Hip-hip Yu-ey!
DISCLAIMER: I do now own the CCS characters depicted but the more I write about them the more I manage to convince myself I do…
Chapter 1 - Insanity Ensues…R.I.P Polish.
It was minutes before midnight and the evil overlord of this tale (- sorry DrM, the position has been filled-) sat in a deformed chair comprising the characteristics of a sofa, a swivel chair, a rocking chair and a saddle, so created because the person sitting in it could never make up his mind and though the blasted creation was about as comfortable as sitting on jagged rocks and seashells it's owner considered it his duty to grin and bare it…as if he would ever admit to getting it wrong!
One thing he did indulge himself in was the occasional often destructive, maniacally scary, definitively spooky but completely harmless moments of madness and Eriol had decided he was long overdue for this favourite past- time, not to mention the imminent event he'd just been reminded of being totally hilarious.
The reincarnation began to shake with the onset of his blessed dementia and before he became insensible he adopted the age old pose handed down to him from a long line of nut-cases, from Ursula the Sea-Witch to King George, from Rocky in the final film after a few head slammings to Jim Carey in 'Me, Myself & Irene' (order uncertain and existence of each individual even more so) and finally (of perhaps previously) to Clow. Eriol frowned as he tried to recall where he had been going with this mental rant; this sort of sidetracking happened a lot…Ah yes. The evil overlord pose consisted of a body turned slightly more in one direction, his shoulders not entirely level and in fact one arm may have been made of lead, although many were more inclined to believe he was holding a machete, slender fingers were steepled so that his faintly delirious eyes peered over the fleshy pyramid in a satisfyingly creepy way and finally he set his right cheek a' twitching. Excellent…now where was I? Only one thing left to do now.
"Mwahahaa...haha…" That's it; let it all out my son. "HAHAHAHAHAAA!"
From her cross-legged position on her bed up one level from her bizarre master Ruby Moon ignored the sound as best she good and continued painting her nails with pain-staking concentration even as the volume increased. I am as still and as steady as a rock, surrounded by calm cool waters…she repeated. A steady hand meant perfect nails, perfect nails meant perfect toes, perfect toes meant perfect feet and her feet just had to be perfect to go with the rest of her perfect self. Steady, continuous, fixed, firm, stable, secure, immovable, her fuscia eyes watched in shock and horror as the pink line of paint smudged a fraction of a millimetre before she release an anguished, keening cry,
"Noooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!" It can't be! Damn you, come back to me, stabilize! Stat! I am unwavering, undeviating, unvarying, unfaltering and-and all the other Un-ing's! But sadly, as the writer of this tale I must report…Ruby's stroke of varnish was beyond repair, R.I.P 14ml Maybelline Rose, issue number 207, flammable and containing extracts of acrylic and nylon hardener…you'll live in our hearts.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" The Moon Guardian was inconsolable, it was her duty to look good at all times, she had failed.
At that moment her brother Spinel Sun arrived on the crime scene. He slid to a halt ending up on his haunches in the bright haired butterflies arms as she sobbed into his velvety neck. He'd transformed into his false from to better protect his polar opposite from whatever danger threatened her.
"It's over, all over!" She wept. This would mean nail polish remover which would mean fumes that would remain in her perfect hair and on her perfect skin, the ramifications of this atrocity were unending!
"What evil is upon us sister of mine?"
From downstairs the manic laughter continued. "Mwahahaha." The bereaved glared at the offending floor.
"It's the master Suppi, something must be done before more innocence is lost." She sniffed. God only knew what could have happened if she'd still been doing her fingernails, she shuddered at the thought; such massacre was without parallel in the history of the celestial realm not to mention hair and makeup.
Proceeding swiftly down the winding stairs the winged girl came to an abrupt halt outside her master's chamber before she knocked politely.
"Ahhahah-come-hahahah-in." He called. She looked down at Spinel Sun who gave her a blatant 'I-don't-care-if-it's-a-genuine-apocalypse-I'm-not-going- near-that- guy-when-he's-in-this-mood' look.
"Coward" Ruby mouthed as she inched timidly inside the door. She groaned when she saw that her master was in 'the pose' and the contorted figure continued laughing.
"Mwahahahahahahahaahahah."
*Five minutes later*
"Ahahahahahaahahaha."
*Ten minutes later*
"HAHAHAHAAHAHAAHA!" Rather than abating it was growing worse.
*Fifteen minutes later*
"HAHAHA-."
