OK people it's my first fanfic - don't go all paya-hata on me, please?

Reviews are welcomed :D

It was early evening in Gordon's mansion and Valkyrie was bored. Skulduggery was reading some ancient manky book (gross, Valkyrie thought), Tanith was God-knows-where, Ghastly was measuring material and Fletcher was doing something unholy with his Spongebob Squarepants toy.

Valkyrie got up and wandered through to the kitchen. She opened the fridge door, hoping to find some of Fletcher's hair gel tubes he'd put in there earlier to use as bait against him, but all she saw was several vodka bottles left over from a party weeks ago. She sighed, closed the fridge door and went back to the living room where Fletcher was now licking the TV screen.

She stared for a few moments then turned back around.

*Several hours later*

''Where's Valkyrie?'' asked Skulduggery, sitting up in his chair. Ghastly and Tanith looked up from their cosy kissing session. ''I don't know,'' Tanith replied, ''she wasn't here when I arrived.'' Fletcher looked up from the TV screen mid-lick and shrugged. ''Last time I saw her she was going into the kitchen''. Skulduggery blew out. Damn that girl for going missing whenever you want her to make you a hot chocolate. Wait, I need a cover story. ''Well, we're starting a demanding new case tomorrow so I'm going to find her and tell her to get to bed. I'd ask you to help me but that would imply you have say in the matter.''

The others got up and joined him.

Tanith and Ghastly went to check the back rooms while Fletcher checked the porch. Skulduggery went down the main corridor and saw lights shining out from the cupboard under the stairs. ''Guys?'' he called out, ''I think I've found her...''

Once the three of them had joined him Skulduggery took a deep breath and opened the cupboard door. Multicoloured strobe lights spun around the space where Valkyrie, Mel Gibson, Dusk and Harry Potter sat playing cards, the smoke from their cigars creating a weird mist.

''Valkyrie!''

''Dusk!''

''MY CIGARS!'' Ghastly yelled and had to be forcibly restrained by Tanith.

Skulduggery hit his head with his palm. 'Not you three again...''

He pulled out Harry who howled ''Noo! That's my home!'' and then Mel and Dusk who looked quite stoned and unsure of what was going on. He got some help from Ghastly (who sobbed at the loss of the cigars) throwing them outside, then they all turned back to Valkyrie and raised their eyebrows (apart from Skulduggery who tried to assume a threatening stance which was not very threatening at all being as he was very thin). Valkyrie tried to grin. ''That was a marvellous display of unanimous eyebrow-raising, I'm very impressed.''

Then the grin turned into something else and she vomited all over Ghastly's shoes.

''MY HAND-MADE ITALIAN LOAFERS!'' Ghastly yelled and collapsed. ''Well that was kind of gay,'' Fletcher remarked in the middle of back-cobing his hair. ''Maybe Ghastly's on the turn.'' Tanith shot him a glare as she pulled Ghastly by his arms to the living room. ''Well I feel sorry for the guy, you know, all his cigars stolen and expensive shoes covered in orange slime -why's her sick orange anyway - and he outs himself as gay in front of his girlfriend and best friend, you know, not his best day...'' Fletcher's voice cut off as he moved down the hall.

Skulduggery turned round and saw Valkyrie giggling silently to herself as she set the carpet on fire. He groaned, picked her up, put her on his shoulder and carried her upstairs. ''I only wanted hot cocoa, is that really too much to ask for?'' he whispered sadly to himself.

After setting the now sleeping Valkyrie down in her bed he brushed some hair away fro her face and remembered that she would have to get some of her protective clothing from her house early tomorrow for their case. The last time Valkyrie had a hangover it had lead to a half-naked chase around Paris and several bizarre run-ins with Fatboy Slim. It wasn't going to end well.

Skulduggery touched her forehead for a few moments then stood up. In the doorway stood Tanith, Ghastly and Fletcher.

Slowly, they raised their eyebrows. Skulduggery gave a nervous laugh. ''That was a marvellous display of unanimous eyebrow-raising, I'm very impressed.''