Summary: Damon Salvatore stopped believing in happy birthday's a long time ago. Unfortunately, they still come around. If that's not rough it's going to be the first birthday without his brother since Stefan's sacrifice on that fateful night. Is Damon doomed to continue the streak of bad birthdays or will something good come out from it?
Authors Note: I'll always hold an ounce of resentment towards the writers that pretty much every character got a birthday except Damon. This just came to me while being sick in bed. Took a couple of hours to write but takes a second to give feedback which would be appreciated. Now, on with the show.
'Happy Birthday'
The statement explained what such a day entailed, happiness. But, Damon Salvatore found it foreign because he had never experienced a happy birthday. Scratch that, back when he had been younger his mom and their maid every year had baked him a cake. He had not only found great joy in eating the cake but each year he was allowed into the kitchen where he was taught how to properly bake a cake. He found that he loved watching his mother and their maid breeze around the kitchen. He admired the grace of it all and he had always been eager as ever to help. Somehow, cake just seemed to taste better when it was made by his and the people he loved hands.
The evidence of that day always had to be thrown out before his father would get home from work because Giuseppe had never been one to celebrate. At least, when it came to Damon. Stefan, had been a whole other story. After their mothers 'passing' Stefan had been treated like a King. Giuseppe would throw these lavish parties and invite the whole town. Kids from the school would come and all attention would be focused on Stefan. Once, Damon had found the courage to ask his father why he never celebrated his birthday and the answer had crushed him.
Birthdays are meant to celebrate the day someone came into your life. You are not a celebration but a curse and a burden. Stefan is celebrated on this day because he is a gift, he is the son who doesn't disappoint me and will make something out of his life unlike you.
From then on, Damon had blocked out birthday's. Each year that his came around he treated it like every other day, nothing special because in the eyes of his father he wasn't special. One would think that as a vampire he would have celebrated to his dead hearts content but still it was just another day in his book. Even Stefan overtime it seemed had forgotten. As a vampire for over one hundred and forty-five years he hadn't celebrated his birthday but now would things change? He was human again, engaged to the love of his life and today was his birthday. Would today be any different?
No, his gaze remaining trained on the crypt that is in front of him. Today was his birthday and rather than being at home in his loft sulking about he instead found himself at a cemetery in Mystic Falls. It was okay though because with Elena at med school it meant she was too busy to notice he was gone and if she had noticed he had told her that he was traveling to get some ideas for his bar that would soon be opening for business. No one knew he was here. He didn't reach out to anyone who lived in the town he once considered home, didn't ask to crash at the Boarding House even though no one was there. Caroline had been staying with Ric and the girls because she had needed some 'light' that had come from the darkness that had taken Stefan. No, he wouldn't be on anyone's radar today. He'd spend countless hours here and when he was ready he'd slip back in his car and drive six hours back home and act like he hadn't taken a spontaneous trip to see his brother.
"Birthdays are meant to celebrate the day someone came into your life."
Finally, speaking up as he leans against a rock. His attention remaining perfectly trained on the crypt acting as if it's Stefan standing before him and not a block of stone.
"My birthday was never celebrated because I'm a curse. A burden as father would kindly say. Maybe the bastard was right. I am a curse. The proof is right there."
Gesturing towards the crypt as he shakes his head.
"Father, celebrated you because he deemed you worth something. Said you were the good son. Yet somehow the good son is dead and the bad son is spared. How fucked up is that?"
Carelessly swinging the bottle of bourbon around as he watches the liquid slosh back and forth.
"I'm not going to thank you for what you did. What some see as incredibly selfless I see it as stupid. You were human. You had the chance to be human. It was what you always wanted. You could have been playing house with Caroline and having brooding kids of your own. Which hopefully, they'd be brood free because wrinkles on a kid just doesn't go together."
A bitter chuckle escaping him before his face darkens.
"It should have been me. I was ready to die. Fuck brother, how many times are you going to steal my choice away from me?"
Falling silent for a moment, expecting an answer but only hearing wind.
"You sacrificed yourself because you wanted me to be happy and live my life well the joke is on you because I'm miserable."
Releasing a soft sigh as he runs his free hand through his dark locks. Deciding to correct himself as he speaks again.
