A/N: this is my response to what I read in volume 15 of the FMA manga books, and as such this follows the manga as much as my memory and level of reading through the series allows it to. It does contain one... I call it a swear word, but it isn't a bad one. Just h-e-double-hockey-stick. Please enjoy!

Alex: we own nothing

Uniform

"The moment you put on this uniform out of your own free will, you knew something like this could be expected of you."

That was what Kimblee had said to the then Major Mustang on the battlefield of Ishbal. He had been talking about how "odd" it was that people like Mustang tried to justify their actions on the front line. The blood; the death; the carnage; for Kimblee, it had all just been a job, and one the Red Lotus alchemist enjoyed as well. But, to Roy, Maes, and Riza, it had been far more than that. It wasn't just some job, they were taking the lives of the innocents! Women and children, as well as the guilty men who killed the Amestrian soldiers.

Killing. Murder. That had never been what Roy Mustang, student of Master Hawkeye, had wanted. He had wanted to help his fellow man, was that so much to ask? Instead, he took those lives, and countless more with the research that his Master had worked so hard to keep from the wrong hands. Mustang never would have guessed that those unwanted hands...would be his own.

He did things, despicable things that kept him up at night, or worse, let him sleep only to relive those horrid days of pain and misery again and again. He had signed up for the military for the good of his fellow man, not the extermination of them. He wouldn't wish his experiences on anyone else, no one deserved the things he had seen, or done, on either side of the coin of fate. One side taking life, the other, life taken away.

Which made him wonder: if he, Colonel Roy Mustang, felt so strongly as he did about his actions in war, why had he helped to recruit a twelve-year-old child into the military's ranks as a State Alchemist? The very ones responsible for the most deaths in the Ishbalan war?

Naïvety, that's what he blamed. Roy still believed in the military's ability to bring good into this blood ridden country, and he needed as many allies as he could to accomplish his goal. Even if it involved a certain annoying brat being by his side.

But still... He wanted to protect the boy from the horrors Roy had seen. The Elric's had seen enough of hell, and he wouldn't be the one to make them see more of it.

Which brought the Colonel's thoughts full-circle, back to Kimblee's words spoken in Ishbal. The military uniform, a symbol of a soldiers complete and utter loyalty to the state under which he served. From the moment a soldier put on that blue regalia, the soldier would have to know that one day, they would be buried in it as well. They would have to know, that certain things would be expected of them, things like being called to war where thousands of lives would be taken by your own bloody hands. And they would know, that all the things they did in that uniform, an order or not, was of they're own free will. It was their choice to don the uniform, and all the expectations and responsibilities it brought.

So, when a certain alchemist with golden hair and eyes flat out refused to wear the "Pain in the butt, stuck-up monkey suit", Roy didn't insist or complain. He simply gave Edward a knowing smile, threw the pocket watch at the boy, issued his official title, and sent him away. Roy was positive the boy was confused by his lack of objections at least to his brash language, let alone the lack of urging to wear the uniform, but he didn't mind. To the Flame Alchemist, it was a symbolic move.

Edward Elric would not be joining the military on its terms, but his own. He would be the one to decide when, where, and for what his alchemy would be used for, not the state. His actions, would be his own, and that was something that Roy both admired...and envied.

Roy smiled as he watched his subordinate leave his office still dressed in the familiar stark black and gaudy red he always wore. "Good for you, Fullmetal, good for you."

A/N: so what do you think? I'm a sucker for the deep, internal thoughts of the characters, so I thought I would try my hand at writing a reflective sort of oneshot. I'm not entirely sure on how I did, since I was simply typing away as the words were whispered to me by my muse Alex. I was simply along for the ride of making sure the words were spelled right and no typos of DYAC moments were made. Please tell me what you think!