On the Eve of Battle

Save for the fragments of smoke still blowing over from the dying fires of Laketown, in the night before the battle, the air of the mountain was still and silent. Positioned on the top of their Uncle's crudely constructed barrier Fili and Kili kept the first watch of that evening; together the brothers looked out at the ruins of Dale, at the fires lit by the refugees and the elves who were supplying them, whilst their kin continued to search the mountain stronghold for the lost Arkenstone. Although their enemies were camped at the base of the mountain, and the stronghold could not be secured by a company of fourteen, it seemed their King had other priorities.

"I'm afraid for him," Fili quietly confessed. Sat with his back propped up against hard rock, cloaked in armour forged for someone else, he was uncomfortable but used to little else from the months they had spent on the road. It was not a yearning for the comforts of home that bothered him, or the cut of the breastplate rubbing into his chest, but the underwhelming sensation of finally seeing for himself the halls he had heard tell of in his youth.
The beauty of Erebor had been suffocated by the overbearing presence of Smaug. The air inside the stronghold was thick and musty, with the stench of the dragon's breath and death still lingering. There were footprints left in dust from where their kin had fled and bodies which had piled up inside doorframes. For him that solemn experience had provided an awakening and the gold did not seem to matter so much as it had when he first heard Thorin tell of it.

"This place is a tomb." Kili laid back up against the rock with his knees propped up before his chest, his large hands draped casually over them. "There may be gold and treasure beyond our wildest thoughts but there are ghosts here that would have been better left rested." His thoughts were of the Arkenstone, as well as their fallen kin. He shifted uncomfortably, for his armour felt tight in some places and too loose in others.
"I would have preferred to have worn nothing," he jested and looked at his brother to start up a joke.

Fili frowned, he felt too morbid to laugh, the sight of his younger brother in full - if ill-fitting - armour made him feel frightened as well as proud, and the sight of the bandage still wrapped around his leg had him feeling aggravated. Kili had almost died due to his recklessness. It was not funny to think of him armour-less in the midst of battle, any funnier than it was to think of a battle at all. They had all been through enough. He stood up using the hilt of one of his swords and walked to the west of the wall to look out over the ramparts, he could feel Kili's eyes were watching him but he tried to turn blind to it.
It was not in him tonight to be an entertainer.
There was a weight to Erebor which seemed to have clung onto his shoulders upon arrival, a sense of additional responsibility he had not felt before and couldn't fully explain if asked. We are home. He tried to tell himself. This is our home, our birth right and our kingdom – and it does feel like a tomb.

"Thorin always said that this was the legacy of our bloodline," he spoke aloud but his words were more for himself than Kili, as he spoke he looked out over the ruins of Dale. His eyes searching for things that once were. "This used to be a thriving kingdom at the pinnacle of its glory. There were those who looked at us with envy and those who sought out our allegiance. This tomb" he said pointedly, his hands clenched against the rock of the wall "was once the heart of the Dwarvish kingdoms. And we shall be again." The last sentence was whispered as if he did not believe it and did not want his brother to know of his doubt.

"And I shouldn't think that we should live to see it." Kili almost sounded cheerful.

He played around with a pebble he had picked up from the rampart and his mind was on the talisman their mother Dis had gifted to him. He thought of her face when she had sworn him to his promise and how she had pressed it firmly into his hands. Dis had long ago lost the ability to cry for such matters. Her tears, if any, were kept hidden behind stoic blue eyes.
As Fili turned to look at him, with the same eyes as their mother, Kili smiled ruefully: "I should think that Thorin would rather die in his halls of gold than make peace with our neighbours over there, and whilst I'd love a good fight we do appear to be rather severely outnumbered."

He flipped the stone back and forth within his palm, thought of Tauriel, and then wondered if he might be forgiven by his mother for falling in love with an elf. Dis held the only opinion on the matter he would have cared for, and his heart hoped for her acceptance.
As for others; he felt sorely cheated that he might never have the chance to enjoy the scandal before the end of his short life; there were plenty of dwarves he could have annoyed had he the chance to bind himself to Tauriel; his Uncle being one of them.
The pedestal Kili had placed Thorin on was cracking, for now it seemed that the father-figure who had raised him and his brother; cared for them, protected them, trained them and prepared them for this quest; was ill-suited to lead them through to its end. Though he tried not to think of it, without Thorin to guide them they were all as good as dead. He could not say it, but with the lights of enemy camp fires blazing in the distance, he feared for Thorin too.

