CHARACTERS ARE NOT MINE. ALL RIGHTS GO TO THE ORIGINAL OWNER
warnings:
Scars, Ptsd, panic attacks, claustrophobic, afraid of fire, social anxiety, depression, self harm, gore, etc...
Ciel: 15
Sophomore in high school.
Sebastian: 17
Ciel's friend Senior in high school
Grell: eccentric drama teacher.
Alois: 14 (freshman)
Claude: 17 (senior)
Tanaka: Takes care of Ciel in his time off from his new job. (Weekends)
Undertaker: Don't know his real name. Ciel's creepy neighbor.
Chapter 1
Ciel Pov.
I cower in the corner of my small cage. My blue/grey hair covering my bright cobalt blue eyes. The screams of my former cellmate echo in the circular room emanating from the table in the middle dripping with blood creating a puddle of red on the floor.
Then suddenly the screams stop and I breath a sigh of relief until I realize what this means. I look up.
"No… no no no. No!" I let out a blood curdling scream as a middle aged man hands dripping with blood rips my nearly starved body out the small cage.
Dragging me to the center of the room I am bound to the middle of the stone table still warm with the other girls blood.
No. Please, no. Anything but this.
I try to scream but when I open my mouth I am choked by a thick metallic tasting liquid. Then suddenly I feel it. Excruciating pain coming from my eye. Blood leaks into my other eye and I am temporarily blinded by red.
The pain starts up again with another cut to the same eye. Through the pain I hear the man with the knife "Demon child! You deserve this! It is for your own good for all of your goods".
When he finally stopped the knife I let go of the breath I didn't know I was holding. Then the pain starts up again when he takes a wet cloth to my eye cleaning the blood off my face.
He slowly wraps my head with a white bandage stopping the blood flow. With the same slow and deliberate movement he cleans the table of blood. Then as if in a daze he takes the knife and slowly cuts open my shirt pulling out from under me.
When he grabs the red hot branding rod out of the flame I start to hyperventilate knowing what is about to come, and when it does I let out another piercing scream.
"Ciel! Wake up! It's just a dream" hearing the voice I quickly sit up and violently rub the tears from my eyes. Voice... wait that's right Sebastian. I'm at Sebastian's house. We were doing homework and I fell asleep.
"Ciel? Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it" Sebastian coo's in a quiet voice. "No. I'm fine. You're right. It was just a dream" I try to say nonchalantly hoping the tremor in my voice didn't show through. As casually as I can in the circumstances I feel for my eye patch to make sure it didn't slip at all during the night. I lied it wasn't just a dream. It was a memory.
Finally looking Sebastian in the eyes I realize how worried his expression is. I give what I think is a small reassuring smile and I see him relax a little.
"What time is it?" I ask trying to change the topic.
"8:30 I was about to come in here to wake you up for breakfast when I heard you screaming" he said giving me another worried look.
"I'm fine" I say giving him a pointed expression "let's go eat breakfast. Okay?" swinging my legs over the side of the bed, and making sure to fix my shirt to cover the branding scar on my torso.
"So what's for breakfast?" I ask Sebastian making my way towards the kitchen. "Wait, that smell. Is that Earl Grey? I haven't had that since I lived in my family's manor" I say excitedly.
"My young lord, your sense of smell never ceases to amaze me" he says offer me a chair with a flourish. Sebastian keeping up his image as a butler bows and holds out a plate. " For today's breakfast we have a chocolate raspberry scone with Caramel and nuts on the side, and a cup of dark grey tea with a single spoonful of sugar and no cream" placing it all in front of me he then takes his own seat directly next to me.
"Are you god?" I ask amused. "No my lord, I am merely one Hell of a butler" laughing I take a bite of the scone he place in front of me and nearly moaned. "You know Sebastian if you don't get your dream job you really could be one hell of a butler".
Finished with breakfast Sebastian and I start walking to the hellhole we call school. It's about a ten minute walk, not to mention we got a late start. So we are probably going to be late. However neither of us hurry. The later we are the better.
"Ciel!" a high pitched voice screeches. I quickly turn around to see a blonde and pink blur. "Lizzy?" is the only word I can get out before I am tackled to the ground by the girl in pigtails.
"Lizzy! What are you doing here get off" I yell trying to push her off of me, but sadly she taller than me and much stronger.
"But Ciel! I haven't seen you in ages I was so worried" She whined still holding me in a death grip. I look to Sebastian for help but all i get is that signature smirk in return.
"Elizabeth, get off me this instant!" however I instantly regret raising my voice when the tears start welling up in her eyes.
"Lady Elizabeth. It is not proper to be rolling around on the ground on top of another" Sebastian say taking her hand and pulling her up with a kind smile.
"Oh, right… of course. I'm sorry. I just got so excited when I saw Ciel I forgot myself" Lizzy said in a much less obnoxious voice.
"Lizzy, what are you doing here anyways. Don't you have a tutor at home" I ask hope she isn't going to say she transferred. "Yes… but I ran away because Mother wouldn't let me go to school here" she pouted.
"Lizzy, your mother is going to be furious with me. You can't just run away from home because something doesn't go your way". She is not going to respond well to that.
"What do you know! You get to do whatever you want and nobody ever tells you no! You don't even have any parents" Lizzy yells, but after realising what she said she clasped her hand over her mouth and ran away.
It hurts. "Mama, papa! Where are you?" why is everything so red and hot? I can't breathe. Please it hurts. Somebody help me...
Snap out of it Ciel you're okay. It's not hot you're going to be okay.
Large hands wrap around my waist "Papa?" something is covering my mouth I can't breathe. I'm so sleepy… papa help me… i'm scared…
Ciel! Breathe the scary man isn't here anymore. You're okay he's gone. Breathe. Why can't I breathe!
