Hi everyone! Here is my new story, and I think it will last quite long :) It is a Kili/OC fanfiction, which takes place after the Battle of the Five Armies. You will know what happened to Thorïn, Kili, Fili and all the others in this first chapter.

As I said in my first two One-Shots, English is not my native language, so please, excuse me if you see any mistakes in this chapter (and the ones after).

Rating: T for now

Disclaimer: I am not Tolkien or Peter Jackson, and I do not own anything, except my OC. I do not earn any money with this work.

And now, I am letting you read this first chapter! :)

Chapter 1: The awakening

When Kili awoke, he immediately started to panic. The last thing he remembered was... It was the battle! It was Fíli being brought down by some Orcs, and his Uncle lying on the floor, unconscious!

He tried to sit up, but fell back on the mattress. There was so much pain... He couldn't move, he couldn't even think clearly. And when he spoke, his voice was hoarse and hesitant, "F-Fili?" No answer came to him. Where was his brother? He was sure he was... No, actually, he wasn't sure Fíli was alive. Since he had woken up, he had felt weird, like he was... empty.

"Fili?" he called again. "Brother?"

"Master Dwarf, calm down." The voice was feminine, and he tried to look at the woman who had just spoken. He could easily see her wavy blonde hair, and her... pointy ears? Had he seen well?

"Elf?" he murmured.

"Well, yes, Master Dwarf. Your friends, the other members of your Company, asked for the best healer of Mirkwood. They apparently did not want you to die."

"Why an elf healer? Why not a healer from the men?"

She didn't answer him, and he tried to gather more information. "Fili?" This time, he wasn't calling for his brother, he just wanted to know if...

The she-elf turned away from him, very elusive.

"Please, answer me. Fili... Is he...?" He couldn't even finish his question.

"You should rest, Master Dwarf."

"Answer me!" he suddenly shouted, and he saw the elf shudder. He normally didn't act like that, and he was almost feeling sorry for screaming at her like this, but he desperately wanted to know. Did he feel that empty because his brother was... dead?

"I will answer to you when I am sure you will not overreact."

"He is dead, am I right? And Thorïn was not unconscious either, he..."

Tears suddenly filled his eyes. He felt like his heart was burning.

"Leave me alone," he begged. He was trying to contain his sobs, but the more he tried, the more he felt like he was dying on the inside.

"As you wish, Master Dwarf," the elf responded.

He didn't even notice the slight frown on her face, because tears were already streaming down his cheeks. He was alone... His brother had promised him he would always stay with him, he told him he would protect him as long as he could. And he couldn't anymore. Neither could his Uncle. He...

"Do you want me to bring your mother here?"

He looked at the she-elf, trying to stop crying. His mother? Was she really here? He nodded. It might be selfish, but he needed someone to share his grief.

"She will be here soon," the elf slightly smiled. And then she exited the room, leaving him on his own. He didn't know, in the end, if he prefered when she was still in the room. Her light was comforting.

He looked at the ceiling, waiting for his mother. No, the ceiling was too dark to be stared at. He was supposed to like darkness, he lived all his life in the Ered Luin, but it wasn't the same. In his former home, he still had his brother and his Uncle by his side, and... No, he should not think of them, he tried to reason himself.

He tried to lift his hand up to his face, but pain suddenly arose from his chest. All right, he was still hurting. He had realized that before, but his brief conversation with the elf had troubled him a lot. And he had even forgotten to ask her since when he had been asleep.

The door opened, and he saw his mother entering the room.

"Amad," he said, his voice so sad that Dis instantly came towards him.

She had promised the she-elf (Aredhel, if she remembered well) to spare him, but she couldn't just leave him alone in his despair.

"I know, Kili." And indeed, she knew. She had spent the last months worrying about her sons, hoping that they would come back to her, and when she received the raven asking her to come to Erebor, her heart had briefly stopped. They had succeeded! Her brother and her sons, and the other members of their Company, had taken back Erebor from Smaug the Terrible! She hadn't thought about it twice and she had just ridden to their reclaimed kingdom. And she had discovered the terrible truth: yes, they had succeeded, but at such a terrible price... Her brother and her eldest son had died protecting each other. And Kili... Well, even the she-elf who was taking care of him couldn't tell if he would finally wake up one day.

She actually felt horrible right now: she was so relieved that her yougest son had not died, so relieved that she briefly forgot about the deaths of Fili and Thorïn. And she told him, "I feel so bad too..."

Kili looked at the door, checking if the elf was still there. He didn't want to cry in front of her anymore. He had already done that, and... He wasn't sure he should have.