"Master?"
He paused mid cackle as his butterfly Guardian dared to interrupt his all- important good humour.
Ruby shifted her weigh from one foot to the other as she stood under the boy's narrow eyed glare. She opened her mouth to speak several times before wisely and cautiously walking backward out of the room. Leaning against the frame she released a loud breath.
"Well?" her brother asked impatiently.
"Well what?"
"Did you tell him?"
"Tell him what?"
"Whatever it was you screamed about!"
"Oh, he's much too busy…"
"Mwahahahah." Very busy indeed.
Spinel Sun puffed his chest. "Must I do everything!" he muttered before beginning to push the door open with his paw.
"Don't go in there!" She cried dramatically, Seizing his scruff in her fist and stumbling as the animal sought to drag her with him. She let go just in time and remained outside as the door swung closed.
The panther stealthily approached the half-crying figure. It didn't appear that Eriol had noticed his entrance but as soon as he opened his mouth the lavender eyes shot open.
"Master I-."
"Spinel Sun!" An unnaturally deep voice boomed. "Can't you see I'm busy?"
Well actually no he couldn't see. "B-busy?" he stuttered.
Eriol sighed and rolled his eyes before speaking to the furred creature as though to a child. "I am having a 'moment'."
Suppi nodded as immediate comprehension dawned, a mad moment, a serious time of contemplation for his master. Most of Eriol's good/evil ideas came from moments such as this.
"I understand," he replied gravely and turned to leave.
"Hhahahahahahahaha."
He turned to face Ruby's expectant face and cleared his throat a little awkwardly. "The master is having a 'moment'…"
"A mad moment?"
The big cat rolled his eyes in the same manner as Eriol just had. "Is there another kind that afflicts him thus?"
Ruby looked at him blankly, Suppi groaned and mentally reminded himself *for future reference use common slang and modern word formations of no more than one syllable*.
"A mad moment?" She questioned again.
He tried once more this time hunching his powerful shoulders in a shrug and raising his paws in the universally helpless gesture while speaking the one word that that both applied to and seemed to be uniquely understandable to his sister. "Duh!"
"Oh you're right, silly me!"
"Mwahahahahahaha."
Both Guardians cleared their throats nervously, they knew the drill. Ruby returned to her room and turned her stereo on whilst watching television and blow-drying her already dry hair. Spinel Sun removed himself to the library. Eriol was he master, it was his duty to respect his wishes and so like a good little Guardian he buried his head determinedly in a book, no metaphor intended, the black panther's action was done literally…no pun intended either.
Roughly half an hour later both Ruby and Suppi heard a voice in their heads. *The moment has ended now, you may bring whatever matter you wanted to discuss to me*
Suppi and returned to his borrowed form so that rather than just covering his head with a book he had managed to erect a little temple out of a thesaurus and something entitled 'The Kama Sutra For Magical Beings.' The latter must have been around in Clow's day because he was sure the lengthy annotations in the margins were in Yue's hand but the elegant style was too archaic even for him to make out. He was prevented from investigating this new find further when he heard Eriol's voice in his mind and he exited his makeshift hut to answer the command. On his way he encountered a decidedly wind-blown Ruby as she wiped a sheen of sweat off of her brow.
"Now then," said the robed boy as they entered his study once more. "What did you want to say to me?"
Suppi gestured toward the now pouting butterfly with the trembling wings.
"What is Flutters?" Eriol urged gently, using her latest nickname.
Ruby lifted a bare food despondently, head turned so as not to look upon the savaged remains of her perfect toenail.
"Y-y-you made me ruin my nails!"
Now, one would have expected the Sun Guardian to sneer at this and berate his sister for worrying him over nothing but having been together for…a *while* he understood the pain such a loss would cause.
"Oh Ruby!" he gasped. "I'm so sorry."
"I too am grieved by this news my sweet." Eriol added sincerely.
The sniffles returned. " It's *sniff* done now, *sniff* I'll get over it *sniff* It just going to take time." A nauseatingly extended sniff followed this.
Eriol nodded gravely. "I understand. I wish I could make it up to you." Ruby found the idea deeply blasphemous, how the hell do you make up for something for that?
"But you see I have just received one of Clow Reed's rather more entertaining memories." Her master continued. The eyes of both his creations focused on him with some interest. "Concerning Yue…" he continued. The interest from both parties became razor sharp.
"Tell us master!" The pair demanded simultaneously.