It's so bright. Why does it hurt. Mama! Papa! Where am I? Why am i in a cage, please I don't want to hurt anymore! No don't come near me don't hurt me!
"No, no, no, please stop" Ciel you're okay it's just a flashback it's not happening. "it's not real. It's not real"
It hurt so much. Please don't hit me again. "Hello demon child. How have you been liking your stay so far? Is it not satisfactory? Does it hurt? I can make the pain go away if you want. Just a little bit of pain and then everything's all gone. Do you want that" the scary man asks. "Yes… please make the pain stop" I want it to stop, please. I don't want to hurt any more.
"To bad. Demon children have to suffer. You don't get to die" He says. After that he gives me three hard blows to the stomach. "No! Please make it stop! I want to die" blood why am I bleeding…
"Ciel!" Sebastian? Is that you? "Ciel. It's okay. You're okay" what are you talking about Sebastian? Of course I'm not okay. It hurts.
"Sebastian… why does it hurt" open your eyes Ciel you're okay. The bad people are gone. They are not going to hurt you anymore.
When I open my eyes all I see is red. I quickly close them again. No it isn't fire. Your not hot look again. Opening my eyes the second time I still see the red but this time I realize it is a pair of eyes. Sebastian.
Wait… Sebastian!
I throw myself backwards "too close! What are you doing" I yell. Please don't ask… "What am I doing? One sec you're talking to Lizzy. Next she yell storms off and then you're on the ground curled up in a ball muttering nonsense! What the hell just happened". No, no, no… please stop talking I can't do this right now Sebastian! Run, run , run… you can't do this right now get away!
So I do. I run as fast as I can away from the place Lizzy pounced on me, away from the place I had a panic attack, and away from Sebastian the only person in my life that wants to listen, but I don't want to speak. "Ciel! Where are you going" Sebastian yells after me.
Tears are falling down my cheeks. Don't let anyone see. No one needs to know it hurts. I start running faster, and soon I reach the bathroom thankfully no one is in here because it is between classes.
I hunch down under the sinks. I'm quite short so I fit without a problem. The tears won't stop falling. My scared eye hurts so I rip the eye patch off frustrated at myself for being so pathetic.
Getting out from under the sinks I look into the mirror. My eye patch still in the ground I see my scar for the first time since the incident. A pentagram. The mark of a demon permanently etched into my skin.
"Demon child!"
"I'm not a demon" I'm not. I'm not.
My blade. I'll be okay if I have my blade. Grasping for the knife in my pocket. I clench the sharp object in my hand and roll my sleeve up to reveal rows of self inflicted scars am the way up my arm.
I make sure to grab a handful of towels to stop the bleeding if I go to deep, and then place my arm over the skin and make the first cut…
Sebastian pov.
"What just happened" I say aloud. I'm staring at Ciel shaking body. He just collapsed to the ground as Lizzy ran away with her hand over her mouth. What did she say to his to make him like this?
"No, no ,no…" Ciel mutters quietly. I pace a few times then lean over him to brush his hair out of his face. He flinches when I do this so instead I call out his name "Ciel! Ciel. It's okay. You're okay" I call out. I lean a little closer and wipe the tears from his uncovered eye.
"Sebastian… why does it hurt" Ciel murmurs. Hurt? Did he hurt himself when he fell? I lean closer to make sure he isn't bleeding when he opens his eyes. However as quickly as he opened them he closed them and starts hyperventilating. Not wanting to scare him I lean away slowly but not so much that he would sense the movement.
When he opens his eyes again I forget to lean away. His eye is really blue and the eyelashes are really long especially for a guy. I don't really get to stare for that long because soon he freaks out and backs away.
"To close! What are you doing" he tells getting away as quickly as possible. He looks so scared… what did Lizzy say to him.
"What am I doing? One sec you're talking to Lizzy. Next she yell storms off and then you're on the ground curled up in a ball muttering nonsense! What the hell just happened" I shouldn't have yelled. I don't even know what's wrong I shouldn't have yelled…
He's running. Why is he running? "Ciel? Where are you going" I call after him. Is he crying?
Should i go after him? Before that i should probably find Lizzy… Ciel can handle himself right?
"Lizzy!" I call out. Where is that she? "S-sebastian?" Lizzy sniffs. "Lizzy, thank goodness I found you. I need you to get home, okay? I'm going to bring you to the principal's office so they can call your parents" I say quietly trying to make her see reason.
"Okay, wait before I go. Ciel isn't mad at me right? I said something awful and I can't forgive myself until I know he is okay. You know where he is right" Lizzie asks. "Yeah, he's fine. Let's go okay" That's a lie but right now i have to get Lizzy home. Ciel would kill me if anything happened to her.
Ciel pov.
Blood is slowly seeping from my arm. It took 12 cuts this time to stop the panic attacks. I breathe a sigh of relief once I get the blood to stop flowing. Thankfully I remembered I stashed a first aid kit in here last time i did this at school.
Quickly pulling my sleeve down I look at my face in the mirror. Still as disgusting as ever. A baby face tainted by a swollen mutilated eye that is now a milky purple/grey color with a tinge of red. My other eye isn't very attractive either red and swollen from crying and a dull blue iris.
I rinse the dried tears off my face and grab my eye patch off the floor and tie the knot behind my head concealing the scar from view. I make sure to cover the selfharm scars and the new cuts with the oversized sweater I took from Sebastian a while back. Fix my hair to make myself presentable enough to walk out and face hell once more.
This is my first fanfiction ever! I hope you like it :) I don't really know how to work the system yet so if anyone has any tips I would be glad for the advice.