Author's Note: Here's another one shot. I hope you'll like it. I'm sorry if it sucks. Please review!!
Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen Alice. I wish but I don't. :-
Hidden Beneath The Mask
Natsume's POV
"OMG!!!" screamed Sumire. "Everyone guess what!! Anna is going to the dance with Yuu" This was what went through my ears in the morning.
"WHAT?!?!" was the reply of every girl and the next thing I knew they surrounded poor blushing Anna.
They continued to batter her with endless questions like how did he ask, what are you going to wear, do you like him like him, yadda yadda … This was just annoying! I had enough of this stupid dance talk. I just hate the idea of hearing all of them talk again and again about the most useless stuff. Who needs the winter dance?
"So Natsume" said Ruka catching my attention "Are you excited for the Winter dance?" he said in a very suspicious tone.
"Oh no!" I groaned "Not you too!" Great now even my best friend abandoned me. I was alone.
"Sorry. I'm just asking" he replied "So who are you taking?" he said with a smirk
That's when I realized where he was getting at. "Don't even think about it" I said.
"Oh come on!" he replied to me "Don't try to hide it. We all know. The only one who doesn't know is her herself because she's too dense"
I jolted up and glared at him. "Ruka! Don't start!!" I shouted at him. Honestly, like I'm going to have this conversation with him…again!
"You better ask her before someone does" said Ruka
"How many times do I have to tell you?!?!" I said. "I don't like…" That's when she came in. She entered the room bringing with her the glow. She literally just brings life to this class. The way she says Good Morning to everyone like it was some song that was perfectly crafted just for her. Then she smiles her brilliant smile, a smile that brightens my day every time I see it. Sometimes I wonder why she is so beautiful.
It was when Ruka coughed when I realized I could breathe again and was embarrassed when I finally remembered that I was staring at her for way too long. Ruka was trying his best not to burst out into laughter. I was clearly annoyed. I was about to hit him when she came up.
"Hey Natsume" she said with her bright cheerful face. Must she always try to startle me?
"Hn" was all I could say to her. Like I would say "Oh hello there Mikan". Honestly whoever thought of that would be idiotic.
"Hello there Ruka" she said without any hesitation. She must be used to this and learned to accept it. "Why are you trying to stop yourself from laughing" she asked curiously
My eyes widened at that statement. That idiot. I swear if he blows my cover friend or not I'll burn him.
"Ummm… Oh it's…OW!" said Ruka. I had to pinch him to get that smirk of his face. "I mean it's nothing" he continued giving me a look.
"Oh Ok" she said "Well anyway you guys have dates yet?"
Again with the dance. Honestly, why is it such a big deal? I mean come on! I know it's the Winter Dance but we had that dance for how many years. You'd think that 7th graders would get used to it by now.
"No not yet" Ruka said obviously emphasizing the yet for my benefit. I just couldn't help my self so I made a very low degree flame touch Ruka's hand. He was about to shout in pain when I glared at him showing him that if he dared to do that he will get a bigger flame coming his way. All Ruka could do was glare back.
Mikan confused with the turn of events sweat dropped. "Well I guess I better be going" she said "See you guys later!"
Mikan's POV
There once I turned away I couldn't help but sigh. I tried my best to continue smiling but I just had to let it down even for just a little while. I suddenly walked to Hotaru making sure that no one saw the expression on my face. I quietly sat beside Hotaru and watched her work. That's when she stopped working.
"Ok Idiot" said Hotaru "What's wrong?!?!" This shocked me because she didn't even look up at me. As I was about to ask she said.
"If you're wondering how I knew I can tell" said Hotaru. This made me sweat drop. It's like she can read minds or something. "I know you Mikan. You haven't tried to hug me or even said something annoying. What is up with you?"
I grudgingly replied "Honestly I don't know Hotaru. I was just hoping he would ask me or something. I thought we were something more than friends already but he still didn't say anything."
"Don't worry so much" said Hotaru "It makes you look ugly besides you just have to be patient. Natsume is stubborn so just give him some time."
With that suggestion I smiled at her and put all my worries at the back of my mind.
Natume's POV
~After class, On the roof~
I just wanted to get away. I didn't want anymore talking about the dance. In fact I just didn't want to talk to anyone. Here I am lying down on the roof, looking at the blue sky. It's useless to go to the sakura tree because I'm sure she can find me there. I just don't want to talk to her. Of all people not her.