"Elena is back in my life. Light has entered the picture again. I'm human. I get the chance to fulfil my promise that I made to her years ago, to be her husband, partner and somewhere down the road father of her kids. God, I want to be happy because I've gotten everything I wanted yet I can't be because…. because."
Struggling with his next words as he grips tightly onto the neck of the bottle.
"Because it feels incredibly selfish to allow myself to embrace all of this because you aren't being given the same opportunity. Isn't it ironic? I'm deemed the selfish brother and yet I don't want to be selfish. All I want is you back here…. or at least know you're not stuck in this never-ending darkness. That you found peace and you're okay…. but I don't and until I do I'm just stuck here in the unknown."
Gritting his teeth together before anger gets the best of him. Before he can stop himself, he's launching the bottle, expecting it to hit the tree but it never shatters. Instead, it remains perfectly intact. Damon, spotting a hand and a second later he catches a flash of blonde as Caroline stands before him.
"Blondie"
Inwardly flinching as he eyes her.
"How much of that did you hear?"
"Enough to be able to say you're being incredibly selfish."
Nodding his head because at least she seemed to agree. At least she most likely hated him and couldn't stand the sight of him. His mouth opening only to be silenced as she speaks again.
"Selfish because Stefan sacrificed himself for this town and his loved ones and you're number one on that list. You were ready to do the same thing so why is it any different?"
"Because Stefan deserved to live, not me. Don't you get it Caroline? I've done so much bad."
"Yet you've also done a lot of good."
"Not nearly enough."
This time, his voice cracking.
"Not enough to be the one standing here when Stefan isn't."
Baby blues suddenly lowering as he remains slumped against the rock. For a few seconds, he's met with silence and he believes the discussion is over. Instead, he finds Caroline now sliding down so that she can sit next to him.
"There was a time when Stefan deemed you as a lost cause."
"Just like everyone else"
Blue meeting blue but Caroline's shade fiercer.
"You're going to let me speak and not interrupt me, got it?"
Damon's brow drawing up
"Are you compelling me? You know I'm on vervain precautionary measure and all."
A scoff escaping her as she swats his shoulder.
"No, you idiot I'm not trying to compel you. I'm just telling you to hear me out, okay?"
Knowing that he's fighting a losing battle he simply nods his head in agreement. That being enough for Caroline to continue.
"He saw you as a monster and the only thing he wanted was to put as much distance between him and his brother as possible. Somewhere along the way though you two found a common goal, protecting Elena and somewhere further along the way he found his brother. It was no longer about keeping you at a distance but making sure you remained near. Yes, you and Stefan had your differences. No, neither of you are perfect. You could be a reckless dick and he could be a reckless ripper. You lacked the ability to keep your emotions in control because when they got the best of you, you acted out. He lacked the ability to keep his blood lust in control and when that got the best of him he became someone we didn't recognize. You could both be monsters but at the end of the day you were also men. You could be at each-others' throats but at the end of the day you'd die for each other. That's what Stefan did for you Damon, he stopped seeing you as a vampire and simply saw you as his brother. Someone who I'm sure he's watched suffer a tremendous deal over the years. Someone who saw what you defined as happiness and rather than watch it slip away he fought so that you could hold onto it. Damon, you both might not have been vocal about it but you loved each other no question and when you love someone you make sacrifices for them and that's what Stefan did for you. He gave up his life so that you could live yours, so that we all could."
He had done as she had requested. Remained silent and allowed her to speak. He wasn't sure how he should feel hearing her words but it seemed to cause a dull ache to settle in his stomach.
"Caroline"
"The Salvatore Brothers might have had their differences but in many ways, they were the same."
"How?"
"Because they each carried guilt. If it had been you in Stefan's place he'd be right here. He'd be doing the same thing that you are doing now. Blaming himself, resenting you and not allowing himself to feel a fraction of happiness because you're gone and I would be telling him the same thing."
Curiosity getting the better of Damon.
"Which would be?"
"I'd tell him not to let his brother's sacrifice go down in vain."
Caroline, now placing her hand over Damon's hand so that he's forced to look at her.
"Don't let your brother's sacrifice go down in vain."