"They are dead." His statement was almost too calm. He didn't want the silence to keep going, but he didn't want to express his despair either. His mother was sad enough, without him crying.

"You have the right to cry, my son. I did it myself. A lot."

"I do not want to overwhelm you with my pain, Amad. You have already suffered enough."

"Kili... Do not worry about me. You just woke up, you are still hurting, I can see it in your eyes, and you discovered your brother and your Uncle died. You have the right to cry. Aredhel, the elf who was watching after you, told me you did already, but please, my son, do it again if it can help you overcoming your pain."

Those words, and the tenderness in which they were spoken, seemed to sadden the young dwarf even more. Tears suddenly filled his eyes again, and he finally let them streaming down his face. And he felt like he cound never stop crying again. His mother gently put her hand on his shoulder, and he didn't move. He didn't even feel the physical pain anymore, the only one that burned inside him was the one caused by the loss of Fili and Thorïn.

He actually stopped sobbing after a few minutes. He felt so weak and dizzy, and the pain coming from his wounds started to overwhelm him again.

"Amad," he called out in an almost inaudible voice. "My wounds... are they healed?"

"Aredhel told me it would take time before they stop hurting. You have already been asleep for a month, but you will have to wait before you can even stand up." She paused, before asking him, "Do you remember what happened to you, my dashshat?"

He took a deep breath, trying to relax his features and to forget the pain, before answering, "I remember... I remember the battle. I remember... Fili falling on the ground, besides Uncle's unmoving body. I remember the pain in my chest, and... that is all I can think about."

Talking about his pain, and therefore thinking about it, only made it worse. His breath was now shorter and shorter, even if he was trying to hide it.

"Kili..." his mother deplored. "I am sorry. I should not ask questions like this, not after everything you have been through. You should try to sleep," she added, brushing his cheek with her fingers. He thus noticed that his cheeks were maybe the only part of his body that did not hurt that much.

He closed his eyes, obeying his mother. He knew he most likely wouldn't sleep well, but he was so tired he didn't really care.

When he opened his eyes again, he didn't remember anything of what happened during that long night. No nightmares had disturbed him during his long time of sleep. And that perturbed him even more. Of course, he hadn't wished to have nightmares, but he just lost two members of his family, so it just seemed normal that he would dream of them...

"Master Dwarf, you are already awake," the she-elf (Aredhel, he remembered) stated.

He didn't answer, because she didn't need him to.

"You seem to have slept well," she continued. When she saw him frown, she quickly added, "That is a good thing. You will heal faster."

He didn't look like he was glad to do so, she realized. She then took a seat beside his bed and told him, "I know how you feel, Master Dwarf."

"You do?" he sadly grinned.

"Yes. And I know that a part of you wishes you could just... give up, but you must not listen to that voice. Your people need you."

"My... people?" he stammered, looking bewildered.

She saw the precise moment when he understood what she meant. He tried to shake his head, but groaned painfully. He finally declared, "I will not take the crown of Erebor."

She paused before answering him, "The time has not yet come to talk about this, Master Dwarf."

"You started this discussion, my Lady, and I will not let you end it!"

She tried to get up, but his hand suddenly caught her wrist. She heard him scream in pain, and his hold on her arm abruptly loosened. She turned towards him, seeing his eyes slidding shut.

"Master Dwarf?" she called after him. "Kili?!" He still didn't answer and stayed unconscious.

She searched for a pulse, and was greatly reassured when she found one. Otherwise, what would she have told Dis and the dwarves to explain his death?

She sat down next to him and took his hand in hers. This was not the only reason why she didn't want him to die. She wasn't really afraid of the Company. But the long month she had spent in Erebor, taking care of the young dwarf, had changed her. She was not like the other elves anymore; she was not disgusted when she saw a dwarf or a dwarrowdam around her. Even if they didn't like her, and she was quite sure of this, they didn't show it. They paid her some respect for what she was doing for their future King.

"I heard ye screaming his name, Lady Aredhel," a voice suddenly came from behind her.

She turned towards the dwarf who had just spoken to her, and discovered the one she knew was Dwalïn.

"I think I just did a mistake, Master Dwalïn," she finally explained. "I told him that he would have to take the crown of Erebor."

"He will. But first he has to grieve."

"You do not have that time, and everyone here knows it. Soon, the armies of Orcs my King has seen while returning to Mirkwood will be there. You have no time, you must take a king now."

"But he cannot rule," the dwarf stated. "Not when he is hurting. Not when he thinks his Uncle or his brother should have been King instead."

"That is why I am asking you to change his mind. I know it will not be easy, but you need it."