"You can't try to hide Natsume" said the other person I wished not to talk to. I just wished he didn't know me that well. Honestly when you hang around friends too long it's like your life isn't yours anymore. I mean come on! Where is the privacy? I tried to ignore him but he wouldn't let me do that.
"Well if you're going to ignore me" said Ruka "Then I'll just keep on talking until you budge" I tried my best not to reply.
"So anyway as I was saying" said Ruka "You know Mikan.." That's it! He had to bring her up here! I was here just to get away from her but then he comes in and starts talking about her. Angered I sat up and looked at him. We both just looked at each other sending messages just through our glares.
"Will you quit being so stubborn?!?!" shouted Ruka "Why won't you ask her?!?!?!"
"I can't!!" I shouted back at him
"Why not?!?!" he replied. I didn't want to answer him. This obviously annoyed him. "Will you quit being so thick headed?!?! You love her!! Just ask her now!" he shouted at me
"I told you I can't!!!" I replied I was on my feet already. I glared at him, anger flowing through my whole body.
"Why not??" he shouted
"Shut Up!!" I said
"Is it because you're scared that she'll reject you?!?!"
"I told you Shut Up!!"
"Is it because you can't be a man and ask her out?!?!"
"WILL YOU SHUT UP?!?!"
"Why should I when it's obvious you love her but you're too scared to show you feelings to her?!?!?!"
"IT'S BECAUSE I DON'T WANT HER HURT!!" I finally said. This startled him. It was useless to try to avoid it now. I might as well explain it to him. After calming down I explained.
"I don't want to hurt her." I said looking at the floor "I'm doing missions. I'm doing really dangerous missions and I'd be lying if I said they weren't life threatening at all. Someday…It won't turn out well. I just… I just don't want her to be there when she sees me hurt. I just don't her to be a part of this life I'm in. She deserves to be in the light. She deserves to be with someone who can assure her of a free future. I don't her to feel and try to share my pain. I've already seen what you do Ruka. I don't her to do the same."
That's when everything I've been trying to keep came flooding in. It finally hit me and I was soon full of sadness. I decided to sit down. Surprisingly Ruka sat down beside me.
I waited for him to talk.
"You know Natsume…" said Ruka "You never know when you're gonna go. It could be in years, months or even tomorrow. I just want to ask you. When you do go, will you feel accomplished? Will you leave this earth without any regrets?" he then looked at me and said "Do you want to leave knowing you could have done something but you didn't?"
I couldn't say anything. I was left speechless.
~The night of the dance~
Mikan's POV
I just tried to look at myself in the mirror. My hair was down which kind of annoyed me. I told Hotaru I didn't want to but she said since I was in middle school I had to put my hair down some time. I couldn't just wear pigtails for the rest of my life could I? The thing was even though many people said I looked great and even I thought I didn't look that bad, I still felt annoyed.
"Come on Mikan!!" said Anna "Stop day dreaming! Let's go"
I quickly put on a smile and left the dorm got to the dance everyone was waiting for. When we entered it was as grand as I expected. It had the huge decorations with Christmas tree and the giant cake as always. No matter how many times I've seen this ball I can't help but gawk at the decors. While I looked and my eyes grew big I still had this nagging feeling at the back of my mind. Why do I feel this?
"Hey Idiot" Hotaru said "What's up? You usually would be saying annoying things like this place is so amazing and I can't believe it and blah blah blah."
"Oh it's nothing" I said as cheerfully as I can
"There must be something really wrong then" said Nonoko "You would get angry at Hotaru and complain but you're acting all weird" she said this with such concern it made me realize how selfish I was. Here I am making all of them so sad over something on a night that was supposed to be full of glee and happiness. I quickly put on a smile and told them to not worry. Honestly what's wrong with me? I don't even know why I'm feeling like this. I tried to enjoy the evening when I realized what the problem was.