Digesting her words knowing that he couldn't just flip a switch and suddenly feel better. However, he could try because Caroline was right I owe it to my brother. Rather than speaking up he simply squeezes her hand and gives a nod of his head.
The action drawing Caroline to rest her head against Damon's shoulder. Resulting in the used to be bad ass Vampire laying his head atop hers. A comfortable silence draping between the two of them as Damon finally speaks up.
"How did you know I was here?"
Not answering right away before finally speaking up.
"I didn't. I visit him every day and found you here."
Feeling the answer is legit he nods his head. A second later Caroline is getting up from her spot and dusting herself off.
"Come on, let's go."
Looking up and arching his brow at her
"Go where?"
"To get a proper drink."
Hesitating for a moment before he rises to his feet. Dusting his jeans off and then taking the almost empty bottle she holds and spilling it onto the ground.
"Bottoms up brother."
Wrapping his arm around the small of Caroline's back as he begins to lead them out of the forest. The two falling into step with each other.
"Where'd you park your car?"
"I didn't. Took the faster route."
Giving him a wink as she makes her way over towards his parked car. Fishing the keys from out of his jacket, Caroline hopping into the passenger side and him slipping into the driver's side. Inserting the key into the ignition allowing his baby to purr to life. His eyes flicking back over towards the crypt, half hoping to catch a glimpse of his brother or some sign that he's at peace. Instead, he finds nothing. Shaking his head and dismissing the disappointment he drives off.
"What the hell?"
Damon's car coming to a slow stop as he recognizes the faces of his loved ones standing out on the side of the road. Alaric, Bonnie, Jeremy, Matt and a face he can't place but his attention doesn't remain on that man for long because he's too focused on fact that Elena is here as well.
"Caroline"
Not moving from his spot but finally turning his attention to her in complete confusion.
"What's going on?"
"Do you remember how I said not to let Stefan's sacrifice go in vain?"
Nodding his head but still confused as ever.
"This is that moment."
"Moment to what?"
Offering him a gentle smile as she unlocks and slides out of her door.
"The only way you'll find that answer is by getting out of the car."
Hesitant for a moment before he kills the engine of his car. Pushing the door open, stepping out and now being met by Elena.
"Hi."
"Hi back."
Everyone else forgotten for a moment as he only focuses on them.
"Aren't you supposed to be changing bedpans at the hospital or something?"
"Nope, I'm exactly where I need to be."
Looking past Elena and over at Caroline who has joined Bonnie. Confusion still not removing from his features.
"As happy as I am to see you Elena I'm not understanding why you're here or for that matter why any of you are here."
Glancing down to see that Elena has now grasped both her hands in his and flicking his attention up to her. Blue meeting the most beautiful and warmest shade of brown.
"Because we want to celebrate the day you came into our lives Damon."
Instantly recognizing the words and shooting Caroline an accusatory glare.
"You told her?"
"Yeah Dimwit I told her and in the span of the half hour that I was with you Elena magically hopped on a flight that got her here in less than six hours."
Caroline's voice dripping with sarcasm but realizing that she's right.
"Then I don't understand."
"Stefan told me."
Attention drawing back to Elena looking at her in disbelief.
"H-he told you?"
"Yes, when I had my memory wiped of you after you returned Stefan was trying to reason with me. With the way, the compulsion worked I only remembered the bad parts about you. I guess he was hoping that with stories from your past I'd see past the bad and see the human in you. When I started falling for you again I wanted to make up for what I had done. You were so understanding and kind. I felt guilty because the time you had been back should have been spent holding you but because of the compulsion I kept you at arm's length. Believing that I'd never get my memories of you and of us restored again I made a promise to myself that I would make it up to you. I put in the back of my mind your birthday. Stefan, told me how we took a trip to Atlanta and that's how our friendship began. I wanted to take another trip, make new memories but then."
But then is right
"You were ripped away from me."
Elena doesn't miss the despair that's heard in his voice which causes her to squeeze his hands together. Reminding him that she's here now.
"Alright, that still doesn't explain why we're here. I mean you said it's my birthday but I don't see any balloons, streamers or cake."
His tone teasing but still curiosity mirrors in his eyes.
