine, but then his large hands shot up to his temples and he groaned. He had been fighting a migraine all afternoon. Because he stood up so fast when the door opened, he had given it the last encouraging push it needed to start pounding inside his head like an angry animal. A throbbing wave of pain hit, and he stumbled back a few steps, turning on his heels, his side now facing the Japanese woman. He sat down on his feet on the floor, to avoid falling, still cradling his head in his hands.
Noodle stopped advancing, now very worried at the sight of his pain. He has a bad migraine…maybe I should go? But she remembered her mission. First find out what the hell was going on, and then try to resolve it. She was the hope, the good, the light of this band…and now of this relationship. What good was that if she couldn't use it to help the one she loved? And to help, she needed the truth. 2D had shot off his bed like it was on fire when she opened the door…like he was hiding something…
Her resolve steadied. She walked up through the small entrance way into his room, past the bathroom door and then beside the bed beyond the jutting corner the walls formed which kept the bed out of sight from the doorway.
"Oww…wait…" he whimpered from his spot on the floor, hands still holding his head, fingers buried in erratic limp blue spikes of hair.
A look of contrition passed over her face. Sorry, but I need to know…
She turned to look at his bed, prepared to see a scene similar to his room back at Kong: open orange bottles lying about, pills scattered over the blankets… But…there were no pills. Nothing lay upon the blankets…except a book. She blinked in surprise, and then picked up the book, reading its title: Easy Beginner Japanese: learn to speak in 10 minutes a day!
She stood there, stunned, staring at the book in her hand. 2D…trying to learn? To speak another language?
"It wos supposed to be a surprise…" 2D said, looking up, one hand still rubbing a temple, while the other dropped to his knee.
"A…surprise?" She was still having trouble comprehending this. This had to be about the last thing she had expected to find.
"Your birthday is comin' up…I wanted to surprise yew and be able to say a few fings…" he looked a little deflated, now that his plan was revealed.
"But…I know English…" -In fact, she knew several languages fluently- "and your headaches…I thought…the pills again…" She couldn't stop staring at the book in disbelief. She hardly heard what she was saying, her responses just coming out unfiltered as her mind struggled with the shock.
His thick eyebrows knit together briefly, then relaxed. "Yea, but your voice is so pretty when yew speak Japanese, luff. An' I know yew dun' like the meds…ow…" he winced, the other hand going back to his head while he reflexively bent in on himself as another wave of pain hit.
Her eyes remained fixed on the book a few seconds more, until a wet drop hit her hand, snapping her back to the present. Startled, she reached her other hand to her face, discovering tears running down her cheeks silently. She was so relieved; her joy was overwhelming, almost literally running over. She finally looked over to him…to see him wracked with pain. In the same instant the meaning of what he'd been saying just now finally registered. A wave of regret washed over her, realizing she'd suspected the worst of him, when really he…
Her heart shattered at the thought.
In one swift motion she tossed the book back on the bed and half threw herself, half fell down onto the floor beside him, wrapping her arms around his back and front and burying her face in the sharp shoulder nearest her.
He felt the wetness of her tears through his T-shirt sleeve, and looked at her anxiously. Social tact (along with all kinds of other people skills) had never been his strong point, and he was aware of this. He wasn't sure what he had done wrong, but he felt he had possibly messed up, because she was crying.
"I'm sorry, luff. Dun' cry…I dinna mean to do whaeva I did…" he said gently and tried to stroke her violet hair. To his relief, he felt a smile form on her face against his arm. Noodle giggled softly. Here was 2D, she thought, shining proof that no matter how dark it got, a person could turn their life around. The very image of the second chance.
"baka…" she chided herself aloud, softly.
"'ey, I'm not that far along yet. No fair usin' words I 'aven't studied." 2D quipped.
Noodle lifted her lightly tear-streaked face and met his black eyes, seeing his gap-toothed and hopeful grin. She suddenly broke into a huge smile, and swung herself around to face him straight on, sitting on his knees. She squeezed him and kissed him firmly with no warning. The quick force of her moves knocked him off balance, and 2D fell over backwards, thin arms flailing with Noodle's arms securely around his neck. His head half-landed on a pile of crumpled clothes, sections of blue hair fanning out in all directions. Noodle didn't get up; instead, she continued to giggle happily and settled her small frame comfortably on top of him while nuzzling her face into his neck.
2D felt the pain in his head subside and calm down a little, now that his head was level with the ground. Having a beautiful Japanese woman lying on him didn't hurt either, serving as quite the distraction from any pain. He wrapped his long arms around her, and ran his fingers through her soft disheveled hair, a smile on his face. They remained that way, quite content, for a while.
"Noodal?" 2D finally said, noticing when she had stopped giggling to herself.
"Stuart…" she hummed into his neck. His real name had become her ultimate term of endearment for him, used as a strictly in-private pet name.
Whenever she called him this, it drove him nearly mad with desire for her, and she knew it.
Smiling wider, he squeezed her tighter and tangled his legs with hers, both of them feeling extremely fortunate that the other band members weren't inside the house tonight.
End
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Author's Note - That's about all there is to it. I tried hard to do justice to those two, so I hope it comes across that way.
Comments and thoughtful critiques are always welcome and appreciated!
~infinity-plus-2