"I shall indeed." Eriol nodded. "But telepathically for the walls have ears." and so do my readers!
There was silence for a time as the reincarnation silently communicated the revelation. He watched keenly as realisation and delight dawned on one human and one feline face for no apparent reason.
Gazing raptly at their responses Eriol leaned back with the superiority of world rulers, leading politicians who think they are world rulers and the totally insane who think they are both. There are no prizes for guessing which category this chap falls under…
"Master" Ruby breathed. "I forgive you."
Eriol nodded graciously. "I thought you'd see things my way. Come Spinel Sun and Ruby Moon, you two must join me in the rejoiceful laughter at my soul's continued evil throughout-." He paused in the midst of his booming rant. "How many decades is it now Suppi?."
Conjuring an eyeglass and a calculator the creature employed his claws most efficiently on the buttons before looking back at the blue haired boy.
"I calculate it as approximately three hundred and 44 days 6 months 17 hours, 37 minutes and 23 no- 24 seconds, not including the apocalyptic hoax and the fifteen years the planets inhabitants were enslaved by Sigourney Weaver -sorry, aliens."
"I remember that, delightfully amusing episode…" He blinked suddenly. "I say Suppi, do the people know that they were-" He looked around the room suspiciously sensing someone's attention on him. "P-O-S-S-E-S-S-E-D?" He whispered, spelling out the word.
"No master, my thinking is we should keep it quiet. I don't know about everyone else but the idea of slimy thingy-ma-bobbies gestating in my stomach just…" he finished the sentence with a shudder.
"Yes, quite." He pursed his lip. "Now where was I?"
"The 'rejoiceful laughter'?" Ruby prompted.
"Indeed. LET US LAUGH MY GUARDIANS!"
Despite initial difficulties with the searing pitch of Ruby's laughter and the fact that seldom used vocal cords dislodged a hairball big enough to choke a T-Rex in Suppi's throat the three eventually attained a perfect symphony of crazed sniggers, chuckles, chortles, guffaw's, titters and side splitting before the convulsion opera ended in a heap. It was after all an extremely amusing revelation to them all.
"Enjoy you're birthday Yue…"
* This is going to be good! You'll love what this story is going to be about, it's a little different and I'm not telling you anymore. Please review even if it's only to tell me how cruel I am.
DISCLAIMER: I do now own the CCS characters depicted but the more I write about them the more I manage to convince myself I do…
Chapter 1 - Insanity Ensues…R.I.P Polish.
It was minutes before midnight and the evil overlord of this tale (- sorry DrM, the position has been filled-) sat in a deformed chair comprising the characteristics of a sofa, a swivel chair, a rocking chair and a saddle, so created because the person sitting in it could never make up his mind and though the blasted creation was about as comfortable as sitting on jagged rocks and seashells it's owner considered it his duty to grin and bare it…as if he would ever admit to getting it wrong!
One thing he did indulge himself in was the occasional often destructive, maniacally scary, definitively spooky but completely harmless moments of madness and Eriol had decided he was long overdue for this favourite past- time, not to mention the imminent event he'd just been reminded of being totally hilarious.
The reincarnation began to shake with the onset of his blessed dementia and before he became insensible he adopted the age old pose handed down to him from a long line of nut-cases, from Ursula the Sea-Witch to King George, from Rocky in the final film after a few head slammings to Jim Carey in 'Me, Myself & Irene' (order uncertain and existence of each individual even more so) and finally (of perhaps previously) to Clow. Eriol frowned as he tried to recall where he had been going with this mental rant; this sort of sidetracking happened a lot…Ah yes. The evil overlord pose consisted of a body turned slightly more in one direction, his shoulders not entirely level and in fact one arm may have been made of lead, although many were more inclined to believe he was holding a machete, slender fingers were steepled so that his faintly delirious eyes peered over the fleshy pyramid in a satisfyingly creepy way and finally he set his right cheek a' twitching. Excellent…now where was I? Only one thing left to do now.
"Mwahahaa...haha…" That's it; let it all out my son. "HAHAHAHAHAAA!"