"The whole reason why you refuse to celebrate your birthday is because you lost faith in that day."
Now, growing serious. His tone somewhat dismissive but to anyone who knew Damon well they could detect the sadness hidden beneath it.
"I stopped believing in Happy Birthday's a long time ago."
"What if I could change that?"
"I doubt you can but color me curious."
Had he still possessed Vampire hearing he probably would have heard Caroline scold him but since he didn't whatever she or any of his other loved ones said to him would fall on deaf ears.
"Do you know where we are?"
Now looking at Elena as if she's crazy.
"On a road."
Releasing her hands from his as she walks back.
"Not just a road, our road."
"O-kay" drawling out the one word.
"The road where we first met, do you remember what you told me that night?"
A shadow of a smile working itself on his features that even he can't fight. Oh, if only she knew how he revisited this road many a times in his dreams. Mirroring the exact movements from that night as he proceeds to step closer towards her.
"I told you that you wanted a love that consumed you. With passion, adventure and even a little danger."
By now they are standing face to face with their chests pressed together.
"I didn't know it at the time but I'd soon come to the realization that all that and more would be found in you."
The two falling into their usual bubble as the rest of the world and everyone disappears.
"You brought me back to life that night. You drew me to care about someone other than myself, other than Katherine and it scared the hell out of me."
"Why did it scare you?"
"Because in just that short time of knowing you I already knew how easy it would be to fall in love with you and deep down I knew a part of me already had."
Both sharing a smile but this time it's Damon who interlaces his fingers with hers. The clearing of someone's throat most likely Baby Gilbert reminding them that they aren't alone. Elena's sheepish grin causing Damon's smile to match hers.
"We said hello on this road."
The light that had been in Elena's eyes suddenly fading.
"But we also said goodbye here as well."
He hadn't just said goodbye to Elena he had said goodbye to happiness, hope and most importantly his heart because as far as Damon had been concerned his heart could only be found in her. For all those years, he had been nothing but a vessel, waiting on her return and when she finally did come back to him it hadn't been how he pictured it to be.
"That was the most difficult moment of my life because I was forced to say goodbye to my life."
Taking her hand, she lifts it so that she can rest it on his cheek.
"I'm here now."
Immediately leaning into her touch, closing his eyes and savoring in such a feeling.
"We said hello on this road, goodbye on this road and it only makes sense that we say now say I do."
The last part of the statement drawing Damon's eyes open as he looks at her making sure he heard correctly.
"Come again?"
"You never celebrate your birthday because each time the day approaches it serves as a constant reminder of disappointment. This road that has been a crucial part of our story became tainted when we each were put through the hardest moments of our lives having to say goodbye. We have the opportunity to change that. Damon, next year when this day approaches you won't dread it. You'll welcome it and celebrate it because you'll remember that we said I do. You'll think back to this road and not be drawn to the sadness felt here but the joy because this is where two people who are madly in love with each other stood before their loved ones and pledged their love to one another."
Swallowing hard as he looks past her before his conflicted blues turn back to her. His expression clear as day displaying that he's struggling.
"No Elena, this can't be what you want. You're finally human again. You're in medical school to be a doctor. You finally have a sense of normality again. You deserve normal. You deserve to be in a white dress, having music playing as you walk down the aisle, surrounded by a crowd of people as they look on secretly envious knowing there's no way in hell they'll come close to looking as breath-taking as you. You deserve to have a roof over your head or at least be somewhere that screams wedding, this" gesturing towards the space around them "doesn't scream that."
"You're right Damon this doesn't scream normal because you and I aren't normal and I'm not sorry about that. I'm not sorry that I met you. That knowing you has made me understand what love, real love feels like. That whether sporting fangs or a heartbeat you're still the only person who makes me feel most alive. We've faced so much together and through it all we always found our way back to each other. Fate and the universe itself was powerless when it came to our love. Our love isn't ordinary Damon, it's extraordinary and I won't apologize for that."
Feeling as if his breath had suddenly been stolen from him as he processes her words. A familiar speech, one he deemed his favorite now being tweaked. The last time she had recited those words had been to prove her love to him and now she was doing it again.