There I saw Ruka. He was greeted me with his usual smile. The thing was it wasn't Ruka that bothered but none other than his best friend. I looked at Natsume and stared at him. He stood there with his winter clothes. His raven hair was messy like usual and as I was observing him his deep crimson eyes met mine. I honestly couldn't help but blush. I quickly hid my face before anyone could she it. I finally understood why I was so down. He didn't ask me. I waited and waited and yet he still didn't ask me. I felt horrible. I thought we were really going somewhere but I don't think he thinks of me that way. I just wanted to cry. That's when the dancing started so I quickly left to put on my mask. I didn't want to beside him any longer. It hurts too much.
With the bustle and crowd I was separated from my friends. I was sure that they were looking and worried for me. I knew this but I didn't care. I just wanted to stay away from him. I finally decided to just go back to my dorm and just call it a night. Just as I was about to leave someone grabbed my arm. He was held my arm firmly and all I sent into a state of shock. My heart was beating like crazy. I only knew who this could be just by the warmth of his hand. I turned and there he was with a mask on. He didn't need a mask because I knew who was underneath it. Before I could say anything he spoke with his voice that just made my whole face go red.
"Would you like to dance with me" he said. All I could do was to reply with a simple nod of my head. He then guided me to the dance floor and then music stated playing.
We started dancing and my heart just couldn't stop beating. I was also trying my best to remember to breathe and not to blush. The way we danced was like how it always was when I danced with him. We weren't dancing to the music that was playing. It was like we were dancing to our own music. Not taking it anymore I stopped dancing. He looked startled.
"Why?" was all I could say.
Silence passed until he finally replied "What do you mean?" he said
Tears were starting to well up in my eyes. "Why didn't you ask me? Why are you doing this now? Am I just your last resort or something? Do you consider me as just some extra and nothing else?!?!" I said to him
Silence was all that could happen. He then did something that shocked me. He pulled me into a hug which made me realize that he was sad.
"I'm sorry Mikan" he said "I don't want you hurt. Not one bit. Not at all. I can't…it would be too much. I need you stay in the light and keep you away from me. If you stay with me…I will end up pulling you into the dark. And I don't want you to" he said with such emotion of sadness that I knew in the depth of his heart that he meant it.
I looked up at his face and I could see the pain in it. His eyes met mine and I was simply entranced by it. I didn't want him to feel this. The next thing I knew our faces slowly grew closer and closer to each other. Before our lips could touch he stopped and pulled away. He shook his head and said sorry. He walked away yet I tried to still hold on to his hand. He looked at me with sorrow in his eyes.
"Mikan…I'm sorry but I have to leave you. I have to distance me from you." said Natsume with hurt in his voice. He let go of my hand walked off, leaving me in the middle of the dance floor. He then disappeared in the crowd.
Natsume's POV
I broke into a run. I just couldn't take it anymore. It's like I can't breathe anymore. I tried to get away as far as possible. I sadly bumped into Ruka.
"Natsume!!" he shouted, startled "What happened??" He was blocking my way so I couldn't run.
"Ruka!" I said and gave him a look. He looked at me and moved aside.
I continued running. I ran and went outside. I went to the woods. I tried to run but my legs wouldn't cooperate. I slowed down to a stop. My heart was pounding. I did something that ripped me apart. I knew that this would happen but I had to do it. I supported myself on a tree as I felt a betraying tear roll down my cheek. I was taking deep breaths to try to calm myself when I heard her voice.
"Do you think you can lose me that easily?!?!" she shouted, her voice sounded hurt. Sure enough when I braved myself to look at her she was crying.
"Mikan…Don't…" I tried to speak
"Do you think I would care if I end up in the dark?!?!" she shouted before I could speak.
"Mikan you don't know what you're getting yourself into!!" I shouted.
"NO! Listen to me!!..." she said and then she took a deep breath. "What give you the right to tell what to do!?!? I don't care if I could end up getting hurt."
I was too shocked to reply. She took a few steps towards me.
"Who cares if I end up in the wrong road?!?!" she took a few more steps "Who cares if I can't see the light any more in the dark!?!?" she was close now "I don't care!! I don't care anymore. Even if I'm in too deep…as long as you're with me…I'll be fine." she said with her faces a few inches from mine.
"I love you" she said as she looked into my eyes. I was finally able to speak and said to her. "I love you too"
There I slowly closed the space between our lips. From that day on I realized that whatever may come in the future, I promised to live life with no regrets. I decided to remove the mask…and be with those I loved…free…
