Disclaimer: Alas, I don't own Holly, Artemis, Qwan, or No. 1. However, I do own Death, which isn't nearly as exciting as it sounds.
Author's Note: Ah, it's been a long tiem since I wrote a oneshot, but here it is. It's just a little thing I thought of today, actually reading one of Liv's fics. I wouldn't say that my take on death is as good as her's but it was definitely fun to write, with all the glib sarcasm and sattire. So, I hope it's just as fun to read:
A Conversation
With
Death
"To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure."
-Albus Dumbledore
Death is a fickle thing. At one time or another in a person's life, nearly all of us has had that pensive moment when we stare up at the ceiling, enveloped in utter darkness, pondering. What would death be like? Is there really a God? And no matter whom you happen to be, those are the questions that unite us all in the search for meaning, whether you pray to Mecca or study subatomic particles. How strange it is that the mystery death is the great unifier of all life.
But in reality, most people die scarcely knowing it themselves, so sudden, so quick that they had no time to brood and think about the great unknown. There is no time to be curious, no time to be contemplative. And perhaps that is best.
It was in such a fashion that Holly Short arrived in the realm of death. As it turned out, all the conjectures that both humans and fairies have made about death were at least mostly incorrect. No single group can claim that they alone were chosen to know the truth, for a simple reason: Death does not wish it so.
She sits on her throne in a room where there are no walls, no ceiling, no floor, because of the realm of death exists only in the mind. It has no mass, no matter at all.
But it simply won't do to mention such human notions to Death herself. She is very proud of her realm and always getting everyone she wants sooner or later has made her rather cocky and intolerant of criticism. However, today, Death might even tolerate a few offhand critiques for she is very pleased indeed, having finally captured a most elusive fairy: Holly Short.
As her figure begins to emerge and sharpen from within the white mist, Holly studied her surroundings, and especially the girl on the throne. Death, she supposed. But so unlike anything she could have ever expected.
Death smiled at Holly's confusion. "Ah yes, Holly Short," she muttered, studying her prize almost smugly. "You have come to me at last."
"And you're supposed to be Death?" Holly raised one eyebrow. "Not exactly frightening, are you?"
"So brazen, even when dead," Death retorted. "One would think that you learned something, dying like that."
"Like what?" Holly demanded.
"Like dying from being so reckless," Death said. "How annoying you were, always interfering with my plans, denying me the people I sought. How many times you've snatched from my grip that impertinent Artemis Fowl, and his cronies. Just when I'd thought I'd had Butler, you foiled that plan, too, didn't you? But I won in the end, as I always do."
"What are you talking about?" Holly asked. "This isn't a game."
"Perhaps not for you, but for me, it is wonderful sport, trying to catch you in my net," Death smirked, savoring the challenge. "Of course, you'll all come eventually, but it is great fun to try and catch you earlier."
"Why, so you can enjoy their pain?" Holly's eyes flashed with sudden anger.
Death laughed. "Oh, are you afraid of me?"
"Of course not," Holly snapped. "Death only hurts those who are left behind."
"Oh yes, how very true," Death smiled. "You yourself have been fighting me since I snatched your father from you, haven't you? But I got them anyways, your mother, Julius," The people appeared upon Death's outstretched palm in a miniature, misty form as she mentioned them. "And I will get them all soon enough. You watch."
With a wave of her hand, Death conjured Hybras to appear below them, giving them a bird's eye view. It was a simultaneous terrifying and intriguing experience to stand on nothing and watch from nowhere.
"Abbot," Holly muttered, incensed to watch that bloodthirsty demon murder the others. It was excruciating to not be able to do anything for once in her life. Or death, actually.
As Abbot slashed the sword through Qwan and No.1, they appeared alongside Death and Holly, their originally murky forms sharpening quickly. Death studied Artemis's impassive expression with a transfixed look on her face.
"He doesn't appear to care," she muttered. "That could only mean…he has a plan to cheat me again!"
Death spun around, waving her hand as a dark river appeared. The Styx. The Ancient Greek had gotten that much right, though the Achilles story was certainly false. As if she would let live humans into her precious river: They would pollute her lovely view from the parlor and riverfront property was rare in this realm.
"Get into the boat," she commanded her newly dead companions. As soon as they entered the river, there would be nothing Artemis Fowl could do about it anymore. They would be too far emerged in Death to be reanimated safely. But that Fowl boy was rather clever— he had frozen his bodyguard and prevented Death from getting him into the river all those hours while he was dead.
But the fairies did not obey. Instead, they slowly began to fade again, their forms disappearing before Death's very eyes.
"No!" she screamed. "I won't have it! I won't be beat by that impudent human again!"
"Too bad," Holly smirked. "Guess you'll have to wait a little longer. Ta-ta." And with those words, as pert as always, she disappeared.
Death, however, found herself surprisingly calm as she watched her prizes evade her grasp once more. "Oh, but poor, clueless Holly Short," she muttered, undeterred. "This game isn't over yet."
Author's Note: Well, you know, I've always thought life was a bit of a game, so I suppose death is too. Anyways, no one get offended about the religious connotations in the beginning, okay? I'm an agnostic, so I often say stuff like that and I swear I'm not trying to say that anyone is any more right or wrong than anyone else.
On a different note, for all those people who clicked on this story because they know my name from my one and only chaptered fic, Collision, I'm so sorry about the lack of updates. But it's going to be a while yet, since I'm writing a very vital and extremely sensitive part of the story and I don't want to rush it. Also, I'm extremely busy for the next week or two what with volunteer projects, mock trial auditions, PSATs, Algebra tests, AP Euro junk...you get the idea. So I really don't know how much longer it's going to be, but consider it on hiatus for the next week or two, even though I'd hoped I wouldn't have to pause the story. That's really why I posted this little oneshot, as a compensation for my lack of updates. Many apologies and I hope you'll all forgive me.
And for those of you who were wondering what that length apology was all about, why don't you occupy your time by reading my chaptered fic, Artemis Fowl: Collision of the Worlds? I swear it isn't as bad as the title implies, though it certainly isn't professional work. It was Orion nominated however, for those who know what that is. It's found, obviously, by clicking on my username. So, go check it out!
But first, review, review, review! You know, that word used to have positive connotations for me, until the term "AP Review" was part of my vocabulary and now it's just dreadful. So, please, fill my inbox with pretty little review alerts!
Many thanks,
Lily