"Elena"
"I don't need a white dress to feel special Damon."
Framing his face in her hands and taking the pad of her thumb to stroke his cheek.
"All I need to do is look into your eyes and I feel it."
His voice just above a whisper.
"Why are you doing this Elena?"
"Because I want to prove something."
"What?"
"That your father was wrong. That this is a day to be celebrated because on this day the man I love was born and though it took a century for me to finally meet him when he did finally come into my life he changed it for the better. I want to prove to your father that you aren't a curse but a gift. I want the pain of every past birthday you felt unworthy and unloved to be replaced only by love."
Now, tracing the band of her engagement ring realizing more and more that he's going to give into her. Be consumed by her.
"This is love."
Finally, lifting his eyes back to meet hers and offering her a hint of a smile.
"And here I thought it was the groom who put pressure on the bride."
Elena, sensing that Damon was no longer fighting her over this resulting in her smiling.
"Like I said, we don't do normal."
Flashing her a pearly white grin, lifting her ring finger to his lips and pressing a kiss against it.
"Thank God for that."
Both leaning in closer and just as their lips are about to touch their movements are halted by other voices making themselves known.
NO! Guys you aren't supposed to kiss until you may now kiss the bride is said. It's bad luck
Caroline, they just said how they are far from normal
So, it's still bad luck Bonnie
Bad luck or not I'm grateful. I've seen my sister suck face with Damon more times than I can count
Both, now turning to their bickering loved ones before Alaric's voice overpowers everyone else's.
"Are you guys getting married or not because the girls are with the baby sitter and yet I still feel as if I'm surrounded by children."
"Buddy, you sure it's that or is it just because you're old?"
Damon, piping in with a telltale smirk causing Alaric to flip him the bird drawing Damon to simply blow a kiss in his direction.
"Hey"
Feeling Elena nudge, him with her shoulder as she reprimands him.
"Be nice."
The action only drawing Damon to smile even more.
"Well you're already acting like my wife, might as well make it official."
The teasing in Damon's tone dying down and his playful expression softening.
"Let's get married."
"Really?"
"Yes, I want to be your husband Elena. I'm ready."
The applause of their loved ones sounding but it's all drowned out because Damon is only focusing on her. He's watching the way her entire expression lights up because he said yes. He's noticing how she's taking his hand and leading him over towards the preacher that he assumes Caroline compelled to be compliant. He's meeting a loving shade of brown with his eyes meeting hers as they stand across from each other. Most importantly he's focusing in on what he feels, something he hasn't experienced in a long time. Something he finds himself clinging onto, happiness.
It's not always going to be easy. It's not like one single day will make the burden of his brother's death go away. He'll still carry that guilt and mourn over the loss of his best friend. There will be good days where Stefan' death won't be as fresh but there will also be the bad days where it'll feel like it just happened yesterday. Someday's he'll be trapped in darkness and others bathed in light, the kind of light that only Elena would be able to provide. He'd still be haunted by the question of whether Stefan found peace. Maybe now that he's human he'd fall back into prayer and find faith again in hopes that it would be enough to soothe his tortured soul.
To be your husband, partner and father of your kids
The first part minutes from being completed. This dream now becoming reality and Damon knows it's only possible because of what his brother had sacrificed.
Don't let your brother's sacrifice go down in vain
Caroline's words playing back in his head. Shifting his gaze towards her and seeing she must have sensed what he had been thinking considering she had given him a gentle nod.
Stefan, had done the ultimate sacrifice so that Damon could stand where he's standing now. Pledging his love to the love of his life and moving one step closer to a future that he and Elena had planned but had to say goodbye to years ago, Now, thanks to Stefan they could say hello, in more ways than one.
Hello to each other
Hello to happiness
Hello to their future
This gift, this wonderful gift had been given by his brother would be something that Damon would never take for granted and always cherish. Until he breathed his last breath and even beyond that.
As Elena's words of love washed over him he found himself filled with a new sense of hope. A hope that one day he would say hello to his brother once again, embrace him and thank him for everything he had given him.
Until then, he would honor his brothers sacrifice and remind himself that anytime something good found its way to his doorstep he wouldn't hesitate.
"I do"
He'd invite it in.
End