From her cross-legged position on her bed up one level from her bizarre master Ruby Moon ignored the sound as best she good and continued painting her nails with pain-staking concentration even as the volume increased. I am as still and as steady as a rock, surrounded by calm cool waters…she repeated. A steady hand meant perfect nails, perfect nails meant perfect toes, perfect toes meant perfect feet and her feet just had to be perfect to go with the rest of her perfect self. Steady, continuous, fixed, firm, stable, secure, immovable, her fuscia eyes watched in shock and horror as the pink line of paint smudged a fraction of a millimetre before she release an anguished, keening cry,
"Noooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!" It can't be! Damn you, come back to me, stabilize! Stat! I am unwavering, undeviating, unvarying, unfaltering and-and all the other Un-ing's! But sadly, as the writer of this tale I must report…Ruby's stroke of varnish was beyond repair, R.I.P 14ml Maybelline Rose, issue number 207, flammable and containing extracts of acrylic and nylon hardener…you'll live in our hearts.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" The Moon Guardian was inconsolable, it was her duty to look good at all times, she had failed.
At that moment her brother Spinel Sun arrived on the crime scene. He slid to a halt ending up on his haunches in the bright haired butterflies arms as she sobbed into his velvety neck. He'd transformed into his false from to better protect his polar opposite from whatever danger threatened her.
"It's over, all over!" She wept. This would mean nail polish remover which would mean fumes that would remain in her perfect hair and on her perfect skin, the ramifications of this atrocity were unending!
"What evil is upon us sister of mine?"
From downstairs the manic laughter continued. "Mwahahaha." The bereaved glared at the offending floor.
"It's the master Suppi, something must be done before more innocence is lost." She sniffed. God only knew what could have happened if she'd still been doing her fingernails, she shuddered at the thought; such massacre was without parallel in the history of the celestial realm not to mention hair and makeup.
Proceeding swiftly down the winding stairs the winged girl came to an abrupt halt outside her master's chamber before she knocked politely.
"Ahhahah-come-hahahah-in." He called. She looked down at Spinel Sun who gave her a blatant 'I-don't-care-if-it's-a-genuine-apocalypse-I'm-not-going- near-that- guy-when-he's-in-this-mood' look.
"Coward" Ruby mouthed as she inched timidly inside the door. She groaned when she saw that her master was in 'the pose' and the contorted figure continued laughing.
"Mwahahahahahahahaahahah."
*Five minutes later*
"Ahahahahahaahahaha."
*Ten minutes later*
"HAHAHAHAAHAHAAHA!" Rather than abating it was growing worse.
*Fifteen minutes later*
"HAHAHA-."
"Master?"
He paused mid cackle as his butterfly Guardian dared to interrupt his all- important good humour.
Ruby shifted her weigh from one foot to the other as she stood under the boy's narrow eyed glare. She opened her mouth to speak several times before wisely and cautiously walking backward out of the room. Leaning against the frame she released a loud breath.
"Well?" her brother asked impatiently.
"Well what?"
"Did you tell him?"
"Tell him what?"
"Whatever it was you screamed about!"
"Oh, he's much too busy…"
"Mwahahahah." Very busy indeed.
Spinel Sun puffed his chest. "Must I do everything!" he muttered before beginning to push the door open with his paw.
"Don't go in there!" She cried dramatically, Seizing his scruff in her fist and stumbling as the animal sought to drag her with him. She let go just in time and remained outside as the door swung closed.
The panther stealthily approached the half-crying figure. It didn't appear that Eriol had noticed his entrance but as soon as he opened his mouth the lavender eyes shot open.
"Master I-."
"Spinel Sun!" An unnaturally deep voice boomed. "Can't you see I'm busy?"
Well actually no he couldn't see. "B-busy?" he stuttered.
Eriol sighed and rolled his eyes before speaking to the furred creature as though to a child. "I am having a 'moment'."
Suppi nodded as immediate comprehension dawned, a mad moment, a serious time of contemplation for his master. Most of Eriol's good/evil ideas came from moments such as this.
"I understand," he replied gravely and turned to leave.
"Hhahahahahahahaha."
He turned to face Ruby's expectant face and cleared his throat a little awkwardly. "The master is having a 'moment'…"
"A mad moment?"
The big cat rolled his eyes in the same manner as Eriol just had. "Is there another kind that afflicts him thus?"
Ruby looked at him blankly, Suppi groaned and mentally reminded himself *for future reference use common slang and modern word formations of no more than one syllable*.
"A mad moment?" She questioned again.
He tried once more this time hunching his powerful shoulders in a shrug and raising his paws in the universally helpless gesture while speaking the one word that that both applied to and seemed to be uniquely understandable to his sister. "Duh!"
"Oh you're right, silly me!"
"Mwahahahahahaha."