"You know I've half a mind to run to the elves and present them with the Arkenstone, if only to get us out of this prison." He smacked the pebble against the ground in frustration. Fili's eyes followed its movements and watched it crack apart. A question, half-formed on his lips, was instantly disregarded the moment his brother added, with relief on his part, "if only I knew where the Arkenstone was."

Between the teeth of a grim smile, Fili confided: "It would seem Thorin suspects one of us of taking it. I overheard him talking to Bilbo."
Whilst speaking of it, he was unable to look at Kili knowing how deeply his brother would take the offence.

"He trusts the hobbit over his own kin?" Kili was understandably outraged.

"Would you not?"

"I would trust him as I would the rest of us, but I would look elsewhere before doubting the loyalty of those who have served me this far. What is it that causes him to suspect one of us of taking it? There are mountains of gold and gems in those caverns; the stone could be buried amongst any of them!"

"Somehow I doubt it's the kind of jewel a dragon might choose to bury."

Fili thought of the descriptions their mother and Thorin had given over the years of a jewel so bright and beauteous its image was to be burned into the eyes of its beholder, and so to look at it too long would cause all thoughts to be overturned.
"And if it has been taken I do not miss it. Thorin has fallen into his own type of madness, and the sooner he can overcome it," he looked out at the distant fires once more, almost feeling their heat bearing down upon his skin as surely as he had felt the kiss of dragon fire burning across the waters of Laketown; there they had had more hope: "the better our chances will be."

"Well, at least we've come this far." Kili patted his brother on the back and stood to stretch out his legs. "At least tomorrow our cause will finally have its resolution: one way or the other, and if we go out we'll go out fighting. The way we'd dreamed of when we were boys."

Such was his reckless attitude to life - and death - Fili thought grimly.

Although skilled warriors now, when they were boys they had never had experience in combat before, and their assailants had been trees or particularly brutish peers; they had not known what it would be like to fight when their lives or those of others hung in the balance.
Of this moment they had not fought in battles save for those they had imagined inside the warmth of the Blue Mountains, their mother's home.

For a moment her face flashed into his mind.

Let me die first. He prayed, overwhelmed by a panicking sensation, as if all he feared had already come to pass and their final hour was approaching with the creeping gait of death and his walking stick. If we are to die tomorrow than by Durin's beard please let me die first.

There was a promise of his own making that he had sworn to his mother, begun from the day that Kili was born and renewed the day they had left her side to join the company. It was his part in life to protect him. Were he to fail then last thoughts, space that might have been kept free for happier memories, would be consumed by the shame of his incompetence bearing down, as the all greeting darkness closed in. Such thoughts were hard to entertain without giving tells to his brother and Kili was beginning to look concerned.

I won't think of it. He vowed. Not tonight or any after. I will not think of it. To distract from such bleak thoughts he asked about Kili's missing talisman.

For a moment Kili appeared to look embarrassed before collecting his resolve. "I gave it to Tauriel."

"Because she saved you?"

"Because I love her," as he spoke he made it clear that this was entirely true.

There was nothing Fili would have said to challenge him although his doubts could not be hidden.

Though neither of them harboured any hatred for elves there were reasons to do with both ancient and recent histories that caused Fili to want to discredit the union. Out of protective instinct for his brother, who would surely face hostility from both sides at the match, he was reluctant to give his approval.

"You've known her for a few days," he pointed out, hoping that Kili would see concern rather than confrontation contained in that statement.

"I know," Kili said tiresomely as if he could not explain it himself. "I wish that I was able to explain it but when I'm with her I feel as though I am more important than I ever have been or ever will be again. I know that's rich talk coming from a Prince of the House of Durin but I can't put it into better words than that. I've known of other maidens for a lot longer but to hear her speak is-" he trailed off and looked up at the sky in part wonder and part embarrassment.
This new feeling was something that he did not want to share. Had he more time than he would have revelled in it but the desperation of their escape from Laketown had proven time too short a commodity to waste.

"The thought of her smile is enough to make me want to smile, in spite of the circumstances," he put simply, hoping that his brother, who had yet to be in love, would understand layman's terms.