"And what about his wounds? He cannot be crowned on a bed."

"I will take care of his wounds, do not worry about that, Master Dwarf."

They just exchanged one more look before the she-elf left the room, leaving the dwarf to watch for the heir of Durin.

"Kili?" the young dwarf suddenly heard. It wasn't Aredhel who was calling for him, but he also knew this voice.

He opened his eyes and discovered his wounds didn't hurt as much as before. Everything was still blurry, but he saw Dwalïn sitting down on a chair next to his bed. He tried to speak, but he couldn't.

"Don't try to speak, my friend," the dwarf said. "Lady Aredhel told us ye wouldn't be able to. Do you feel better now? Physically, I mean?"

The warrior was right to add this question. He hadn't forgotten what had happened to Fili and Thorïn, and he was still mourning their deaths. But physically speaking, he did feel better. He didn't know what the elf had done, but it was effective. So he nodded briefly, without feeling any pain.

"Do you remember what the she-elf told you?" the bald dwarf continued.

He frowned again, but he immediately tried to relax his features. Not because of the pain, but because he knew that Dwalïn only wanted to help. He was also pretty sure the elf meant no harm by telling him about the crown of his kingdom. He finally nodded in response to the imposing warrior's question.

"She told me ye hadn't been convinced by her words."

And she probably wanted Dwalïn to convince him. She didn't know him if she thought...

He suddenly saw the dwarf heading towards the door. What was he doing?! He felt his heart clench with fear. He didn't want to be alone. He would think about the death of his beloved brother and Uncle again, and...

"You know you will have to say yes, Kili. When you are healed, you will take the crown of Erebor."

He shook his head again. No, he would never dare to accept the crown of the newly reclaimed kingdom. His Uncle was the one who was meant to be its king, not him, not even Fili! And his brother was the rightful heir of Durin, not him...

When the door closed behind Dwalïn, he tried to move a little. Hunger... He hadn't felt it before, but it was definitely there. He lifted his hands up to his head, feeling the fabric of a bandage around it. A line appeared on his forehead. He didn't think he had been wounded there!

"Do not touch your bandage, Master Dwarf," a voice suddenly came from the door.

The she-elf... She was there, with food! He didn't know he could be that grateful.

"I think you are quite hungry, Mas-"

"Kili," he interrupted her, trying to speak once more, and succeeding this time. She had saved his life, she had brought him food when it felt like he was starving, so it just seemed natural to him that she had the right to call him by his name.

"All right," she smiled, approaching the bed. "You must be quite hungry, Kili, so here is some food for you."

She let him eat, while she was going back and forth into the room. Quite a beautiful room, he noticed as he observed his surroundings. When he finally finished eating, he realized something. He should probably apologize for being that impolite with her.

"I am sorry," he told her in a soft tone.

She looked at him, seemingly surprised.

"For what?" she finally asked.

"For treating you like... I did. It wasn't... fair. And I am sorry."

She tilted her head slightly. "You are a dwarf, I am an elf. You are not supposed to feel sorry for me."

If it didn't hurt that much, he would have laughed. She still believed in these stupid prejudices!

"I do not feel sorry... for you, I am sorry for... what I did to you. It is not the same thing, Lady Aredhel. And you saved me. You did not deserve my mistreatment."

"I have known worse, Ma- Kili."

"What do you mean?" And there he was, frowning again.

"Are you really expecting me to tell you my story when we barely know each other, Master Dwarf?"

He didn't even bother telling her that she shouldn't call him that way anymore. She might be right, he thought. He didn't know her, but... She had still saved his life, healed his wounds, and he owed her some respect for this.

"No," he finally replied. They both stayed quiet for a moment, before he asked again, "My wounds do not hurt anymore. Is it because of something you did?"

"Probably." She didn't continue, and he wasn't really expecting her to. That's why he was quite astonished when she added, "I, on the other hand, feel sorry for you."

His expression darkened. He was perfectly aware of what she was speaking of, and that didn't please him. He didn't want to think about them, not when he was having a calm discussion with her. A discussion that, until now, kept his dark thoughts locked at bay.

"Do not," he snapped back, his tone a little sharper than what he intended.

"Fine. I will let you sleep again then, Master Dwarf."

And she left the room, before he could even think of the words to hold her back.

Translation:

amad = mother (Khuzdul)

dashshat = son (Khuzdul)

Okay, I might be quite cruel with Kili!

Please, tell me what you thought of this chapter, and of my OC, Aredhel. :) And don't hesitate to tell me if there are any mistakes in this first chapter.

See you next week for another chapter!