Believer

Authors note: This is a crack pairing, which is why it isn't as well-written as I'd like it to be. But it does have some basis. This takes place in Twilight. Also, Leafpool stayed with Crowfeather for longer, and the badger attack was later as well. Bare with me.

He never could believe. It wasn't because he was formerly a kittypet, no, he was to young to even remember at that time. Nothing about it made sense. The mere idea, that good little kits who behaved themselves went to a wonderful place in the stars, was absurd. Could any cat see StarClan? Did any cat besides "normal" leaders and medicine cats ever show any sign of contacting these cats in the sky? No. Just something made up so cats wouldn't question the worrier code, and turn out like Tigerstar.

There was one other cat who didn't believe in StarClan, either. He'd seen her at gatherings, her glossy, golden pelt shining more brightly then anything in Silverpelt. Mothwing. The RiverClan medicine cat. ThunderClan's own medicine cat, the mousebrained little Leafpool, had let it slip to Cinderpelt in her den so loudly that he was able to prick his ears and hear it from the warriors den. She'd gone and run off with some WindClan cat, Crowfeather. Gone for good now. Not that he blamed her. His white paws itched. Too many rules, too little sense. The Clans had stayed together before, why not now that there was little to fight over. Was it worth killing for, an extra bit of fresh kill?

"Cloudtail!"

A white, fluffy head poked into the den. He could see the scars, gashes leaving skin on her elegant chin. She was still beautiful.

"Are you coming to the Gathering? Or are you staying with....."

Who? No one stayed, except guards and elders. And queens.

"Why would I stay? Daisy's fine on her own now, isn't she?" His eyes reflected the worry in his brain. She'd only been in the Clan a couple of moons.

Brightheart's eye narrowed and she turned on her hackles and sped out of the den, fur on end. Bitter she-cat.

Scathingly, he rose from the mossy den, gave his chest a few quick licks and padded into the clearing. The rest of the cats had already gone. Daisy's kits were playing outside the nursery. He'd like to have one as an apprentice, but with his uncle in charge, that would not happen. Sandstorm would have an apprentice, then some young warrior, then...Brambleclaw. So he could be deputy. Firestar must have gotten over his grief. The camp seemed to be deserted, although Mousefur and Goldenflower would be in, gossiping.

He would go. Don't get under her fur anymore then you need to, Cloudtail.

The open green space, overhung by the mossy, overgrown trees, was half-empty. ThunderClan and WindClan were missing. To busy looking for Crowfeather and Leafpool. Once more it hit her that her friend was missing, emptiness welling in her cheast. She was incompetent as a medicine cat, her inexperience leading to almost poison cats. Twice. Leafpool had taught her, almost like a mentor. She was alone know. And had Willowkit to teach.

Leapard star would not like this at all. Her leaders was pacing along the roots of the great trees, tail flicking this and that. The black and white tom alongside her was impatient also. Nothing was decided yet. Even the bounderies were only hazily fixed. Cats would die defending them. Was it normal, to feel for all cats, no matter what their birth. No. It wasn't. Only the Tribe, and maybe loners, thought like that. Be normal, Mothwing scolded herself. Even though she never would......

"Cats of Clans!"

It was Firestar. She'd been to stuck in her musings to bother listening. WindClan followed the ThunderClan, like the obient little cats they were. They'd always never cared for boundaries, like her, according to her brother. He'd stalked off in Brambleclaw's and Tawneypelt's direction, their siblings. She'd never like them.

"We have news of Leafpool and Crowfeather."

Muffled cries around her broke out. ShadowClan must not have heard. Why would they, with all the restrictions against setting paw on "evil" ShadowClans territory. Onestar readied his breath, white whiskers twitching silencing the confuse gaggle.

"They have....ran away."

"The WindClan leader better choose his words more carefully." Long brown tabby fur touched her own gold pelt. Her brother brushed past her, now to obviously speaking to Brambleclaw. She looked up. What was her brother doing?

"When I speak, I'd make sure of....."

They were out of her vision now, ducking behind a clump of young saplings. Sighing, she turned back to the cluster. Onestar had given his speech about why Crowfeather and Leafpool were missing. Blackstar looked vaguely disgusted, Leopardstar had trained her gaze squarely on Mistyfoot. Of course. The deputy was Half-Clan. Whatever that meant.

"Why does it have to be this way?" Had she said that out loud?

"Yes?" Who was he? A fluffy, white cat had made his way and sat beside her. Firestar's nephew, Cloudtail. It must be. His eyes were starling blue. Her own eyes were simply a pale grey, dull.

"Your lucky your not deaf, Cloudtail."

"Well, I'm here, aren't I. Unlike Snowkit."

"Who?" But he'd began to turn towards the leaders, listening intently. Bound by the warrior code, like every other warrior. Especially since he was a former kittypet.

"White cats with blue eyes often have disablitys, especialy deafness. Didn't the elders tell you?" She mewed out, softly. Leopard star was going on about their new appeanrtice. She had no right to interrupt her.

"Its an old elders tale. Am I deaf?" His furry white tail flicked at her nose. Mothwing winced.

"No, its common medicine cat knowledge, furball." Maybe a tad too informal? But he was just about her age, maybe a bit older. Not by a long way.

"Just like StarClan." It almost knocked the breath out of her. She almost felt like bounding back into the waters of the lake, where her secret should have stayed.

She manged to strangle out:

"Did Hawkfrost tell you? Please don't tell Leopardst-"

He had put his tail over her muzzle, silencing her. How did he....?

"I don't know your brother, Mothwing. I.....I don't think they're real either."

Curiosity prickled, letting Mothwing's anxiety fade and fur lie flat. She knew Leafpool wouldn't blab.

"But why don't you?" He was raised as another Clan cat, blind against what reality was, curling up to myth. The memory was hazy. Cloudtail had been in ThunderClan since he was a kit, not at apperntice age like her. He'd known nothing else.

He marrowed in laughter, caused several heads to look in their direction.

"They don't call me kittypet for nothing." His eyes swept towards his paws. "I might be a warrior, but I see only what is around me. Nothing more."

"Cloudtail!"

A white and ginger she-cat had curled up beside Cloudtail. With a sinking feeling, Mothwing realized this was Brightheart. The cat who had half a face ripped off. No medicine or herbs could cure that.

"Are you sitting there gossiping all day or are you leaving?"

She trailed her tail along his flank and flicked, signaling ThunderClan's leave. She had warmth and....jealousy in her eyes? Was this her mate? Cloudtail had been self-less to pick a cat whose beauty was firmly on the inside.

Cloudtail rose, licking his paws, meowed a muffled goodbye, and ran off towards the ThunderClan cats, lurching towards the fallen tree. Her heart sank.

With Leafpool gone, she had lost her only confident.