There was silence and in that moment Fili envied him. As first heir to Thorin Oakenshield he had plenty of honourable matches waiting to be set up but so far not one had stolen his interest as well as the lure of a good sword.
Still he reasoned to himself, it was not for most dwarvish men to settle down with a match, and dwarven ladies were few and far between and an elven bride not a dream he could be sure to follow.
In his opinion, they hadn't the heart or the humour of those of his own kind. "I'm glad you've found someone."

"Don't ask me how it would work." Kili read his expression and was part jovial and part stern, as he too had been through thoughts involving the different length of their lifetimes; the concept of forming a union and the various frictions that match would create.

"I suppose I've always had you pegged as a bit of a leaf dweller," Fili joked, tired of the weight that had cast itself over that evening.

Kili smiled at him. "It's the ears." He highlighted their uniquely pointed tips with his fingers and wriggled them for entertainment. It was a running joke they had had ever since they had been children and someone had started a cruel rumour that he could have been brought up with one of the elf folk because of his height, and fair look as well – though that didn't seem such an insult now.

"Perhaps," Fili said thoughtfully, "when we come out of this Thranduil will lend you his stag."

"I doubt it," Kili countered, "I don't think that beast would be able to carry us brawnier types." He made a display of his muscles.

"Tauriel having to lift you onto it might also pose a bit of a problem," Fili teased and Kili kicked at his foot.

"That's never stopped me before," he pointed out, making reference to the time he had borrowed Thorin's horse as a younger lad.

"He was so angry when he realised that the only reason you were stuck up that tree was because Thunder had bolted near woodland and you, had had to jump onto the nearest branch."

"I thought I was going to have to find him another horse until the damn thing came back and almost trampled us to death while he was helping me down."

They laughed about this for a while until they heard Thorin shout at Ori within the stronghold for being incompetent and remembered why they had offered to take the first watch. It was Fili's temptation to run in and defend the young dwarf from the vast and unpredictable temper of his Uncle until he remembered that Dori and Nori were there should such a need arise.

"I think he caught him chronicling in his journal." Kili had made an effort to listen over the barrier; he too was ready to rush in defence if necessary, this new side to Thorin was not one he could bring himself to admire. "Let us hope that his mood improves should they ever find the Arkenstone."

There was a scraping sound of metal against rock as Fili dragged one of his short swords across the jagged ground. It was an ear wrenching habit that he had adopted during stressful training sessions and one that he was usually careful not to give in to during practical expeditions.

"Be careful now boy," Kili was quoting Thorin as he reached out to steady Fili's hand, "a blunt weapon is only a danger to its master."

"And a joke to his enemies," Fili finished and swiftly put the sword behind and back in its sheath so he couldn't be tempted. "He should have compensated Bard."

Kili agreed.

"The dragon has been slain for us and we have offered the people of Esgaroth nothing for the losses they suffered through our return. This is a time when we should be making alliances, not enemies," Fili took a breath. "We sit in the halls of our forefathers but they would surely feel shame if they could see us now."
It was the weight of the responsibility looming over him that made him talk in such a way, which felt as if eyes watched in silent judgement from crevices he could not reach. As Thorin slipped ever further into obsession and fate pushed him towards a role he felt inadequate for.
Should time call for it, I will not fail he tried to convince himself, though it made his face feel hot to think in such a way.

"Thorin will come back to us," Kili assured without needing to know of his thoughts, he knew well enough the pressure Fili was facing.

It had been a consideration, largely due to his age, that the second heir to Thorin should remain in the Blue Mountains until Erebor had been reclaimed, and might have happened had the brothers not argued against any suggestion that they should be separated. It was felt, not by Thorin or Dis but by their respective counsels, that of the two it was most crucial for Fili to partake in their mission, so Kili could be preserved ere the need arise for a second direct heir to ascend the throne.
Kili thought of this and shuddered – trying to pass it off as a chill to make it unnoticeable, "he's got to," he said under his breath.

For a while they were both lost to their own thoughts.

Neither noticed the smaller figure, protected from their sights by a new trinket, take a momentary look at them as he crept out onto the rampart, hesitate once more, and then proceed to scale down the wall.

"For his own good I hope that someone has stolen that stone," one brother spoke just as the other thought. "Or else Mahal help the lot of us."

The End.

A/N This one shot is a re-write from one I previously posted. With thanks for your reading, thefallensdesires.