Title: Do I know you?
Author: runningondreams
Disclaimer: Tennis no oujisama belongs to Konomi-san and Shonen Jump. I own no characters, names, images, plot-lines, places, or production rights.
You know you're too obsessed with Prince of Tennis when: You wonder if wearing a band aid on your cheek would make you as cute as Kikumaru Eiji.
Warnings: random, pointless ficlet. This is not intended to offend anyone. It's a joke. Or a parody. Something.
Summary: Our most loveable characters get fed up.
'Tennis Teens Take on Fandom'
Tennis Monthly
Shiba Saori
November 13, 2006
In wake of the growing popularity of an anime and manga series entitled 'Tennis no Oujisama' translated to 'The Prince of Tennis' several of the characters have stepped forward to voice their concerns and insist upon an appropriate level of respect. These individuals have banded together in their indignation, and are still trying to come up with an appropriate name for themselves. The original suggestion, 'Tennis Players Against the Gratuitous Use of First Names,' was declared unsuitable when it failed to generate an acceptable acronym. The second suggestion, the 'League of Unorthodox Styles of Tennis,' was rejected on the grounds of an acronym inappropriate for young audiences. Currently these young men are considering 'Gentlemen for the Equality of Names Kvetch International.' Once the boys are assured that a 'kvetch' is a nagging complaint and not, in fact, a deep sea monster, this reporter believes that the name will soon be adopted. The acronym is not only appropriate, but also reflects the personalities contained within it.
Who are these boys? Who else could they be but our favorite, most loveable characters? Kikumaru Eiji, Mukahi Gakuto, Akutagawa Jirou, and Ibu Shinji form the core of this group. Akutsu Jin has been granted honorary membership on the basis that he is concerned about this issue but deemed 'too scary' to qualify as a true member of 'GENKI.' This reporter believes that the boys are, in this case, only protecting their own interests. If Akutsu-kun's intimidation cannot ensure the use of his surname, such a result is probably beyond the reach of even such talented individuals as these. Similarly, Ryuzaki Sakuno and Osakada Tomoka have been granted honorary membership on the grounds that they share an interest but do not qualify as 'gentlemen.' This reporter is certain that part of this decision included that fact that most of the boys deemed these two too unimportant to really bother with. Recently Kato Kachiro has announced his intention to apply as the first seventh grade member of 'GENKI' and is expected to be welcomed smoothly. Echizen Ryoma declined comment.
Despite their struggle to find a relevant name and the internal frictions caused by the distinct culture of each boy's tennis club, the members of 'GENKI' have proven to be surprisingly concerted in their efforts for the organization. They were spotted last week picketing an anime con in disguise. They carried signs reading 'Familiarity is for Friends,' 'No response does NOT equal agreement,' 'Underdogs for Equal Treatment,' and 'Excuse me, do I know you?' Once they were inevitably recognized they refused to reply to any calling of first names and signed all autographs with surnames only.
"We really want to get the point across nya," remarked Kikumaru-kun. "I don't like being so cold, but it's not fair that people seem to think they can call us whatever they want!" Mukahi-kun showed a rare agreement with his acrobatic rival. "Our friends should be the only ones calling us by our first names," he said, "and even then they better be good friends." Akutagawa-kun was unavailable for comment but Ibu-kun was quite willing to make up for his comrade's silence. "People shouldn't underestimate us just because they've heard someone use our first names. It's not our fault if some idiots don't have any common sense, and I really don't like it when random people call me by that name, Kamio-kun and Tachibana-buchou are the only ones who call me that and they usually only say it if they're mad at me, and anyway it's really unfair that they call me by my first name while Kamio keeps his surname. I'm just as good at tennis as he is and sometimes we play doubles together and people try to call us the 'Kamio, Shinji pair' which sounds really weird and doesn't make any sense…"
Ibu-kun's remarks bring to light the fact that most of GENKI's membership is composed of doubles players. Is this merely coincidence or does it have some bearing on their cause? From observation it can be concluded that these boys are primarily net players, and are usually addressed on a first name basis by their baseline partners. In turn, our protesters rarely return the address, instead adhering to the norms of surnames. Is this conscious choice, preference, or simply a quiet request for more respect on the court? Whatever the case this reporter wishes these extroverted boys luck as they take on their fandom. Truly, such a collection of tennis talent deserves all the respect we can offer.
-owari-
(Don't question it. Just laugh.) .
On a side note: I wanted to add some of Mukahi's cussing to his comment, but "even then they better be fucking good friends" struck me as veering off topic...