Both Guardians cleared their throats nervously, they knew the drill. Ruby returned to her room and turned her stereo on whilst watching television and blow-drying her already dry hair. Spinel Sun removed himself to the library. Eriol was he master, it was his duty to respect his wishes and so like a good little Guardian he buried his head determinedly in a book, no metaphor intended, the black panther's action was done literally…no pun intended either.
Roughly half an hour later both Ruby and Suppi heard a voice in their heads. *The moment has ended now, you may bring whatever matter you wanted to discuss to me*
Suppi and returned to his borrowed form so that rather than just covering his head with a book he had managed to erect a little temple out of a thesaurus and something entitled 'The Kama Sutra For Magical Beings.' The latter must have been around in Clow's day because he was sure the lengthy annotations in the margins were in Yue's hand but the elegant style was too archaic even for him to make out. He was prevented from investigating this new find further when he heard Eriol's voice in his mind and he exited his makeshift hut to answer the command. On his way he encountered a decidedly wind-blown Ruby as she wiped a sheen of sweat off of her brow.
"Now then," said the robed boy as they entered his study once more. "What did you want to say to me?"
Suppi gestured toward the now pouting butterfly with the trembling wings.
"What is Flutters?" Eriol urged gently, using her latest nickname.
Ruby lifted a bare food despondently, head turned so as not to look upon the savaged remains of her perfect toenail.
"Y-y-you made me ruin my nails!"
Now, one would have expected the Sun Guardian to sneer at this and berate his sister for worrying him over nothing but having been together for…a *while* he understood the pain such a loss would cause.
"Oh Ruby!" he gasped. "I'm so sorry."
"I too am grieved by this news my sweet." Eriol added sincerely.
The sniffles returned. " It's *sniff* done now, *sniff* I'll get over it *sniff* It just going to take time." A nauseatingly extended sniff followed this.
Eriol nodded gravely. "I understand. I wish I could make it up to you." Ruby found the idea deeply blasphemous, how the hell do you make up for something for that?
"But you see I have just received one of Clow Reed's rather more entertaining memories." Her master continued. The eyes of both his creations focused on him with some interest. "Concerning Yue…" he continued. The interest from both parties became razor sharp.
"Tell us master!" The pair demanded simultaneously.
"I shall indeed." Eriol nodded. "But telepathically for the walls have ears." and so do my readers!
There was silence for a time as the reincarnation silently communicated the revelation. He watched keenly as realisation and delight dawned on one human and one feline face for no apparent reason.
Gazing raptly at their responses Eriol leaned back with the superiority of world rulers, leading politicians who think they are world rulers and the totally insane who think they are both. There are no prizes for guessing which category this chap falls under…
"Master" Ruby breathed. "I forgive you."
Eriol nodded graciously. "I thought you'd see things my way. Come Spinel Sun and Ruby Moon, you two must join me in the rejoiceful laughter at my soul's continued evil throughout-." He paused in the midst of his booming rant. "How many decades is it now Suppi?."
Conjuring an eyeglass and a calculator the creature employed his claws most efficiently on the buttons before looking back at the blue haired boy.
"I calculate it as approximately three hundred and 44 days 6 months 17 hours, 37 minutes and 23 no- 24 seconds, not including the apocalyptic hoax and the fifteen years the planets inhabitants were enslaved by Sigourney Weaver -sorry, aliens."
"I remember that, delightfully amusing episode…" He blinked suddenly. "I say Suppi, do the people know that they were-" He looked around the room suspiciously sensing someone's attention on him. "P-O-S-S-E-S-S-E-D?" He whispered, spelling out the word.
"No master, my thinking is we should keep it quiet. I don't know about everyone else but the idea of slimy thingy-ma-bobbies gestating in my stomach just…" he finished the sentence with a shudder.
"Yes, quite." He pursed his lip. "Now where was I?"
"The 'rejoiceful laughter'?" Ruby prompted.
"Indeed. LET US LAUGH MY GUARDIANS!"
Despite initial difficulties with the searing pitch of Ruby's laughter and the fact that seldom used vocal cords dislodged a hairball big enough to choke a T-Rex in Suppi's throat the three eventually attained a perfect symphony of crazed sniggers, chuckles, chortles, guffaw's, titters and side splitting before the convulsion opera ended in a heap. It was after all an extremely amusing revelation to them all.
"Enjoy you're birthday Yue…"
* This is going to be good! You'll love what this story is going to be about, it's a little different and I'm not telling you anymore. Please review even if it's only to tell me how cruel I am.