Damon's first ball after losing Elena
As soon as he got out of the car and stared at the happily decorated entrance, he turned on his heels to leave but Stefan stopped him by blocking his way back to the car.
"Damon, we talked about this," he reminded him. "It's time."
Damon cringed and let out a frustrated sigh, knowing that his overbearing little brother was right. Stefan had coerced him into coming. If it had been up to him, he would still be at home on the couch with a bottle of bourbon at hand. "Elena told you to live your life. I don't think she meant stay indoors all day lost in a bourbon haze," Stefan had pointed out as gently as he could. And with that, his brother had successfully played the guilt card and now he was standing here wishing for nothing else but to retreat back to the solitude of the boarding house.
Being here without her felt wrong. He had resorted to thinking about Elena using the term "her" instead of thinking her name, because every time someone mentioned Elena, or he dared think the word, it hurt. It hurt with the equivalent of someone stabbing him with a red hot poker. He was past the phase of thinking every brunette was her, or thinking that he saw her, when in fact he had not. According to Caroline he was entering the acceptance phase. – Typical Caroline to assign phases to the grieving process. All he knew was that for the next 60 to 70 years, he would be trapped inside a dark hole until she opened her eyes and shone her radiant light on him once more.
"Come on Damon," Caroline urged as she took Stefan's arm. "I went through a lot of trouble decorating for this ball. The least you can do is go inside."
Damon noticed Stefan's proud smile as he looked down at Caroline. His brother was happy. If he himself wasn't so profoundly miserable, he would be happy for him. But he just couldn't muster the feeling. Stefan's happiness only served to remind him how unhappy he was.
"All right," he lifted his hands in mock surrender; "If it will get the two of you off my back."
Walking forward, he braced himself as he entered through the doorway.
It's been seven months since he has been in a crowd and the buzz of people talking instantly annoyed him, as did all the happy couples dancing to the rhythm of the music. Wishing he had his bourbon at hand, he made his way to the drinks table and poured himself a drink.
His eyes drifted to the stairs at the end of the room as a dark haired woman wearing a blue dress descended. Instantly, he thought of her. Elena. Their first dance at Miss Mystic Falls.
She may not have won the title, but she had won his heart that day. He had been mesmerized by her. It was like the two of them were dancing alone as the crowd faded away. All he could hear at that moment was the rapid beating of his heart and the faraway tune of the music. She was nervous too. Her heart was beating just as fast.
Turning away from the refreshment table, he realized how much he missed her smile. He missed making her smile. He had been successful that night at the decade dance. She was so concerned over Klaus who was still a threat but he had managed to make her smile anyway.
He turned from the refreshment table as the memory of their first dance as vampires came to him. Things really got hot and heavy on the dance floor that night. Both of them were high on blood and had eyes only for the other.
Tossing the empty glass aside angrily, he made his way through the crowd towards the door. He needed some air, the memories were suffocating him. He knew this would happen. Stefan meant well, but he had no idea what he was going through. Pausing, he ducked outside to the balcony, the cool air chilling his heated skin. A woman stood with her back facing him. She wore a red lace gown and her dark hair fell over her shoulders.
Damon swallowed hard. Elena is not here, he reminded himself. But the woman turned around and he felt his heart stop as he took in a breath.
"Hello Damon," she said softly, her hazel eyes warm as she smiled.
He froze, unable to move, as if unable to fully comprehend what he was seeing in front of him.
"E…Elena?" his voice sounded course and he barely managed to move his lips.
"Dance with me, Damon," she asked like she had that final night on the road where they had first met. On that road where they had said goodbye.
She extended her hand, waiting for him to take it, but he couldn't bring himself to reach out to her. His chest felt like it was about to explode and every breath felt like it offered no air. He hardly ever cried, but the tears were clouding his vision of her now and he let them run freely from his cheeks. She was as beautiful as the last time he had seem her. Her lips looked just as soft as the time he had kissed her in the hay. He could still feel her hands around him and he remembered knowing every part of her body intimately and how he had lovingly caressed it.
"I miss you," he said to the figure in front of him, not caring if it was real or not. He wanted to stare at her forever.
"I know," she said, her hazel eyes suddenly sad. "But Damon, I am not gone. I am still with you. We will be together again. It pains me to see you suffer like this." He broke at the sight of her despair and reached out to take her into his arms and hold her against his chest but the moment he touched her the image shattered, leaving him alone on the balcony. His breath hitched as he wiped the tears from his face. "Until we meet again, baby," he whispered as the doors opened and Stefan joined him on the balcony.
"Damon, are you alright? You look like you have seen a ghost," he asked concerned.
"I think I did," he replied, composing himself.
Stefan was about to ask him to explain, but he slapped him on the shoulder. "Tonight was a good idea, little brother," he said. "I feel closer to Elena than I have for a while and I have gained some much needed perspective."
"You gained perspective?" Stefan asked confused. "Damon, did you sneak bourbon in?"
"Actually, I am thinking clearer than I have in months," he replied. "And I have a task for you."
Stefan lifted his brow and Damon continued; "I am going to rebuild the Gilbert house and you are going to help me."
"Where did this idea come from?" Stefan asked surprised.
Damon grinned as he answered; "Let's just say that I needed a little reminding that Elena is coming back. I just thought it would be something familiar for her to come back to, in addition to keeping me busy and focused on the future."
"Sure, I think it's a great idea," Stefan agreed. "Caroline is probably wondering where I am…are you going to be okay?"
"I will be fine," Damon waved him off. "Go dance with your girl."
He watched as his brother went back inside, and then turned his gaze to the stars. He had no idea if he had indeed been visited by Elena or if it had been his mind playing tricks on him but whatever it was, it has made him feel stronger. He had needed to be reminded that when Bonnie dies, his hell would end. He was no fool though, he knew that the years waiting for him would not be easy, but he would find solace in the idea of seeing Elena again. Holding her, dancing with her, kissing her. Taking in a deep breath, he felt some of the pain lift as a ray of light broke through his darkness. Yes, he would rebuild Elena's home. The thought made him smile in anticipation of seeing her reaction. A drop of water fell on his face and his smile broadened as it started to rain.