[A/N: There is no real plot or timeline to this; it simply just is (also known as drabble). I was looking at a fanart of Light giving L a blowjob, and this is the train of thought that followed. I didn't even look over it. I dedicate this to fan-fan31 for hoping to see more DN stories from me (sorry if it's not very good… ^^;;) Also, I do not own the lyrics at the end. I just thought they suited Light's POV for this story. Enjoy.]
x[Soft]x
How did I get myself into this situation? Is he testing me? He knows that I know he's Kira, but… Why go to this extreme? Why try to prove something false when we both already know of its truth? Maybe he's lost his mind… I would hate that for him, but why else would he be on his knees for me? Why else would he be--?
I have a headache…
"L, stop thinking, please. You're getting soft."
Ah. He raised his pretty head up just long enough to look seriously into my eyes and to tell me, L, to stop thinking. If I had a more obvious sense of humor I would almost think that was funny.
But he dipped between my thighs again; his lips kissed my head and then engulfed me in a cavern of warmth and wet; his eyes closed and he moaned against me as I hardened in his mouth… Oh God…what have I done? This will change everything—the case, our relationship, my calculations—everything! Was that his plan all along? He wanted to do this to confuse me…? To destroy me?
He stopped again. I made a soft sound to let him know he could continue if he wanted; it didn't matter now anyway. I'd let it happen. My curiosity has gotten the better of me before, but now I just might have let it destroy my entire world.
Light Yagami…you certainly are amazing. You proved that even the coldest of hearts can feel desire; that even the best of the best can let his emotions get in the way of his work. You proved it. You won. Do you realize this? I know you must, because you know that I haven't moved; I'm still sitting here letting you suck me off till my heart's content.
The truly sick thing is…is that I wanted this. You knew you; you saw it; you struck at my weakness like the vicious viper you are. But that doesn't change the fact that I somehow feel like I let this happen, almost as if I revealed my weakness on purpose. You, Light, you were my weakness, and you never would have guessed that on your own. Not without a little encouragement.
"Fuck, L, are you gonna take all night?"
"Forgive me, Raito-kun, I…I've never done this before…" I brought my thumb to my lips out of habit and nibbled enthusiastically. Really, what was I waiting for? Everything was already lost…
Light sighed and proceeded to continue his sensual sucking. I briefly wondered if there might have been something I could do to stop this… Like if I confused him back… After all, Light Yagami was Kira, but Kira was a human, too.
"Light?" I murmured hoarsely. I waited for him to rise before saying the stupidest thing I have ever said to anyone in my entire life.
"Light, I…love you…"
Sometime after that, the sky came crashing down. My world came crashing down. Light's pretty face came crashing down on mine and all I could feel was a faint tingling in my lips, so numb now that even the tingling was very far away. My usually sharp mind was stuffed with cotton and swimming in pudding. His naked chest was pressed hard against my own as we breathed heavily together, even now vying for a control that neither of us would ever fully have. But he felt so soft…
He had the bigger portion of control at the moment, of course. He probably would for a while, if I live long enough to get it back. Damn you, Kira, or Light, or whoever you really are. I thought… I truly thought…
I didn't know…
I didn't know.
His reply? To when I said that I loved him?
"I know, L. I know."
Well, of course you know, you sweet little bastard, I just told you! But he'd unknowingly told me something too. Now I do know.
I know he didn't take the bait. I know he didn't love me back.
I knew he'd won.
"Softie," Light teased, nibbling on my ear. Soft… I liked the sound of that word…Soft…
I don't remember waking up after I fell asleep.
x.x
I remember when
You told me I'm driving you crazy, crazy
And I don't think I am who you want me to be
I'm sorry it took you this long just to see
That I'm rolling and rolling around in my mind
I hung you on a limb
Made you bend over
Backwards on a sin
Quit crying on my shoulder
There's nothing left to say
We're beautiful garbage
Throw it all away
Wash you off in the shower
Actions speak louder than words
So don't tell me that you love me now, love me now
Im gagging myself
I'm brushing out the foul taste you left in my mouth
You left in my mouth
"The Preyingmantis"
[~;~Shaku]