This is my first fanfic and I'm very excited about it. My siblings have encouraged me to publish a story and this is one of my recent ideas. I hope you all like it and I thank you in advance for reading it. Review if you feel the need,it will be greatly appreciated. Constructive criticism is welcome.
This fic is set anytime in season 7, Daniel is human, Jonas is gone, Sam's a major and there is no Pete. Rated T to be safe. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Giving into Grief
Chapter 1 Five Words
It was the worst five words in the history of words. They were the heaviest five words I had ever heard and I repeated them over and over again in my head. I hated them with a passion, my blood boiled, my heart pounded, my ears rang in my skull with sharp pain and my eyes threatened to water. I was furious, upset, sad. I could've killed with my bare hands, I wanted to. How does something like this happen? I wondered. The conclusion I came to was it just does. That was the truth, sometimes bad things happen to good people with no explanation. Sometimes death happens without a reason. I was never scared of myself dying but as you grow closer and closer to people you can't help but worry about losing them. Even still I never thought I would feel this way.
When Colonel Reynolds stepped away from the blue puddle and clanked down the noisy ramp, his expression grim, his BDU's dirty from battle, his mouth painted in a line, I knew something terrible had happened but I could never had imagined how much it would affect me. Reynolds stared straight at me before opening his mouth and uttering the most awful, horrific, heart breaking five worded sentence, anyone ever could. After I heard those words there was an unexplained dent in the gate room door and a trip to the infirmary with two broken toes.
The five words followed me everywhere, haunting me, killing me slowly, painfully. I couldn't sleep, imagines plagued my rest. I couldn't be awake any longer I couldn't take it. My head hurt from the echoing of that sentence. I wanted it all to be over. I wanted it to end. I wanted to wake from this awful nightmare.
It was one thing to lose someone in the same command; it something else to lose someone under your own command, a friend, a family member. It killed every fibre in my body to think of that death that took so much from me. It took what I didn't even know I had or could have had, it didn't matter now, it was over. I knew the pain of losing someone who was so close to me, it was familiar, but this was different in some way. This felt odd and strange, like no grief I had felt before, it ripped a hole in me, I never knew I could miss something I couldn't have, so much.
Over and over the words repeated, I tried to shake them from my brain, I hated them but they continued on. The five words were burned into my mind and would never leave.
It took her death for me to realize I loved her. It was something that couldn't be taken back, it was too late. She was gone. She had slipped from my grasp because I had failed to listen to my feelings. I had brushed them away like broken glass but it didn't matter anymore, she was gone and nothing I did was going to change that. Not a thing.
Major Carter didn't make it. That was five words.